Chapter 18
Two days later, Gwyneth told Teddy he could take Byk home. She said he had to keep him calm, make sure he rested, and that Teddy should be with him at all times. Before he could say anything, Mal told him he was relieved of his duties for the immediate future. Gratefully, Teddy hugged Mal, who stiffened for a moment, then returned the embrace.
“Take care of him, okay?”
Too overcome with emotion, Teddy nodded. He got to the infirmary as Dr. Hamilton was finishing up Byk’s discharge information. She smiled at him when he entered, and once again, Teddy choked up. He’d never really had a lot of use for humans, beyond needing to shop and things like that. This woman had shown him and Byk so much kindness, and he was humbled by it.
“Do you want me to carry you?” he asked Byk.
“I want to walk,” he replied. “Will you hold my hand?”
Teddy laced their fingers together and smiled when Byk leaned on him.
“I’m scared,” he admitted.
“We all are, but we’re going to face everything together, head-on.”
“You don’t have to,” Byk said, sadness obvious in his voice. “I know this isn’t what you hoped for, and?—”
“And you will shut up. You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner, a mate. You are good, kind, and your smell drives me up a wall. My bear wants to push you down and take you here in the hall, to mark you so you’ll never doubt who you belong to.”
“I belong to you, for as long as you’ll have me.”
“My love,” Teddy said softly, “eternity isn’t nearly long enough.”
He pulled Byk to him and luxuriated in the warmth and scent that enveloped him. He could happily lose himself in this man and spend the remainder of their lives exploring each other.
“Teddy?”
Byk’s voice pulled Teddy from his thoughts. “Yes?”
“Thank you for… you know, not giving up on me.”
He wanted to ask who’d give up on someone they loved, but he already knew the answer to that. Indifferent parents, a brother who wasn’t part of his life growing up. Very few friends that Teddy knew about.
“I can’t give up on you. You’re all my bear thinks about. He no longer desires to go fishing. Instead, he would prefer to remain here and watch you sleep or eat or bathe or work. He is as enthralled by you as I am. So no, there will be no walking away for us. At least not as long as you’re with us.”
When Byk smiled, it lit up Teddy’s entire outlook. Funny how such a simple thing could mean so much. Meeting this man had created a shift in how Teddy saw the world. He didn’t want to be a bodyguard, but he did want to keep Byk from harm. He wanted to coddle him, to make every wish come true.
“I love you, I hope you know that.”
“I kinda had that impression, yes,” Byk replied.
“Before I met you, I thought love and partners were unimportant. I figured I had no need for them, unlike Ivan. Then I met this bull and my bear screamed to be near him, to comfort him, to be shown kindness. He wanted to sleep in a stall of poop just so he could be with the bull. Never have I thought I’d do that.” He stroked a hand over Byk’s arm. “But I would gladly do it every day, if it meant I got to spend it with you.”
Byk laughed, and it was a balm to Teddy’s soul. “I would prefer the bed, if you don’t mind. Sleeping in a stall was never my idea of a good thing, though it was far better than the room they kept me in. After they took me out, Dr. Hamilton had to give me injections to fix my hooves, which had become soft due to the urine-soaked hay they left me in.
He shuddered, and Teddy squeezed him. He had no idea how to make things like these memories go away, or even if he should. Byk deserved a happy life, and if Teddy could help with that, he’d do so gladly.
“What can I do?”
A quick shake of the head. “Nothing. I’ve got to learn to cope. Every day I remind myself I’m no longer in that room, no longer dealing with bloody hooves, no longer crying to be let go. Now I’m free and safe and happy.”
“Are you? Happy, I mean.”
“You’re kidding, right? Do you know, when I was in school, girls would talk about their boyfriends, and it would be how sexy they were, how good they smelled, how they flashed money, or how they had a cool car. It was never about how the boys treated them. I never understood that. You’d think that would be the most important part of life, because that car will be sold in a few years, that smell is probably just deodorant, that money could disappear, but being treated well? That was something that would be there always.” His cheeks pinked. “Or at least it should be.”
“You had a very adult way of looking at relationships. Most people only care about what’s in it for them. The people Ivan was with came for the sex or the drinks he bought them. It was a very temporary exchange, but never something that could become anything more permanent. And he’s okay with that. If it works for him, I’m happy, but that’s not what I want out of my life. Now that I’ve met you, I want it all. A home, a family, a mate. I want a true future, not something meaningless.”
Byk snuggled in closer, and Teddy put a hand on his side. “I’ll tell you something, but you have to promise not to laugh at me.”
“I would never.”
“When I was a kid, I dreamed about being with someone who’d love me, despite what I thought were my flaws. I mean, I could understand them falling for Connor, but me? I wasn’t half as good as he was, so I thought I’d have to settle. Then this big bear lumbers into my life and shows me that I can have it all. Love, acceptance, touches—oh, and brushing. I’m a big fan of that.”
“We can do that every day if you want,” Teddy promised. “Nothing makes me happier than making you happy.”
It was weird. His whole life, no one cared enough about Byk to worry if he was hurting, unhappy, lonely. Nothing. Then Teddy swooped in and proceeded to make things better. Even now, looking around his room, Byk felt comforted and warm here. He turned to Teddy, who stood there, his eyes wide, as if he couldn’t believe they were together.
“How are you real?” he asked.
Teddy stroked his cheek. “If you love, you do not hurt if possible. I understand that sometimes pain is necessary, like when we tell someone a truth they do not want to hear and….” He cleared his throat. “Damn it. You make me slip into old speech habits. I haven’t done that in far too long. You truly mess with my brain and heart, Byk. You can have them both, if you want.”
He slid his fingers into Teddy’s short hair, unable to get hold of any of it. “They’re already mine. You gave them to me, and I’ll be damned if I’m giving them back.”
They were both quiet for a minute, and then Teddy, his cheeks scarlet, asked, “Would it be okay if I try something?”
“Of course. Anything you want.”
Teddy smirked. “Very well. Remember you said that.”
He slowly, gently stripped Byk’s clothes. Through it all, he never broke eye contact, as if he wanted to be sure it was okay to proceed. Once Byk stood there, naked and hard, Teddy pressed him down onto the bed. He placed a kiss on Byk’s chest, then let his tongue—oh, that glorious tongue—slide over his left nipple. Byk couldn’t stop the shudder that pulsed through him. More kisses to his sternum, his stomach, his belly button, and then breaths on his engorged cock.
“Teddy, what are you?—?”
His words ended in a high-pitched squeak as Teddy licked the shaft. Pleasure that Byk never knew was possible zapped him. Unsure what to do with his hands, he placed them on Teddy’s head and stroked it gently.
Teddy took great care in showering Byk’s cock with attention. He laved, he nibbled, he blew hot air across the moist skin. Then he opened his mouth wide and took Byk into it. Byk’s grip on Teddy’s head tightened, and he keened out his pleasure. Never had he thought he could experience such intense feelings.
“Oh, Maker! Teddy, Teddy, Teddy,” he chanted over and over at the sensations from his first-ever blow job. Every time Byk felt a tingle in his balls, Teddy moved to another area, and the need to orgasm waned. It was both delightful and frustrating.
Okay, mostly frustrating.
When Teddy lifted Byk’s legs, he honestly had no idea what was going on. Was Teddy going to have sex with him like this? He was a bit apprehensive, but he trusted Teddy. That didn’t mean worms weren’t squirming in his stomach.
“I have never done this,” Teddy said. “I have heard Ivan speak of it to others, and I want to try it now. Please, if I do anything that frightens you, tell me, da?”
That his accent was so thick now told Byk that Teddy was as nervous as he was, and somehow that helped to quell his own.
“Da.” When Teddy looked up, Byk winked at him, which made Teddy smile. He scooted down in the bed, then pulled Byk to him.
“I want you to sit with your butt on my face.”
That sounded so awkward. “Why?”
“You’ll see.”
Byk raised up and put one leg on the side of Teddy’s head. When Teddy put his hands on Byk’s cheeks and spread them apart, he was still clueless as to what he was about to do. The first touch of his tongue had Byk crying out.
“Geez! That’s… that…”
Teddy continued to lick, to spear Byk’s pucker with his tongue, then flattening it and sliding it over the crease.
“Ooh, that’s amazing,” Byk murmured, his hips canting. He wished he had a free hand, so he could touch himself. That was taken care of when Teddy slipped his fingers around the shaft and stroked it in time with the licks.
He’d never experienced anything like this. Never even knew it was a thing. He was sure as heck hooked on it, though. Teddy could do this whenever he wanted, and Byk hoped it would be often.
When Teddy slid the first fingertip in, Byk gasped. Even with just that single thick digit, Byk felt as though he was full. Between that, the hand on his cock, and Teddy’s probing tongue, Byk was trying to decide between screaming and pleading. It didn’t matter. Nothing did, at least as long as Teddy continued to touch him. Growing up, especially with Cooper continually calling him a fag, Byk had done his best to hide who he was.
You were always a fag.
Cooper’s voice again, but Byk wasn’t about to let him intrude on this moment, especially when he was so damned close to getting what he’d always dreamed of. Being someone’s mate, being loved without reservation, being told he was important. That was the true dream. Sure, he wanted to bake, but that was for others. Teddy? That was for Byk alone.
Teddy got more aggressive, plunging his tongue in and out, opening the hole more with each push. Byk moaned, the sound loud in the otherwise-quiet room. There was a tingling in his balls, and he knew if he didn’t stop, the orgasm was imminent. Regretfully he lifted off Teddy, his lungs sucking in much needed air, and turned to find Teddy with a huge grin on his face.
“Enjoyed that?”
“Oh Maker, that was beyond amazing. Where’d you learn that?”
“I discovered much watching and listening to Ivan. He always had a parade of beautiful men and women who hovered around him, and more often than not, I was in the house when he got laid. My brother must be a skillful lover, because the sounds that filled the place were louder than yours.”
Byk’s cheeks heated. “I’m sor?—”
Teddy squeezed Byk’s chin gently. “Do not dare apologize to me, Byk. Never. Especially not about this. I loved your sounds, because they made me want to pleasure you even more. I love everything I’ve learned about you, and I look forward to an entire lifetime of learning more.”
No matter how short that life might be.
“Teddy? Could you…. Would you claim me?”
“Are you sure? We don’t have to do anything else.”
“No, I want you to. I want to be yours.”
Teddy stroked a hand over Byk’s cheek. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll claim you, but then you have to do the same for me. This world? It got so much brighter after I met you, and I can’t see myself being in it without your light. Will you claim me?”
That had never been a consideration. Being smaller and weaker, Byk always assumed he would be claimed, and that would be it. Teddy was asking him to make a claim as well.
“I’d love that.”
Teddy smiled. “I’m glad. I want to be yours from now until forever. When the Maker calls us home, I want to spend that eternity learning new things about you.”
It occurred to Byk then. Teddy was a romantic. He wasn’t like anyone else Byk had ever met, all macho swagger and loud talk. He could be quiet, peaceful, contemplative, relaxed. He smiled more and didn’t act like he had to be dominant all the time. Teddy simply let things be, and that calm wrapped around Byk.
“I love you,” Byk whispered, his throat tight.
“And I you, my beautiful bull,” Teddy replied as he carded his fingers through Byk’s hair. “Though I have realized a problem. We have no lube, and I won’t hurt you.”
Byk’s eyes widened. “Oh. I—wait.” He reached over for the nightstand. “I thought I saw…. Yes, here.” He held up a bottle to Teddy. “Will this work?”
Teddy grinned. “That will work just fine, though I’m not sure where it—Ivan. That bastard.”
“Your brother? He’s a good man. He… talked with me, I think. He told me things about you. He truly cares for you.”
“I know he does, and I love him dearly.” Teddy removed the plastic wrapper from the top of the bottle. “Especially now.”
Byk was kind of happy with him too. Especially now.