Chapter 27
BLAIR
“Where are we going, Mommy?”
My son had asked me several times today where we were headed, probably because it was unusual for us to be in the car for so long.
“I told you… We’re gonna go meet Mommy’s friend again, Mr. T.”
Every time I said “Mr. T,” I laughed to myself.
Nicholas nodded. “Okay.”
I smiled as I looked back at my beautiful boy through the rearview mirror. He was such a mild-mannered child, down for almost anything. He never complained. I sometimes wondered how I’d gotten so lucky. It hadn’t been easy being a single mother, but I wouldn’t trade this life with him for anything.
“I heard he has a swing set,” I added.
Nicholas’s eyes lit up. While he loved going to the playground, a swing set was one thing we didn’t have at home. Installing one in our yard was on my long list of things to do.
By the time we finally pulled up to the house Tate had rented, I was very ready to get out of the car. It was a small, light blue, one-level home on a tree-lined residential street. I’d grown up in this general area, but I’d never been to this town before. I felt confident about our anonymity here.
Tate was sitting outside on the front steps, waiting for us.
As he stood, I was struck by how tall and strong he seemed.
Each time I laid eyes on him, I could hardly believe I’d had the pleasure of being with this man.
Today he wore black jeans, black boots, and a beige, hooded sweatshirt.
I loved his rugged, fall look. Well, I loved all of his looks.
“How long have you been waiting out here?” I asked as I exited the car.
“A little bit.” He smiled. “I got worried since it’s about a half hour after I thought I should expect you. Was there traffic?”
“No.” I shrugged. “I’m just a slow and careful driver.”
“Well, you have precious cargo. So I understand.” Tate scratched his chin. “I forgot to ask if he’s okay with dogs.”
“He loves them.”
“Good. Khloe’s inside. If you’d told me he couldn’t handle her, I would’ve figured something out.”
I opened the back door, finding Nicholas’s eyes groggy. He’d almost fallen asleep before we got here.
Tate joined me and reached out his hand. “Hey, buddy. Do you remember me?”
Nicholas hesitantly took it, but shook his head no. I was pretty sure he was just messing with Tate.
I chuckled. “He’s a little tired from the ride. Makes him cranky and shy.”
“That’s okay. We’ll wake you up.” Tate winked. “I have snacks.”
“Oh good. I’m hungry,” I teased.
Tate grinned as our eyes locked. Then he gave me a once-over. I wasn’t sure if he’d meant that to be obvious. “Don’t worry. I’ll feed you, too,” he said, a hint of seductiveness in his tone.
Was this my imagination? It was so hard not to flirt with him. That had been the case from the moment I’d met the guy.
Nicholas held my hand as we entered the house. I sensed Tate’s presence behind me right before I felt his hand at the small of my back, guiding me inside. It sent a zap of electricity through my starving body.
Tate’s German shepherd immediately ran to greet us, her paws scratching against the floor.
“Calm down,” Tate said as he grabbed her by the leash. “Nicholas, this is Khloe.”
Nicholas reached his little hand out to pet the big dog, who calmed down fairly quickly. Tate smiled as he looked on, still holding Khloe’s leash.
After only a few minutes, Khloe seemed used to us being here. She also listened very well to Tate’s commands.
“You hungry, little guy?” he asked our boy.
Nicholas nodded eagerly. He was back to his normal, vibrant self now that he’d had a little time out of the car.
Tate waved us farther into the house. “Let’s head to the kitchen, then.”
My eyes widened when I got a look at the kitchen counter. Tate had laid out dozens of snacks, everything from Cheez-Its to Teddy Grahams to Oreos.
“Oh my God.” I laughed. “Did you rob the snack aisle?”
“Hit the market while you were on the road. I never asked you what he likes and didn’t want to bother you while you were driving, so I just got a little of everything. I know it’s a lot of sugar. But I wanted to impress him the first time. I’ll tone it down, eventually.”
“Something tells me you won’t. That’s always been your thing.” I winked.
He returned a flirtatious grin.
Yeah. It can’t be my imagination.
Tate prepared a plate of snacks for Nicholas and sat across from him at the table, watching him eat like it was a spectator sport. And Nicholas was in his glory as the dog sat at the base of his chair, waiting for the crumbs that would inevitably fall.
When Tate finally pulled his gaze from Nicholas, he turned to me. “What can I get you?”
“Got anything to drink besides juice boxes?”
“I have water, seltzer…wine. Although, I doubt you want to drink at three in the afternoon.”
“Look at you offering me alcohol.”
“Well, you are legal now.”
“Seltzer sounds great, actually.”
He stood. “I have mandarin orange, lime, strawberry, or grapefruit.”
“True to form, you just get them all, huh?” I shrugged. “Surprise me.”
Tate walked over to the fridge, opened a can, and poured it into a glass. He handed it to me, and when I sipped, I tasted lime.
“Thank you,” I said, fighting the urge to burp after drinking the carbonated beverage too fast.
“Nicholas, what do you want to do after you eat?” Tate asked. “Play on the swings?”
My boy’s face turned red. He was back to acting shy again for some reason.
I smiled at Nicholas. “I know one thing he’d love to do.”
“What’s that?” Tate turned to me, his eyes eager.
“I see you have a big truck out there. One of his favorite things is to sit in the driver’s seat and pretend to drive. He does it with my dad’s truck all the time.”
Tate grinned as he turned to Nicholas. “I used to love that, too, when I was your age. Someday I can teach you how to really drive one.”
Nicholas smiled. That last part was profound. Tate plans to be here for all of Nicholas’s milestones.
I wished I could tell Nicholas right now that Tate was his dad. But that would have to wait. The shift from thinking my son would never know his father to knowing he’d always have him around made my heart full, despite what we’d have to endure for Tate to love him openly.
After Nicholas finished his snacks, we went out front where Tate had his gray truck in the driveway.
It was a dark, smoky color that suited him well.
He let Nicholas sit in the driver’s seat and play with the steering wheel and all of the buttons.
Nicholas even hit the horn a few too many times, and one of the neighbors walked out to make sure everything was okay.
The man’s rigid expression softened when he got a look at Nicholas bopping around in the seat.
The guy waved and promptly went back inside.
After Nicholas had his fill of the truck, we went around to the backyard. Tate pushed him on the swings until Nicholas tired of it. He eventually wandered off to play in the sandbox while Tate and I stood on the grass a few feet away.
“Was the sandbox here, too?” I asked.
“No.” Tate shook his head. “I bought the stuff to build it and came out earlier this week to set it up.”
“That was really thoughtful of you.”
He shrugged. “It’s the least I can do. I have a lot of catching up.”
“You shouldn’t look at it that way, Tate. It wasn’t your choice not to be there for him. You can just start from today, without feeling like you need to work ten times harder to make up for something you didn’t know you were missing.”
“Thank you for saying that. It’s clear that despite my absence all these years, Nicholas doesn’t want for anything. He’s happy, healthy, and balanced. That’s all because of you, mama. I’m so fucking proud of you.”
I didn’t need his approval, but his words warmed my soul. In his absence, I’d often wondered whether Tate would be proud of the job I was doing raising his son.
He looked over at Nicholas playing. “I failed so badly with Taylor. I can’t let anything like that happen with Nicholas.”
“It won’t. You’ve grown a lot since then, and things are so much better with you and Taylor.”
Tate took a deep breath. “We need to work out how I can help you financially. I’d like to set up a system where I put a certain amount of my salary into an account for Nicholas each week.”
I stiffened. “I don’t need your money.” Why does that idea make me so uncomfortable?
“But I want to help, even if you don’t need it. It’s not like you’re living in the lap of luxury. Taking care of him is just as much my responsibility as it is yours. You shouldn’t have to bear the brunt of it anymore.”
With that, I identified the source of my fear. Financial help was a reminder that Nicholas was no longer solely mine. It felt like a loss of power somehow. Yet I needed to get used to it. “You wouldn’t try to take him from me, right?”
Tate’s brows furrowed as disappointment crossed his face. “Of course not.”
“Maybe that was the wrong way to phrase my question. I know you wouldn’t take him per se.” I let out a shaky breath. “But I don’t want to give up any custody. I don’t want him to have to live in two places.”
Tate’s eyes softened. “Blair, I have no intention of taking him away from the home where he feels safe. I just wanna get to know him and love him. And I want to support you in any way I can. That’s really all.
I’m not gonna turn this into some kind of competition.
” His eyes seared into mine. “You have my word.”
Nodding, I said, “Okay.” I exhaled, feeling a bit foolish. “I’m sorry I went off the rails for a minute there. It just hit me that since we now have DNA proof, he’s not legally all mine anymore. You have rights, Tate. And it’s wrong of me to even ask you to ignore them, but—”
He cut me off. “I would never do anything to hurt you or him. Please believe that. I want to be in his life, but not in any way you don’t want. Promise you’ll trust me.”
“I do trust you.” I looked down for a moment, trying to gather myself. “I just let my fear get out of hand.”