Sunday

15. Cedar

Cedar

“ S o, we’re good to go on this project?”

“Everything is aligned the way it should be. We’ve got the proper permits, the budget for the extra equipment purchases was approved, and we’ve got the right amount of labor in place to start.”

“They’re predicting rain tomorrow,” Emerson James replied.

“I know. It’s happening the rest of this week. It makes no sense to start until next Monday. We should be good to go and get a good run in before we receive another patch of rainy days,” I agreed.

“Well, we’ll get as much done on this sunny stretch as we can before we hit a wall,” Emerson professed.

I glanced at my watch. “Well, if that’s it, I’m heading out for lunch.”

“That’s all I’ve got. How’s that baby coming along? You guys are expecting your little one when?”

“We’ve got fourteen more weeks, but I swear it feels like time is flying by,” I replied.

Emerson smiled and nodded her head. “Yeah, it was the same way when Todd and I were pregnant with the twins. Some days, it felt as if time was passing so slowly, but before we knew it, they arrived, and life had changed.”

“You’re telling me. It already feels like life has changed,” I mumbled and chuckled.

Although Emerson thought I was talking about the baby, my thoughts were on the devastation that Sunday and I were going through.

Ever since our argument three days ago, we hadn’t been talking.

I’d started sleeping on a pallet that I made in the nursery, and she was ignoring me.

I made sure that she had everything that she needed, but aside from that, we didn’t converse much.

“Embrace the time that you two have alone now before he comes. I wish someone had told me that. Before you know it, intimate and quiet time will be rare commodities,” Emerson joked and walked me to the door.

“I hear you.”

I headed down the hallway and straight to Sunday’s desk.

I could only hope that she wouldn’t give me the cold shoulder in front of everyone.

I’d been able to avoid the office for the last few days because of some construction projects we had in the field.

But today was Wednesday, and I had several meetings lined up this morning.

The meeting with Emerson was the last one.

When I arrived at Sunday’s desk, I found it empty. I glanced over at Celine who was typing away rapidly on her laptop. She glanced up as I approached.

“You on a call?”

“No. What’s up?”

“Looking for Sunday. I wanted to surprise her with lunch.”

“She didn’t call you?”

“Nah.”

“She went to lunch about an hour and a half ago with a friend of hers.”

My stomach twisted in knots as I mugged Celine, although it wasn’t her fault.

“Where to?”

“Across the street to Flares.”

“Bet.”

“She might be walking back in here anytime soon.”

“Let her know I stopped by.”

“Will do, baby daddy,” Celine replied jokingly.

I headed out of the HR office and hopped on the elevator. In no time at all, I was crossing the street to Flares, hoping to catch Sunday with this friend. If shit was supposedly so innocent, I wasn’t sure why she wasn’t introducing this chick to her man.

There was a lunch crowd exiting the restaurant when I approached. I stood on the sidewalk and looked around, waiting to see if she would exit any time soon. Some movement in the parking lot caught my eye, and I turned to see what was going on.

I tilted my head and noticed Sunday kneeling at the rear passenger side of a car. She hugged a woman and then kissed her cheek before she stood.

Anger flared up in me, and all I could see was Taylor and Monica all over again. What the fuck was wrong with me that I kept chasing my women away to other women? I mean, they weren’t even cheating with other dudes. That was some shit that I could compete with. This was beyond me.

I started walking across the parking lot just as the car door closed and the car pulled off. There was an Uber sticker in the rear window.

“Sunday!”

She turned around with wide eyes, and her mouth dropped open.

“What’s going on?”

“What are you doing here, Cedar?”

“I came to take my woman to lunch.”

“Are you spying on me?”

“The fuck is you talking about? I came to take you to lunch.”

She shook her head and started walking across the parking lot.”

“Where you going, Sunny? Was that your little friend you were talking to? How come I can’t meet her?”

People passing us were glancing in our direction.

“Cedar, you’re really doing too much right now.”

“Or maybe I’m not doing enough. Ya damn sure running to your li’l friend every chance you get.”

“I am so tired of this!”

“Tired of what?” I hollered back.

“You. Every time I turn around, you’re comparing me to Taylor. If she’s all you can see, then maybe that’s who you should be with.”

“Watch it,” I warned. My chest heaved, and my jaws clenched tightly together.

“Why should I? I don’t have to put up with this anymore,” she hissed and threw her hands in the air.

“What you gon’ do?”

Her face turned red as she scrunched it up. “You’re embarrassing the hell out of me. We’ll talk when we get home.”

I snickered. “You don’t fucking dismiss me, Sunny. Nah, we ’bout to settle this shit right now.”

“No, we’re not. I’ll explain it to you later.”

“No, I want answers now.”

“This isn’t the time or place to have this conversation.”

“You tell me now, Sunday, or we ain’t got shit to talk about.”

“Then I guess we have nothing to talk about.”

She turned and walked away. I was right behind her.

“Is that how you want it, Sunny? I’m not with this sneaky shit.”

“I’m so damn over you and your accusations.”

“Do what you gotta do then, Sunny.”

“What are you saying to me?”

“I’m saying maybe you’re right. Maybe this shit ain’t meant for us to be.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll be gone when you get home.”

“Don’t bother, Cedar. I’ll leave.”

“Where you taking my kid to?”

“Home. With my family where I belong.”

I chuckled sarcastically and shook my head. “And you was the same one who said you wanted me to have as much say-so over my kid as you do. Now you’re running out on me.”

“Weren’t you about to do the same thing?” she challenged, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You think I’m playing with your ass, Sunday?”

“I don’t care, Cedar. When I said I needed space, you blew up and left the house.

You haven’t spoken to me in days, and now, when things don’t go your way, you want to say the same thing to me, and I’m just supposed to be okay.

Now you’re saying that you’re going to leave. I’m tired of the merry-go-round.”

I walked up to her and stared her down. “It’s not the same shit, and you know it. You’re carrying my seed. You don’t get to just walk away from me like that.”

“Watch me.”

She turned her back on me and walked away again. I ran up on Sunday and snatched her by the elbow. “The only thing I’ll be watching is you carrying your ass back to work, heading home, and taking care of you and my seed.”

“I’ll take care of me and our son just fine. I don’t need to be under you to make that happen.”

“I’m clear on that,” I replied. I marched her back across the street and made sure she made it to the building safely. Because I had an appointment with the city inspector, I couldn’t stick around for a longer conversation.

“I’ll talk to you at home, Sunny.”

Just as I left her at the door of the building and turned away, Sunday declared, “I don’t have to be at the apartment either.”

I turned around and mugged her. “Don’t have your ass there when I come home. I’ma know something.”

“Cedar, calm your ass down before these white folks call the cops on you.”

“Nigga, you didn’t have to roll with me,” I replied and banged on the door again.

“I did. I’m probably the only one who’ll be interested in saving your ass from going to jail,” Shawn hissed as the front door opened.

I mugged the man on the other side. I wanted to break my size thirteens off in his ass.

“Have you lost your goddamned mind banging on my door like that?” he seethed through clenched teeth.

“Is Sunday here?”

His scowl transformed into a smirk as he crossed his arms. “My daughter finally wised up and left you. Good for her. I knew she had some self-dignity.”

My right fist instinctively went out. Shawn snatched my arm and pulled me back at the same time that Mrs. Monroe stepped in front of her husband. I’d barely missed punching him in his shit, but I did manage to grab his shirt collar with my left hand.

I snatched his ass around Mrs. Monroe and tightened my hold until his eyes widened, and his light brown skin started turning red.

“Aye, chill ya ass out, man,” Shawn yelled, still pulling on me.

“Cedar.” Mrs. Monroe placed a hand on my arm. With gentle blue eyes boring into me, she spoke in a calm, reassuring manner. “I know that my husband has not been exactly welcoming, but we both know that Sunday wouldn’t be happy about her father being choked out.”

“Let him go, man,” Shawn pleaded.

I reluctantly released him. My chest heaved, and my fists balled at my side.

“How may I help you, Cedar?” Mrs. Monroe maintained a cool voice, and I had mad respect for her.

My chest heaved, my fists were clenched, and my nostrils were still flared.

“Have you seen Sunday?”

Although the words I spoke were to her, my eyes were still on her bitch ass husband.

“Unfortunately, I have not.”

“And if we did, we wouldn’t tell you,” Mr. Monroe declared.

I lunged for Sunday’s father again, but her mother threw her arms out and gently pushed me back. I would never hit a woman.

“Your bitch ass hiding behind your wife like a coward.”

“I don’t have to hide behind my wife to let you know how I feel about you. You’re not the man for my daughter, and I knew that the moment that I laid eyes on you.”

“Why? Because I represent everything that you fear? The truth about your identity. You’re just another black nigga trying to be something he’s not. Ole Uncle Tom ass sell-out.”

“You know nothing about me! I worked hard to get to where I am and to build my family into something they could be proud of. I won’t let you ruin that.”

“The fact that you can say that shit and don’t even know me is a joke. You have no idea who I am, what I’ve accomplished, or what I have to offer your daughter. You don’t give a shit. You just hate me because I’m black.”

“Nah, that man hates you because he sees you in him,” Shawn interjected.

“I’m nothing like him,” Mr. Monroe sneered.

“Got that shit right. I’m the realest nigga you’ve ever known. Mrs. Monroe, I’m sorry to bring this to your doorstep, and I meant no disrespect to you. I’m just looking for Sunday.”

“Honey, I’ve spoken with her. She assured me that she was safe, and she was upset with you.

She said that the two of you needed some space to work through some things, and I respect that.

Be patient with my daughter, Cedar. She’s fragile, and she has a lot to work through herself, things she needs to forgive herself for. ”

Her words made me pause. “What does that mean?”

“It’s not my place to tell you that.”

“If she has any sense, she won’t contact him,” Mr. Monroe grumbled.

“You’d love that. Before I fail to be in my son’s life, I’ll blow this bitch up.”

“Excuse me. Did you just threaten to blow my wife up?”

I mugged the hell out of him. “The fact that you refer to your wife as a bitch is reason enough for her to cuss ya ass out.”

“He meant this town, Ray. Listen, Cedar, I can tell that you and Sunday love each other. However, it won’t do anyone any good if you are in jail and not out here able to protect her and the baby.

But if you keep making threats like that, someone is bound to hear you and call the cops.

This is no longer just about you and Sunday, Cedar.

It’s about your baby too. He deserves to have both of his parents in his life. ”

“Yes, ma’am,” I remarked in a much cooler tone.

“Go home and calm down.”

I stood there, mugging over her shoulder at her husband. He glared back at me.

“Come on, Cedar, let’s roll,” Shawn suggested as he hit the back of his hand against my shoulder a couple of times.

When we were back in the car, he sighed. “Niggaaa. You can’t be going off the grid like that.”

“I’m not playing when it comes to my girl.”

“I get it, but you gotta operate with a cooler head. What do you wanna do now?”

“Drive to every business in this little town to see if we spot her.”

We drove around for the next half an hour, with me popping out of the car and rolling into businesses. When I failed to find her, Shawn turned on the music and blasted some old-school Tupac while we rolled home. Twenty minutes before we pulled up to my place, he finally spoke.

“Cedar, you gotta calm your ass down. I get that you want your woman back, but your actions back there ain’t doing shit but proving her daddy right about you.”

“I swear on God, I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve always been able to read her like a map. This chick blows back into her life, and she’s somebody different, Shawn.”

“Yeah, but it might not be what you’re implying, my guy.”

I was thankful that Shawn had dropped by to bring me a folder I’d forgotten at work that day. I was supposed to spend the evening going over some paperwork, but I didn’t realize that I’d forgotten the folder until he called me when I was on my way home.

Rather than turning around, he dropped by my place since it was on his way home. When he arrived, I was heated because I had realized that Sunday had packed her shit and actually left me.

When I told him my plans to roll to her hometown and head to her parents’ home, he insisted on rolling with me.

“I don’t know what to think it is because she ain’t telling me shit. She wants to keep insisting that it’s all me. That’s a bunch of bullshit.”

“Is she saying that it’s all you or that it’s all in your mind?”

“She claims that it’s all in my mind.”

“She’s pregnant, scared, super emotional, and probably conflicted about the state of your relationship. Before you got her pregnant, you weren’t even checking for her like that. Let a couple of days pass by.”

“We were arguing in the heat of the moment, and we were both in our feelings. I thought we’d calm down and talk shit out the next time we saw each other again.”

“Just sleep on that shit tonight. Everything looks different in the morning.”

“I hope so.”

I couldn’t imagine living life without my two shorties. Sunday meant the world to me, and maybe I hadn’t done a good enough job of making her know that.