Chapter 26
‘Are you sure you want to come in with me?’ Alison cast a sideways glance at Mac as he walked beside her, car keys rattling in his hand.
It had taken them ages to find a parking space and they’d driven round and round the various areas of the hospital, until they’d finally found a free space in the very spot they’d first checked. Typical!
Mac had got out of the car and seemed to take it for granted that he was going inside with her, which made Alison very nervous.
‘Of course. You don’t want to go in there by yourself,’ he said, nodding to the smart new building where the diabetic unit was housed. ‘Anyway, you might be in there ages. You’ll need someone to talk to. And so will I.’
She nodded, determined to look as if none of this bothered her at all. She took a steadying breath and pushed open the door, trying to stay calm as she headed to the reception desk, despite the weird hospital smell and the sight of NHS uniforms.
The receptionist directed her to take a seat in the waiting room, and she and Mac found two chairs next to each other and sat down.
She wanted to make conversation with him, she really did, but she was too nervous. Her mouth was dry, and she felt sick. Every time a nurse came out and called another name her stomach lurched with dread.
‘How are you feeling?’ Mac asked gently.
‘Fine.’ She meant to sound bright and cheery, but her voice cracked, and it sounded as if she was about to choke instead.
He held her hand in his, holding her steady, reassuring her without a word.
‘Alison Parker?’
‘Oh, God!’
‘It’s okay,’ Mac said. ‘I’ll be right here. Don’t worry.’
‘You can come through if you like,’ the nurse told him. ‘Not into the room, but there’s another waiting area nearby and you can sit with her while the eye drops take effect.’
‘You don’t have to,’ Alison said weakly.
‘Don’t be daft. I want to.’
Still holding hands, they followed the nurse through the double doors.
‘Just in there, Alison.’ The nurse nodded towards another set of doors. ‘Follow me,’ she told Mac, ‘and I’ll show you where you can wait.’
Reluctantly, he let go of Alison’s hand. ‘You’ve got this,’ he murmured, and she nodded, because she didn’t want to look like a total wimp even though she knew she was.
Another nurse was waiting inside for her, all youth and vitality and cheeriness. She beamed at Alison.
‘Don’t look so worried! Is this your first retinal screening?’
Alison nodded. ‘I–I’ve heard it’s really painful.’
‘Stings a bit,’ the nurse said. ‘Probably like getting shampoo in your eyes or something. But it wears off very quickly, honestly. The trick is to blink really rapidly as soon as the drops go in.’
‘I don’t like anything near my eyes,’ Alison admitted.
‘Oh heck, me neither,’ the nurse said, laughing. ‘Don’t fret, Alison. You’ll be fine, and it’ll be over before you know it.’
After checking a few details with her and getting her to read some letters from an eye chart, the nurse stood over her and administered the drops. Immediately Alison could feel the effect.
‘Blink, blink, blink,’ the nurse instructed, and Alison blinked for all she was worth. Before she knew it the stinging faded, and it was done.
‘There you go,’ the nurse said brightly. ‘Now, you just need to go through to the other waiting area and give it a while for the drops to work. You might find your vision goes a bit blurry. Did you bring sunglasses, by the way?’
Alison nodded. ‘Although it’s not too bright today, is it?’
‘You’ll need them, believe me,’ the nurse said. ‘Turn right when you go out of here, then right again and you’ll see all the chairs. Someone will fetch you when you’re ready for the screening.’
Alison nodded and thanked her. She found the seating area almost immediately and was relieved to see Mac patiently waiting for her. Two other people were sitting together, talking quietly to each other.
Mac smiled and got to his feet when he saw her, guiding her into the chair even though her vision seemed perfectly fine at that point. ‘How was it?’
‘Not as bad as I feared,’ she admitted.
‘I didn’t hear the screams,’ he said, winking at her. ‘You were obviously very brave.’
‘Hmm.’ She felt quite wrung out from all the stress and relief, and slumped in her chair, not able to chat.
Luckily, he seemed to understand that, and sat quietly with her, not attempting to engage her in conversation.
By the time she was called again, her vision was a little blurry, and she followed the nurse into the examination room a little unsteadily.
The screening process itself was simple enough, and not that dissimilar to screenings she’d had at an optician’s. There were a few flashes as photographs were taken of the back of her eyes and then it was done.
‘See you in a year,’ the technician said.
Alison wrinkled her nose. ‘If I reverse the diabetes and I’m not on any medication, will I still have to come?’
The technician laughed. ‘Afraid so. We’ve got you in our sights now, so to speak. You’ll get an appointment next year, and then if everything goes well it will be every two years.’
Alison sighed. ‘Fair enough.’
Mac was hovering outside, and he slipped his arm through hers. ‘All okay?’ he whispered.
She nodded. ‘That part was fine. I just can’t see that well. It’s a bit blurry still.’
‘Don’t worry. I won’t let you bump into any doors.’
As they headed through reception to the main doors, someone pushed it open, and she winced.
‘I forgot to put my sunglasses on!’ She rummaged in her bag and found them, thankfully slipping them on. ‘Everything looks way too bright!’
Mac led her to the car and made sure she was settled, even though she assured him she was perfectly fine.
‘So,’ he said, as they drove away, ‘another thing ticked off the list. Well done!’
‘Yeah, I’ve got to admit I feel miles better knowing that’s out of the way,’ she said.
He glanced at her but said nothing. He didn’t have to. She knew perfectly well what he was thinking.
‘On Monday I’ll book that smear,’ she said, feeling a sudden warmth and pride as he gave her an approving look. ‘Another thing ticked off then, isn’t it?’
‘You’re brilliant,’ he told her. ‘I’m so proud of you.’
‘Thanks, Mac,’ she said softly. ‘For everything. I don’t know if I’d have had the nerve if you hadn’t encouraged me. And thanks for bringing me, too.’
‘No worries at all.’
She hesitated. ‘Would it be cheeky if I asked you to stop at my house? I need to check if I’ve had any post and make sure everything’s okay.’
‘Of course. You’ll have to direct me.’
Her vision was blurry, but not so blurry she couldn’t see where she was going. Around a quarter of an hour after leaving the hospital they pulled up outside Alison’s house.
‘Would you like to come in?’ she asked.
Mac gazed over at the house then back to her. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I might bump into things,’ she said with a grin. ‘I need you to guide me.’
He gave her a knowing look. ‘Hmm. You might be milking this a bit now. Come on then, let’s go.’
It felt weird unlocking the door and walking into her house with Mac at her side.
She waited for the feeling of guilt to kick in.
After all, this had been Drew’s house, too.
But strangely there was none of that. What there was, however, was the realisation that this place no longer felt homely or comfortable.
She had the oddest feeling that she didn’t belong here any more.
Mac bent down and scooped up a handful of letters and handed them to her as he glanced around the hallway.
‘Nice house,’ he said. ‘Nice area, too.’
‘Come through,’ she said. ‘I’ll make us a cup of tea.’
‘I think I’ll make us a cup of tea,’ he said firmly. ‘I don’t want any accidents with boiling kettles while you’re still wandering around with those sunglasses on.’
She laughed and removed the sunglasses, then led him through to the kitchen, where French doors looked out over the small garden.
‘Oh,’ Mac said, as he filled the kettle at the sink, ‘I see what you mean. Not much scope out there for your gardening plans, is there?’
The garden looked even tinier now she was used to the huge garden at Watersmeet. Surrounded by a six-foot wooden fence, it was quite depressing really, despite the border full of daffodils that had flowered in her absence.
‘Not really,’ she said, somewhat distracted as she noticed one particular letter that she’d been waiting for. She tore it open as Mac flicked the kettle on and said, ‘Where do you keep your cups?’
Alison’s eyes scanned the letter, her heart thumping with anxiety and dread. Then she let out a sigh of relief, clutching the piece of paper to her chest.
Mac raised an eyebrow. ‘Good news?’
‘The best. My bowel test results.’ She waved the letter at him. ‘No problems.’
His face widened in a smile. ‘You did the test?’
‘I did.’ She’d been too scared to mention it to anyone, even Rosie. Scared she might jinx it. But now she felt free and light as a feather.
‘Come upstairs,’ she said impulsively, dropping the mail on the table and holding out her hand.
He stared at her, and she laughed. ‘I mean to look at the view. It’s why we bought the house really.’
Carefully, she led him up the stairs, hoping she’d left her bedroom in a tidy state.
Thankfully, she had, and she led him straight to the glass door at the far end of the room, where a Juliet balcony gave them a view of the footpath below and the dock behind the house.
Beyond that lay the glorious Humber Estuary.
‘Oh, wow,’ Mac said. ‘I wasn’t expecting that!’
‘I know. Isn’t it brilliant? I always wanted to move back to Kelsea Sands but Drew’s work and my work were in West Hull, and you know what the traffic can be like.
And then there was the little problem of properties hardly ever coming up for sale in the village.
But this view – it meant I could look out and see the Humber and know that I wasn’t so far from home after all.
The water was flowing towards Kelsea Sands, and it made me feel connected to my family.
And further down in the other direction is Hessle Foreshore, and Jenna lives there with the twins.
Not on the foreshore but close by. Somehow, we’re all together.
’ She gave an embarrassed laugh. ‘I expect that sounds stupid.’
‘No,’ he said. ‘No, it doesn’t. Not at all.’
They gazed out at the river. ‘Just up there,’ he said wonderingly, ‘is Watersmeet. That’s so strange.’
She nodded. ‘I love the Humber,’ she told him. ‘It’s so amazing. The Ouse and the Trent and the Don all feed into it—’
‘And the River Hull,’ he reminded her.
‘Naturally. I love the River Hull, too. It’s one of the things I do enjoy about this city. There’s water everywhere! All these channels criss-crossing the place, and you can’t get from one side of the city to the other without crossing a bridge over the river. Isn’t that fabulous?’
‘Not so much in traffic jams, or when one of the bridges is up to let a ship through, or being repaired,’ he said, his eyes twinkling.
‘But I know what you mean. You’re like me.
You love being near the water. Even when I was in Oxfordshire I had to be beside the river.
It’s so soothing and calming, isn’t it? Even the sea, which is quite tempestuous at times.
We’re lucky at Kelsea Sands to have both. ’
‘It puts everything into perspective. No matter what happens, the North Sea tide comes in and out, and the Humber keeps flowing. When you look at it, it makes you feel like – I don’t know – that somehow, everything will be all right.
And at the same time, like none of it really matters anyway, because we’re just temporary little blips on the landscape, and the water will be there long after we’re gone. ’
She shook her head. ‘Sorry. Did that sound depressing?’
‘No, not at all. It’s something I’ve thought myself. In fact, I find it quite a comforting thought.’
He smiled at her, and she smiled back, realising that he understood what she was talking about and she had no need to justify herself or apologise.
‘So, three things ticked off,’ he said.
‘I’m getting there, aren’t I?’
‘You’re amazing.’
There was a long silence, then, ‘Tea,’ he said, half-regretfully.
‘Oh yes. That kettle will have boiled by now,’ she agreed.
She closed the balcony door and took his hand. Something had shifted between them. She could sense it, and it made her happier than she’d felt in a long, long time.