FORTY-ONE
Finn
I start to enact my plan by calling Sarah.
“What do you want, asshole?” she asks, her tone harsh. If this is an indicator of Maeve’s feelings toward me right now, it’s not a promising sign. I can feel the nerves starting and my armpits are suddenly moist. I wipe my upper lip, glad this isn’t a FaceTime.
“Hi, Sarah! It’s great to talk to you. I was wondering if you could help me with something?”
“And why would I do that?”
I take a deep breath. “Because even though I realize my actions have been disappointing and that I fucked up … like so badly … I love Maeve. I want to make things right with her. And I want your help surprising her.”
Sarah suddenly sounds more alert. “If you’re thinking of proposing, don’t. I know guys think that’s romantic, but she will say no.”
“I’m not!” I say defensively. “I just have something to give her that I think will show her how much I see her and appreciate her.” The line is quiet while Sarah mulls over my words. I jump back in, sensing her hesitation. “Sarah, I love your sister. And I really think that she loves me. I know that making my mistake right isn’t an apology. It’s just doing the right thing, and it doesn’t deserve any thanks or praise. I did that, and now I want to apologize.”
“Why can’t you just ask Maeve yourself?”
“Do you really think she’d come to my place right now?”
Sarah laughs. “No way.” There’s another long pause. “You know what? Fine. But only this one time. And only because I see how happy you’ve made Maeve. And this is your one fuckup. It is now officially used up, just so you’re aware.”
“Trust me, I know this is already my second strike, and I don’t get a third.”
“Fine. Then tell me what it is and what you need from me.”
And that’s how, the next day, I get Maeve to come over to my place. I open the door to the pool house before Maeve can knock because I recognize the jingle of her keys as she walks up the lawn. I know all of her little sounds, smells, and mannerisms. I could teach a whole course on what makes Maeve Maeve .
She looks surprised to see me. And I can’t help but notice that she’s wearing the red dress. My favorite dress. Is it a revenge dress now? “You didn’t need to enlist Sarah to get me here you know.”
It’s the first thing out of her mouth and takes me by surprise. “I thought she was going to tell you I needed help! That I had a broken limb or something.”
Maeve rolls her eyes. “Come on. She’s my sister . No secrets. But I’m here, aren’t I? And what she said was probably better.”
“Do I get to know what it was?”
She smiles and it feels like my heart skips a beat. “Absolutely not.”
“Well, can we take a walk?” She nods and we stroll toward the water, toward the same beach where we found out we beat The Paul Myers Show . I let my palm brush hers and am shocked when she slips her hand into mine. I lead her around the back of the house, to the now fancified shipping container that’s overlooking the ocean. The walls are glass on the ocean side so the view is almost completely uninterrupted. I hand Maeve the key.
“This is for you. But before you say anything, I want to say my piece. Because I’m not just giving you a gift because I messed up.”
Maeve opens the door to the shipping container studio—which is much nicer than a Home Depot shed—and we step inside. At first, she’s scanning the interior, taking in the chairs and the desk and the colors with a soft smile on her face. But when I start talking, her eyes lock on mine.
“Maeve, I have been working on this place ever since we got back together. It’s not an apology gift. It’s just a gift. Because you deserve the perfect studio that you’ve always wanted. You deserve everything you’ve ever wanted. And you’ll need it for your new show, which will be incredible no matter who produces it.
“I am so sorry that I acted in such a disappointing way. I know that our industry is sexist, and I chose not to pay attention because I don’t have to. It’s wrong. And making it right is just doing the right thing, not an apology. So please, let me apologize. I’m sorry I betrayed your trust. We’re a team, and we should have been one even when we weren’t together. I didn’t act like it. I’m in the most privileged position, and I know that means I should be the one worried about how women, queer people, people of color, anyone disadvantaged by this shitshow of an industry, is treated. But this is also about you , and I’m sorry that I haven’t been thinking about how things would make you feel. How much harder you’ve had to work to get any recognition. I promise that moving forward I’m ready to be a true teammate, even when that means taking a step back to make sure that you have your own lane.
“Maeve, I love you. You are smart, and creative, and talented, and so hardworking, and so fucking gorgeous. You bring out the best in everyone around you. You help me become the best version of myself, to look for my purpose, to overcome my fears, and try to both be happy and make change. You’re more than I deserve right now, when I still have so much growing to do. But I will spend the rest of my life trying to be the best version of myself and the person you deserve. And I want you to know that I’m not the only one who sees how incredible you are.”