Chapter Twenty-Two
Dear Diary,
I left school today – just like that. Done.
I start my personal training apprenticeship in a few weeks, but right now, I just feel…
weird. Ren left too, and everyone’s freaking out over what he’s going to do.
Liam’s already working for his dad at HBC, so no one questions him.
But with Ren? It’s like they expect nothing from him.
It makes me so angry how much they underestimate him.
He got the highest art grade in the whole year.
He’s so talented. And not just that – he’s driven.
If he wanted to, he could do something extraordinary.
Something creative. But even if he doesn’t, that’s fine, too.
Ren says he wants to work in a restaurant, save money, and travel.
Everyone acts like it’s typical Ren – like he’s just avoiding responsibility – but I don’t see it that way.
He knows what he wants and he’s actually going for it.
I wish I could do something adventurous like that, but…
I’m too much of a homebody. Or maybe that’s just an excuse.
Sometimes, I wonder if I hold myself back because I’m scared of doing anything out of the box. Mum’s always worried about things that feel risky, and maybe I’ve just inherited that.
We’ve got a few weeks just to chill, and he asked if I wanted to see a gig with him on Saturday – just us. And I thought, maybe now school is over… maybe we’d become more than friends.
But maybe I’m reading too much into it.
Lydia
We tugged dry clothes over our wet legs, and I giggled when Ren hopped around on one foot, wrestling his jeans back on.
‘Turn around,’ he laughed, breathless. ‘This is not part of the sexy show I promised.’
‘I like seeing behind the scenes,’ I shot back, grinning. The comment earned me a playful pinch on my bum.
Once we were dressed enough not to give the other guests a heart attack, we hurried back towards the hotel, Ren’s hand squeezing mine.
A giggle bubbled up in my throat. Something about it felt stupidly exhilarating – childish, reckless.
Like sneaking out when we were grounded, as if we were getting away with something we shouldn’t.
We slipped down the path, under the canopy, past door after door, my pulse beating in my ears.
Ren grinned as we headed towards his room.
I’d decided, after the call with Niall – and after saying every messy thing I’d kept locked up – that I was done waiting. I was done holding back from him.
We came to a stop outside Room 401, Ren’s room. And he turned to me, suddenly looking like a younger, more unsure version of himself. A version I’d seen years before. I pushed away a wet strand of his hair, and he leaned into my palm.
He started, voice low, careful. ‘I know I said all of that in the loch. But it’s a big day tomorrow, so I understand if—’
I ran my hand along his jaw, fingers trailing over the stubble before gripping it firmly, tilting his face towards mine. The way his breath hitched sent a thrill through me. I had his full attention.
Good.
I let my thumb brush over his bottom lip, teasing, before leaning in to whisper, ‘I’m done waiting, Lawrence. So tell me. Are you going to let me go back to my room, where I can take care of myself, or are you going to invite me in and fuck me senseless, like you promised?’
Ren’s breath hitched, his eyes darkening as they flicked to my lips.
I turned, as if I was going to walk away. ‘Or the pub at the hotel is busy, so I’m sure I could find someone to help me out—’
Ren was on me in an instant, pressing me against the wall.
‘You don’t need to look for someone else to solve a problem I created, Lydia,’ Ren whispered and I shivered.
‘I can take care of the ache. What would happen if I touched your pussy right now? Right out here where anyone could see us. Would I find you wet for me?’
‘Ren—’ I smiled, sounding breathy.
I loved that I could get a rise out of him like this. Our friendship had been light and fun. But this felt charged and competitive. As if we both wanted to make the other suffer with ache.
‘Yeah, I bet I’d find you soaking for me. I bet I’d only need a few touches to get you there.’ He kissed my throat and whispered into my skin, ‘God, you are so fucking sexy.’
I took the keys out of his hands and opened the door, stepping inside, the heat of Ren’s body following me.
The room was dark, but I could see a small double bed, then another door leading to an en suite.
Blue and yellow tartan accents were littered on the cushions and curtains.
It was homey and lived in. As soon as Ren shut the door and locked it, I reached for the hem of my pink long-sleeved T-shirt and peeled it off, letting it drop to the floor.
I still wore my underwear, a white bra and thong, but the air hit my skin anyway, cool against the warmth of the room, against the heat of his gaze.
And even though he had already seen me completely naked this evening, that didn’t stop Ren’s eyes dragging over me, slowly, lingering on my breasts, still a little damp from the loch. He was memorising every inch.
His throat bobbed. ‘God, you’re perfect.’
I stepped closer, feeling the heat roll off him. I tilted my chin up to meet his dark brown eyes.
‘Then don’t waste any more time.’
Then he was on me.
His hand in my hair, his lips on mine, firm at first, then softening as his tongue grazed my lower lip, making my stomach flip over.
I wrapped his T-shirt in my fist, pulling him towards me until the back of my thighs hit the edge of the bed.
Ren didn’t push me on to it yet. No, he took his time kissing his way down my neck, giving a light bite to my collarbone, and lower.
I arched as his tongue swirled on the edge of my breast, agonisingly teasing, which was so Ren.
I went to lie on the bed behind me, but he stopped me with a hand around my waist.
‘Ah, ah.’ He clicked his tongue. ‘When I want you on the bed, you’ll be there. Laid out for me. Like my perfect feast.’
‘Ren,’ I groaned. ‘Too slow.’
‘It’s been two years since I’ve had you all to myself.’ He smiled, a glint in his eyes that told me he would make me suffer in the most delicious way. ‘I can wait a little longer. Can you?’
He gently pulled the strap to my bra, kissing the little red mark it left and then lower and lower. He pulled the bra down, but instead of licking, biting, and kissing, he blew a puff of air, making me wriggle.
‘Ren,’ I moaned.
He was playing. I was like a piece of chocolate melting on his tongue. I hated it. I loved it.
‘That’s it.’ He gave a wicked smile. ‘I want to hear those moans, Sunshine.’
His tongue swirled across my breasts finally, and I arched into his mouth, my head thrown back.
It was the most delicious, infuriating sensation, doubled by the graze of his teeth.
Ren finally unclipped my bra and drew one nipple into his mouth while he palmed the other.
It was impossible, almost painful, how desperate I was for him.
I clawed at his clothes. ‘Off.’
‘Yes, ma’am.’
Ren grabbed the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it off in one motion.
My hands traced the tattoos – the sun and moon that represented us.
I placed a kiss there, and my hand drifted over his abs.
He tensed and flexed. And I don’t know how I hadn’t noticed it before, when I’d seen him outside the showers, or that night in the tent.
His stomach was defined, more muscular than I’d noticed then.
My eyes narrowed. ‘Have you been working out? Where? With who?’
Ren laughed, a lovely, low sound. ‘Are you jealous of my gym buddy, Lydia?’
He took a step closer, pulling us flush together. My breasts pressed into his chest. Ren’s lips grazed my ear, his palms across my waist.
‘I’ll only go to the gym with you from now on, love. Happy?’
Ren grinned as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. The gym was my love language, and he knew it.
‘Maybe.’
‘Can I make you even happier now, please?’
‘Yes.’
Ren’s eyes grazed over me again, ‘Struggling to know where to start.’
‘Well, I can help with that.’
I shifted us around and pushed Ren on to the bed, feeling empowered by his gaze and the way he looked at me like I was a goddess.
He leaned back on his elbows, stomach flexing and dark hair ruffled from where I’d pulled at it.
His eyes were molten and kept tracking my movements as if he couldn’t – wouldn’t – miss anything.
He looked like a god of debauchery and sex.
I undid the button on his jeans. Ren cocked an eyebrow when I shrugged them off him with ease.
‘You’re good at that.’
‘Jealous?’ I raised an eyebrow, quoting him.
‘Always.’
I pulled back Ren’s black boxers, exposing his hard cock. I slid my hand up his thick thighs to tease him, running my hands near, but nowhere near enough. His cock twitched, desperate for attention. I laid a kiss there.
‘Lydia.’ He breathed.
‘Now who’s the tease?’ I smiled before pulling him out and giving him a single, hard stroke.
A noise reverberated through Ren’s throat. It was desperate and needy. I smiled and shifted so I was on my knees between his legs. I leaned down and kept my eyes on Ren as I opened my mouth and swiped a tongue over the head of his cock.
‘Fuck, Lydia.’ He groaned.
I swirled my tongue again, making Ren’s eyes roll back, and I sucked a bit harder this time. Then, once he got used to that teasing, and watched me in rapture, I took him deeper, humming as he swore again, and wrapped his fist around my ponytail.
‘Fuck. That feels so good. You feel so good.’ Ren groaned, and I took him deeper. ‘Look at you. Taking my cock deep in your mouth. God!’
As if he couldn’t take it any more, his head rolled back, his Adam’s apple bobbing. I sucked him harder. His eyes rolled back in his head. I bobbed again, but took him deeper this time.