Chapter Thirty-Six Kenny
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
KENNY
I took a double shift on my day off to please Daniel, hoping for some good news. But when I got to work, there was still no Han. It looked like I would have to wait until my break to bring it up with him again.
Every time I walked into the kitchen, I felt so off knowing Han wasn’t back yet. The day dragged on and on, but once my break finally came around, I rapped my knuckles on Daniel’s office door and waited until I heard an exasperated, “Come in, Kenny.”
I opened the door wide enough to stick my head inside. “How’d your call with Han go?”
“I’m still not convinced it wasn’t him who was stealing. I don’t want to hire back a thief.”
I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying something I might regret. “It wasn’t him. First you thought it was Juan, but money still kept going missing. Now it’s Han? Where’s your evidence?”
“How do you know money kept going missing?” Daniel asked, eyes narrowing in on me.
“I’ve been counting it.” Jesus, he was really about to accuse every damn body. “You told me to keep an eye out for suspicious activity. I’ve been trying to figure out who it was.”
Daniel clenched his fists. “I told you to watch out for suspicious people , not to go behind my back double-checking my math.”
Was Daniel really mad about me counting the money? “I’m sorry. I thought that’s what you wanted me to do. Misunderstanding, I guess.”
“I’ve got it handled.”
“All right,” I said, holding my hands up in surrender. “So… I hate to bring this up again, but—”
Daniel shushed me with a flick of his hand. “I said I would think about calling Han. I’m still thinking.”
Oh. I had gone into my shift hoping he had already hired Han back. I wasn’t used to not having Daniel’s favor. I guess this was what it might have been like for Han working here. But no, there was no way Han would ever have enough say-so with Daniel to even ask for a favor. I tried to push down the swirling wave of anger. I knew Daniel was using Han as leverage to get me to pick up extra shifts. I just hoped he didn’t hire another server before hiring Han back. That would mean I’d have nothing to offer in exchange for Han’s job anymore.
“Well, how long do you need to think?” I asked. I wasn’t exactly happy to work overtime indefinitely if Daniel wasn’t going to make good on his side of the deal.
“I don’t know. The more you ask me, the longer I’ll need.” Daniel rolled his eyes, and I let out an exasperated sigh before pretending to zip my lips shut. I would play his game as long as I needed to if it meant getting Han his job back.
“Oh, and, Kenny?” Daniel said right when I turned around to leave.
“Yeah, boss?”
“I meant what I said about going behind my back counting money. I already counted it today, and I don’t need you undermining me.”
“Yes, sir,” I said. It was odd for Daniel to have counted the money before the day was over. Maybe he meant that he’d count it later and he misspoke. I rolled my eyes as I walked out of the kitchen. Daniel was so incompetent it hurt. So when the end of my shift came, I made it a point to sneakily count the money anyway.
And we were short.
Which made no sense. If Daniel had already counted the money and found we were short, why would he still say he suspected Han, who hadn’t been in since he was fired? Did he really suspect me? Fuck, if he thought it was me, how could I possibly make things up to Han? But none of it added up—literally.
Then it hit me.
If I was right about this, it wasn’t weird at all. It actually made perfect sense.
I drove home on autopilot, stressing the whole way over what I was going to do about Daniel. Was he really stealing the money this whole time? Maybe I could use this as leverage to try to get Han his job back? But then again, I didn’t have any proof, so what if I was wrong? That would definitely lose me my job, not to mention Han’s. No, I would have to catch him in the act if I was going to make this work.
When I got to the apartment, I lazily trudged up the stairs, fumbling with my keys between my fingers. But instead of getting to finally relax for the night, when I got to the top of the steps, standing there was the last person I wanted to see, ever.
“Didn’t I ask you to give me space?” I said through a sigh.
“Can we talk? Can I come in?” Jackie ignored my question.
I was too exhausted to stand outside and argue, so I reluctantly unlocked my door and led Jackie over to the couch. I wished I could just let sleep consume me right then and there, but I forced my eyes to stay open to keep from pissing Jackie off. The thought of living the entire rest of my life this way was already excruciating.
She sat down on the couch next to me and nervously ran her hands over her work skirt. I didn’t bother asking her any questions. She’d get it out eventually, and the less talking, the better.
Before she could get a word in, there was another knock on the door. Well, if you could even call it a knock. It sounded like someone was banging their whole palm against the door hard enough to burst a blood vessel.
I groaned and closed my eyes. I’d just sat down.
“Aren’t you gonna get that?” Jackie asked.
I forced myself to get up off the couch, dragging my feet as I made my way toward the door. As soon as I turned the knob, it swung open from the outside, and this time Leti marched in.
“So, let me get this straight, ’cause I know I must have heard something wrong. You left my cousin—” They stopped in their tracks when they saw Jackie on the couch, then gave me a look of disgust that made me want to crawl into a hole and hide forever. “Are you fucking kidding me, Kenny? You seriously left Han for this bitch? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I… It’s complicated” was all I could bring myself to say.
“What the fuck did you do to him?” Leti stormed over to Jackie and yanked her off the couch by her arm, then shoved her hard.
As much as I would have loved to see Leti kick Jackie’s ass, I couldn’t let it happen. I ran in between them.
“Leti, she’s pregnant!”
Then Leti stopped, jaw open as the news sank in. I’d half expected Leti to have already seen it on Instagram, but then again, it’s not like they followed Jackie. They hated Jackie, so much that it wasn’t even fun to hate-follow her. Leti looked between me and Jackie for a few moments, dumbfounded. Then their eyebrows lifted in an ohh kind of expression. “And Han didn’t want kids. Are you telling me it was mutual?”
Jackie scoffed. “Even if I wasn’t pregnant, Kenny would have left Han for me eventually. It was just a stupid lapse in judgment that they were even together in the first place. It was all just a mistake. Right, babe?” There was a warning in her tone. I hated how territorial she got when anyone threatened our relationship. Apparently, even when we weren’t together.
My cheeks went hot. I couldn’t deny Jackie what she wanted right now. But I also couldn’t bring myself to talk about Han that way. None of it was a mistake. How could I possibly say such a thing? Instead, I said nothing. That message must have been loud and clear for Leti.
“I don’t know why you’re surprised,” Jackie said, rolling her eyes. “What could Han possibly offer Kenny that I can’t? Han’s a deadbeat. His life is never going to get any better than it is right now. Obviously Kenny was ready to come back to someone with an actual future. Who he can have a family with. He deserves better than—” Jackie finished her thought with a gasp as Leti’s hand met her cheek.
Then they lunged at Jackie, and I quickly had to wrap my arms around Leti and waddle them backward toward the door.
“You fucking bitch! How fucking dare you! Kenny, get the fuck off me!” But Leti wasn’t struggling to get closer to Jackie anymore. Instead, they turned around and strode the rest of the way to the door on their own.
Then they left, and I forced myself to close the door, the resounding silence screaming at me to open it back up and run after them, but I couldn’t. Even if it meant closing the door on my relationship with Han and his entire family. I didn’t have any other choice. A few tears fell down my cheeks as I turned to face Jackie.
She had tears of her own streaming down her face as she cupped her hand over where Leti had slapped her cheek. I wished I could have felt sorry for her, but all I felt was anger. She had slapped me like that so many times before, but when she got slapped herself, she wanted pity. Well, I wasn’t giving it to her. Not this time.
But it wasn’t just shock or fear in her teary eyes. It was anger. And I knew then exactly what that meant. Leti may have been trying to help, but they had just all but guaranteed Jackie would make good on her threat against Han.
I went to work the next day with an unbearable pit in my stomach. Luckily Daniel didn’t have me working extra, so I was done after my morning shift was up. I got in my car as soon as I could, ready to fix the mess I’d made. It wasn’t until I sat down in the driver’s seat that I checked my phone to find a missed call and a text from Jackie.
Jackie: Come over. We need to talk.
Reading the text hollowed out my chest. She was going to do it. She was going to report Han. I shot back a quick “on my way” text before pulling out of the employee parking lot and speeding over. I had already been planning on heading over after work, so I told myself nothing had changed. I had to only hope she hadn’t already made the call. I had to hurry.
The second I pulled into her driveway, I rushed to the door, but she opened it before I could ring the bell.
“You’re here.” She smiled at me the way she did before we broke up.
“You told me to come, so I’m here,” I said, trying to hide the disgust in my tone. I was so angry with her, and I didn’t know how to ever not be angry with her.
She smiled again, then walked to her living room, leaving the door open for me to follow. I trailed behind her, the lump in my throat growing with each step.
She sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to her. I sat, jaw clenched.
“I need you to know that I still love you. No matter what, okay, Kenny?” She reached for my hand, and I flinched before realizing I needed to appease her. I took her hand in mine, the touch sending a cold chill up my spine. Not the good kind of chill. It was the chill you get when you’re walking through a haunted house and realize the hand you’re holding doesn’t belong to the person you thought. Jackie was not the person I thought.
“Then why are you doing this to me?” I asked, trying not to let my voice crack.
She squeezed my hand, but I let mine lie limp in hers. “For us , Kenny. Of course I’m doing this for us.”
She leaned in for a kiss, and I just felt so incredibly violated that she would even try that. I turned my head so she kissed my cheek, and something snapped inside me at having her lips on my skin. “There will never be an ‘us,’ Jackie. You should know that.”
She pulled her hand away, looking wounded for a moment. Then anger flashed in her eyes. “Then I’ll just make that little phone call.”
I grabbed her hand back but glared at her the whole time. “Is this what you want, Jackie? You want me to be your little bitch for the rest of my life? Because I’ll do that. I’m your bitch. Are you happy? Whatever you want me to do, I’ll fucking do it.” Jackie looked at me with wide eyes, as if she hadn’t expected her plan to actually work. “You want to fucking hold hands, fine. You want to kiss me? Go ahead. But this?” I said, holding up my hand in hers. “Will never be consensual. And no matter what you force me to do, you can’t blackmail me into loving you again.”
“I…” Tears welled in Jackie’s eyes. “We really had something special, Ken. I think if you just give me another chance…”
I bit my tongue and shut my eyes to keep from exploding. I was pretty sure she noticed, because her demeanor changed then.
“Well, if you’re going to be like that, then what’s stopping me from making that call?”
That’s when I pulled my hand away from hers and stood up to face her. “You think that will make me love you again? If you do that, how could I ever even look at you? How do you sleep at night, knowing what you’re doing to Han? What you’re doing to me ? You say you love me, but look at how much pain you’re putting me through. How could you treat someone you love like that? How could I love someone who would do this to me? I need you to really listen to me here, Jackie. I will never love you again.”
Jackie’s jaw hung open as she sputtered out her next words. “How—how can you say that? You’re acting like everything we’ve been through means nothing to you! Are you really just gonna abandon me, like my dad did to my mom?”
“I think I get it now, actually.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of this whole thing. I knew she was trying to make me feel like I’d be a bad father if I didn’t let her walk all over me, but there was more to it than that. “You’re afraid of being alone, just like I was. That’s why we lasted for so long. Not because we worked, or loved each other, or made any kind of sense together whatsoever, but because neither of us wanted to be left alone. You’re so scared of being left behind that you’d rather be with someone you’ve made to hate you than look yourself in the mirror. And I was the same way!
“I have bent over backwards at every turn just to make you happy, just so you wouldn’t leave me. Fuck, I’m even doing it now, again . But this isn’t who I am anymore, and you’re stuck with a version of me that doesn’t even exist. I’m not doing this because I want you to be happy. This is you bullying me and it’s the only choice I can make, but you’ve shown me—and Han has shown me—that this isn’t who I am anymore. So if you want to be with a ghost, then fine. But know the person you’re bullying isn’t the one you fell in love with or the one who fell for you. There’s nothing between us, and there’s nothing either of us can do to change that.”
Jackie sat there, dumbfounded for a moment. She wiped an angry tear from her eye, then patted the space next to her on the couch. I stared at her in surprise.
“You’re my bitch, then. Sit down.”