35. 35
35
Colton
I ’d been trawling around the back roads of Gumtree Valley for an hour when I came to a crossroad. Emotionally, mentally and physically, it seemed . The ute rumbled, waiting for me to choose a direction. Turning left would lead me into town, right back home and straight ahead to View Point. I wasn’t ready yet to go back home and spend my last night in my childhood room. Acting happy with Riley at the pub wasn’t all that tempting. I put the ute into first and headed on to View Point. Hopefully it was a bit too early for the local teenagers’ cars to be rocking up there.
The powerful engine surged up the ascent. The last time I’d been here was when Honey had been my passenger, smiling into the cool breeze that only came with nightfall. We wouldn’t go to View Point for the same reasons the other teenagers did though. Well, not all the time. Instead, we would lay next to each other against the windscreen or sit next to each other on the tailgate, our boots playfully bumping against each other. We would try and find star constellations, smacking each other excitedly if there was a shooting star. We would talk about anything and everything. Sometimes when she smiled at me with the stars reflecting in her eyes, I was too weak to resist temptation.
I wished that she was next to me now, cruising along. I thought that the drive would help take my mind off the plane I would be boarding tomorrow. But the more I drove around in my old ute, around the town I’d sworn I’d never come back to, I realised I was doing myself more damage than good. It would be selfish for me to stay when I’d made everyone around me miserable. Once I got back on the circuit, I would be reminded of how much I loved the life I’d chosen. Gumtree Valley, and those in it, would hopefully once again turn into a blip of my history.
When my ute reached the top of the point, I was surprised and slightly miffed when the headlights swept across an old HJ Cruiser. Duke’s silhouette appeared in the cab, eyeing me with curiosity when I swung the ute into a park next to a woman sitting on a bullbar. Was this a sign to stay, or a signal with red flashing lights that leaving was the best thing?
I folded myself from the ute, its hot engine ticking loudly. I could see Honey watching me from the corner of my eye as I made my way around to lean against the warm bonnet. The nighttime view of Gumtree Valley’s town was nothing like the glittering landscapes of cities I’d seen in the States. Rather than webs of freeways and billboards, I knew which road was the main road as it had the most lighting. Some house windows glowed along dark streets. The scenery beyond was one big inky shadow.
‘Are you stalking me?’
I looked over to Honey, a smile coming onto my face, making my healing bruises ache. ‘Luckily for you, I just needed to go for a drive. Should I be concerned that you chose the teenagers’ secret spot to sit alone at?’
‘Maddie informed me that View Point is no longer the hang out,’ she said in a teasing tone. ‘The dam is now the new hot spot to get drunk and lose your V-card. Only thing is you need a four-wheel drive. Cops can’t get down there.’
‘If only our year group had thought of that. Imagine how many less pregnancy scares there would’ve been?’
Honey gave a soft laugh. ‘View Point is now where people go to think about life decisions while trying to resist the urge to hurtle themselves over the edge.’
I looked down at the blackness, knowing that the steep plunge was a face of jagged rock and bush. ‘You’re not the only one mulling over decisions they’ve made.’
She looked to me curiously and I sucked in a deep breath.
‘I’m going back. Tomorrow.’ There was a jolting look of shock—and hurt—on her features reminding me of when I’d broken her heart the first time. ‘If I take much more time off, I won’t have a career to get back to.’
‘Oh, right. That’s understandable.’ Honey’s boots moved over the gravel slowly, until her body was only millimetres from my own against the Holden. ‘Well, good luck.’
‘Thanks.’ I could feel her scrutinising me and I squirmed, hating and loving the way she knew me like nobody else did.
‘For someone who’s returning to his dream life, you don’t seem very enthused.’ When I didn’t reply, she changed tactic. ‘So your dad is doing better then?’
I nodded. ‘Well enough to drive himself to the local appointments.’
‘And how does he feel about you running away this time?’
‘I’m not “running away”,’ I muttered. ‘But we all sat down and talked this time. He and Beau, they’re happy for me to go back. They know this is a life I’ve wanted for a long time.’
‘It’s just a shame that it took all this drama to sort your differences and now that you have, you’re going away again,’ said Honey quietly. I wondered if she was talking about us, too.
‘You won’t know what to do with yourself with me no longer around causing drama.’ I grinned cheekily.
Honey looked at me, anger in her eyes but a smile battling to glow on her face. ‘You’ll be causing me drama wherever I go in life, Colton Hayes. You’re like a ghost who haunts me.’
My heart skittered at her words. I resisted the urge to brush away a tendril of hair the wind blew across her face. You haunt me too, is what I wanted to say, in the grandstands as I ride, in the passenger seat of my truck, in my trailer when I’m trying to give myself to another girl . But something registered on Honey’s face, an expression between relief and sadness, that told me I didn’t need to say a word. I torture myself every day over what could’ve been with us. Why did I give up on us?
Why did I let you go?
‘Do you think that maybe, someday, you’ll come back?’
I didn’t miss the way her eyes flickered down to my mouth which was already parting with anticipation. We were leaning closer now, steadily, like we were trying to avoid being scorched by the raging fire between us. She was no longer with Beau. It was still too soon, my head knew that. But it was relinquishing its control of my heart.
‘I dunno, Honey.’
‘Yes or no, Colton?’
A smart person would stay away from the flames. Throw a big bucket of icy cold water to extinguish them. But I’d never been one to play it safe. I didn’t know how to not play with fire. So as my hands reached for Honey’s, her skin so smooth against my callouses, I didn’t care about the flames licking at my skin. The pleasure I felt from such a simple touch made the fire flare. I could feel the heat against my body. A warning. There was still time to bail. Still time to run.
But I didn’t want to.
My hands moved to travel up her arms. A light breath shuddered past her lips. ‘Why does it matter if I stay or go?’
Maybe the fire I didn’t fear did scorch Honey, because she tore herself out of my grasp and moved away a few steps. I fought my heart to stay afloat. I knew she wanted this. To finally cave into the desire which had swirled between us from the moment I stepped into The Honey Pot. From the moment she heard my voice, wearing those denim shorts and heels. From the moment something dangerous reignited between us when she stumbled on the loose floorboard. It was her fear of the heat keeping her away.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Duke’s silhouette in the cab of the old LandCruiser as I approached Honey. Keeping a watchful eye over his master. She was standing on the edge of the cliff face, arms folded protectively over her chest as she stared down at the inky blackness. Ever so softly, I placed my hands on her waist and by the way her head rolled back to rest against my shoulder, exposing the sweet spot of her neck, I knew she was losing the battle.
I rested my face against the crook of her neck, breathing in the scent that was all Honey, my senses going into overdrive. ‘Tell me what’s going round and round in that head of yours.’
Her face twisted around to mine, her soft breaths tickling my face in the most euphoric way. ‘You always know when I’m thinking too much.’
‘That’s true, but not what I asked for.’
Honey’s entire body twisted around. I kept my hands on her hips, making our belt buckles grate against each other. The blaze began to burn brighter each time a piece of skin brushed. But I wouldn’t run. I would let my entire body be covered in blisters and burns before I let her go tonight. I wouldn’t let go of a moment I’d been dreaming about so long because of fear.
‘You can’t stay. You have to go. I can’t stand to look at you for another day when you’re not mine.’ Honey’s voice was a whisper as I held in a groan when the pad of her thumb brushed against my jawline.
Not a breath passed between us before I had her hoisted up onto my hips. My hands lifted her face to mine when her chin tucked to her chest with shame. ‘Then be mine. Just for tonight. Be mine again.’
I wasn’t expecting Honey to kiss me with such ferocity. I couldn’t help but stagger back a step. The inferno between us burnt, hotter and brighter than ever before, their tendrils licking high up into the night sky. It felt like the atmosphere was crackling and popping with an electric charge as our mouths moved against each other in a dance so hungry and desperate. My hands moved from her face, coming to clutch her jean-clad arse tightly. We pressed against each other with such desperation our bodies almost welded into one.
I blindly moved us backwards until I was resting against the bottom of my ute. With the cool metal against my arse, I broke our heated kiss to move my mouth to Honey’s neck. She was already panting heavily, sucking in air with her head tipped back, giving me access to every inch of her soft and delicious skin. I peppered light kisses down the column of her neck, taking my time. I grinned against Honey’s skin when her fingers clutched at my shirt, twisting it so tightly I thought she might tear it right off. I could feel blood rush to my already rock-hard erection when her moan told me her sweet spot hadn’t changed. Right in the crook of her collarbone, above a freckle she’d always had. X marks the spot.
Honey squirmed and grinded against me as I licked, nipped and sucked just how she always liked it. I wish I could say I was more skilled this time round, more experienced and delicate than the horny teenage boy I’d been last time we’d done this. But I was so desperate to be inside of her, I had to wrestle the same teenage hormones back. It wasn’t about us. It was about her. All about her screaming my name and coming until she was in a dazed bliss.
When Honey’s nails began scraping beneath my shirt, on my back and then moving onto my front, I knew she was becoming impatient. The act of her desperation to have me just as much as I wanted her was also making me strain painfully against my zipper. I taunted her a little longer, sucking until I knew there would be a little mark, before my own hands slipped under her top.
‘Wait.’ Honey’s voice was strained, like she didn’t want to pause, but she pulled back to look at me. Against the starry sky, beneath the moonlight, with messy hair and swollen lips, I could get off just by looking at her. But the nervousness in her eyes halted me from undoing my jeans and showing her what she was doing to me.
I sucked in a couple of deep breaths before asking, ‘What’s wrong, baby?’
Her eyes darted around my face nervously before flicking down to her fidgeting hands. ‘Things are different.’
I frowned, unsure if my boner was cutting off my ability to understand basic English or if she really was talking in riddles. ‘Different? Of course things are different.’
‘No, different with me. You’re an athlete. I mean, I almost broke a nail on those damn washboard abs of yours.’ Honey gestured wildly to my torso. ‘When we were together, I was a size ten and my boobs weren’t starting to sag. They were nice handfuls, you know?’ I couldn’t help but smirk when she cupped her breasts, even if it was in frustration. ‘Maybe we should stop now. Before reality ruins what tonight will be like.’
I tugged her back to me, planting her back firmly on my lap. She gasped, gripping my shoulders tightly when I rolled my hips up so she could feel exactly what she was doing to me. ‘I don’t think I mind what damn size clothes you wear.’ She gave another gasp of surprise when I undid her bra with a simple pinch. I let out a groan, my forehead crashing against her shoulder when my thumb brushed against her perfect and soft bud. ‘And there is nothing wrong with these.’
‘But—’
‘Stop thinking. If you don’t want to do this, then we’ll stop. But if it’s because you’re worried about how your body has changed in seven years, then let me prove to you how much I don’t care about that by ramming my dick over and over into that perfect little pussy of yours. Then we can argue. Deal?’
Honey’s eyes went wide and her teeth chewed on her bottom lip as her head bobbed up and down in a nod. Then, the sexy little sass I’d witnessed the night she drove my ute clouded over the insecurity. ‘Okay, cowboy. Show me how you handle the wild ones.’
‘Careful.’ I gave her nipples a playful pinch between my fingers, twisting ever so gently. A pleasured cry shot from her mouth, her pelvis bucking against my strained crotch. ‘I’ll have to get the ropes out if you keep talking like that.’
Honey gave a squeal of delight when I grabbed her by the waist and flipped our positions. I couldn’t help but pause, swallowing roughly at the sight of her between my braced arms. I was glad she was distracted tracing my tattoos with her fingertips because I didn’t want her to think my pause was one of hesitation. It was far from it. I could only look down at her in pure awe; her blonde hair a unique mixture of curls and waves swirled against the black bonnet, the splattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks when she always thought I only saw her acne, her flushed cheeks, her big blue eyes, which she always admitted was her favourite feature about herself.
‘What?’ I’d paused too long and Honey was now looking at me with a furrowed brow.
‘Nothin’.’ I tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear before pressing a soft kiss to it. I moved my lips to her cheek, then mouth, before brushing a thumb against her bottom lip. ‘Just enjoying the view.’
The heat of our desperation seemed to dissipate, turning from a need to deep-rooted longing. There was a foreign gentleness to my touch when I unbuttoned Honey’s blouse. Instead of rushing through and sending buttons flying, I enjoyed the feeling of the silk between my fingers, steadily revealing more and more of her loosened bra and stomach. It was a stark contrast to the sex I had with other women. Against the bonnet of my ute, there wasn’t any over the top acting, no dirty talk. No one was tied up—yet. If I had more time with Honey then maybe I would. I wanted nothing more than to show her my earlier comment wasn’t a joke. But right here, tonight, under the raw night sky, I wasn’t having another meaningless fling with a woman who’d sneak out before sunrise. I wasn’t going to wake up to the sound of my hotel room’s door clicking shut and find a phone number scrawled onto a piece of paper. Phone numbers that were scrunched into a ball and thrown away. I knew this meant I had to say goodbye to Honey. I knew my heart was going to feel like it was being ripped from its chest when I drove away.
I forced those thoughts from my mind though when I pulled her blouse open, exposing the tattoo of angel wings over her heart. The ink rose and fell with her panting. It only reinforced just how gentle I had to be with Honey. How I wanted to treat her differently; with tenderness and love.
Our mouths found each other again, opening to explore all we could. I took my time to slip her bra from her shoulders, enjoying the way goosebumps broke across her skin when I kissed the places the straps had sat. Honey’s hands found my belt, feverishly unbuckling it while her hips lifted and moved against my own.
I reached down, placing a gentle hand on her own to stop her. ‘Tonight, I’m pleasuring you .’
Honey pried my hands away and a sultry smile was on her face when she undid the zipper and shoved a hand into my jocks. I thanked the powers above for not making me come into her hand. I gave a groan as she gave my erection a tug. ‘This is a pleasure.’
I was soon at her mercy. I let her tug my jeans and underwear over my hips. I almost groaned again as my cock sprung forward, finally free from the denim confines it’d been hard pressed against. I brought my mouth back to the sweet spot on Honey’s neck, wanting to relish in the pleasure but fighting to stay strong as her perfectly tight yet gentle grip pumped up and down. Her heavy pants and needy moans filled my ear, her breath blowing against my neck. I moved my gentle suckling down her neck, across her collarbone, until I found the mounds she now thought were imperfect. She couldn’t be more wrong. They were full and perfectly round, nipples perky with need. I placed one of them into my mouth, grinning at the way her hips suddenly jolted up. While I sucked and gently pinched the bud between my teeth, altering between each side, feeding off her grinding against me harder, I got to work undoing her own jeans.
I almost crumbled, dying to shove my desperate dick into her when I felt how wet her undies were.
‘Fucking hell, Honey.’
A whimper broke her moans when I slipped a finger beneath the soaked fabric, tracing her edges with a light touch. Her thrusts were getting ragged and clumsy. I grinned at her frustration, continuing to swirl my tongue around her nipples. I didn’t think it was possible, but I could feel her growing wetter with every stroke of my tongue and fingers. The pumps of my cock became sloppy. Desperate.
‘Colton.’ Her hands left my dick, moving to grip my shoulders and try bring me down closer to her. ‘Colton, please .’
I teased her a little more, tracing closer and closer to where she wanted my fingers before slipping one in. She gave a moan of satisfaction, relaxing slightly. She was so tight, so warm and wet and ready around my single digit.
‘Fuck, you’re tight,’ I muttered. ‘I don’t wanna hurt you.’
‘More, Colton.’ Her eyes drilled into mine, wearing a gaze of wild neediness. ‘I need more.’
I hesitated slightly, wondering how I was going to fit in two fingers let alone my cock when she was clamping around my single finger like a vice. I continued to work her, the sound of her wetness and watching her writhe around on the bonnet pumped more blood to my erection. It felt like it was going to burst off my body. My thumb reached upwards, rubbing gentle circles until the cry told me I’d hit the jackpot. I pulled my finger out of her, instead using the heel of my hand to rub her clit while my fingers rubbed against her opening.
‘Fuck, Colton.’ Honey panted heavily, her hands raked up through her hair while she grinded against my hand. ‘You know what to do. You always know what to do.’
I stilled my hand, letting her do what she needed to against me as I returned my mouth to her breasts. Licking, sucking, pinching, biting—gently.
‘I think I’m …’ Honey couldn’t finish her sentence before her nails were digging into my shoulders, clawing down my back as a pent-up cry of pleasure broke free.
I gave Honey a quick kiss before making a break for the glovebox in my ute. I hated leaving her to tumble over the edge alone, but I wasn’t going to last much longer now I’d gotten that sound out of her. I pulled my shirt off, kicked off my jeans and boots, before rolling the condom down my shaft. I’d tossed some frangers in just in case I wanted a meaningless fling. But then I’d seen Honey, and when my old feelings were reciprocated, I didn’t give the condoms in my ute a second thought. I never thought I’d be actually using them with her . Honey was watching me as I rounded the ute again, her eyes locking onto my wrapped cock hungrily.
‘Bend over.’ I expected her to protest. But that sultry look was back in her eyes as she shuffled down the bonnet and widened her legs in front of it. Her tits brushed against the metal. ‘Good girl.’
I sucked in a deep breath when I came up behind her, giving her arse a cheeky slap. A giggle broke from her as I gripped her hips. I sent a prayer, asking my dick to not let go on the first thrust. I was about to have sex with Honey McBride. Again. I nudged against her opening. I was hoping her earlier orgasm would mean she’d be a little looser, but her pussy had tightened up again as if it’d never been touched. I didn’t know whether to be glad or terrified.
‘You’re really tight. I’ll look after you though, okay?’ I pushed forward again, this time allowing a little more in.
Honey twisted to look at me as best she could. A small smile quirked her lips. ‘I know you will.’
Her walls clenched around me with every agonising push. If I was hurting her, Honey didn’t let it show, but just stood there with her legs spread. As I got further in, her arse began rocking against me. She began moaning and rolling her head back, her blonde hair almost within my grasp. Another time I would’ve grabbed a fistful, but not tonight. She began rocking against me faster and faster, until she let out a large moan when I completely filled her. I let myself stay fully inside her, absorbing every bolt of pleasure shooting up the length of my cock. My hands found her breasts again, my fingers tweaking her hardened nipples as I pulled out and plunged back in. Her arse was slapping against me, matching my fast-paced thrusts. I took one hand away from a breast, using it to slap a hand over her arse. I watched my dick disappearing between her arse cheeks, letting loose with a deep-rooted moan of my own.
‘I’ve pictured fucking you like this for so long.’ I could feel my dick swelling, approaching the edge of ecstasy. Honey was panting, her hips bucking. But this wasn’t how it was ending. ‘Flip over.’
My cock slipped out when Honey whipped around to face me. The apprehension was back on her face and I knew I was asking her to be vulnerable by riding me, but I was desperate to watch her tits bounce, to watch her come apart on my dick. She always came on top. She looked to be preparing an argument, until she slid down, allowing me to take my place.
‘Hey.’ I reached up, brushing my thumbs against her cheeks when she crawled on top of me with a nervousness. ‘You have no idea how beautiful you look right now.’
A blush stained her cheeks and she ducked her head for her hair to act as a curtain. I watched as she lined me up with her opening. I watched her eyes flutter shut and head loll back as she sank down onto me. Her body fell forward, her hands braced on either side of my head. Then she started moving against me, and fuck I didn’t know if there was a better feeling in the world. Dots started dancing across my vision. Honey was tight. So tight. And I was so deep. Her thrusts became deeper, her pelvis boring down onto me. I let out a groan, hoping it boosted her confidence to keep going. I was close. So, so close. But I wouldn’t let go until she did.
‘Colton. Colton.’ She was going faster now, panting between my name. ‘You feel so fucking good inside me.’
‘Let it happen. Come all over my dick.’ I managed to get out between gritted teeth.
Her walls clenched around me tighter. Her arse slapping against my thighs as she threw everything into her motions.
‘Colton, I think I—’
‘Say you’re mine,’ I panted. I gripped her arse in my hands, bringing her down onto me even harder. ‘Scream it for everyone to hear.’
‘I’m yours, Colton! I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m yours!’
Honey clenched around me one final time and I toppled over the edge with a cry as her pussy fluttered and pulsed around me. Dots and stars blanched my vision. I felt like I was soaring. Honey kept riding me, grinding on me as I shot into her over and over. I felt empty, my ball sack completely drained. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so fulfilled from sex. Maybe because the women I’d been with weren’t Honey. With them, it was purely sexual. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am. Honey and I had a connection. A connection which brought a depth to what we just did.
We were both breathing heavily, now limp. I nuzzled my face into her knotted hair, my fingers tickling along her spine. Our bodies twitched, the aftershocks of our orgasms pulsing through us until we lay sated against each other. I felt my dick go flaccid, and Honey must’ve too, because she rolled off me so I could deal with the full condom. I was glad Honey had begun searching for her clothes, not that I wanted her gorgeous body covered up. Now that we weren’t going full throttle on one another, the night had dropped to a chill.
After I shoved my clothes back on, I rummaged through my ute until I found a jacket stuffed down the back of the seat. I grimaced. It definitely wasn’t the cleanest jacket. I didn’t want Honey to think this was all I thought of tonight. But it was better than leaving her to shiver against the cold.
I frowned deeply when I extended the jacket to her. She wouldn’t look at me as she timidly took the jacket. My mind went to its panic stations. I couldn’t help but flick my gaze to her jeans, looking for signs of blood. Fuck, had I gone too far? Maybe I shouldn’t have taken her from behind. I should’ve just let her go on top and set the pace.
I crouched down, placing my hands on her thighs, trying my hardest to get a look at her face. Where was the confident girl I’d been having sex with? She was folded in on herself, looking so small in my jacket. Until it clicked.
‘Don’t do that, baby.’ I tucked a curtain of hair behind her ear, exposing the shame etched into her face.
Honey blinked up at me. ‘Do what?’
‘Regret this.’ I sat beside her and took her hand in mine, brushing my fingers against hers.
‘Stay,’ she whispered.
My heart gave a lurch and I examined her hand as if it were the part of her which fascinated me the most. ‘I can’t.’
‘If not forever, then just for tonight? With me?’
I turned to face her, a lump forming in my throat as I looked at the vulnerability in her eyes. She’d looked at me like that before. Seven years ago, when I’d called off our engagement.
‘I’ll stay as long as you want until that sun rises.’
Honey cuddled in next to me, her head on my chest. For the rest of the night, we sat there, staring up at the stars, talking about old times, Duke’s snores moving around us. When I felt her body grow limp with sleep, I held her a little tighter, placing a kiss on her head as I laid us back. It was surreal, having her back in my arms, back in my ute at View Point. Our bodies had changed, but we still knew each other like time had been on pause. I looked down at her sleeping face, my heart squeezing painfully as I rolled my body to shield her from a gentle breeze.
‘Believe me, if I could stay, I would.’