Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Laura stepped back from the duke and watched her husband rush away. “What happened?”
The duke chuckled. “Nash lost his temper. The chair suffered for my impertinence.”
She frowned. “Nash doesn’t have a temper.”
“Oh, yes, he does when it comes to you. It was something that should have come out a long time ago, too,” the duke said as he rolled to his feet. “Guildford has left in case you were interested.”
“Good,” she said, utterly relieved. Laura had dawdled in her search for Nash to avoid speaking to Guildford again.
The man had offered to be her personal physician after she had married Nash and had renewed his ambition again today. It had taken all her strength to hold her tongue about the chances of that happening.
She did not trust anyone with just enough medical knowledge to boast about it. They were a danger to everyone. Nash knew enough to tend minor wounds incurred on the estate. But he always deferred to an experienced hand if he could. Guildford had spent barely a year learning the craft and thought that more than enough to advise everyone he met, too. She wished he’d stop calling on her at Ravenswood to enquire after her health.
She studied the duke and noticed him rubbing his jaw. “Are you hurt?”
“Not exactly,” he said, and slowly straightened his cravat.
“Where did Nash go?”
She would like to avoid him. She was out of sorts still, and Guildford’s concerned sighs had made her feel anxious again.
Laura huffed as she noticed Algernon smirking, now. She added him to the list of irritants in the day. “The one thing I disliked intensely about you was that I never could get a straight answer out of you.”
The duke laughed. “I’m sure Nash has gone upstairs. After all he heard today I’m sure the children will calm him. Perhaps you’ll feel better if you join him there.”
The children had that effect on her, and she would go to them soon, except that Algernon was not above employing manipulation to get what he wanted. He always wanted her and Nash together in the same room. Although he usually never did his brothers a disservice, to her , he had become an obstacle in her path to freedom. Ravenswood was not convinced that a divorce was necessary, but it was.
“I’ll take a walk in the garden instead.”
The duke nodded. “I’ll come with you. In fact, I insist upon it.”
She could not refuse the duke. But he was likely scheming again and eventually she would find out what it was. She would wait him out and not ask. As long as he did not lead her directly to the nursery, she would play along for now.
The duke led her outside, away from the paths she usually took. They walked in silence for quite some time. Laura refused to be the first to start any conversation with him.
Eventually Algernon sighed heavily. “I see you are still as reluctant to amuse me as you ever were.”
“If His Grace requires entertainment, he has three brothers, an estate full of servants, or he could hire a companion to laugh at his jests.”
The duke barked a laugh. “That’s what I always liked about you. You are as direct as Nash, and with no care for the result, too. I will tell you one truth each day.”
Now that was too much to resist. “Did your father leave you heavily in debt?”
“Yes. Horrible of him, wasn’t it, but typical and expected. Did Nash tell you about the money situation and his loan?”
“Not in so many words,” she admitted.
“With luck, his plan for economies will work and all my brothers will be repaid in full within two years. Three at the most.”
Laura’s stomach clenched. No wonder the duke was opposed to the divorce. He had to pay compensation to her for a failed marriage. Father had done at least that much to protect her. “So a Duke of Ravenswood actually intends to repay his debts for once?”
“I am not my father,” Ravenswood promised. “I did not like the way he treated you, either. But…”
“But what?”
He squinted into the sun. “I was not your husband, Laura. Had I interfered, my father would have assuredly used my interest in your well-being to drive a wedge between us all.”
“He did that anyway.”
“Yes, and no.”
She let out a sigh and stopped. Algernon was not to blame for her marriage. His father had been, but Nash was culpable. Algernon’s only fault was keeping her here for these thirty days before he gave his brother his blessing. “You could marry an heiress and pay them back immediately.”
“Would you of all people really want me to marry in haste after all you’ve been through?”
She considered the duke a long moment and imagined the sort of bride he would have to choose to repay his debts. “Perhaps not.”
“Believe me, I do not want to marry in desperation for a large dowry, but I may have no choice.”
Was he saying his brother had done that with her ? Laura cast her eyes about the grounds, looking for an escape from the only plausible conclusion she could reach. There had been an obvious urgency to set a wedding date between her and Nash. She had believed Nash eager for their union.
Algernon touched her hand, drawing her attention back to him. “When you left us, I must admit I was upset.”
“Why? No one wanted me here.”
“Yes, that is somewhat true, but not for the reasons you imagine. Like everyone else, I wanted you away from our father, or him from you. I did not like the way he spoke of you to my brother, and I did not like how Nash ignored it. Had I known how bad it was I swear I would have taken you away myself.”
“Nash was ever your father’s puppet.”
“Reluctantly. For the whole of our lives, we have done all we can to protect each other.” The duke pursed his lips. “Did Nash ever tell you that, for a time, Father doubted Stratford was his son?”
“No,” Laura admitted, shocked by the suggestion.
“Threatened to send Stratford away, claiming he was weak and therefore no child of his. Father said he had proof that might have upheld a claim of adultery as well. There was admittedly a brief friendship between our mother and another man around the time of Stratford’s conception. Father threatened to humiliate Mama and disinherit Stratford right until the day she died. He spoke of it to Nash and me often.”
“I did not know that,” she answered.
“But it was foolishness, of course. Stratford was obviously cast from the same mold as the rest of us were. To prevent him from disowning our baby brother, Nash rashly made a bargain with Father. A promise that had consequences for your marriage, unfortunately. When you left, Nash was forbidden to follow you, or he’d risk Stratford’s place in the succession, and besmirch mother’s reputation in the bargain. He adored Mama.”
“And he loves his brothers more than anyone,” she said, and then stopped. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“When did I ever have a chance to talk honestly with anyone?” he asked with an arched brow. “You know firsthand how cruel my father could be. Twisting the truth until it fit his purpose. Anything Stratford and Jasper did wrong as children, Nash and I accepted the blame for. Nash took many of the punishments meant for our young brothers’ supposed disobedience as if they were his own failures, and mine as well, sometimes.”
Her breath caught. “I wasn’t aware of any harm done to him.”
“Not on his skin. Father was too smart to cause physical harm to us. He needed healthy sons to torment, and to give him heirs when I refused to marry and sire mine at his command. Nash learned early to hide his feelings, lest they be used against him. I think he did it too well. When I refused to consider the notion of a match with you, Father took what he thought was his revenge, permitting Nash to marry you, and thereby threatening my place in the succession when your sons arrived.”
“I see,” she answered, dismayed that Nash had been manipulated into choosing her for his wife.
“No, I don’t think you really do. Nash wasn’t unhappy about marrying you at all.”
Laura shook her head. “He did his duty to his family.”
“It was not duty when he married you. Nash was glad. Glad for me to remain a bachelor. But glad mostly for himself. It is the only truly selfish thing he has ever done in his life.”
She frowned.
“It has never been easy to tell when Nash liked anyone, especially women,” the duke said, one brow raised. “The danger of revealing any interest was too much of a risk for him. Father inevitably used such instances to wring further obedience out of us all. That’s probably why Nash never mentioned his earlier conversations with you. Those times your paths crossed on the estate before you were formally introduced and brought out. They were his secret.”
“But you knew,” she accused.
“He was too anxious the night of that first ball you attended. Painfully nervous about his appearance. He was first downstairs to greet all the guests, complained at me for being tardy, which he never does. And then you were there, and he blushed,” Algernon said, laughing softly.
Then his brows drew together in a deep frown. “When we were young, Nash had a favorite dog. Clever thing. Obedient, smart enough to learn tricks. The animal was exceptional. Nash adored it. When Father saw the bond between Nash and the dog, he said the dog was his property. When Nash protested, Father shot the dog right in front of him. Nash was punished for crying. Solitude for a month in the nursery, although we all visited him each day in secret. Then not long after that, Mama died, and we could not mourn her , either. Nash learned never to show how he felt about anyone beyond his brothers after that—especially you.”
“I always knew the duke was cruel,” she whispered.
“Is it any wonder Nash pretended not to care about you?”
“He did it so well I still believe it,” she said bitterly.
“Think for a moment. If Nash was cold to you, it was likely so Father did not realize what you meant to him.”
“I meant nothing.” She took a step back from Algernon. Algernon knew his brother better than anyone. Better than she certainly did or ever could. The duke believed he was telling her the truth as he saw it. “Your father is dead and nothing has changed here,” she began.
“The habits of a lifetime are hard to break. Even now when I enter the ducal study, I tense up, expecting to face my father again and be given a set down. It took me months to sit behind that enormous desk without jumping out of the chair every time someone knocked on the door. Our father left an impression, a mark, on each of us. Stratford perhaps is the most fortunate. We made sure he was spared the worst of it.”
“You will do and say anything for your brothers,” she said sadly.
“We will do anything for our family , which has always included you. Give us a chance to prove we are not your enemy. The enemy was Father, and each of us must shake off the chains he bound us in, in our own way. Especially Nash.”
“What have you done to free yourself from his memory?”
“I was intimate with a woman on my father’s desk before he was even buried in the ground.”
Despite the scandalous nature of the confession, Laura couldn’t help but laugh. “He would have been outraged.”
The duke’s grin was vicious. “I do hope he died a second time.”
“And Nash? What has he done?”
The smile disappeared. “Nash remains bound to the past in many ways still. He needs help.”
“And you won’t help him?”
“I always help him, but he needs more than me. He needs your help and understanding. He needs your forgiveness now, too.” The duke frowned. “You were beautiful, charming, and bright. You had a fortune in a dowry that any man would covet. You would have made an extraordinary duchess. Mother would have approved of you taking her place, had she lived long enough to see the day come. Did you never wonder exactly why I didn’t want you for my bride when I could find no fault with you?”
“You told me you did not care for a marriage arranged by our fathers,” she replied. She remembered feeling relief that he would never ask. “I was glad, too.”
“Yes, I noticed you were not heartbroken to be denied the title of duchess,” the duke said, and smiled again. “I much preferred you as a potential sister. You are the only woman who can make my brother happy.”
At that, he turned away abruptly, leaving her standing in the garden with his last words ringing in her ears.
Had she ever made Nash happy? Certainly she’d tried, but she had only really succeeded in the bedchamber. Outside of it, she’d failed. He’d wanted nothing to do with her outside of the bedroom.
Was all his coldness and indifference really caused by his father?
He’d been constantly under her feet since she’d come back, yet he seemed much the same. The duke had ordered them to spend time with each other, so Nash was not spending time with her by choice.
She heard a step and spun about to find Nash not far away.
He blinked, as if taken by surprise by her presence in the garden. Then he scowled. “I thought you would be with the children.”
“The duke said you were with them.” She looked Nash up and down, surprised by his rumpled state. His cravat was hanging loose, his hair was a mess. He looked…unhappy.
“I’m not, obviously.” He shuffled his feet. “Are you on your way back to them now?”
Normally she would have answered yes, if it meant she could get away from Nash. Today, after all the duke had said about his childhood, she became curious about all the things her husband had never told her. “I was going to walk the grounds alone, but your brother insisted on coming with me.”
Nash glanced around the gardens, eyes narrowed. “Where is my brother now? What did he say to you?”
Why did Nash look so worried? Did he not want her to know about his struggles? “He talked of nothing important. I don’t know where he’s gone now, though. He just left.”
Nash glanced down to his feet, and then his gaze rose slowly to meet hers.
A flush of heat bloomed over her skin at the intent look in his eyes. She wet her lips and his gaze became fixed on her mouth. Her nether regions quivered with remembered anticipation of what his mouth could do to her body. She turned away fast, disturbed by how quickly he affected her. “Join me for a walk if you wish, or don’t.”
She began walking, and suddenly Nash was at her side.
“Did you enjoy Guildford’s visit?” he asked.
“It is always pleasant to meet one’s neighbors.”
“Only pleasant?”
She winced. “Guildford talks of old times with a great fondness that I don’t share. The duke joined us and ordered me to go find you.”
“I was in the study, where the duke had left me. He knew exactly where I was the whole time.”
“Well, he did not deign to tell me that,” she said sourly. “Can a Duke of Ravenswood ever not scheme and manipulate?”
“Probably not,” Nash admitted. Suddenly, Nash gripped her bare hand. “Where is your wedding ring?”
“I took it off.”
“When?”
“Today,” she said, chin rising. “It’s not as if you wear yours anymore.”
He slipped a hand under her elbow again and turned her about. “Come with me.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to talk to you alone.”
He marched her toward the orange grove, which seemed deserted at this hour. Laura tried to subtly shake him off, but Nash’s grip only tightened more, though it was not painful.
The edge of the orchard was the place where they’d first met, well before they’d been introduced. Laura had snuck onto the estate on a dare from her brother to pinch an orange for her supper. Nash had found her, though, and instead of being angry and giving any cry of alarm, he’d taken one from the tree himself and peeled it with a pocket knife before offering it to her.
He had been very sweet and kind and promised that she could return whenever she liked. They’d met there several more times, until all the fruit had been harvested.
It had been the perfect place for them to talk, private and far from his family and hers. A place where she’d begun to care about him. They had not come here together even once after their marriage though.
She glanced up at Nash now, and there was such a look of grim determination on his face that she was worried. “What is it?”
“Wait,” he demanded, and then he guided her to sit on a bench seat the workers used.
He did not sit beside her today, but began to pace back and forth. She waited, deciding that whatever he was preparing to say must be difficult for him.
He turned to her abruptly. “Why did you agree to marry me?”