Chapter 36
CHAPTER 36
ELIJAH
“ H ave you spoken to Pen?” Gabriel asks.
“What do you mean, spoken to Pen?” a beautifully tanned Caleb asks. “Why would he speak to Pen? Isn’t she in the US with Kris, preparing for her big day?”
I shoot Gabriel a warning look.
“Hang on. What did I miss?” Caleb asks, his gaze flipping back and forth between us.
“Nothing important,” I say. “We’re out talking about your awesome honeymoon.”
“Oh, no, you don’t. No deflecting, big bro. What did I miss?”
The look Caleb sends me tells me he’s serious.
“We’ve put up with silence for fifteen years. You promised, after your divorce, no more secrets.” He turns to his twin. “Gabriel, if mean and moody here won’t tell me what’s going on. It’s up to you, brother.”
Gabriel looks at me and raises an eyebrow. Rebuilding relationships is what I’m doing, I remind myself. It’s why I’m now letting myself be interrogated by my younger brothers.
“Fine,” I say, running a hand through my hair and down my face. “While you were away, someone tried to sabotage my new release. Not only sabotage but leave all my clients vulnerable to industrial espionage. I uncovered the plot by accident, and Gabriel contacted Pen. She came and helped me rectify the problem.”
When I look up, Caleb is staring at me wide-eyed.
“And this is the first I’m hearing about this because?”
I shake my head. “Because, little brother. You were on your honeymoon, and Pen resolved it within a couple of days.”
“So, the news articles I was about to question you on? The ones that I’ve been reading since we landed?”
“True, but limited. It could have been a lot worse had it not been for Pen,” I admit, closing my eyes briefly.
The weight in my chest since Pen left has not lifted. The time we spent together reopened old wounds.
“How was Pen?” Caleb asks, his eyes never leaving my face.
“Good. Getting ready for her wedding. Only six weeks now,” I say, trying to add some enthusiasm to my tone. Wanting, no, needing desperately for my brother to shut up and move on. It’s been bad enough with Gabriel and Leah dropping her name at every opportunity. Even little Callum misses Ant Pen .
The last thing I need to think about is Pen, who is back in Kris’s arms, preparing for her wedding. Not when it hurts this much.
I sense Gabriel’s eyes on me. He’s been very quiet, too quiet. Assessing me.
“When are you flying out for the wedding?” Caleb asks, his eyes once again flipping between us.
“The Thursday before,” he says, but his eyes never leave mine.
“Elijah?”
I move my gaze from Gabriel to Caleb.
“I’m not going,” I tell him, holding his gaze.
Caleb quirks a brow.
“Not going?”
“No—Not going. Pen is aware. We spoke about it. Someone needs to stay with Lottie.”
Caleb crosses his arms over his chest and leans back in his chair.
“You’re not going to Pen’s wedding?” He stares at me wide-eyed, like I’ve lost my mind. “What the fuck, Elijah? After everything.”
Caleb glares at me. It is the same look I got from Gabriel when I told him. Only then it was Leah, who stepped in and broke us apart before my little brother could do anything.
“Look, I can’t,” I tell him quietly, holding my voice steady.
I don’t expect them to understand. I’m not one hundred per cent sure I do.
“Why can’t you?” Caleb’s voice deflates as if he’s giving up on me. “She was your best friend. I’m sure Lottie could stay with one of her friends’ parents.”
Bloody hell, drop it.
I hate talking about feelings. My counsellor explained that as the eldest, I’ve spent years trying to protect my siblings, my parents, from my mistakes, from the world itself. But in doing so, I’ve buried my own wants and needs deep inside. Pen is one of them.
“Because I want her to be happy,” I tell him truthfully after a moment.
A furrow appears between both of my brother’s brows. If it wasn’t for Caleb’s tan, I would struggle to tell them apart.
A dawning crosses Caleb’s face.
“You’re in love with her.”
Gabriel harrumphs at his twin.
“For goodness sake. Newsflash, he’s always been in love with her.”
I grab my beer, placing the bottle to my mouth. Swigging it down.
“Have you told her?” Caleb asks.
As if it’s just that simple.
I drop the bottle away from my mouth and stare at him.
“Why the bloody hell would I want to do that? She’s about to marry someone else, get everything she desires. I know I can be a dick, but I’m not that big of one.”
Caleb’s eyes narrow, and he compresses his lips.
“Oh, I don’t know. Because she’s been in love with you, for like forever!”
“She’s marrying another man,” I snap, really not needing to hear this bullshit.
“Only because she fucking gave up waiting!” He smacks his forehead with his palm. “And here I was, thinking I was the emotionally stunted one.” Gabriel’s sharp tone has both our heads spinning to face him. “You really are dense for someone who’s supposed to be intelligent.”
My head spins, and my skin tingles with discomfort.
“Elijah, Pen has spent years watching you from the sidelines. She’s been there whenever you needed her. She helped raise your daughter when you and Darra were too consumed by anger. She pushed aside her wants and dreams and threw herself into her business. But she’s a woman. Seeing her with Callum, with Lottie. She wants that for herself. Is it so surprising she looked for it? Pen has always been someone to take charge, go after what she wants. She’s no different from Leah in that respect.”
I think back to the number of times Lottie told me Aunty Pen had taken her somewhere or helped her with her homework.
It’s my turn to quirk my brow.
“If she always goes after what she wants, then why, brother dearest, has she never said anything to me? Told me how she feels?”
They both groan, and it’s Caleb who slaps his forehead this time.
I begin to wonder if I really have been that blind and stupid.