Chapter Twelve Kenny
CHAPTER TWELVE
KENNY
H an’s eyes shot open, and he sat up so fast, he almost fell off his bed.
“Whoa, is this how you always wake up?” I laughed. It was rare I woke up before Han, so I’d definitely needed to take advantage of the opportunity to wake him up for once.
“I—I just—I was just…” Han stumbled over his words.
“Weird dream?” I asked, and he laughed awkwardly.
“You could say that.”
“What was it about?” I asked, and his cheeks immediately flushed.
“I, ha ha… uh… nothing, really.” I didn’t buy that for one second, but I also wasn’t going to force Han to talk.
“Hey, it was just a dream. Everything’s fine,” I said, hoping to help Han snap out of his funk.
He nodded. “Right, just a dream.” Then he shook his head, as if to shake the dream from his mind, and he was suddenly normal again. “Time to get ready?”
I nodded. Han’s weird mood did nothing to wipe the smile off my face. Even if today was going to be difficult—we planned to go to my parents’ house and break the news that Jackie and I had broken up and let them know I was with Han now—really just the first step on the way to getting Han his papers.
I got déjà vu as I sat on my parents’ living room couch eating snacks prepared by my dad to stall a difficult conversation again. This time it was a bowl of freshly cut watermelon, pineapple, cantaloupe, and mango with tajin seasoning. I stuck a toothpick into a piece of fruit and ate it. My dad was the type to get offended if you didn’t eat whatever he’d prepared right away. I had to admit, the combination of sweet and tangy with a little kick helped calm my nerves. Everyone ate at least a couple of pieces of fruit before my parents started looking at us expectantly, waiting for me to say something.
“Jackie and I broke up.” I finally just came out with it.
“Why?” My mom’s voice was calm despite her eyebrows shooting up.
“She made me choose between her and Han…” I took a breath, then slipped my hand into Han’s, and he nodded reassuringly. Whether he was acting or being supportive, he was doing a great job.
“How dare she? Why would she—oh… oh, I see.” My dad’s eyes shifted to my hand in Han’s, then back and forth from the two of us. “Have you two been…?”
I realized the implication was that I’d cheated on Jackie. I hated that I had to let them think that if this was going to work.
“It’s been Han for a while,” I finally said. I looked away, feeling myself getting flustered. It was naive to think I could fool my parents when I’d just asked their permission to marry Jackie. I felt terrible about letting everyone think I’d cheated on her, especially since that information would probably reach her eventually, and I didn’t want to hurt her. But if this was going to work, everyone had to believe Han and I had been in love much longer than we’d been pretending.
My mom reached for Han’s hand. “I always knew it was you.” Han’s cheeks darkened. For all my talk about being a good actor, I couldn’t find words to save my life. Luckily, my teaching seemed to have made a difference on Han, because he was going along just fine.
“I knew it was Kenny, too. I’ve loved him longer than I can remember.” Han tenderly ran his thumb along the back of my hand and batted his eyelashes at me. I smiled. I was so proud. If Han acted this well during the engagement, we’d be golden. My parents approved of Han much more enthusiastically than they did Jackie. It wasn’t coming out to my parents I was worried about. They knew I was bi, so I figured they’d approve. I just didn’t think they would buy it.
“Are you happy?” my mom asked.
“Yes,” I said without thinking. And I was. I hadn’t been lying when I told Han I was sure about this. I was more than sure. I was eager, and excited, and, yes, happy .
“Of course he’s happy. You’ve been inseparable since you were eight. I figured it was only a matter of time before you realized,” Dad said.
“Realized? You mean you knew before he did?” Han grinned and leaned forward, ready for a story. I let go of him to cover my face. I was sure whatever they had to say would be royally embarrassing.
They proceeded to tell Han about me raving about how cool he was before we were ever friends, at the ripe young age of seven. Han looked surprised, probably because I’d gone out of my way to avoid him back then. I told myself I was jealous of how cool he was, but no, Han had definitely been my first crush. And now he knew. Lovely.
“I thought you hated me! You were such a jerk in first grade.” Han laughed.
“Nah, you were a cutie,” I said, trying to sound flirty, but my face must have been cherry red. Han would never let me live this down.
After we finished off the fruit, Han and I said our goodbyes, then headed out to my car. Next stop was Han’s family.
“So, baby Kenny had a little crush on me, huh?” Han said when we got in the car, showing off his dimply grin.
“Shut up.” I started driving and turned on the radio, but Han didn’t get the hint.
“What was so cool about me?” he asked, this time no grin. He looked genuinely curious.
I sighed, embarrassed. I hadn’t been shy around Han since back then.
“Remember in first grade when you got Alec out in dodgeball?” I laughed. Alec was a bully then, and when Han’s dodgeball hit him in the groin, I was all heart eyes. I was infatuated for a year before we ever spoke.
“Alec?” Han asked.
“Oh my God, you don’t even remember. You’re breaking my heart right now.” I pouted.
“Refresh my memory.” Han turned in his seat to face me with a soft smile.
“In gym class. Alec pushed me, and then you threw a ball at his crotch. He didn’t bother me after that.”
Han grinned suspiciously big, even though he was biting it back.
“You asshole! You totally remember!”
Han laughed. “Yeah, I remember. You ignored me after that, though, so I thought you hated me.”
“No, you saved me! You were, like, my hero.” I took my eyes off the road for a moment to give Han a quick fluttery-lashed look.
We laughed and reminisced the rest of the ride to Han’s family’s house, but the laughter died when we got there. I had to admit I was nervous, and Han must have been, too.
I parked on the street, since the driveway had two cars in it. One car was Nacho’s, and the other I recognized as Han’s older cousin Mariana’s. Han, Leti, and Mariana had been raised together as siblings ever since Han came to the States. While Mariana and Leti still lived at home, Han had gotten out right after high school.
We waited in the car for a while before heading inside. It started raining, and the patter of water hit my windshield in a soothing rhythm. I was emotionally exhausted and needed a minute before immersing myself in a household of well-intentioned people with minimal boundaries.
“You ready?” I asked Han.
“Should we do this another time?” Han asked.
“I don’t think so, but we can wait here for a minute,” I said, secretly grateful for an excuse to stall so I could get my shit together for Han’s sake.
“Just for a minute,” Han said, blowing out a slow breath.
“Hey, they love me, remember?” I showed off a toothy grin.
“You’re right, you’re right. Let’s just rip off the Band-Aid,” Han said, and we jogged to the house to keep as dry as possible from the drizzling rain. Han stood frozen in the doorway, so I knocked on the door myself.
A muffled “Come in!” came from the living room, so I opened the unlocked door and followed Han inside.
“Hey, Tío Nacho,” Han said, and I waved. Nacho nodded a greeting without looking away from the football game on the TV. A timer went off as we walked into the living room, the spicy smell of chicken and green chile filling the small house.
Before I knew it, a baby was placed in my arms by Han’s tía Mary. “You wanna go with your tío?” she asked in her baby voice, but I was already holding him. It felt like an honor being called the baby’s tío. Mateo immediately reached for me, giving me a huge toothless smile. “Can you two watch him really quick? I gotta get the enchiladas. Hope you’re hungry!” She was already back in the kitchen and carefully taking enchiladas out of the oven by the time she finished talking.
“Sure,” I said redundantly. “How you doing, little man?”
“Mami! Who’s here?” a voice called out from the laundry room.
“Your primos!” Tía Mary’s voice boomed, even though the laundry room was connected to the kitchen. Mary and Ignacio—
Nacho for short—had basically adopted me as another nephew, so I called them my tíos just like Han did.
“Oh, hey, Han! Hi, Kenny! Sorry you got stuck with my baby! I’ll grab him as soon as I’m done loading the dryer.”
“It’s cool. I like hanging out with Mateo, isn’t that right?” I asked in my baby voice, and he answered by grabbing my glasses with his sticky baby hand. “Hey, I need those to see!” I said playfully, and Han grabbed the glasses from Mateo’s grip, replacing them with Nacho’s car keys from the wall—Mateo’s favorite toy. Han cleaned the glasses with his shirt before carefully putting them back on my face.
Leti came running out of their room and hugged Han from behind, then took Mateo from my arms and started cooing at him. Between me, Han, Mariana, Leti, Tío Nacho, and Tía Mary, that baby must have been the most loved child in all of New Mexico.
Once the enchiladas had cooled, everyone gathered around the dinner table. I wasn’t so hungry because of all the fruit I’d nervously eaten earlier, but Han’s tíos weren’t the type of people you could refuse a meal from either, so I ate anyway. With Mary’s cooking as good as it was, I wasn’t complaining.
I waited for Han to make his announcement, but he kept his mouth full, surely a strategy to keep from having to talk.
Mariana scoffed at her phone before dropping it not-so-gently back onto the table.
“What’s wrong with you?” Nacho said through a mouthful of enchilada, spots of sauce clinging to his mustache.
“ICE raided a quinceanera. A fucking quinceanera! Look.” She turned her phone so everyone could see a video of what should have been a party. But half the adults were being handcuffed, and the quinceanera and the rest of the kids bawled their eyes out.
“Are you kidding? Why am I not surprised?” Leti huffed. Nacho grunted and shook his head while Mary clicked her tongue. My cheeks got hot. How much more evil could you be than to use a fifteen-year-old’s coming-of-age celebration to rip the family apart…?
My fork trembled in my hand as I looked at Han, who hadn’t even stopped eating. He didn’t usually show much emotion, even if he had to be feeling it.
“Let’s not discuss these things at the table, okay?” Mary said, her gaze set on Han, who didn’t look up from his plate as he shoved a spoonful of refried beans into his mouth.
A guilty look shot across Mariana’s face as she mouthed, Sorry. I wondered if Han would change the subject with our announcement. Any minute now. Right?
But even as everyone’s plates were picked clean, nothing. It wasn’t like Nacho and Mary wouldn’t be accepting. They’d raised Leti, who was practically the queerest person you could raise. I texted Han in case he was having second thoughts.
Kenny: we still doing this?
Han: can you?
I reached for Han’s hand under the table and squeezed, then rested our hands on his bouncing thigh, which finally slowed down. I cleared my throat.
“Um, we wanted to tell you all something,” I said, then pulled Han’s hand up from under the table and held it between our plates for everyone to see.
“Yes…?” Mary said with a knowing look in her eye. She glanced down at our hands and back to my eyes. I glanced over at Han, who nodded his confirmation.
“Han and I are together,” I said.
Silence. Probably the first time since I’d known this family that there had been an extended moment of silence. Soon enough, Mateo broke the quiet with a shrill baby-giggle. I didn’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t exactly this.
Tío Nacho was the first to speak.
“Well…” he started, taking his time chewing before whatever was coming next, “I kind of figured.”
“Oh, you kind of figured? No one else?” Mariana laughed. Had they also assumed Han and I were together?
“Good job getting this one to commit to something.” Mariana squeezed Han’s shoulder, then fed some baby food to Mateo. Han glared at her, his leg bouncing again.
“Thanks.” I smiled, exuding faux confidence at the achievement I fake earned.
Tía Mary reached across the table and put her hand on Han’s, then gave him a teary-eyed smile. “Mijo, I’m so glad you finally feel safe telling us. You know we love you no matter who you love.”
Heat rose in my cheeks. Han’s whole family seemed like they’d just been waiting for him to come out. Even though they had already come to the correct incorrect conclusion, this was a good thing for our cover. If we didn’t even have to try to convince our families, then convincing strangers would be a breeze. I grinned. Maybe this would actually work.