Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Ani
The next week, we took Rosie for her one-month pediatric appointment with Helen.
Adam had the day off, so he came too. Right after we got her into her car seat, we smelled something nasty, which required a quick diaper and full-outfit change.
I was afraid that we were going to be late.
But Adam made getting her into and out of her car seat and lugging the diaper bag and the stroller look easy.
By the time we finally got to the office, Rosie had passed out.
All the confusion and chaos of managing a newborn felt more manageable and not as big a deal with Adam nearby.
Entering my office felt a little weird. I already missed work, but I was also relieved not to be here, and grateful to have the time to focus only on Rosie, if that made sense.
I saw no sign of Dylan, but Pen had let me know that my patients sent congratulations and were appreciative of Dylan’s chill style.
“Helen had to run to see a patient in the hospital,” Edith said from behind the front desk. “But Pen’s got time to do Rosalie’s exam. Sound okay?”
My heart fell. Helen was a great clinician, even if she was ornery. I was afraid Pen would raise a whole bunch of questions that would lead to a lot of worry and testing. Basically, I didn’t exactly trust her to do a realistic assessment, even though I felt that Rosie was doing great.
Fifteen minutes later, we were settled in an exam room with a colorful flower garden painted on the walls. Penelope looked over Rosie’s chart, and Adam cradled Rosie in his arms.
So far so good. Except it was strange for me not being in Pen’s place.
“Her birth weight was seven pounds, thirteen ounces,” Pen said. “Today, at one month old, she’s eight pounds, ten ounces.”
“Is she growing well?” Adam asked, sending an anxious glance from me to Pen. “Are we feeding her enough?”
“Her weight is excellent,” Pen said with a smile. “And she’s filling out nicely.”
Adam wasn’t reassured. “Sometimes she pulls her mouth away from the bottle, and I think she’s done.” He demonstrated the bottle motion with his hands. “But do you think I should offer her more?”
Pen’s voice was calm and confident. “I think she’s telling you she’s done, and you’re listening. So great job.”
Adam pointed to the baby’s face. “You don’t think she’s a little orange-y, do you?”
Pen craned her neck from her chair. “Not at all.”
“Oh, that reminds me,” Adam said, getting up. “Would you take a look at these little white things on her face?”
Pen walked over, even though it wasn’t time for the exam yet. “Those pearly white bumps are called milia, and they’re dead skin cells trapped under the skin. No treatment. They’re a normal newborn thing.”
I was a little startled to see Worrywart Adam, who’d obviously been saving his questions like a squirrel hoards acorns in its cheeks.
Pen started typing into our floating computer with a big arm. “How are her poops?”
Adam laughed. Pen lifted a brow. “Was that funny?”
Adam’s laughter died. “It’s just...are you serious? I mean, the questions you people ask.”
“Well, we people want to make sure that babies are thriving,” Pen explained.
“Stools can provide clues to liver or bile duct issue, diarrhea, that kind of thing.” As she prepared to type, she asked, “So how would you describe them? Corn on the cob, sausage, rabbit pellets, gravy, porridge, or chicken nuggets?”
He considered that carefully. “They look kind of pasty, kind of tan…like…peanut butter.”
“Would you agree?” Pen glanced over at me.
I would agree that it was time to move on, except then Adam said,“I thought I might have heard a murmur the other day,” Adam said. “Will you double-check me?”
“You’ve listened to her heart with your stethoscope?” I asked in an incredulous tone.
He gave a guilty shrug.
“Adam,” Penelope said, redirecting. “Have you been spending time googling things?”
“What else is there to do at three in the morning?”
“My advice is to stay off the internet. You can always call the office with questions.” Pen, probably having enough of Adam for the time being, addressed me. “How’s her schedule?”
“Her days and nights are less mixed up,” I said. “I think things are better now that I’m off. But the exhaustion is real.”
Pen looked directly at me. “Are you two co-parenting?”
That stopped me in my tracks. Adam had stayed over every night since that night a week ago when I’d nearly lost it. I’d begged him numerous times to leave and get a good night’s rest, but he never did.
I didn’t want to box him in with something we hadn’t discussed ourselves yet. “No,” I swiftly said. I didn’t want Adam to think—well, anything. Namely, that I was expecting him to parent Rosie.
“Yes,” he said at the same time.
I felt my cheeks heat up, unclear if I’d heard correctly. I finally recovered enough to start to protest, to explain, when Pen cut me off.
“Excellent.” She smiled at both of us. “Because I have suggestions.”
“We’ll take any suggestions,” Adam said. “Anything to make these nights easier.”
“Great. Decide what shift you want—8 pm to 2 a.m. or 2 a.m. to 8 a.m. The person not on duty gets earplugs and a bed far away from everywhere else. That way, you can potentially sleep five or six hours uninterrupted every night. That would help everyone in the household, including Rosie.”
Adam considered that. Nodded his head, he mumbled, “Earplugs, great idea.” Then he turned to me. “We could fix a cot up in the laundry room. That’s far enough away that one of us might actually get some rest.”
I pictured Arnold immediately finding my new bed and making himself at home—by sleeping right on top of me on a narrow cot.
That made me smile. But what really made me smile was that Adam was taking all of this to heart.
He was…involved. Present. In our lives. That meant more than any amount of sleep.
Well, okay, maybe not more than sleep, which I craved more than food. But it meant a lot.
Pen did a thorough exam, narrating to us the entire time.
I was really impressed with the way she handled everything.
“The other thing is,” Pen said, after she’d pronounced Rosie healthy, happy, and thriving, “we’ve found that physician parents tend to over-analyze everything.
I mean, we know the worst, right? And emotions get clouded when it’s your own kid.
So no treating, okay? And call us. In this practice, you’re just a mom and a dad. ”
After that wise advice sank in, we thanked her for everything. “I have one other recommendation for you,” she said.
We both looked up. “You both need time together without the baby.”
I immediately went into rational mode. “It’s really hard because—”
“You two are smart,” she said, cutting me off. Then she waved us away. “Just make it happen.”
“Pen,” I said as she was about to open the door. “Thank you. That was an amazing visit.”
She smiled broadly. “You’re welcome.” After she left us to get the baby back together, I said to Adam, “She did a stellar job. She was informative, kind, patient, and thorough. She was more confident than I’d never seen her.”
Adam snapped up Rosie’s onesie while I got her jacket ready. “I thought so too. Except I thought of a few more questions that I can email her through the chart.”
I couldn’t help smiling at his earnestness.
Pen was right, of course—about us needing time alone.
I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love in the middle of such chaos, but somehow, I’d done it.
We were both riding the wave of emotion, of adrenaline, of banding together with all hands on deck with little time to spare.
We hadn’t talked about our relationship, about us, about the future. Terrifying stuff.
As soon as Adam left to pull up the car for us, Dylan appeared at the open door. “Hey,” he said. “Can I ask you a question about a patient?”
“Sure. Of course.”
“Do you mind if I switch Jimmy Oswald’s asthma meds around a little bit?” He explained his plan, and I agreed.
I braced myself, for what, I wasn’t exactly sure. To be hit on? To be given Zen advice? I didn’t know.
“Penelope’s really something,” he said. He waved at Rosie, who flashed him a big smile.
“Yes, she is,” I agreed.
“I mean, she really cares about her patients. She’s an amazing teacher too.”
This was interesting. “How’s she doing otherwise?” I asked. “She sometimes has difficulty making the tough decisions.”
“I’m helping her work through that,” was all he said. “Listen, I—I’m all about honesty. I might have campaigned hard for this job because I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.”
Oh. I might’ve suspected it, but hearing it still threw me. I’d always thought of him as someone who lived in the moment, but got bored easily and then moved on to the next adventure. For awhile, I’d gotten swept up in that moment.
He gave a little shrug as he leaned against the exam table. “I guess I came back here because I’ve always thought of you as the one who got away.”
Oh. That was surprising. And a little sad. But I was impressed by his honesty. “Dylan, I-I’m touched. Flattered. But—”
He mercifully interrupted me. Pushing off from the exam table, he said, “But you know what? I see that you’re in love. And it looks great on you.”
I swallowed hard, feeling a little guilty to be happy. But he’d called it—I really, truly was. I gave a little nod.
He pointed a finger at me. “I’m happy for you, Ani.” I couldn’t help but smile, because I could tell that he sincerely meant it.
“And I love this practice.” Uh oh. That was a sudden switch of gears. “Pen and Helen told me that I could start incorporating baby massage classes.” His face lit up. “Hey, you need a baby massage? I’d be happy to come over and teach you both how to do it.”
He bent down to the baby’s level. “You would love it, Baby R. It would calm you right down.” He stood up and paused for a beat, regarding me honestly. “Great to see you thriving, Ani.”