Chapter Fourteen
Finn
I was driving my boyfriend to pick up our suits for the wedding.
Boyfriend. I still couldn’t believe it. Even a month and a half later, six whole goddamn weeks, and just thinking that word still gave me a rush, while saying it out loud gave me a semi.
No offense to Miles, but Ryder was my number one male, and I was hoping he would be for a very long time.
I also couldn’t believe the wedding was only a week away. Or that Ryder had two Saturdays off in a row. Though I knew he had taken the whole next weekend off months ago, including the Friday before the wedding. That Saturday was just the luck of the scheduling draw.
I wished I had more time with him, but that was what dating a young doctor was like.
It’s corny as fuck to say, but I valued each minute we had.
Just being in his company sent tingles up my spine and vibrations in my stomach.
What a fucking thrill to glance at my passenger seat, see Ryder fucking Beckett smiling, holding my hand, and knowing that man is my boyfriend. Jesus fucking Christ.
“What?” Ryder asked after I returned my attention to the road.
“Nothing.” I couldn’t help but smile.
“Not nothing. Spill it.”
“You’re just handsome.”
“Careful.” He squeezed my hand. “That kinda talk will get you into trouble.”
“What kinda trouble?”
“Oh, I dunno. Several kinds, really.” I glanced over to catch his smirk. “Most of which end up with you having a sore butt.”
It wasn’t even funny, but I laughed. “You can make my butt sore whenever you want, Ry.”
Ryder laughed, too, and squeezed my hand tighter. “Will do.”
Was that what it was like to be with someone you had feelings for? Both in my chest and pants? It was easy and exciting. I’d never felt so light in my whole life. There was nothing to overthink, because it all just made sense with him.
“You have such a way of putting things. What’s that called?” I said.
“Eloquent?”
“I was gonna say total perv. But yeah. That.”
“Jackass.” He laughed and shoved me. Our hands stayed locked, and he rested his head on my shoulder after.
Ryder didn’t do things like that often, though it had become more common since dinner at that French place.
He was always the one to provide comfort, direction, or guidance.
When he did things like rest his head on my shoulder or curl up to me as the little spoon, it made my body freak out.
Such a deep sense of contentment, while every nerve ending was on fire.
I was more alive with him in the laziest of settings than I had ever been in my life.
When he lifted his head, I said, “What do you think of the suit he picked?”
“Don’t know. Haven't seen it.”
“Didn’t you get measured and fitted?”
“Yeah, but not for anything my brother picked out.” He held off the laugh long enough for me to get the joke. There was no way Miles picked anything for the wedding. “C’mon, man,” he said.
“You know what I mean. Do you like it?”
“It’s fine. I don’t think it’s necessary for the groomsmen to be in black tie tuxedoes, but Bree does, and that’s all that matters.”
“That’s true for most brides, right?” I laughed. “I love your brother to death, but that dude has no style. He used to take fashion tips from me, and I know fuck all about any of that.”
“Don’t say that. I love the way you dress.” His phone rang, and he let go of my hand to fish it from his pocket. I missed it when he did. “Speaking of the groom.” He answered. “What’s up, bro?”
Ryder glanced at me and said, “Yeah,” into the phone. “Yup. On my way to pick it up now.”
I put my eyes back on the road. Ryder continued his conversation with his brother. “Yeah… Nope, all paid in full.” He laughed. “Not that you’d know, being the groom.” He laughed again. “Yours is free, right?”
Gosh, I wished we could tell him. I had this vision of hanging out with my best friend and boyfriend at the same time.
Giving each other shit, laughing, just being comfortable with the two guys that meant the most to me.
And since they’re brothers, they’d feel the same way.
Just… superb vibes, man. Thinking about it made me all tingly.
“Wait, what are you saying?” Ryder’s tone had changed. “I don’t… no, man…. I mean…” Ryder shifted in his seat, facing the passenger window. He sounded pissed, but holding back.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Miles?” I had already turned the music down, but couldn’t hear both sides of the conversation. “That’s… man, I don’t even know what the fuck that is… Uh huh…. So what?… Yeah… Fuck off with that shit, bro. For fucking real.”
I couldn’t get the context, and Ryder wasn't providing any. Just that he was getting more distressed each time he spoke.
“No, no, no, tell me… LISTEN! Tell me if this is what YOU want, Miles?” Ryder said, the most animated he’d been yet.
In the silence, Miles’s voice was small and tinny, but still impossible to make out.
Ryder slumped in the seat, saying nothing for a minute or two. “Okay then… Yeah… Yup… I don’t know… Two fifty, three hundred, I forget… I’ll let you know… Uh huh… Yup, bye.”
He said nothing for a few seconds, just stared at the road ahead after hanging up. When it was clear he wouldn’t explain what just happened, I said, “What the fuck was that?”
“Nothing.” His tone was dead flat.
“Don’t do that. What did he say? You’re clearly pissed off.”
“I’m not pissed off,” he snapped. “It’s nothing. Forget it.”
“Ryder.” I covered his hand with mine. “You’re my boyfriend, right? You gotta tell me what’s going on.”
He flipped his hand to lace our fingers and squeeze mine, but kept his eyes forward. “I’m not in the wedding party anymore.”
I must’ve misheard him. “Wait, what?” I laughed. It had to be a joke.
“Yup. I’ll be attending my brother’s wedding as a guest.”
“I don’t… fucking what? We’re on the way to pick up our suits right now. It’s a week away!”
He took his hand back. “He said if I can’t get a full refund, he’ll pay me for whatever I put out.”
“Are you FUCKING kidding me?” Rage brewed in my gut.
“Nope.”
“WHY? What the actual fuck, man?”
“They want to keep the numbers even. And I’m the one they cut.”
The fury boiled over. “What the actual fuck? What the fuck is that shit? Are you kidding me? Keep the numbers even? That’s absolute fucking dogshit, man. I don’t even know what the fuck to do with that right now.”
The car’s AC must’ve crapped out since I started to sweat. I’d never been so angry, hurt, or upset on someone else’s behalf.
As my energy amped up, his went down. “I know. It’s shitty.”
“You’re his fucking brother, man. What the genuine fuck?”
“Finn, keep your eyes on the road, please.”
“That’s it. I’m fucking done. I’m out of the wedding. He’s not gonna treat MY boyfriend like shit. Fuck that.”
“No, don’t say that. Don’t ruin his wedding. It is what it is. If anything, it saves me three hundred dollars.” He chuckled. “I’ll look way better in one of my own suits than the shitty rental, anyway.”
“No, fuck that.” I activated my car’s voice assistant. “Call Miles.”
As soon as the call screen popped up, Ryder ended it. “It’s shitty, but it is what it is, Finn. It’s his wedding. I asked him if that’s what he wanted, and he said yes. That’s all I need to know.”
“No, Ry. I’m not gonna—”
“Finn. Stop.” His voice went down while his volume went up. “No one is gonna change his mind. It’s not a big deal. Drop it.”
When I glanced at him, there was something I couldn’t name in his eyes.
I didn’t like it, but I shut up. Maybe I needed to give him some time to cool off.
We could always talk more later. After I called Miles and chewed him a gaping new one.
I wouldn’t pull out, not yet, but that motherfucker would know how I felt about it.
We drove in silence for a few minutes. As we approached the light where I’d have to turn to get to the rental place, I said, “Do you wanna go home, or get lunch or something?”
“What? No way!” Ryder’s mood had shifted. “We need to make sure you look fire in your best man suit.” He took my hand. “Also, I need to see if I can get that refund.”
It was unnerving. I squeezed his hand and looked at him. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
I put on my blinker and said, “Okay.”
◆◆◆
There was no refund. The guy kind of laughed at the suggestion. I think he said something like, “The event’s a week away. There’s nothing we can do. Sorry.”
Ryder took it in stride. A little too well.
In fact, his happy-for-me attitude freaked me out.
I thought he’d feel a kind of way, but it was the opposite.
I didn’t need to try my suit on, just grab it and go, but I did after he asked.
He gushed, no other way to say it. I think in another context it might have turned me on, him too, but that wasn’t what was happening.
I suggested we go home once we were done. We needed to talk because I couldn’t understand why he acted that way. He wanted to go to lunch instead, which is how we ended up at a local burger place. I’d been there before, and after an initial spike of “oh shit, what if someone sees us,” I was chill.
The place, a railcar-style diner called Roddy’s Burger Stop, had been in business since the forties or some shit.
Bright red and white booths, chrome everywhere, and the permanent aroma of sizzling meat and onions.
Their handmade patties blew everything else out of the water. But I wasn’t in the mood for food.
Once the anger burned away, and I was left with Ry’s fake-looking smile, it just made my stomach flip.
How could he be so cool about it? I don’t have siblings, but fuck it, Miles was basically my brother.
Had he done that shit to me, it would’ve come to blows.
And if that’s how he treated Ryder, how would he treat me if it came down to it?