12. Lydia #2
I try to shake off the feeling of anyone else touching me and look back to Simone. We both look horrified and then burst out laughing.
“Ew, that was so gross,” I tell her.
“Such a creep,” she says, still swaying with Tyler.
“I’m gonna go find Harper and Katie,” I tell her, walking off.
I find Harper sitting on a couch alone, and I plop down with her. “Where’s Katie?” I ask her.
She shrugs, staring off into the kitchen. “I don’t know, I haven’t seen her since we all got here, honestly.”
I follow her gaze and see John standing there, talking to some other guys.
“When are you going to tell him you like him?” I ask her.
She looks at me, surprised. “What? No—I don’t—”
“I see how you look at him. What’s stopping you?”
Her face drops. “I don’t know. I don’t know if he likes me like that. Plus, he’s hooked up with Katie before. It would be weird.”
“Katie hooks up with everyone. I don’t think she would care,” I tell her.
“You think?”
I nod. “I mean, I’ve seen her hook up with at least a dozen guys since I saw her kissing John. I don’t think she even cares about him.”
She sighs. “Maybe I’ll try to feel it out more. See if he even likes me like that.”
I shoo her away, telling her to go shoot her shot. She just laughs and heads into the kitchen.
If John is in here now, Eli must be back in too, so I get up to go find him, swaying a bit from the alcohol.
Walking around, I feel it hitting a little harder now. I stumble through the house looking for him when I run into a solid chest. I look up to see Eli, and his expression is dark.
“You’re drunk,” he snaps, grabbing my arm tightly.
I stumble slightly, confused. “What’s wrong?”
Without answering, he leads me roughly out to the car, practically dragging me.
“You smell like weed,” I tell him, taking in a deep breath.
“Yeah, someone had a joint they were passing around.”
“But…” I slur out, “you’re the designated driver?”
“And? It’s just weed? I’m not drunk; I can still drive.”
We get to his car, and he opens the passenger side door, guiding me in and slamming my door. Then he gets in and starts driving, anger radiating from every move he makes.
I look over at him. “Are you going to tell me what your problem is?” I ask, annoyed.
He scoffs, eyes fixed angrily ahead. “My problem?” he repeats sharply. “My problem is my girlfriend doesn’t know how to act when I’m not around.”
Confusion and anxiety fill my mind. “What are you even talking about?”
He turns briefly to look at me, and his gaze is ice-cold. “Someone at the party saw you dancing all over some random guy, Lydia. What, you thought I wouldn’t find out?”
My mouth falls open, the shock I felt quickly replaced with frustration and hurt. “What? Eli, no. That’s not even what happened—”
“Bullshit!” he shouts suddenly, making me flinch. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying! A guy came up behind me. I thought it was you at first, but the second I realized it wasn’t, I moved away and told him I had a boyfriend. It wasn’t even two seconds, Eli!”
“So you did dance with him, then?” His voice drips with venom, twisting my words.
I shake my head. “Not like that! I just told you what happened. I stopped as soon as I realized—”
He cut me off sharply, raising his voice even louder. “You shouldn’t have been dancing with anyone! You know better! You wanna embarrass me? Is that it?”
Anger sparks inside me, pushing aside the fear momentarily. “Embarrass you? Are you serious right now? I didn’t even do anything wrong! You’re literally always surrounded by girls, Eli, and I never say anything! And you’re mad at me over something that lasted two seconds? You’re acting crazy!”
“Crazy?” His voice lowers dangerously, and he gets deadly calm. So much so that it scares me. “You’re the one drunk and grinding on strangers, Lydia. And now I’m crazy?”
“I wasn’t grinding on anyone!” I shout back, feeling tears of frustration sting my eyes. “Why won’t you believe me?”
“Because everyone saw it!” His anger is quickly spiraling out of control. “Do you know how embarrassing it is for me to hear people talking about my girlfriend like she’s easy?”
“Easy?” The word felt like a slap in the face. Humiliation and hurt bringing the tears fully on. “You know I would never—”
“Do I?” His eyes flash over to me, his words cutting deep. “Maybe if you didn’t act like a slut every time you drank, I wouldn’t have to worry about it!”
I’m stunned, shocked at his cruel words. Anger, hurt, betrayal, all boiled into rage. “Are you fucking kidding me, Eli?” My voice breaks as I’m still crying. “I don’t deserve that! I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Stop lying to me!” I see him losing complete control, his voice becoming raw with the anger he’s using in every word thrown at me. “You’re always trying to make me jealous, always pushing me to the edge! Why do you keep doing shit to hurt me?”
“I didn’t do anything!” I yell again, getting overwhelmed. The tears blur my vision so badly, and I keep trying to wipe them away. “Why do you always blame me for everything?”
His breathing starts to get ragged, and so does mine, but it’s not from anger; it’s from the panic rising up.
“Because you make me fucking crazy! I can’t stand thinking about you touching someone else! Why do you do this to me? Why do you keep hurting me?”
“I’m not trying to hurt you! You’re hurting me right now, Eli! You’re being insane!”
The words seemed to strike something raw and violent within him. Every ounce of restraint he had drains away in an instant.
“Shut up!” In a flash of rage, he shoves me toward the window, my head slamming against the glass. Pain and shock explode through my head.
Everything freezes in that single, awful moment.
“What the fuck, Eli?” Tears fill my eyes, and my hand clutches my throbbing head.
I’m too shocked to think. My heart is pounding in disbelief. I can’t even grasp what’s happening. My brain doesn’t want to accept reality in this moment.
“Oh my gosh—” His voice shakes, eyes wide and terrified. “Lydia—fuck, I didn’t mean—”
His apologies flood the air desperately, frantic words tumbling over each other, but his voice just sounds distant to me, muted by the ringing in my ears and the brutal throbbing of my head.
Eli pulls the car over and comes to a stop.
He reaches out to me, and I flinch away from his touch, tucking myself into the seat and scooting as far away as I can.
My whole body is trembling, adrenaline and disbelief still coursing through me.
I reach for the handle, fumbling it with trembling fingers.
“Don’t—don’t get out. Lydia, talk to me!” Eli’s voice is desperate, and he grabs my arm, tugging me back toward him.