16. Lydia
Lydia
Simone keeps turning my face towards her, trying to finish my makeup as I keep looking over to Harper and Katie, trying to talk about our plans for tonight.
“I’m still jealous y’all get to go to prom together without me,” Simone says, pouting.
“I know. I actually didn’t want to go without you,” I tell her. “If it wasn’t for Eli, I wouldn’t be going at all.”
“Well, I’m glad you are.”
She finishes up with my makeup and tells me to get dressed before she finishes my hair, so I don’t mess it up.
She helps me zip up the dress before I turn to look at myself in the mirror.
The long, pale pink, corset-top prom dress hugs me perfectly.
It’s simple and beautiful. The gold necklace and earrings complement it perfectly.
I look nothing like my regular self…and tonight I’m okay with that. I want to shine a little.
Simone’s fingers twist through my dark hair, carefully curling and pinning strands back. She’s been quiet and focused, making sure everything is perfect, but her eyes catch mine now in the mirror, softening with a smile.
“You look so beautiful, Lydia,” she says proudly. “Eli’s jaw is literally going to hit the floor when he sees you.”
I blush and start to feel a little shy. “Thank you.”
“Seriously,” Harper chimes in, adjusting the small straps of her emerald green silk dress and pushing her long, straightened brunette hair behind her shoulders. “You look amazing in pink. You really should wear color more often.”
Katie nods quietly from the corner of the room, absentmindedly smoothing out the bottom of her shorter-styled dark red dress that complements her natural red hair.
She keeps looking off, distracted, something clearly weighing on her mind.
It feels like she’s miles away, but I don’t ask what’s wrong.
I’ve learned the hard way not to pry into her moods.
“You okay, Katie?” Simone asks softly.
She snaps back to attention, painting on a quick, fake smile. “Yeah. Just ready to get this night started.”
Harper and Simone exchange a quick glance, but no one pushes further.
Soon, we’re all ready, standing in the hallway, waiting as Simone helps me adjust a final curl. I’m getting more and more anxious the longer we take.
Downstairs, the faint sound of Eli’s laughter drifts upstairs, mixed with John and Alex’s voices.
“Alright,” Simone says, stepping back. “You’re all set.”
The four of us walk down the stairs slowly, heels clicking against the staircase. At the bottom, Eli turns around, his eyes widening in genuine awe. A slow smile curves across his face as he steps forward, taking my hand when I get to the bottom and pulling me into him.
“Damn,” he whispers, his lips brushing mine. “You look incredible.”
I bite back a smile. “Thank you.”
He leans closer, voice low enough for only me to hear. “I can’t wait to get you out of that dress after prom.”
I giggle quietly as he kisses me, but pause, pulling back slightly. “Have you been drinking?”
He gives me an innocent smile. “Just a little pre-gaming with the boys. Well, just with Alex. John is the DD tonight. He owes me one after too many nights of making me be it.”
I roll my eyes playfully. “Save me some?”
He flashes a mischievous grin, opening his jacket just enough for me to see the silver flask tucked inside. “Of course. We’re gonna have fun tonight.”
We take a few pictures—Sarah fussing over us, and Simone beaming like a proud mom. Even little Huxley gives me a little shy hug, telling me I look pretty. Everything is perfect. I’m happy, and my life feels normal again. I wanna hold onto this.
When we arrive at the venue in South End, I’m swept away by the absolute beauty of the huge space they rented out that’s been transformed for the occasion.
We dance and laugh for most of the night, Eli’s hand never leaving my waist, and constantly wanting to kiss me.
We’re all a little buzzed now from the car ride over, and I feel like I’m floating.
I lose myself in the warmth of his gaze, believing for a moment things can stay like this—uncomplicated and perfect.
Alex and John walk over to us, whispering in Eli’s ear.
Eli leans in close next to my ear. “We’re gonna sneak outside and smoke real quick. You good?”
I nod. “Yeah, I’ll be here with the girls.”
He kisses me and then disappears out the double doors.
Katie and Harper pull me back into dancing with them, laughing freely as we sway under the lights. Eventually, my feet start to ache, and I slip away, sitting down and pulling out my phone. There’s a text from Simone.
Simone: How’s it going?? Wish I was there with you!
I hit the camera button in our message thread and snap a selfie, sending it to her.
Lydia: Missing you. Everything is great. Love you
When Eli returns a little while later, something immediately feels off. His eyes seem too heavy, pupils dilated, and his smile is slightly frantic.
“You okay?” I ask hesitantly.
He laughs too easily, pulling me up from my seat. “Better than okay. Come dance with me.”
This uneasy feeling takes over, but I still follow him to the dance floor. After a few minutes, I lean up, whispering in his ear, “What’s going on? You’re acting weird.”
He laughs, swaying clumsily. “I took a little Molly. It’s okay though. I feel good.”
My heart drops. “Why would you do that?”
“I wanted to relax, and one of the guys from the team offered me some. It’s not a big deal.”
The anger, disappointment, and worry all start to mix in one big pile of messy emotions as I pull away from him.
He tries to pull me back into him and continue dancing, but I place my hand on his chest. “You know how I feel about drugs, Eli. Why would you do that?”
Frustration takes over his expression, but it’s quickly replaced again with this weird bliss. “Because I’m sick of feeling like shit all the time. Don’t you want me to be happy?”
“Not like this,” I snap. “What, the alcohol wasn’t enough? The weed wasn’t enough?”
He sighs. “Come on. Don’t ruin tonight.”
My temper starts to take over every other thought in my head, the irritation mixing with this strange sadness for him. I glance around anxiously, not wanting anyone to see any of this. “Let’s go outside and talk.”
He reluctantly follows me, stumbling slightly as we step into the cold night air.
I shiver, crossing my arms over my chest. Eli notices instantly, shrugging off his jacket and placing it around my shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, softening his voice now. “Everything’s just been so…messed up lately. My parents, all the fighting, my mom with this new guy. I just…needed tonight to feel good. Can’t you understand that?”
“Am I not enough?” I hate the way my voice trembles. “I can’t make you happy?”
“You do,” he insists quickly. “That’s not what this is about.”
“Then what, Eli? Explain it to me, because I don’t get it.”
He groans, eyes still unfocused. “Just forget it. You’re ruining the night and the high. I just wanted to have some fun.”
“Whatever, Eli,” I snap. “I’m calling Simone to pick me up. I don’t want to be here. But please…stay. Have your fun. Just do it without me.”
I realize I left my phone inside, so I turn to walk back in.
Eli grabs my arm, forcing me to look back at him. “Lydia, wait—”
I pull his hand off me and keep walking. Eli’s phone buzzes in his jacket pocket as I enter. Without thinking, I grab it and glance down at the screen.
My heart stops.
Katie: Wanna sneak off somewhere? Ditch Lydia and come find me
Time stops.
Everything we’ve rebuilt is crumbling right in front of my face. I quickly open the phone and go to the rest of the messages between them.
Katie: I bet she bores you in bed
Eli: Why do you care? You jealous?
Katie: No, I just know I’d be better
Eli: You’re trouble, huh?
Katie: I heard you liked trouble
Katie: Thinking about you tonight while I’m touching myself. Wishing you were here
I want to throw up. My brain is taking it all in, yet not wanting to accept any of it at the same time.
I try to scroll up to see any more messages, but it just looks like a cut-off conversation.
Like earlier messages had been deleted. The phone slips through my trembling fingers, crashing to the floor.
I pick it back up, grab my phone off the table, and stumble back outside, rage and betrayal running through every fiber of my being.
“What the hell is this, Eli?” I scream at him through tears, shoving the phone into his chest.
Confusion clouds his face as he takes the phone and looks down at the messages open on the screen.
“Lydia—wait! I can explain!”
“Explain? What is there to explain, Eli? It’s right there!”
Desperation takes over any buzz he was feeling before. “I never responded to her seriously! Look again! It’s her coming on to me! I swear!”
“Then why didn’t you shut it down immediately?!” I shout, tears running down my cheeks, ruining my makeup.
“She’s a slut, Lydia; she tries the same thing with every single one of my friends! I didn’t take her seriously.”
“You should have never responded to begin with! Do you know how you would react if you saw messages like that on my phone?”
“Don’t do that, Lyd.”
“Do what? Speak the truth? Call you out?”
“You know Katie doesn’t care about you, right?” he says in an annoyed tone. “She constantly talks about you behind your back; ask anyone! She’s not your real friend.”
“This is not about her, Eli! You’re my boyfriend…were my boyfriend. You’re the one who just broke my trust. After always being so worried about me talking to other guys when I never gave you a reason not to trust me!”
“Don’t let her ruin us,” he pleads, reaching for me.
I yank away, pulling out my phone and calling Simone, sobbing still.
She answers cheerfully, but it’s quickly replaced with worry when she hears me crying. “What’s wrong, Lydia?”
“Can you come pick me up?” I ask, trying to calm myself down enough to speak.
She doesn’t ask any questions. “I’m getting in my car now; I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
I hang up right as Katie steps outside with Harper, laughing until she sees my face. I fly toward her, hands shoving her hard. “How could you?! You’re supposed to be my friend!”
She stumbles back, startled, before she looks over to Eli and then back to me. Her expression shifts into malice as she stalks back towards me.
“You’re the one who’s the shit friend, Lydia!
Maybe if you cared more about anyone other than yourself, you would have known that I’ve had a crush on Eli since before you even moved to our school!
But everything revolves around Lydia and making sure your sad, depressed ass is coddled all the time. It’s exhausting!”
Her words feel like a knife to the back.
“I never want to see you again,” I choke out.
“Good,” she spits. “One less charity case to worry about.”
I lunge for her, but Eli wraps his arms around my body, stopping me.
“Let me go!” I yell, struggling to get out of his hold.
He stumbles a little, trying to hold on to me. “This solves nothing! Stop!”
“Fuck you, Eli! I hate you!”
“You don’t mean that,” he says quietly.
He puts me down when Katie is gone, and I turn to him, tears still running down my face. “I never want to see you again either.”
I turn to see Harper watching everything, and I can tell she knew nothing about this. It’s written all over her face—shocked and sad for me. But she’s already picked sides, even if she hates herself for it.
I watch as she reluctantly turns and walks back inside, no doubt to find Katie.
Eventually, Simone pulls up, and I rush into the car as Eli still shouts after me.
“Please drive,” I whisper desperately once I’m in the seat.
I tell her everything that happened in the car, through all my tears and the anger pouring out.
When we get back to her house, I collapse onto the bed, sobbing uncontrollably. Simone holds me close, whispering as she strokes my hair, “They don’t deserve you, Lydia. None of them.”
The pain begins to swallow everything, drowning out her words, until sleep finally takes over, putting me out of my misery.