Chapter 24 Cleo
Cleo
I’ve spent the day writing up both the interview with Tasha Alcott and Lieutenant Pierce.
Both exceptional people in their fields.
Lieutenant Pierce didn’t give me exactly what I wanted regarding my suspicions of Benton’s behaviour, however, I’m well versed enough in body language and micro-expressions to have caught the underlying tension when I brought the Warrant Officer into the conversation.
I’m experienced enough now to know when to back off a subject, and that’s what I did with the good lieutenant. It wasn’t a bust though, because I had an amazing time shadowing him yesterday afternoon and got a great interview out of it.
Now I have a stack of interviews ready to be incorporated into the article, I can relax a little. I will have time to investigate Benton and his pal, Lieutenant Hardman.
But before all of that, I’ve got a second date to attend.
River told me to dress warmly, so I’m confident we will be on the flight deck.
I like how her mind works regarding our dates.
She’s taking the classics, such as a romantic dinner and walk around a park, and adapting them for life on board.
It’s very sweet, and very welcome. I’m having fun with her…
more than I thought, to be honest. Once again, my inner critic was waiting for River’s mask to slip and watch her become the sailor I met in the bar.
I’m a little ashamed of myself. Has my past scarred me so badly I can’t see the good in someone?
Even when they show me over and over how hard they’re trying?
Maybe we’ll need another pause before the date tonight.
River asked me to communicate with her…but then again, I don’t want to keep telling her I don’t trust her motives.
That’s just shitty, and in retrospect, nothing to do with her… it’s about me and my baggage.
I blow a raspberry into the room in frustration. Being here is forcing me to face things, just like I suspect our situation is forcing River to do the same.
River, River, River. I want to dare myself to believe she won’t hurt me, because I like her…I really like her.
Standing from my small desk, I head over to my equally small wash basin and stand holding it as I look into the mirror above.
It’s time to have a word with myself.
Sucking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly, all the time looking myself square in the eye.
“River is not your ex. She is not your father, and you,” I say, punctuating my words with my index finger jabbing at the glass, “are not the same person. You are not a child, Cleo Carter, so stop acting like it. River is here, and she’s doing far more to prove herself than you are.”
River comes from a home full of mistrust, anger, and bitterness.
She deserves to have someone treat her the way she deserves.
Someone she can trust not to let her down.
I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to pull my head out of my arse, but I’ve finally done it.
I’m wiping my history slate clean. It’s time to write something new.
Whatever happens after our voyage is over is something I can’t predict or control, just like River said.
It’s about time I started living in the now, with her.
Putting on my nice jeans, which I know make my arse look fabulous, I pull on a shirt and thread my arms through my peacoat.
I’ve got about five minutes before River will be here to pick me up.
I smile at the thought, because even though we’re in the belly of a steel beast, the idea of her collecting me almost makes me believe we are back on shore, and she’s about to turn up on my doorstep with flowers or something equally sweet.
Shaking my head, I run my hands through my hair to give it a little more body. Not that it needs it, but I kind of like the windswept look.
Subtle makeup has my eyes popping and my lips shining. Hopefully River will kiss my lip gloss off. A thrill runs the length of my body as I get lost in the memory of her lips.
Two sharp knocks bring my attention back to the room.
Smoothing down my clothes, I answer the door and have to bite my cheek.
I’ve seen River and hundreds of other sailors in their work uniform a hundred times, but goodness, she takes my breath away every time.
Now, though, it’s not just lust I feel, but something softer and warmer.
“Hi,” she says through a giant smile. “Can I come in a second?”
Nodding, I step aside and let her pass. She smells of fabric conditioner and hairspray.
“You look beautiful,” she says to me as soon as the door is closed, and fuck, it takes all my strength not to haul her to the bed. I want to ruffle her immaculate hair with my fingers. I want to pop every button of her blue work shirt open…slowly.
“Cleo.” She chuckles.
Clearing my throat, I smile and blush. “Thank you…you look…edible.” Whoops, I didn’t mean to say that part out loud.
River is full-on glowing at me now with a twinkle in her eyes. “Thank you.”
“So,” I begin, trying desperately to dilute the concentrated tension swimming around us. “Are you ready to go? I’m taking my notepad in case we run into someone. I’ll say we’re touring the ship again or something.”
Nodding, River takes a small step towards me. “Before we go, I wanted to give you this.”
Reaching into her trouser pocket, she retrieves a small white object. Taking my hand, she turns it palm up and opens it. I watch her place the object in my hand, and it takes me a second to comprehend what I’m seeing.
“It’s origami. Um, I learned it ages ago and…I wanted to bring you flowers, but…it’s a rose…an origami rose. Sorry, it’s lame, isn’t it?”
I’m still staring at the perfectly folded paper rose. It’s exquisite, and I’m lost for words. It was only moments ago I smiled at the thought of River turning up with flowers, and here she is, yet again, pulling out the stops in such a unique and River kind of way.
Swallowing, I look up. “This is the most beautiful thing I think I’ve ever been given.”
Her face transforms from consternation to open relief. I place the rose on the bedside table and step into her personal space.
“Thank you,” I breathe softly against her lips before closing the last few millimetres.
There is no frenzy of tongues clashing, just our lips pillowing against each other. My hand travels to the side of her face as we continue to connect. I love the feel of her skin beneath my fingers.
We lazily pull apart and I see the look in River’s eyes. The look that tells me she’s feeling something more, something I don’t think she’s felt before. I know, because I’m giving her the same look.
“I…um…”
“Let’s go for a walk,” I say, saving her from having to find the words.
I step back to give us both some breathing space. River touches her lips momentarily before remembering I’m there watching her.
“After you,” she says, reaching up to straighten her already perfectly placed beret.
We walk through the ship at a leisurely pace. Neither of us wants to rush tonight, and personally, I’m really enjoying the brief touches of her arm against mine as we step through the hatches.
The night sky unveils itself before us as we step onto the flight deck.
Living in London doesn’t lend itself to stargazing, not with the air pollution.
I’ve travelled all over the world and had the privilege of witnessing star-filled nights like tonight.
None of them compare, though. Not when I feel River’s presence close behind me as we look up.
I’d love for her to wrap an arm around my waist and lean her head on my shoulder, but in a way this feels more intimate.
A few more moments pass before I feel a hand at the bottom of my back. “This way,” she purrs.
The flight deck only has a skeleton crew operating, so we’re relatively alone. I look up and see Cheddar on the upper balcony. She’s walking back and forth with a rifle held in her arms.
“Ched’s on watch tonight,” River says after following my eyes up to her friend. “She absolutely hates it.” She laughs.
“Poor Cheddar.” I chuckle.
“Ah, don’t feel too bad for her. We all have to do it.”
“What’s the worst watch you’ve ever been on?”
She blows a breath out. “I’ve had a few to be honest. I’d say the worst was in the Baltic Sea. It was absolutely freezing. I ended up buying one of those faux fur hats, like the Russians wear. I thought my bloody ears and fingers were going to fall off.”
“Oh, that doesn’t sound fun at all!”
“What about you. What’s the worst story you’ve been on?”
“In terms of subject or outcome?”
“Outcome.”
I’ve worked on some major stories over the years, each as hard to comprehend as the next. I’ve seen humanity at its worst, and every time I think it took something from me.
“A sex trafficking ring was exposed in southern America. I was on the story, following the national police. They were hours away from raiding a place known to house children who were ready to be sold. We were too late. The traffickers got wind of the raid and killed everyone. I’ve never seen carnage like it. I had nightmares for months.”
“Jesus Christ, Cleo. That’s awful…fucking hell, forget me moaning about some frozen extremities.”
“Frozen toes are nothing to scoff at,” I joke.
We continue to wander the edge of the flight deck. “Why do you do it?” River asks quietly. “It sounds bloody horrible, to be honest.”
“It is, but it’s not all terrible. Truth deserves to be outed. The world can only change if it’s exposed to the atrocities. The men and women who do these things need to be exposed. Truth is the most important thing in the world.”
River nods and chews her lips. “In the spirit of truth, I found something out about Benson,” she says, but I stop her with an arm on her bicep.
“Can we just have tonight as our own? I want to know what you found out, but I want this date to be just about us. Is that okay?”
Her hand drifts to my hip. “Absolutely. We can talk about it tomorrow.”
“Thank you.”
“I wish I could kiss you again,” she whispers.
“I know.”
River knots her jaw and then cocks her head, signalling for us to carry on walking. We walk and talk, chatting about life on board the ship and my life in London.
“I have a little surprise,” she says when we return to the start of our loop.
“Okay, lead the way.”
Flashing me her knicker-wetting grin, River turns about and heads back through the ship with me hot on her heels.
I’m completely turned around as we head through the maze of corridors. My attention has been firmly on River, and I couldn’t even hazard a guess as to our location.
We stop outside a rolling door inside the main hangar, which I’ve never seen before. River presses a button and it begins to open. A small lookout balcony comes into view. We are completely alone, and I realise River must have called in some more favours to set this up for us.
Then I see the blanket lying on the ground. My eyes snap to the picnic basket sitting at the edge of the blanket.
“River.”
“I thought it’d be nice to have some food while watching the water…away from prying eyes.”
Stepping out, I take in the whole scene. The lookout is below the main deck and there isn’t another person in sight, so we are truly alone. The Atlantic Ocean is sprawled out before us underneath a canopy of stars.
I hear the door roll down behind us. Then I feel River behind me, breathing me in. Her hand goes around my waist and her head brushes up against mine.
“Ready for our second date?”
God, I’m ready for everything with this woman.