Chapter Twenty-Four
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
JOEL
S he left. With what could arguably be the world’s most selfish goodbye, she took off, and I stupidly let her go. I stood there as she got in her jeep and drove away. I stood there until Maya radioed me asking why I hadn’t greeted my morning group yet. I even continued to stand there a few more minutes to avoid facing my day.
What did I think she would do? Change her mind and come peeling back into the parking lot, asking if she could just move in with me until she found her own place? That’s ridiculous.
I would have told her to stay at my place forever.
I fell. I fell too hard and too fast. Shame spread through me like a disease. And even though nobody on the island knew what I had been feeling for her, I felt like everybody stood there judging me. The poor little widower who thought he had found somebody special. Thought he deserved a second chance at sharing a life with somebody.
The night before should have been a warning to me. We had a weird little spat; not even a real fight. We were exhausted. It had been a long two days. There were a lot of emotions running all over the place. Weddings do that to you .
Plus, I had punched that shark.
But I thought we would get some sleep and realize we were both a little extreme in our responses, and we would work it out. She seemed like somebody who could be mature about things, talk them through, rationally fix them. Not run away from confrontation like a coward.
Did she think I cared she was a jilted bride? Like that would make me see her as less than worthy of loving? Was she worried I would think I was her rebound? Was I her rebound? Did I really care?
Forward stroke.
Forward stroke.
Forward stroke.
Forward stroke.
I went through the motions getting the group to the island bird refuge and answering any questions they shot off, but I wasn’t in the mood to entertain them with my mental bag of ocean facts or make small talk. Getting through three back-to-back tours was hard with how distracted I was.
When I finished, I sat on the beach and waited until the sun went down. Stupidly checking my phone all evening, I kept thinking I’d get a call from Natalie, or even just a text letting me know she landed.
It came as an afterthought late that night once I was home.
Hey. I am home. Flight was uneventful. Laundry for days. Hope your tours went well today!
So formal, lacking in her usual flirtatious and thought out manner. No apology for leaving. No mention of missing me. I didn’t know what to make of it and decided not to engage and reply. Instead, I opened my balcony door, laid on my bed, and let the distant whoosh of the waves lull me into a fitful sleep.