Chapter Five
J ulian strode purposefully into the lobby of the children’s hospital. Brynn had been tight-lipped after she’d come back from Sam’s house the other night, and while he respected her loyalty to her friend, it was no less frustrating not to know why the woman who’d gotten so deep under his skin wanted nothing to do with him. Still, Brynn had told him what was important—that Sam cared. She’d also told him Sam’s favorite coffee, a double shot caramel mocha with whipped cream, and her preferred sandwich shop when she actually slowed down long enough to take a break. Julian had never pursued a woman before. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing, so he went with his gut, and the nearly overwhelming need to make sure Sam was okay and not burning herself out. To make sure she was eating and getting some rest.
Brynn also let it slip that Sam worked on the fifth floor on Wednesdays, so he walked straight to the elevator and pressed the button. The silver doors reflected his appearance showing the result of many poor nights of sleep. The elevator bell chimed and the doors slid open. When he reached the floor, he approached the desk, and the man behind the counter leaned back in his chair to look up at him.
“May I help you?” He angled his body and typed something into the computer.
“I’m dropping off lunch for my friend Sam Campbell. Can you make sure she gets it?”
“I can’t confirm if that person works here, but if they do, we’ll let them know.”
The protector in Julian fucking loved that the hospital didn’t outwardly share details on their employees. “Appreciate it.” He slid the brown paper bag and the coffee over the counter and turned to leave, taking the elevator to the main floor before walking to his truck. He’d been upset when Sam had left his apartment, but he should’ve let her know she was welcome to stay. Should’ve been honest about the intense connection he was experiencing. He was the one who’d told her he had nothing to give. The realization sucked, but this was on him. So, along with the turkey sandwich with extra pickles, he’d left her his phone number and email. He wasn’t sure what made him doodle a caricature in the corner of the note. He hadn’t drawn since he was a kid. His teachers had either complained about his relentless urge to draw during class or encouraged him to pursue a career in art. He’d always wanted to be in the Navy, though. A SEAL. His father had been in the Army, and while he was proud as hell of the man, he’d always wanted to be on a Special Forces team. Maybe it was because he had something to prove. Wanted to show his mother and grandmother he wasn’t all the bad things they said about him.
Julian had just started his truck when his phone beeped. When he glanced down at the unknown number, he grabbed up the phone and typed in the password.
Brynn has a big mouth. Thank you for the sandwich and coffee. Most of all, though, thank you for the drawing. Really needed the smile it brought.
He frowned and typed out a quick text.
Rough day?
Right away, three dots popped up on the screen. She was typing out a message.
The most heartbreaking kind.
The fact that Sam had responded to him so fast should’ve told him something was wrong. He was sure there were a number of heartbreaking things one could witness in a children’s hospital. His gut clenched.
When do you leave?
The next text came in almost immediately.
Not until five o’clock.
He glanced at the digital clock on his dashboard.
I’d like to see you…make sure you’re okay. Doesn’t matter when or where.
One minute turned into three. He’d pushed too hard, too fast. Damn. Now she’d not only had a horrific day, but he’d probably creeped her out, too. He sucked in a long breath and added her phone number to his contacts. Just when he was getting ready to pull out of the parking space, his phone beeped again.
I’ll be okay. Really. Thank you again.
Her text unsettled him. It was so…final, but it was clear she appreciated the gesture. He mulled over a response. He’d already been to the base this morning and gone through their daily exercise regime, then they’d had a meeting with their commander to discuss new developments in a potential crisis situation overseas. Now he was done for the day, and he wanted, no he needed, to make sure Sam was okay. Brynn said she had some demons. Hadn’t had much nurturing as a child and was a loner as an adult. Why a woman as sweet and kind as Sam didn’t have a boatload of friends was difficult to comprehend, but it wasn’t lost on him that she didn’t expect much of others and she thought of herself as broken.
During their chance run-in at Brynn and Ransom’s she’d told him the night they were together he’d made her feel whole. And when he’d ordered that slice of cake from the diner and stuck a candle in it, she’d almost cried. Sam was too good a person not to have someone care for her well-being, and he wanted to be the man who could give her that.
He wasn’t sure when his feelings had shifted from being wary and distrustful of all women to one hundred percent certain that Sam deserved more than what she expected out of life, to trusting that she was a decent human being who didn’t have a deceitful bone in her body. He took one last look at his phone before pulling out of the hospital’s parking lot and driving down the street to the grocery store. For the first time since he was a boy, frantically trying to watch over his sister after his mother walked out, leaving them alone for weeks before their grandmother checked on them, he was eager to take care of someone else.
*
At exactly five o’clock, Julian was back in the parking lot of the children’s hospital. After another fifteen minutes, Sam walked out of the front doors, guitar case in hand. Even from a distance, he could tell it had been a rough day. Her shoulders were slumped, and he bet if he got closer, her cheeks would be stained with tears. Julian got out of his truck, taking long strides toward her. Sam’s head was lowered as she moved, which was not safe in a busy parking lot, making him even more happy he’d come back. She stopped at her beat-up silver sedan, pausing to put her guitar case down and fish around her bag for her keys.
“Hey,” Julian said quietly, not wanting to scare her.
Sam tensed, then lifted her head and met his eyes. The raw, fresh pain in her gaze was staggering. Forgetting everything, he strode forward and pulled her into his arms. She didn’t fight it. Instead, she buried her head against his chest as silent sobs racked her body.
“That’s it, Starburst. I’ve got you,” he murmured. Holding her against him felt so goddamn right. After months of angst, of wanting to crawl out of his own skin because he’d lost something precious before he could truly discover it, a sense of calm settled over him. This was right where he was supposed to be. Hell, he didn’t know what would happen between them in the long run, but right now he was thanking the stars that he’d been given the chance to be here for her at this vulnerable moment. He’d never stopped to think that an emotional connection could be as satisfying as a physical one, but he recognized now that was how Sam was different. For whatever reason, he’d never felt wary or distrustful of her, which was how he typically approached new people. From the start, things had been easy between them, like one friend looking out for another. Friends that had really fucking fantastic, explosive sex.
They could’ve been standing outside for a minute or an hour. He was content to hold her as she sobbed into the material of his shirt. “God, I’m so sorry.” She sniffled, then her shoulders bounced with a hiccup. “I wanted to hold it together until I got home. Maybe into the car at least.”
“I’m sorry it was a terrible day, but I’m glad I was here when you needed a giant tissue.”
She stepped back and her gaze fell to the large wet spot covering the right side of his chest, and to his surprise, she laughed. Something swelled in his chest. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d made someone laugh…well, except Ransom’s teenage brother, Jacob. That kid found his sarcasm and generally grumpy disposition hilarious. Jacob hadn’t been amused when Sam had scrambled out of his house the other day, though. He’d let Julian know just how he felt, using his new device to call him a butthead. Sam had sobered, but her laugh still rang clear in his mind.
“Why are you here?” Sam’s tone wasn’t accusatory, just curious. She hadn’t questioned why he was standing in the parking lot earlier. He’d expected her to be much more standoffish, but Sam trusted him on visceral level, even if her heart might not yet.
“I wanted to make sure you were all right.” He couldn’t stop his hand from reaching out and tucking a stray strand of pale hair behind her ear.
She drew in a breath. “I will be.” Her eyes glassed over again.
“Come home with me.” Shit. His voice had gone gruff, making his statement sound suggestive.
“As much as I desperately want to wipe my brain clean right now and have an hour or so to forget, it’s not a good idea…” Her voice trailed off and she looked away.
“Look at me.” With gentle fingers he lifted her chin. “I want you to come home with me so I can feed you and pour you a glass of wine. There’s also Blue Moon in the refrigerator if you prefer. We can watch television and unwind or, if it helps, talk about your shit day. Then I’ll walk you out to your car and follow you home to make sure you get there okay. What we won’t be doing is going into the bedroom.”
Her face scrunched in confusion and then she swallowed hard. “Uh…um, okay.”
She was killing him. “We both know we’re more than compatible on a physical level, but you know what stands out to me most about that night?”
She shook her head.
“The breaks we took in between the physical. Getting to know you. Making you giggle until you snorted. Feeling you snuggled against me. There is so much more between us than just chemistry, even though what we shared is hands down the best I’ve ever had, so until you know down to your soul that I’m spending time with you because I like who you are, respect you, and enjoy learning everything there is to know about you, sex is off the table.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I do not snort when I laugh.”
A deep chuckle rumbled out of his throat. “Babe, you do.” He rested his hands on her outer arms. “It’s fucking adorable.”
“There are things you’re not going to like about me. It won’t look good, you being seen with me.” She glanced behind her shoulder as a vehicle drove through the lot. There was a steady stream of patients and families trickling in and out through the automatic doors of the hospital.
“No one’s ever worried about my reputation before. It’s…sweet.” The urge to touch her, to give her comfort was so overwhelming he shoved his hands in his pockets. She wasn’t going to believe that he wanted to focus on getting to know her if he couldn’t even keep her hands off of her in a populated parking lot.
“I’m not being dramatic.” She pinned him with a look that was almost pleading. As though she was silently begging him to walk away. “Getting involved with me…it won’t be worth it.”
His jaw clenched. He hated that she thought so little of herself while simultaneously making him want to beat the person who made her feel like less. “Why don’t you let me decide who’s worth my time and who’s not. Now go ahead and get in your car. You can follow me back to the apartment.”
She stared at him a moment longer and then got into the car and buckled her seat belt. She put her keys in the ignition and started the car.
“See you in a few minutes, yeah?”
“Okay. If you’re sure about this.”
“Never been surer.” He started to step away when a grinding noise churned through her vehicle. He turned around and knocked on the window. She had to crank it down manually. It really was an old car, and he didn’t like the thought of her driving something that looked like it was about to choke and die at any moment. “Did you just shift into reverse?”
“Yes, why?”
“Does it always make that noise?”
She didn’t quite meet his eyes as a flush worked its way up her cheeks. “Once in a while. I haven’t had a chance to get it looked at. Is something wrong with the battery?”
“No. Try to back up a bit.” There was no way she was driving that death trap to his apartment, but he wanted to confirm what he suspected was wrong.
“I’m pressing the gas, but it’s not budging.” A strangled noise came from the back of her throat.
“Okay, kill the engine. We can call a tow from my truck. I’ll take you home later tonight.” She put the car back into park and stopped the engine, lips pinched together.
“A tow?” Her voice shook as she asked, “Do you know what’s wrong with it?”
“Your transmission is shot.” He pulled open the driver’s-side door so she could get out, but her hands still gripped the wheel.
“How long do you think that will take to fix? I have to get back and forth to the hospital and clients’ homes.”
“Won’t be worth it to replace.” He leaned in and unbuckled her seat belt, the scent of raspberries swirled in vanilla hitting his nostrils, making him think back to bare skin and frantic touches. His cock twitched beneath his jeans. “You’ll be better off getting a new car.” He stepped back, giving her space to climb out while reining in his intense reaction to her. “You okay, Starburst?” he asked when she didn’t move to follow him.
“This car’s paid off already, and I…” Sam swallowed hard and some of the color had drained from her face. Her hands were still white-knuckled on the steering wheel.
“You what?”
“I—nothing.” She got stiffly out of the car and closed the door. The vehicle really didn’t look like it should be on the road as it was, but her reaction worried him. Maybe the car held sentimental value or maybe she didn’t have extra cash to afford a car payment. Either way, it didn’t seem like the typical stress of a car breakdown. Maybe the strain of her day at the hospital combined with the news about her vehicle was too much.
“Don’t worry about the car. Let’s go back to my place, and I’ll call for someone to come get it.”
“Thank you.” Her voice was so hollow, the words were almost lost to him. Brynn had told him Sam was a proud person, used to doing things on her own, not depending on others, but she gave in to his offer for help. He had a feeling that her easy acceptance to call for a tow had more to do with her reaching her breaking threshold than it was about trusting him. His gut pitched when he thought about some stranger trying to help her or offering her a ride when they spotted her broken-down car. She probably would’ve called a cab and gone inside to wait, but he’d seen too many horrible things in his lifetime to discount hidden dangers.
Sam was with him now, and he was almost too eager to get her back into his space and help her unwind. If someone told him two months ago that he was going to ignore his cynicism and attempt to welcome a woman into his life, he would’ve laughed in their face. He was either making the worst mistake of his life or the best decision. Only time would tell.