Chapter 19
Elena
The sound of a plate smashing against the floor woke me up.
It was soon followed by Frank screaming in the kitchen.
My heart pounded in my throat, keeping me from swallowing.
Mom’s voice was getting louder, too. Now it was only a matter of minutes before he would come to my room.
Why was she playing his game? We both knew how bad it could get.
For her and for me. Leaving nothing to chance, I grabbed my phone and coat.
The kitchen was closed. I took the opportunity to put on my boots before slipping out the front door.
Once outside, I ran as fast as I could. I had to get away from that house.
Blood was rushing to my ears; I couldn’t hear anything other than my panicked heartbeat.
The soreness in my knee flared up, and I had to stop running.
When I finally reached the bus stop, I dropped onto the bench.
It was only two in the morning. What now?
Where was I supposed to go? My breath came out in little white puffs.
Great. I was out of my father's reach, but I was on the verge of hypothermia. Without thinking, I called Alex.
After a few seconds, he picked up. “Hello?”
His sleepy voice instantly made me feel guilty. Except that I had nowhere else to go.
“It's me. Can you come and get me?” My voice was shaky. I expected him to tell me to go back to bed.
A door closed in the background. “Where are you?”
“At the bus stop on the corner of my street.”
“I'll be there in twenty.”
“Okay.”
After what seemed an eternity, but was only fifteen minutes, the Polo stopped in front of me.
I jumped inside the car under Alex’s silent gaze.
He tried to read me, but was too tired. I could feel my guilt for waking him up increase.
He had better things to do than come looking for me in the middle of the night.
And yet, now that he was here, I felt safe again.
“I'm sorry I called you. I didn't know where else to go.”
Alex put his hand on my forehead and turned up the heat. “You're freezing. Couldn’t you wait inside?”
I lowered my eyes. Had I been in danger? I wasn't sure, but just the thought of waiting in that house made me nauseous. It felt like I was going to puke my guts and my heart out from fear. Feeling my hands trembling, I hid them under my coat.
“I'm glad you called me.”
“You don't mind?”
“If you're scared, I want you to call me. I'd rather be woken up in the middle of the night than find out later something's happened to you.”
Throughout the drive, my heart continued to beat wildly.
I couldn’t shake the restlessness. My mother was still there, and I could only pray that nothing would happen to her during the night.
I followed Alex inside his house, trying to make as little noise as possible.
Once in his room, I finally allowed myself to take a deep breath.
“Wanna talk about it?” Alex asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I shook my head. It was late, and Alex was exhausted. I couldn't keep cutting his night short. And to say what? That I'd been afraid my father would lay a hand on me? That conversation could wait a few more hours.
“Maybe tomorrow.”
“Cute pyjamas,” he observed with a wry smile.
I looked down at my fluffy Pusheen pyjamas. These weren't the outfit I had in mind for my first night at Alex's house. Had I known, I would have planned something lighter and shorter, but that would be for another time. Right then, I didn't care.
“Let's go to bed. I'm beat.”
“Where do I sleep?”
“Here.”
“I'm not going to sleep with you.”
Alex exhaled loudly through his nose, getting irritated. “Elena, it's late. Don't be difficult.”
Well done, Lena...
Seeing my face, his gaze softened. “I'm sorry, I'm just tired.”
Before I could reply, Alex wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I inhaled his scent and tried to calm down. I really needed to relax. Everything was fine now. Nobody could hurt me here.
“You must have been scared if you decided to call me.”
I hugged Alex back. When my friend let go of me, he motioned for me to lie down. I lay down without complaining when I heard Alex laugh.
“Relax, I'm not going to eat you.”
He lay down, leaving enough space between us. I was grateful.
“I know. I have faith in you. I just don't want to invade your privacy too much.”
Each time, I felt like I was imposing myself. That every time he held out his hand, I took his whole arm. It wasn't fair to him; I also didn't know how to stop. Alex had become like my centre of gravity, and each and every time, I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
“It's a bit late for that, don't you think?” Yet there was no reproach in his tone.
“I'm sorry. I really didn't... I really didn't mean to impose on you like that.”
“I don't mind. I like your company.”
I knew that. He was in love with me after all. A knowledge that made my heart dance to crazy rhythms. I just hoped that he’d be able to tell me one day. “If I ever ask too much, promise you’ll tell me?”
“I will.”
Alex fell asleep in a heartbeat. I silently thanked the heavens for placing him in my path.
***
I awoke from a deep, dreamless sleep to the sound of an alarm going off. My mind still foggy, I sensed that something was different. I just couldn't figure out what. My brain felt like teddy bear stuffing. Whatever it was, I liked it, and I didn't want it to stop.
The alarm clock continued to sing. I opened my eyes to find myself face to face with Alex's torso.
His arms were wrapped around me. I didn't remember us ending up in this position, but it felt good.
Alex was still fast asleep and didn't hear the alarm.
When I touched his cheek, he mumbled something incomprehensible.
If he was surprised to find me in his arms, he didn't let go.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” I repeated, smiling.
His eyelids closed again. I continued to poke his cheek, but instead of standing up, Alex tightened his grip around me.
“We have to get up.”
I made a face as I watched myself in the mirror.
I wasn't one to flatter myself often, but usually my dress style was quite elegant.
Now, I looked ridiculous, and not just a little.
Since I'd left the house in a panic, I hadn't thought to take any clothes with me. To avoid waking his family, Alex grabbed some clean clothes from the dryer. That was how I ended up wearing his mom’s psychedelic jeans and a fuchsia T-shirt with silver stars that belonged to Audrey.
With my long burgundy coat and camel boots, I looked like I had walked straight out of a laundry.
When I came out of the bathroom, Alex put his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing, and failed miserably.
“My darling, you look magnificent!” my friend exclaimed, bringing his hands together.
“Shut up.”
“Let's go, fashion disaster.”
When Alex stopped the car in the parking lot, I unbuckled my seatbelt. Here was to hope that no one would say anything about my outfit.
“See you later,” I said.
“Where are you going?”
Confused, I pointed to the school building with my thumb. Where else was I supposed to go? “Well, to school.”
“Wait for me then.”
“But don't you want to join your friends?”
“Yes, but you can come with me. You're on your own, anyway.”
His words rubbed me the wrong way. What did he mean by that? “I'm not a charity case. Just because I'm alone doesn't mean you have to keep me company.”
I ruminated as I got out of the car. He's got nerve. All right, I owed him after what he'd done for me last night, and I was probably getting a little carried away. But still. Couldn’t a girl be alone anymore without others feeling sorry for her?
“Elena, wait!”
Alex had to run to catch up, but I kept moving towards the entrance.
“You know damn well that's not what I meant.”
I stopped dead in my tracks and held his gaze. “And yet that's exactly what you said.”
“I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to vex you.”
I crossed my arms, waiting for his explanation. Alex ran a hand over his face. I was wearing out his patience. His self-control was admirable. Some students gave us funny looks before moving on. Was it because I was dressed like a clown, or because I was standing up to Alex? Or worse, both?
“I just wanted to spend more time with you. Since you're alone most of the time, I didn't think you'd mind staying with me.”
A pang of guilt formed in my chest. Deep down, I knew Alex only wanted what was best for me. Yet the thought of him wanting to spend time with me because I was alone made my skin prickle. I didn't want him to see me as pathetic. “So it's not because you feel sorry for me?”
Alex rolled his eyes. “I know that if you're alone, it's your choice. I'm not that stupid.”
Sometimes, well, most of the time, I wondered how he could stand me. I was annoying, and I'd ruined the morning. And it had started so well. I bit my thumbnail. Maybe it was time I learned to control my shitty temper. “I'm sorry. I just... I got carried away.”
“Oh really,” he said, arms crossed.
“I mean it.”
“Don't go for my throat like that next time. I know you better than you think.”
There was nothing I could say. He was right. Alex turned towards the entrance and motioned for me to follow. Glad that he still wanted me around even when I was unbearable, I followed in silence. We joined Lucas and Yves in the hall. They greeted each other, then his two friends turned to me.
“Hi, Lena! It’s good to see you again. Did you come together?”
Once a shy girl, always a shy girl, so I simply nodded. The boys continued chatting while I began to get distracted. I startled when Alex dropped his forehead onto my shoulder. I patted his head.
“Tired?”
“Knackered.”
He already had trouble sleeping. Now I'd cut another one of his nights short. Alex put an arm around my waist. It was such a simple gesture, and yet it made me melt.
“Sorry. I'll try not to wake you up at night anymore.”