Chapter 20
Elena
“Ouch!”
I dropped my hockey stick to the floor in shock. Blood was already beading on my finger, where her stick had hit my hand. Sophie, my opponent, left her goal and ran towards me.
“I'm sorry!”
“I'm fine,” I assured her.
“Time out. Elena, are you okay?”
The gym teacher led me into the locker room to tend to my wound. At least, there was no pain. Injuring myself during gym hours seemed to be becoming a theme.
“That's a nasty cut you've got there, but it won't leave a scar.”
“It's okay, I'm not worried.”
“Elena, I'm so sorry...”
Sophie, the petite, curvy blonde with the doe eyes, stayed by our side.
I'd never really talked to her, but I knew she was a friend of Nina's.
Although she'd just injured me and made me stop playing in the middle of a match (something I hated), I couldn't blame her for a scratch.
She already felt bad enough. I tried to reassure her as best I could.
“Don't worry. Accidents happen.”
Sophie gave me a grateful smile. Returning to the gym hall, the teacher motioned for me to stay on the bench while the rest of the group resumed the game. Sophie sat down next to me and we chatted for a while. Too bad I'd never talked to her before, she was pretty cool.
“Lena!” Alex jogged over to us. He placed his hands on my cheeks to check up on me, a worried frown on his face. “Are you alright? They told me you got hurt.” His attention fell on my bandaged hand. He furiously turned to Sophie. “Couldn’t you be more careful?”
His tone was so aggressive that Sophie shrank back. Several people came to stand around us when they saw Alex getting angry.
I needed to calm him down before he went completely berserk, and I elbowed him in the ribs. “Alex, stop,” I hissed. “I'm fine. It's just a scratch.”
His nostrils twitched. “It could have been worse.”
“But it's not, so don't be angry with her. It was an accident.” I nodded towards her for him to apologize.
We held each other's gaze until he reluctantly surrendered.
Alex turned back to Sophie with a scowl on his face. “Sorry.”
It was a lie—we all knew that. Alex was making an effort, much to everyone's surprise, so I couldn't complain. The famously taciturn bad boy wasn't actually half as bad.
“Alex, would you do us the honour of returning to the field?” His gym teacher approached us, his patience wearing thin.
Alex ignored him, his attention still on me. “Are you going to be okay?”
I rolled my eyes. What a mother hen! “Yeah. Now go!”
Alex returned to the game, and Nina sauntered over to us, applauding. “Wow! You tamed our beast.” Nina patted me on the shoulder, amused by what had just happened.
I turned back to Sophie, who looked like she’d been through a rollercoaster. “I'm sorry for his behaviour. Alex isn't a bad guy, but when it comes to me, he tends to be overprotective.”
“Cute.”
I bit my lip. With Alex, it was all or nothing. But that was just how he was, and I wouldn't change a thing. “He thinks I'm made of glass.”
“Obviously,” Nina said. “He's mad about you.”
“He is.”
Though he always thought that I was more fragile than I really was, I appreciated this overprotective side that would pop up as soon as he thought I was in danger.
Nina raised an eyebrow. “You're not even trying to deny it?”
“I know how he feels, so I won’t pretend otherwise.”
I just had to find a way to make Alex understand how I felt. Telling him I loved him wasn't enough. He wouldn't believe me.
***
“You okay, Soso? Not too traumatized by Alex?” Nina asked, grabbing her gym bag.
We left the changing rooms and headed for the park for our lunch break. It was strange to follow this duo like a lost duckling. Something about them drew me in like a magnet. Sophie shivered as she thought back to the morning's misadventure.
“I really thought he was going to hit me or something.”
“Same, and yet I've known him since elementary school.”
Nina sighed dramatically. Alex had this aggressive, bad-boy image that stuck to him. Too bad nobody could see beyond the illusion. Sophie and Nina looked back at me.
“And you?” asked Sophie.
“What about me?”
“Did you ever feel like you were going to get struck by lightning by Alex?”
“Oh, yes. I almost peed myself,” I admitted, laughing.
One had to tread carefully when Alex was involved. Seeing all the anger he had in him had petrified me once. Now I knew who hid behind that anger: someone in pain, who was afraid of getting hurt again.
“How did a nice girl like you end up dating Alex?” Sophie asked, taking a sip of water.
Nina cackled. Sophie didn't know our situation. What seemed like “in a relationship” to others was actually “it's complicated” for us.
“Actually, we're not dating...”
Sophie's eyes widened. She didn't believe me. “Yeah, right.”
“No, I'm serious, we're not together.”
“Oh, good. Your duo is that of the big bad wolf and the sweet, innocent lamb.”
“Alex is nice when he wants to be,” Nina replied. “He's not always so cold.”
“He always seems so distant,” Sophie stammered, confused. “It's as if everything bothers him.”
I couldn't contradict her. This was indeed the image Alex displayed. I had to break this distorted image. “It's a facade. Alex is a very sensitive and thoughtful person, but he hides it under an air of apathy.”
This piqued Nina's curiosity. “Tell us more.”
Goodbye, bad boy; hello, sweet pea. Alex was going to hate me for what I was about to say, but they had to know. I beckoned them closer. The girls played along, leaning in.
“When I'm in pain because of my period, he makes sure that my hot-water bottle is always filled, that I always have enough water, and he strokes my hair. He also brings me bubble tea to cheer me up.”
“Are you sure we're talking about Alex?” Sophie asked suspiciously.
“Don't be jealous.”
“Damn. I should have dated Alex when I had the chance,” Nina complained in fake disappointment.
“Too late. He's mine now.”
Not yet, that was. He would be, and once he was mine, I wouldn't share. Me possessive? Never. I wanted to cherish him and show him every day how great he was. There's no way I'd let him go as long as he wanted me to. But before that, I needed to work on myself so I could measure up.
Nina elbowed me in the ribs. “See why I tell you that everyone thinks you're dating?”
“So you're really not?”
“Not yet.”
“I don't understand...”
“Nobody understands but them.” Nina shrugged.
Yes, Alex was crazy about me. And yes, I was just as crazy about him. It would have to wait a bit longer. Nina gave me a knowing look. Perceptive as she was, she knew where my mind was at.
“How do you feel about him?”
I didn't know what made me open up to them, but something about these two girls inspired my trust. So I answered, “The same as he does.”
“Does he know?”
“He will.”
Someone grabbed me by my waist to lift me up.
I recognized Alex's scent and let him spin me around like a rag doll.
I'd never admit it out loud, but his showing me affection in public made my heart beat a little faster, and that warmth I felt in my chest when Alex was with me spread a little further every day.
When he set me down, he didn't let go. Alex rested his head on my shoulder, and I stroked his hair. It was still damp from the shower.
“How was your morning?”
“Hmmm. How's your wound?”
“It's fine, it doesn't hurt.”
Alex noticed that Nina and Sophie were watching. Nina was intrigued. Sophie, on the other hand, was uncomfortable. The poor girl was probably expecting Alex to shout at her again. He quickly looked away, as if struggling to face her.
“You feel guilty, don't you?” I asked in a low voice.
Alex let go of me, smiling apologetically. “I exaggerated, didn't I?”
“Oh yes, you made her feel guilty for nothing.”
Even though he'd overreacted and attacked someone who didn’t deserve that, I wasn’t angry with him. Alex just wanted to protect me; I couldn't blame him for that. If anything, it made me love him even more, and I didn’t know that was still possible.
“Maybe you should clear things up with Sophie now you’ve cooled down.”
“You're right.” Alex approached Sophie, rubbing the back of his head. I put my hand on his back to encourage him. “Uhm, I wanted to apologize for getting angry with you earlier.”
She gave him a sceptical look before turning back to me, waiting for my reaction. I nodded. If only the others could see him the way I did.
“Okay, I accept your apology.”
Alex let out a long breath, relieved she no longer resented him. Nina put her arms around Sophie's shoulders.
“Don't worry, Alex,” she reassured him with a smile. “We know that when it comes to Elena, you're not thinking straight.”
His cheeks flushed pink. “Touché.”
Nina laid out a blanket on the ground for a picnic. This time, Alex joined in our conversations and opened up a little more to them.
“Lena, Sophie and I are going shopping on Saturday. Wanna come?”
I hesitated. I couldn't remember the last time I went shopping with other girls. As tempting as their invitation was, I couldn't accept. Sophie and Nina had been best friends since kindergarten, and I was an intruder. Their kindness was precious to me, but I couldn't encroach on their friendship.
“No thanks, but I appreciate it.”
“Why not?” Nina insisted.
Sophie pouted. Alex bumped his shoulder against mine, nodding toward Nina and Sophie. Of course, he understood what I was thinking.
“They want to spend time with you. Don't be afraid to accept.”
“Are you afraid of us?”
Now being the centre of attention, I lowered my eyes.
I could feel what little self-confidence I had crumbling away, my old insecurities taking over again.
I'd always tried to stay out of other people's way, knowing that I couldn't be what they expected me to be.
And yet, I really wanted them to like me.
Alex put his arm around my waist. “She's afraid of being a burden to you,” Alex explained, answering for me. “Elena finds it hard to understand that some of us want to spend time with her because we like her.”
As always, Alex had read me like an open book and pinpointed what I was feeling. Sometimes I hate his insight.
Nina threw herself at me, pushing Alex away while Sophie patted my shoulder.
“If we ask you to come with us, it's because we want you to be there,” Sophie said.
“You don't think I'm intruding on your friendship?”
Sophie shook her head, her gaze benevolent. “No way! You'd be a perfect addition to our duo.”
“You'd be the icing on our cake!” Nina added, still half draped over me.
I laughed as Alex choked on his saliva.
“What do you say? Are you coming with us?”
They hadn't just invited me for a day's shopping. For the first time in ages, I realized that some people actually wanted me. Me, Elena, the shy girl with the shitty life. Nina and Sophie were opening their hearts, waiting for me to walk in, and I was grateful.
“I'd love to.”