Chapter 27
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
The doctor’s voice was low as she talked to Kate and Shana in the treatment room. Ethan was asleep, thanks to the mixture of the painkillers they’d given him and the adrenaline rush from the shock of the burn.
“Your son is very lucky, Ms. Connelly,” Dr. Golam told her. “It’s looking like a partial thickness burn on his arm, around five inches in diameter.” Kate frowned and he added, “A second degree burn. We’ll need to monitor it to make sure the burn hasn’t gone deeper than we thought, but if this stays the case then no skin graft should be needed.”
Kate let out a long breath. Second-degree burns could be bad – she knew that much. But thankfully only his arm was affected. He’d be in pain for a while, and she hated that. She’d gladly step into a fire if she could save Ethan from the agony, but instead she’d take care of him for as long as it took.
“We’ve already done debridement under a mild sedation before dressing the burn. We’ll keep Ethan overnight for monitoring, and assess in the morning if we will need to debride the wound again,” Dr. Golam continued. “Once he’s home, you’ll need to clean the wound and change his dressing daily. A nurse will show you how this is done. If he’s in pain, you can medicate him with ibuprofen or acetaminophen. If you give him a dose half an hour before you change the dressing that will help with his discomfort. If needed, we can prescribe him something a tad stronger.”
“How long will he be in pain for?” Kate asked.
“Normally, the worst is past within one to two weeks. We’ll want to check him regularly to make sure he’s healing up properly. The nurse will schedule you an appointment with the burn clinic,” Dr. Golam told her. “If you notice any discoloration or weeping from the wound, call us immediately. Also if he spikes a fever.”
“Okay.” Kate nodded. “What about activities? I’m guessing swimming’s out.” She knew he’d be bummed about that. Splashing in the community pool was his favorite thing to do during the summer. And it was the first week of school vacation.
“He will need to keep his arm dry and bandaged as it heals.” The doctor smiled at her. “But honestly, he can do most things. He just needs to pay attention to his body. Is he right handed?”
“Yes.”
“Well, since the burn is on his left arm, there’s not a lot he won’t be able to do.”
That was lucky. If you could describe it as that. Because right now none of this felt lucky at all.
“Thank you, Doctor.” She gave the doctor a smile as he left the room, before turning to Shana, who’d been listening silently.
“Not as bad as it could have been,” she told her friend.
“Yeah, but I should have been watching.” Shana looked pale.
Kate’s guilt flared up again. Not just for leaving Ethan, but because her friend shouldn’t be feeling bad. This was not Shana’s fault.
“No. I’m not having that.” Kate hugged her. “I’m so thankful you were there. You did everything right. Thank you.”
For a moment they held each other, the softness of her friend’s embrace everything she needed. They’d been together through thick and thin and she’d never forget that.
“I promise to never make you babysit again,” Kate told her.
Shana laughed. “Shut up. You know I love those kids.” Her nose wrinkled. “But I need to use the bathroom now that you’re here,” she confessed. “I’ve been doing the pee dance for hours.”
“Eek! Go!” Kate laughed and it felt good.
“You need anything while I’m out there?” Shana asked her.
“No, nothing. But thank you.”
She watched as Shana left, sending up another thank you to the heavens for bringing her friend to her. She grabbed her phone to send a message to Marley letting him know that Ethan was okay, then walked over to the window to look out at the inky black night.
“Mom?”
Ethan was awake but his voice was groggy from the painkillers.
She turned to see him lying on the hospital bed, looking awkward with his arm wrapped in a gauze dressing.
She walked over to him, her face full of love.
“Hey sweetheart,” she said softly, stroking his head. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m so sorry.” His face crumpled, and it about broke her heart. “I didn’t mean to ruin everything.”
“You didn’t ruin anything. Hush, it’s okay.” She leaned down to kiss his cheek. His skin was warm, soft. “Your arm will need to heal, but the doctor says you’ll be fine in a couple of weeks.” She’d save the fire safety talk until later. Not that she thought he’d need it – he’d learned from his mistake in the most horrific of ways.
Right now he needed to rest and heal. And his mom’s love. “We’re staying here tonight, and hopefully in the morning if everything is looking okay we can go home.” she told him.
“It hurts a little,” he whispered. “I was so scared.”
Her heart tightened. “I bet.”
“I just wanted to surprise Aunt Shana. Show her how good I am at cooking smores. With James gone, I’m supposed to be the man of the house.” His face started to crumple. “Aunt Shana must hate me.”
“Oh honey she doesn’t.” She cupped his warm face with her palm. “She was just worried, that was all. Scared, like you were. You’re a little guy and you had a huge fright.”
“You don’t hate me either?” he asked, his voice small.
“Not at all. I love you so much.” She kissed his cheek. “I’m so thankful you’re okay. We’re gonna get you home tomorrow and you can spend the next few weeks healing. I’m here, honey, I’m not going anywhere.”
He nodded, still looking pale, his eyelids starting to flutter closed again. And as he fell back asleep, she sat down in the chair beside him, planning to never let go of him.
“Hey, how’s Paul’s kid?” Tayto asked Marley the next day. They were at the station, tidying up after the Junior Firefighters who weren’t at camp had left. It was a smaller group, so they didn’t start until after lunchtime. As it was, he wasn’t supposed to be at the station today. In some other life he’d still be in the cabin with Kate, tidying up there, getting ready to leave. Probably having one last dip in the hot tub because it was too good to turn down.
But this wasn’t some other life.
He’d driven Kate, Ethan, and Shana home this morning after Ethan had been released from the hospital. After he helped them get Ethan into the house, he carried her suitcase into the hallway, leaving the three of them, because the last thing they needed was for Ethan to start asking questions about why Marley was hanging around them.
So he’d left them and it had been the hardest thing in the world to drive away.
“He’s doing good.” Marley didn’t look up. Truth was, his gut had been twisted all day. All night, too. Every time he thought of Ethan in that garage, catching on fire, with him and Kate so far away he felt like hitting something.
He should have been there. Hell, Kate should have been there.
If he hadn’t wanted to fuck her with some kind of privacy, she would have been. And a little kid wouldn’t be in pain. Wouldn’t have some kind of scar on his arm for the rest of his life.
Some things were indelible. You could never reverse them.
It felt like the heaviest of weights on his shoulders.
“Paul would have been livid, huh?” Tayto continued. “Knowing one of his kids was playing with fire.”
“Two.” Marley’s voice was monotone. “Two of his kids have been playing with fire.”
Tayto blinked for a moment before recognition washed over his face. “Oh yeah, I forgot about James and that party. Jesus, it’s been a long few months. You heard how he’s doing at camp?”
“He’s doing good.” He’d called one of his contacts at the camp this morning. Just to be sure. And because Kate needed to know her other son was safe.
She was keeping it together remarkably well. Which only made him feel worse, because he wasn’t keeping it together at all. He was getting that old, itchy feeling, needing to constantly move. Sitting still meant thinking and he couldn’t do that.
“Hey, can you grab that hose?” Tayto asked. “I’ll start reeling it in.”
The end of the hose was on the far side of the yard. Next to the wall. Marley glanced up, his gaze landing on Paul’s portrait.
And the guilt he’d been trying to keep down for so long felt like it was exploding inside him. His breath started to come faster as he thought of that day. He and Paul were talking about Kate. Because yes, he always had a thing for Kate, but he’d tried to hide it.
He loved Paul. He was one of his best friends. And he’d never do him dirty.
But you did.
He tried to blink back that thought. But it lingered, like the smell of hot concrete after freshly fallen rain.
A memory flashed into his mind. Paul had been telling him a story about one of Kate’s library groups. Stitch and bitch, or something like that. And right as he was about to tell Marley the punchline, a smile already making his lips pull up, he’d winced, touching his head.
“Fucking headaches.” Paul pressed along his brow. “Had this one all day. I’m telling you, don’t get old. There’s always something that hurts.”
“You’re not old.”
“I feel it.” Paul winced. “Kate tells me I need to slow down.”
“You should go home,” Marley had suggested. “I can finish up here. Turn your phone off, get some sleep.”
“I…”
And then it happened. Before he could say anything else, Paul had crumpled to the ground, his head and body banging against the blacktop with a horrifying thud. He’d already been unconscious at that point, not able to put his hands out to soften the impact. And for a full ten seconds Marley had stood there, panic rising up in his body at the sudden change in his friend.
He'd been trained to respond. To be calm, to think things through logically. But when it was your friend who was the patient, everything changed. His mind was hazy as he dropped down to the ground, taking Paul’s pulse, finding it.
But barely.
What’s next? Check his breath.
Call the fucking medic.
He started shouting, fear rising through him, his hand on Paul’s chest. “Breathe, buddy, just fucking breathe.”
Everything was going wrong.
His whole body was shaking by the time the medic arrived and started asking questions, then Paul had stopped breathing.
They did CPR. Got him in an ambulance. Continued CPR because that’s what they were trained to do.
“Stay with me,” he’d said, his voice cracking. “Paul, you gotta start breathing. For Kate. For your kids. Fucking fight for them.”
But he was gone and they knew it before they even reached the hospital. And Marley wanted to scream because this shouldn’t be happening.
He should have been able to save his best friend. He was there. He should have done more.
Kate had lost her husband and her kids had lost their dad because of him.
“Hey Marley, you got the hose?” Tayto’s voice cut through his thoughts.
“Yeah, I got it.” His voice was raspy.
“Great. I’m reeling it in, start feeding it.”
Marley pulled his gaze away from Paul’s never-blinking eyes in the photograph and did as Tayto asked.
And as the hose reeled away, the guilt inside him grew and grew.
Before they wheeled Paul into the hospital, he’d kissed his friend’s cheek. Promised him he’d take care of his family. That he’d never let his kids get hurt.
He’d let his friend down that day by not saving him. And this weekend he’d let him down again in so many ways it made him want to hurl.
And he wasn’t sure how to deal with that.
The kids are all in bed. Want to play Romeo to my Juliet? – Kate xx
She hit send on the message and let out a low breath. She’d missed Marley so much today. After their trip together, even after it ended so badly, she’d felt so close to him.
Right now she needed his arms around her. To feel safe in them. It had been a tough day, getting Ethan settled and his medicine right. A couple of times he’d cried from the pain.
I’m on my way. – Marley
She heard the rumble of his truck’s engine about ten minutes later. And it was a little confusing because he usually ran over so nobody saw his truck parked outside.
Maybe he was making a point. They were going to go official soon. She shouldn’t care that his truck was outside her house all night. And right now she didn’t. She just wanted to be in his arms again.
When she heard him start to climb up, her heart started thudding against her chest the way it always did. And at the same time her muscles relaxed. She’d been on edge all day. Ethan was a good patient, but he was understandably whiny and kept asking when he could go to the pool with his friends.
“Soon,” she promised. “Let’s get a few days of rest, then you can dangle your legs in.” She’d already ordered a waterproof arm cover online, but she wanted him to take it easy. Even if his arm was covered, his friends were boisterous and a hit to his arm could cause him extreme pain.
So yeah, she was being a mom and putting her foot down right now. And putting up with Ethan’s moaning was way better than him getting hurt again.
Marley climbed easily into the bedroom, his feet landing on her carpet with a thud, before he stood and ran his hands through his hair.
And of course her heart did a little loop the loop. Everything about this man set her on fire.
“Hi,” she said softly.
His eyes caught hers. “Hi.”
She was wearing a pair of short pajamas because the heat had taken it up a notch this week. She reached out her hand but he didn’t take it.
“How’s Ethan?” he asked.
“The same as when you asked an hour ago,” she teased. “Asleep and fine.”
Marley nodded, looking relieved. “Did you change his dressing today?”
“Yes.” It was like being lectured by a parent. Kind of endearing but a pain in the ass. Still, she couldn’t help but smile. “And I’ll do it tomorrow, too.” With every dressing change, she had to coat his skin with the ointment the hospital had given her. He hated it.
“Good.” Marley pressed his lips together. “I took a look at the garage last night. There’s some charring in there. I’ll bring Pres over next weekend and we’ll make it like new. In the meantime, I’ll get rid of the grill.”
“Is it ruined?”
“I mean it’s pretty damaged, yeah. But I assumed you wouldn’t want it, anyway.”
“There’s no need for you to do that,” she told him. “I can arrange for them to take it away when I buy a new one.”
“You’re still gonna have a grill after what happened with Ethan?” Marley’s brows pulled tight. “Is that wise?”
She started to laugh. He was joking, right? “How else am I gonna cook burgers in the summer?”
But Marley wasn’t smiling at all. “That thing hurt your child. It’s irresponsible to have a grill near him.”
She blinked, shocked by the turn in conversation. “I’m sorry?” Because clearly she hadn’t heard right.
Marley pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not saying it right.” He let out a low breath. “If Ethan’s fixated on smores, maybe you shouldn’t keep the temptation so close.”
“That’s not how it works,” she told him. “You don’t teach a kid how to behave by taking temptation away. That takes away their decision making. Ethan’s learned his lesson. I’m pretty sure he’s not going to be using the grill any time soon. Pain does that to a person.”
“But why take the risk?” Marley asked her. “Why would you do that?”
She felt breathless at his question. Like he was calling her a bad mother without saying it. And yeah, it put her on edge, because she was already beating herself up about Ethan’s burns. She didn’t need him to do it, too.
“You want me to take the oven and fireplace out too?” she asked him.
“No, that would be stupid.”
Oh boy. “So would not having a grill. I’m not removing things every time the kids do something wrong. Hell, there’d be no electrical sockets after they tried to put their fingers in them as toddlers. No baths after James slipped on the edge and cut his head open when he was six. We wouldn’t have knives in the house, or stairs, because Addy once slipped down them. Did you know that?” Ooh, the annoyance was rising up in her. “You want me to take the stairs out, too?”
“That’s not what I meant.” Marley’s voice was low, which was a good thing, because she knew hers was too loud. Too annoyed.
“Then what did you mean?”
He took a deep breath, his blue eyes on hers. “If you want burgers, I can cook you burgers.”
“So you’re to be trusted with a grill but I’m not?”
“Of course you’re to be trusted. That’s not what I’m saying. I just think, in the short term, we need to think about what Ethan needs.”
“I think about what Ethan needs constantly,” she said, her eyes flashing with annoyance. Weren’t they supposed to be in each other’s arms by now? In her bed even? Because that’s what she’d wanted. What she’d needed all day, after looking after Ethan, answering Addy’s questions. Trying to keep everything together. “I think about Ethan’s, Addy’s, and James’ needs all the time, Marley. There’s not a moment when I don’t. So don’t start lecturing me about what my kids need.”
“Hush,” he said. “You’re gonna wake the kids up.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Seriously? Now I’m not only a bad mother for having a grill but for waking my kids?”
“I never said you were a bad mother. I just thought we could talk about things in a calm manner. About how we can keep Ethan safe. That thing in the garage is a fucking death trap. Why would you want it anywhere near your kid?”
“Because I’m his mom and I know what’s best for him. And if a kid does something wrong, you don’t take away their choice about whether to do it again. You teach them how to make the right choice. That’s how they grow into adults. And yes, I hate that Ethan had to learn his lesson in such a scary, horrific way. I hate it so much it makes me sick. But he’s learned it, and if he still wants smores, then he’ll get smores.”
“You’re making the wrong decision.”
She jutted her jaw out, hurt by his words. But not willing to let him see that they’d caused her pain. Because dammit, he was wrong here. Completely . She knew her kids, she knew what they needed.
“Well, I’m his mom. And it’s my decision.”
Marley blew out a mouthful of air. “Just let me get rid of the fucking grill and be done with it.”
“No.” She knew she was being stubborn. But she was also right. “This is my house. They’re my kids. I get to make the decisions.”
Marley winced. “I get that.”
“Do you? Just because I sleep with you doesn’t mean you get to come into my house and tell me what to do. I’m in charge here. You’re not my husband, they’re not your kids.” Oh, she was on a roll. A long, furious one. “You think I don’t feel bad about Ethan getting burned? I got no sleep last night. I spent the whole night beating myself up because I should have been here to prevent it. And Shana’s in pieces because she thinks it’s her fault, too. We should never have gone to that damn cabin. Then none of this would have happened.”
Marley’s gaze didn’t move from her face. But she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. Maybe because she felt like she’d gone too far. Said too much.
She’d wanted him to hold her. To tell her it was all going to be okay. But instead he was making her feel so much worse than she already did.
“Maybe I should go.” His voice was still low and calm. She hated that.
“Yeah, maybe you should.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest, so aware of how little she was wearing. She felt hurt, exposed. And she had no idea where all of this had come from. She wanted to cry, but she wasn’t going to cry in front of him.
She had some pride left.
“Kate…”
Letting out a low breath, she turned away, because yes, even though she was trying hard, she could feel the tears starting to sting as they formed in her eyes. “I’m tired. Please just go.”
For a moment he hesitated, then she heard the shuffle of his feet. The thud of his body as he climbed back out of the window he just climbed into. And she stood there, her arms wrapped around herself as she listened to the sound of his feet connecting with the grass, and a moment later the slam of his truck door.
It was only when the engine started up, and his truck pulled away that she let herself collapse into tears.
What just happened? She had no idea. Everything had felt so perfect two days ago and now it felt painful. And she had no clue how she could even begin to fix things.
Instead, she crawled into bed, tears pouring down her face, her body curled into the fetal position, all too aware of the empty space on the mattress next to her.