Chapter 14
Adriel
Adriel felt like he was being consumed, devoured, taken apart piece by piece and put back together differently.
His back was against the door. The wood was hard and cool through his thin shirt, a contrast to the heat of Landen's body pressed against his front. He could feel every inch of him. The broad chest, the solid thighs, the weight of him pinning Adriel in place like he was exactly where he belonged.
Like he was wanted there.
Landen's tongue slid against his again, slow and deep, and Adriel made a sound he didn't recognize. Something high and desperate, swallowed immediately by Landen's mouth, absorbed into the kiss like fuel.
Adriel's hands were still fisted in Landen's shirt, wrinkled fabric twisted around his fingers.
He'd been holding on like a lifeline, like the only thing keeping him upright, and maybe that was true.
His knees weren't reliable anymore. His whole body had gone liquid, molten, held in place only by the door at his back and Landen at his front.
Landen's hand was still on his waist. Fingers spread wide over the curve of it, gripping like he wanted to hold on forever. Like he liked the feel of it. Like it wasn't something to be ashamed of, something to hide, something to apologize for.
Adriel's mind spun.
Why? The question was still there, flickering at the edges, even as Landen kissed him breathless.
Why me? Why this? Why would someone like him want someone like me?
Landen's hand squeezed. A small pressure, a reassurance, like he could feel Adriel pulling away even while standing right here.
Adriel kissed him harder. Tried to pour the question into it, the confusion, the desperate wanting. Tried to ask with his mouth what he couldn't form into words.
Do you mean this? Is this real? Am I allowed to want this?
Landen answered by deepening the kiss further.
His tongue pushed deeper into Adriel’s mouth, explored the heat of it, tasted him like he couldn't get enough. His other hand slid from Adriel's neck into his hair, fingers curling into the strands, gripping just enough to send a shiver down Adriel's spine, making him gasp.
He could feel everything too sharply; the pull of Landen's fingers in his hair, the grip on his waist, the press of Landen's thigh between his legs, the hardness he could feel now, unmistakable, Landen's cock pressed against his hip.
He wants me.
The thought hit him like a physical blow. Made his breath stutter, his heart stop, his whole body lock up for a single frozen second.
Landen was hard.
Adriel's mind went blank. The questions, the insecurities; all of it just… stopped. Replaced by the feel of Landen's body against his, the evidence of want pressed hot and heavy against his hip.
He moaned.
Couldn't help it. Didn't try to stop it. The sound came from somewhere deep, somewhere he'd kept locked away for years, and it spilled out of him like a confession.
Landen groaned in response.
The sound vibrated through Adriel, made his toes curl, made his hips shift forward without permission, seeking more contact.
Landen pulled back just far enough to breathe.
His forehead pressed against Adriel's. His eyes were dark, pupils blown, lips wet and slightly swollen. He looked ruined. Looked like Adriel had done something to him, like this was affecting him as much as it was affecting Adriel.
"Fuck," Landen whispered. His voice was wrecked. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."
Adriel couldn't speak. Couldn't form words. Could only stare up at him, chest heaving, lips parted, whole body trembling.
Landen's eyes dropped to his mouth.
Then he was kissing him again.
Harder this time. Faster. Less controlled. Like the admission had broken something open in him too, had let loose whatever restraint he'd been holding onto.
Landen's thigh pressed harder between his legs.
Adriel gasped. His hips jerked forward, grinding against Landen's thigh without permission, without thought, pure instinct and need. The friction was a torture, not enough, too much all at once.
"That's it," Landen murmured against his mouth. "Let me feel you."
Adriel's face burned. But he didn't stop. Couldn't stop. His hips moved again, small and needy, seeking more of that pressure, more of that feeling.
Landen's hand on his waist tightened. Guided him. Showed him how to move, how to rock against his thigh, how to find the rhythm that made Adriel's eyes roll back.
"Good," Landen breathed. "So good. You feel so good."
The words were gasoline on a fire.
Adriel whimpered. Actually whimpered, the sound embarrassing and real and completely uncontrollable.
Landen's mouth left his. Trailed across his jaw, down his throat, found the spot he'd found before, the pulse point that made Adriel shudder. He kissed there, licked there, sucked gently, and Adriel saw stars.
"Yes," he heard himself say. "Please…"
He didn't know what he was asking for. Didn't know what he needed. Just knew he needed more.
Landen's hand slid from his waist to his ass.
Gripped there. Pulled him harder against his thigh, increased the pressure.
Adriel's head fell back against the door with a thunk, but he didn't feel it.
Couldn't feel anything except the building heat in his belly, the desperate need coiling tighter and tighter.
"Landen," he gasped.
His voice broke on the name.
Landen lifted his head. Looked at him. Those dark eyes, that ruined expression, that mouth red and wet from kissing him.
"I've got you," Landen said. "I'm right here."
He shifted. Stepped back just enough to take Adriel's hand, to pull him away from the door.
Adriel went. There was no thought in it, no decision. His body simply followed, let itself be led, let Landen's fingers wrap around his and tug him forward. The warmth of that grip was electric, sent sparks up his arm, made his breath catch all over again.
Landen walked backward through the small apartment, pulling Adriel with him. His eyes never left Adriel's face. That gaze, those eyes, dark and intent and hungry; they held him captive, pinned him in place even as they moved.
Past the living room. Past the coffee table with Jenna's books. Past the kitchen doorway, the dishes in the rack, the ordinary evidence of a life that felt very far away right now.
Adriel's hand trembled in Landen's grip. His hip bumped the edge of the hallway table. He barely felt it.
Landen's thumb stroked across his knuckles. Slow. Soothing.
They reached his bedroom door. The room beyond was dark, lit only by the streetlamp through the blinds, the same pale gold stripes that had kept him company through the sleepless night.
Landen pulled him inside.
The doorframe brushed Adriel's shoulder as they passed through. Then they were in the room, in his space, the most private part of his life suddenly open and exposed and filled with Landen's presence.
Landen slowed the kiss.
Gentled it. Softened it. Drew back just enough that their lips barely touched, just enough that Adriel could feel his breath, warm and uneven, against his mouth.
Then he moved back further. His forehead pressed against Adriel's.
"You okay?" Landen whispered.
Adriel nodded.
His hand came up to Adriel's face, cupped his cheek, held him gently.
But was he okay?
He didn't know. He didn't know anything right now. His mind was hazy, thick with want and disbelief and the lingering shock of it all.
No one had ever kissed him like that. No one had ever looked at him like that. No one had ever made him feel like he was something worth crossing a city for, worth showing up at a door for.
"You asked me why I wanted to kiss you," Landen whispered. The hand on his face moved. Fingers caressed his cheek, traced the curve of it, followed the line of his jaw.
"Because of this," Landen said.
His fingers moved. Traced beneath Adriel's eye, where he knew pink had spread across his cheek, followed the curve of it, the soft skin there. Adriel's lashes fluttered against the touch.
"And these," Landen whispered.
The fingers moved lower. Found his lips. Traced the shape of them, the fullness of the bottom one. His thumb caught on it, pulled it down slightly, just barely, just enough to feel the give of it.
Adriel's lips parted on a shaky exhale.
His thumb lingered there, pressed slightly, let the lip slip free. Then his eyes met Adriel's again, and what Adriel saw in them made his chest ache.
"I wanted to kiss you because you are the only thing I can think about, Adriel." Landen's voice was barely there, a whisper against the space between them. "You consume my every thought."
His lips followed the path his fingers had taken.
A soft kiss to Adriel's cheek. Warm. Tender. A kiss to the skin beneath his eye, so light it was almost nothing. Then to his lips.
Adriel shivered.
His heart was beating so hard he was sure it would break out of his rib cage, sure Landen must feel it, must hear it, must know what those words were doing to him. He shook his head slightly. A tiny movement. Involuntary. A refusal he couldn't help.
It couldn't be true.
How could it be true? Why would someone like Landen; sharp and polished and effortlessly beautiful, ever want someone like Adriel? Why would he be the one to consume anyone's thoughts?
It didn't make sense. It couldn't make sense.
"You don't trust me," Landen whispered against his lips. "I know."
His mouth brushed Adriel's as he spoke. Each word a tiny kiss, a tiny promise.
"But you will."
Adriel's eyes fluttered closed.
"You can't see it." Another brush of lips. "You don't even realize just how beautiful you are."
Adriel made a sound. Small. Broken. A protest he couldn't voice, couldn't form into words.
"But I will show you."
Landen's lips were on his again.
Deeper this time. Harder. His tongue slid into Adriel's mouth, and Adriel's thoughts, what was left of them, vanished completely.