Chapter 17 Silas #2
Ruby waved her hand dismissively. “Tristan has been in his life for, like, five minutes. There’s no way Kai would let that stand in the way of the two of you.”
I snorted because that was exactly what was happening. “And two, he didn’t believe me. He thinks I’m jealous of Tristan taking over my role in his life.”
“Are you?”
“Of course I am. But that’s not why I feel like this. I think…I think I fell in love with Kai a very long time ago. Probably not long after we met. I was just…oblivious. Blind.”
“And it took seeing him with Tristan to realise that?” There was a note of suspicion in her voice like she could see where Kai was coming from.
“Nope.” I met her eyes, not hiding a thing. “I started to realise it when I kissed him. By the time he returned from filming, I was sure of it.”
Ruby regarded me silently for a beat. “You’re confident about this? About Kai? You’re not going to change your mind a few months down the line and realise you were better off as friends?”
“I’m sure. Kai is the one thing in my life I’ve always been sure about.
I’m not going to change my mind.” I took in a shaky breath.
“That’s what the fight was really about.
Kai wasn’t willing to risk our friendship, but I’m not going to settle for that.
I can’t. Not now that I know I want so much more. ”
Ruby drained her glass in a few impressive gulps.
“Okay. Then here’s what we’re going to do.
You’re going to go upstairs and shower while I clean up down here.
You’re going to put on your jeans—the black pair, not the torn ones you normally slouch around in—your soft blue button-down Kai got you for Christmas, and your brown brogues. ”
Ruby’s bossiness almost had me smiling. “Then what?”
“Then we’re heading to Mum and Dad’s, and you’re going to show Kai what he’s missing.”
The pep talk Ruby gave me was completely undermined by the sight that greeted us when we arrived at her parents’ house.
The table was full, every spot bar one occupied.
And in the seat at Kai’s side, the one usually reserved for me, was Tristan. The only other person who wasn’t a blood relative was Mia’s husband, Duncan.
Kai was the only one who noticed our arrival, his lips parting in surprise. He snuck a quick glance at Tristan before returning his gaze to me.
Was that guilt? Shame? Or was he just pissed that I was encroaching on their time with his family? Meeting the parents was a monumental moment, after all.
Everyone was chatting animatedly, asking Tristan question after question. It struck me then that this was a first for Kai and me.
For him, it was the first time he’d brought someone home.
For me, it was the first time in decades that I felt like I wasn’t part of the family.
I took a step back, preparing to flee. Kai’s eyes widened in alarm as his chair scraped along the floor.
Everyone looked up at the noise, swivelling in their seats to see what had caught Kai’s attention. I lifted my foot to step back again, but Ruby, the traitor she was, gave me a hard shove in the small of my back.
“Silas,” Mike cried, getting to his feet. “You’re here! I was starting to worry you weren’t coming.”
I ignored the burning stare from Kai, focusing instead on the larger-than-life man before me. “Wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Can’t let you make your diabetes worse by eating the cake all on your own.”
Mike’s laugh was booming as he wrapped me in a bear hug. “Give it a few more years and the doctors will be on you too. I’m telling you, it’s no fun getting older.”
I pulled back to study him. “But you’re doing okay though, yeah? No new concerns?”
He chucked me under the chin with his knuckles like I was still a scrappy fifteen-year-old kid. “You worry about yourself. Besides, it’s my birthday. I’ll eat all the damn cake if I want to.”
“That’s why I got you your favourite.”
“Red velvet cake?”
“You know it.”
He gave me another hug. The first one he’d ever given me had taken me off guard.
I remembered how stiff I’d been, completely unfamiliar with an older male giving such easy affection.
Mike hadn’t minded though. I didn’t know if Kai had told him about my home life or if he’d been able to read it on me somehow.
But he didn’t let go. Just held me until I’d relaxed.
I’d ended up sobbing against his chest, unleashing a whole childhood worth of trauma on a man who was practically a stranger.
From that day on, he’d been so much more.
The other solid presence in my life tutted and pulled me from her husband’s arms and into her own. “Give me my boy. I need to squeeze him.”
My boy. Two words. Five letters. Such a minute expression, but it never failed to warm my heart.
“Hey, Di.” I tucked my chin on her head, breathing in her grounding scent. It might’ve been decades since I’d seen my birth mum, but with Di in my life, it’d been a long time since I’d felt like I was missing out. “Missed you.”
She pulled back to swat at my arm, demonstrating where Ruby got her violent streak from. Thank god she didn’t have a spoon. “Where have you been? Why haven’t you come to see me?”
I couldn’t help it. I looked at Kai. For once, he was totally unguarded. He was biting his lip, his eyes swimming with emotion. Hope? Bitterness?
Or love?
I smiled at Di, dropping a kiss on her forehead. “Sorry, Di. Been busy. Tell you what, I’ll come over this weekend, and you can put me to work.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Don’t think I won’t, Silas. My poor garden has never been without you for so long. I’ve got gutters that need clearing and a veg patch full of weeds. And don’t even get me started on the patio. Another week, and I’d be getting the jet wash out myself.”
“Oh, don’t do that. I’ll get it all sorted for you,” I promised, giving her another squeeze.
“I can help,” Kai cut in gruffly. I jerked my head around to see him watching me closely. “We can both get it sorted.”
It felt like someone had uncorked a bottle of champagne in my stomach. Was Kai saying that because he was hoping we’d be returning to our friendship? Or because he was ready to take me seriously?
Unable to analyse it with his family watching, I gave him a curt nod before greeting his siblings. Louis got a half-hug, half-back clap, but Mia was fully lifted off her feet and twirled in a circle.
Then Kai was there. I didn’t know when he’d got up, but he was moving towards me, his face determined.
I had just enough time to lift my arms before he crashed into me. I rocked back a step at the force, but his arms wrapped around my back. Keeping me safe.
He pulled me close, his face buried against my neck. I could feel his heart pounding against my chest, his breath raspy against my skin.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. He was practically crushing me to him, his fingers clinging to my back to the point of pain. “I’m so fucking sorry, Si.”
The champagne feeling was back again as hope rushed through me. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to reach up and embrace him back. I breathed him in, feeling like I was drawing my first full lungful of oxygen in several days. I kept doing that until I felt dizzy. Drunk on Kai.
“Can we talk?” he whispered against my neck.
I started to nod, but my eye caught on someone at the table. Tristan was watching us closely, something like realisation on his face.
I pulled back quickly. Everyone was watching us. Di and Mike looked bemused, used to us being affectionate with each other.
Kai’s siblings looked…worried. Louis was rubbing his chin while Ruby shrewdly studied us.
It was a reminder that this wasn’t the time or place for any discussions. As much as I wanted to drag Kai somewhere private, I couldn’t do that with his family waiting.
Or his boyfriend.
I painted a casual grin on my face before punching Kai on the shoulder. “Let’s go. We’re late for our table booking. Can’t have your dad missing out on his cake. His diabetic nurse needs a reason to yell at him again.”
Kai stepped back, eyes wide, his hand going to the spot I’d punched. My stomach lurched at his confusion.
Before I could do anything, Ruby stepped in, looping her arm through mine. “Come on, you’re with me. I need all the gossip about Luca and his journalist. Kai never tells me the good stuff.”
I let her lead me out, my mind racing over what Kai wanted to talk about.
Did he want something more with me? Or would he beg for us to return to how we once were?
The feeling of his eyes burning into my back suggested I was right to be hopeful.
But Kai had brought Tristan home to meet his parents. That was a huge step that Kai had never taken before.
Maybe there was no hope for Kai and me after all.
I stepped out into the cool night air. I tried not to breathe it in too deeply, not wanting to erase Kai’s lingering scent. It was stupid, but I would’ve done anything to hold on to him for just a bit longer.
If he was going to break my heart, I needed to make the most of every second of tonight. Not just with Kai but with his family.
Because not being in Kai’s life meant not being in theirs either.
Losing his family would hurt me.
But losing Kai would break me.
I wasn’t sure I could survive it.