Chapter 4 Jj
Jj
Ilight the third cigarette since I’ve been waiting on Leo’s porch.
He disappeared into the house over an hour ago with Harper, I should go in and check in on her but since I can’t hear it kicking off, I leave her to her time with her brother.
She cherishes her relationships with Leo and Luca.
I counted her meds as soon as we got back from the cemetery and she is thirteen days behind.
I go to light the fourth cigarette when the front door opens and Leo steps outside.
“How long have you been waiting out here?”
I shrug. “A while.”
“I stuck around until she fell asleep.” I nod. “She’s not right, and I’m not sure it’s all grief."
“I know, she’s missed the last couple of weeks’ worth of pills. I'm on it, though.” I toss the cigarette butt across the grass. “Everyone’s here. When do you wanna make your move?”
“Now. I want them outside.”
Dark clouds roll over above us and it’s like Slade’s anger is blanketing us.
The lot is covered in motorcycles, and it hits me that Slade, Dex, and Shane’s, are never going to ride in or out of the gate again.
I've never been one to give much thought about what happens after death, but occasionally I like to think when we’re gone, our soul remains.
I suppose it makes it feel better about dying.
I stop in the bar doorway and Harper was right, most brothers are acting like it’s any other normal day. I put my fingers to my mouth, and I pierce the air with an ear-piercing whistle. Conversations drop to low mutterings.
“I need everyone wearing the patch outside, now!” I step to the side as brothers file out, all but my dad. Mom sits at his side, but I already know he hasn’t been talking to her. He hasn’t said much since Slade lost his life.
“It’s okay, Mom, I'll talk to him.”
She leaves and once we’re the only two left, I walk over and take the bottle of tequila from him.
“Give it back,” he slurs.
“You’re needed outside.”
“For what?” He snorts.
“Leo’s gonna handle the traitor situation.”
He makes a cross between a snort and a laugh. “No one’s gonna admit it, son. What's the fuckin’ point?”
“Don’t underestimate Leo, Dad.”
His laughter is cold and unrecognisable. “That’s the problem, I overestimated him and look where we are.”
Gritting my teeth, I remind him, “We’re here cause a rat fuck betrayed us. Not Leo. Don't you want to find out who?”
He graces me with a lazy, drunkenly glare. “Son, I have nothin’ left to fuckin’ give. I just wanna sit here and drink until I forget I had to bury my brothers today.”
Grabbing him by his arm, I haul him off his stool and pass him his tequila.
“You can have this back as long as you drink it outside.”
He huffs. “You’re as bossy as ya mother, you know that, yeah?”
I laugh. “I finally see what she’s had to put up with all these years, you stubborn fuck.”
For a brief moment, so brief I could have almost missed it, a lightness washes over him. Then it disappears.
“They’re dead, son,” he says quietly.
“I know, Dad, but we’re gonna get their revenge. I promise you. I promise them.”
“To what end? We fight, we win, we live in peace for a while and then it kicks off again and history repeats, just like it always does. You'll bury me or I'll bury you, Zach buried his father... it’s the way it should be, but not this soon...” he rambles on. The drink has got him and with his grief, he won’t stop until he passes out.
I help him outside and over to a chair and plonk his ass on it and make sure he doesn’t walk off before I join Leo in the middle of the circled brothers. As his VP, it’s my job to stand at his side and when it comes to a traitor in the club, there’s nowhere else I'd rather be.
Brothers awkwardly glance at one another as Leo stands staring at them all. He clears his throat, and I cross my arms across my chest.
“One of you, fuck, there might even be more, are a traitor!” he yells. Mutterings float around. “Because of one of you, three brothers are dead! Three loyal brothers!” he pauses and begins to pace calmly. “So one of you will die tonight.”
“This is ridiculous!” Tack hollers.
“Is it?” Leo snaps. “Slade was a loyal brother for over three decades, he was a father to a patched in member. He was my kid’s grandpa.
He lost his daughter because of club life.
Dex, he was a brother who saved my dad’s life, your president for over twenty years!
And Shane, someone who would have been loyal long into old age, a brother who only just had his kid.
All because someone here ratted out our plan to the enemy.
” He slaps his patch hard. “One of you betrayed us all!” he roars.
“Step forward now, and I'll make it quick.”
I glance around and as expected, no one moves.
“Is everyone a suspect, or only brothers who ain’t patched into the Willow’s Peak chapter?” Ashton hollers.
Leo stops pacing and narrows his eyes. “I don’t need to look within my chapter, insult me again and I’ll bury a bullet in your head before your next breath.”
“And if nobody comes forward? How long are we meant to stay here waiting?” A brother calls out.
“Till the traitor is dead,” Leo calmly informs them all.
“What if we leave anyway?” Tack asks.
“It will be without your patches!”
I wasn’t aware of this part of the plan, but it makes sense. None of us can move forward while there is a rat amongst us.
Brothers split into smaller groups as the hours pass.
Leo hasn’t said a word, he stands, most of the time unmoving, watching everyone.
I’ve watched the brothers for so long, I think I'm starting to see things that aren’t there.
A brother staring too hard at Leo for too long but was it only a second.
A brother who reaches for his phone too many times or is he just looking at the time?
“Most of us have been up since first light yesterday,” Tack says as he approaches Leo.
“I didn’t say you couldn’t sleep. Go get your heads down, but no one leaves.”
Word spreads and brothers begin to head into the bar to get some sleep. Slapping Leo on the shoulder, I say, “You should head home, you need at least a few hours kip if you wanna keep ya head clear.”
“I’ll walk over with you.”
I forgot we were staying with Leo and Holly. I nod but then say, “I’m gonna check in on Gunner then I'll be over.”
Before he calls it a night, he instructs the twins and all prospects to surround the club and to alert him if someone tries to leave. The last of the brothers shake their heads and disappear into the bar.
I knock quietly at Alannah’s seeing their lights still on and Cas answers the door.
“I came to check on Gunner.”
“He’s asleep upstairs in his room.”
I dart up the stairs and quietly open his door. I know he’s safe here, yet I need to set my eyes on him. Sprawled out on his bed, he’s peacefully in the land of dreams. He has no idea what the hell is going on and for the first time in my life, I'm jealous.
For once I'd like to lay my head down at night and not have to plan to survive the next day.
Closing the door, I head back down the stairs and Cas is sat at the kitchen table with three empty beer bottles and a photo album. I hadn’t seen him slip away.
“I take it Leo has called it quits for the night?” he murmurs looking up at me.
“Yeah, brothers are getting their heads down. I'm guessing we’ll pick it up again in the morning.”
“No one is gonna own up to it, to find them you’re gonna have to go lookin’.”
“What do you mean?”
“Money trails. Phone records. Any expensive purchases that are well out of someone’s means.”
“Leo’s on it, but Zach hasn’t been answering his phone since the funerals and Slade...”
“Is gone. Yeah, well-the-fuck aware.” He finishes the last of his beer and I grab him a fresh one from the fridge. “Here.”
I sit at the table and go to light a cigarette when I remember Alannah doesn’t allow smoking in the house.
Cas slides the album around so I can get a better look, and points to a picture of him, Slade and my dad with cigarettes hanging from their mouths and a gun in their hands.
“This wasn’t long after the three of us patched into the club. Look how young we were.”
I should have gone back to Leo’s with him. Leo's on a mission but Cas is running down memory lane.
“Look at this life,” he says as he flips through the pages. “This is what the club is about. Brotherhood.”
“Cas, you’re remembering the good times like they’re the only ones that happened. You know better than anyone how fast it can change.”
The fondness of the pictures disappears, and his stare hardens.
“You’ve known Leo your whole life, you’re like blood brothers before being patch brothers.
You can read each other in fights or even in a game of pool.
You can tell when something’s up, you can tell when he’s hiding something.
It's why he didn’t hesitate to make you his VP.
Now imagine, he’s shot dead in front of you.
Dead. Not coming back no matter how much you will him to. ”
The more I see, the more I don’t believe the old timers will come back from this. It's only Dad and Cas left now, they’ve had too much taken from them in a short amount of time. Everyone has a breaking point, this could be theirs.
“You’re closest to Leo, you need to make sure his mind is clear with every decision he makes.”
I lean back in my chair and sigh. “Cas, you’re talking like you don’t know your own boy.”
“It’s not about that,” he grunts. “I’m talking about this club surviving by a thread. One more wrong move and it’s over. The Lost Souls will be... lost.”
His words follow me back to Leo’s. The house is asleep as I creep up the stairs and let myself into the room Harper’s sleeping in. I undress and climb into bed. “Hey,” she murmurs still half asleep.
“Hey.”
I pull her back against me and wrap my legs around hers. Once in position, I know I'm truly home. Harper burning down our house across the way was never the home I needed. It's her. She's my home, so wherever she is, is where my home is.
“I checked on our boy, he’s safe and sleeping.”
“Good. I spoke with him before he went to bed.”
She shuffles away from me and rolls onto her back. Even in the darkness, I can see the grief plaguing her. Her eyes scream as her lips softly purse together.
“You won’t hurt as much given time.”
“It’s funny, you’d think I'd be used to it, but being with you and having Gunner, I forgot to keep my guard up.”
I sigh. “You didn’t forget, babe, you haven’t needed to have it up.”
“I did though.” Her stubbornness is shining through.
“Have I told you that when I was eleven, Lily was with a guy called Jake the Snake. He didn’t have a snake, but it wasn’t long before we learned it was him who was the snake.
He threw her around and one night, her screams were different to the other times.
I grabbed the phone and hid in the pantry.
I called Slade. He always knew what to do, how to help.
I used to think he was a superhero because he was always saving us.
I didn’t know it at the time but one of the neighbours had called the police.
“By the time Slade showed up with Sparky, Jake had already made bail, and Lily had let him back into the house. I don’t know if they knew I was watching, but they kicked his ass so bad.
Slade made us pack and we left town that night.
We never went back. I knew then that no matter what happened in the world, my uncle would save us. ”
She wipes away the tear that rolls down from the corner of her eye.
“Then I met you and though you were an asshole at first, I saw in you what I knew in Slade.”
“You can still trust in that.”
She curls up against me and doesn’t say a word. I don’t push her and wait for her to fall asleep before I do.