Chapter 37
CHAPTER 37
MARIAM
S hocked to see my brother at my door, I let him in, speechless, and followed him to my kitchen. Brian unwrapped the scarf from around his neck, shrugged out of his jacket, and hung both over the back of a stool at the island.
After that, he wordlessly headed over to the coffee machine and went about getting everything ready as if he was doing it alone in his own home. I frowned, but I wouldn’t even have been here if not for him, and technically, he was the one renting this place, so I supposed I couldn’t stop him if he’d been craving this machine’s coffee.
I didn’t quite understand it, but I stood there silently and watched him, still trying to fight my tears. My chest stung like someone had dipped my heart in nettles.
Brian gripped the sides of the counter when he was done with the machine, his back to me. He inhaled deeply, his shoulders rising and falling. It was crystal clear he was still battling with what had happened last night, and I absolutely couldn’t blame him for it.
“We’ve been together for a while now,” I blurted out, my stomach twisting with guilt over having lied to him before. “Arland and me. We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks and I’m sorry we didn’t tell you. We should have.”
“Yeah, you really should’ve.” He inhaled another deep breath before he finally released the counter and turned to look at me. He cocked his hip and leaned against the spot where his hand had been before, his arms crossed over his chest. “I could’ve helped you with Mom and Dad. I could’ve protected you from him, Mariam.”
“Protected me?” I frowned, my head shaking. “No. What? What do you mean?”
Brian shoved a hand through his hair, his gaze drifting to the window. “I can’t help but think there’s a reason you didn’t tell me about it, Mims, and I’m really hoping that the most obvious reason I’ve come up with is wrong, but you’re young, you’re naive, and you’re pretty fucking innocent, so?—”
“Absolutely not,” I interrupted. I’d never heard my voice ring with such complete certainty as it did with that statement. “I didn’t need you to protect me from him. I’m twenty-eight, not eight. I appreciate you looking out for me, but you’re wrong to think I’m some helpless little girl whose virtue was stolen. I went into this relationship willingly and with my eyes wide open. I wanted it just as much as he did, if not more.”
“You’re sure about that?” He cocked his head at me. “Arland spoke to me last night. Explained that you’d agreed to keep things on the downlow until after you’d both learned how to accept your feelings for each other. After I left him, I realized I hadn’t asked him exactly what he’d expected you to accept. Whether it was just the age difference or?—”
“It wasn’t just the age difference.” I dragged in a deep breath, steadying myself but firmly holding his gaze. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you earlier, but don’t turn this into something it isn’t. I just didn’t want to upset you, that’s all. I was really not sure about what any of it meant until recently and I figured it was unnecessary to hurt you if it was probably just going to be a fling or something.”
His jaw ticked. “But you’re sure now?”
A heavy sigh fell from my nostrils, but I nodded, my eyes finally filling with the tears that had been threatening since he’d knocked. “I’ve fallen completely in love with Arland over the last few weeks. It’s not just a fling. It’s not some cheap thrill to pass my time or his. I’m in love with him, Brian.”
He groaned, his head hanging again before he glanced back up at me. “I want you to know that you can always talk to me about anything, Mariam. I know I’ve said it to you before, but I also know that we’ve grown apart over the years and I realize that was mostly my fault, but I’m always going to be here for you. I can’t promise I won’t be a judgmental older brother sometimes, but I promise I mean well.”
As I opened my mouth to reply, he went on. “I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch as often as I should’ve when you were a kid, but you’re my sister, Mimi. You should never have to feel like you need to keep shit from me to protect me or not to upset me. It’s my job to protect you , not the other way around.”
“Yes, and I love that, but of course I’m going to protect you too. In this case, it may have been slightly misguided of me and I accept that we should’ve told you, but try to understand it from my point of view. I’m only here through January but now I’m head over heels in love with a man who probably doesn’t love me back and who may or may not still be seeing his ex-wife, who is married to his brother. It’s a complete mess. Do you really blame me for not telling you?”
“Arland still seeing Lisa?” Brian stared at me for a beat before he burst out laughing. His head shook hard as he forced out the words between chuckles. “Where did you get a crazy idea like that?”
“I…” I trailed off. “I don’t know. I didn’t think that until last night, but why else would she have called me his mistress ?”
“Who knows? I imagine her vocabulary is as good as her personality. But I can guarantee Arland would never hop back into bed with that rabid wolverine.”
“Okay, but he sure seemed worried about what she thought,” I said. “And why is she butting her nose into his business?”
He shrugged. “Lisa just doesn’t like it when she thinks Arland’s life is going too well. With a successful new venture and a new girlfriend in his life, she was going to try to stir the pot at some point. There’s nothing she loves more than making things difficult for him.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “Personally, I think it’s guilt over what she did and it’s just manifesting in strange ways, but I honestly don’t know. I doubt a panel of mental health experts would be able to get to the bottom of everything that’s wrong with that woman.”
I paused for a moment, absorbing what he’d just said. “You really don’t think there’s anything going on between them anymore?”
“Not if she was the last woman on earth.” Brian chuckled and shook his head. “Despite what’s been going on since you got to town, I trust him with my life. I wouldn’t have started a business like this with him otherwise. And I am dead certain there’s nothing between them but bad memories.”
“You’re sure?”
Brian nodded, then fixed our coffee before he finally strode toward the island and came to sit down with me. After passing my mug, a faraway look crept into his eyes and a small smile formed on his lips.
“Arland was one of the first friends I made when I moved out here. He helped me get settled into my first place. He introduced me to his friends and invited me skiing with them. That was only a few years after the divorce, but even then, he was completely over Lisa. If you ask me, the only thing that has hurt him about this for all these years is the fact that his brother betrayed him. Not her but Smith. He’s the one who hurt Arland most.”
I wrapped my fingers around the mug and blew on it. Steam scattered across the surface of the liquid. After taking a few seconds to process, I glanced back up at my brother. “I really wish we’d had this conversation before, but I guess that’s another reason why I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to cause strain in your relationship with Arland because I knew how close you had been to the guy you eventually started your business with, so when I learned it was the same man…”
I sighed. “I’m just sorry, Bri. I was unsure about everything, from how you would take the age difference, to whether your business would survive, to if I could accept such a huge gap in our ages myself. But I do wish I’d spoken to you, especially right now. I was awake most of last night wondering if maybe he was still in love with her.”
My brother snorted. “Not a chance. Aside from her being a she-demon, he’s also just not like that. Like I said, he’s a good man. I’ll admit that the age difference threw me off. I mean, it’s huge, but the more I’ve been thinking about it, the more I’ve been realizing that you were always going to fall for an older man. You’re too smart and too wise for guys your own age.”
“Was this before or after you thought that he’d lured your innocent sister into bed with his wily charms?” I teased, finally relaxing enough to just have a conversation with my brother that was long overdue.
Brian narrowed his eyes at me. “It was during. I never really believed that you needed protection from him, but I had to be sure. Ultimately, you’re my family. That means you’re my priority. No matter what.”
Unable to help myself, I reached out and squeezed his arm. “Thanks, Brian.”
He covered my hand with his own, and after searching my gaze for another beat, he sighed and flashed me a tiny smile. “Arland is kind and honest, and he can provide so damn well for you. It doesn’t hurt that you might stick around because of him. It might just take me a minute before I’ll be able to completely accept this, but I am happy for you, Mimi.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly. “That’s the best I ever could’ve hoped for, but I’m not sure there’s anything to be happy about. You heard him last night. It didn’t sound like he feels the same way I do.”
Brian groaned, a pained expression crossing his features before he finally shook his head. “God, I wish I was a worse person, but I’m not, so I’m just going to go ahead and tell you the truth. Even though I really should’ve used this situation to my advantage.”
“Your heart has always been incredible.”
“Arland loves you, Mariam.” His nose wrinkled. “Shit, that’s weird to say, but it’s true. He loves you more than he’s ever loved anyone.”
“As much as I want to believe you, he denied just last night that we were ever together and he threw the age gap out there as a reason why it would never work.” Pain seared my heart and suddenly my vision was swimming with tears again. “I really wish that he did love me, but he doesn’t.”
“He only said all those things because he thought that was what you would want.” He picked up his coffee and took a few sips, then brought his gaze back to mine. “Don’t let him go that easily, Mimi, but also don’t make it too easy on him. He does love you. I looked into his eyes when he told me and he wasn’t lying. Just make him understand that if he ever pretends to be ashamed of you again, I’ll hit him where it hurts.”
“In the balls?”
Brian cringed. “In the heart. Jeez, what kind of monster do you think I am?”
I chuckled through the tears, leaning forward to give my brother a big hug. His arms folded around me, holding me tight. He finished his coffee and headed out, sending me a pointed look over his shoulder from the door.
“You’re expected at work in less than an hour. Usually, I’d tell you to take the day off, but it’s not that kind of week.”
“I’m glad for it. I’ll see you soon.” Once he was gone, I knew I had a lot to think about, but I turned my attention toward getting ready to get down to the resort. Once I arrived, the day went by in a complete blur.
So did the next.
There were tons of guests. As one of the core team members, I not only had to wear a smile at all times but I also had to bring my A-game, and I did. Although I was very much not okay, I managed to get through the first two days of opening week without bursting into tears every second minute and without throwing myself at Arland’s feet.
We worked into the evening on day two of opening week, and I was exhausted by the time I stopped by my office to gather my things. My cheeks were hurting from all the fake smiling I’d been doing, and since I hadn’t really been sleeping much, my eyes were stinging and watery.
I was dragging my feet and wondering if I should just sleep in the office. When I spotted a bright orange sticky note just like the ones Arland and I used to leave for each other stuck to the back of my door, a jolt of energy suddenly shot through me. I blinked hard. Was I dreaming or hallucinating? I was almost too scared to breathe as I stumbled over, instantly recognizing the neat, masculine handwriting on the note.
Meet me at the Center Tree and let me explain
All my love
~ A
My pulse skyrocketed, my palms suddenly sweaty. I held the note gently in my hands, rereading it just to make sure it was real. While he’d apparently been around the last couple days, I hadn’t seen him at all.
Honestly, I’d started wondering if he was even still at work at all—or if he had any intention of ever speaking to me again. I ran my thumb over the indentations in the paper, finally allowing a shred of hope to take root in my soul.