Chapter Nineteen
TALLY
I sat alone at Jimmy’s, waiting for Jessa to arrive. Jake left the house early that morning to pick up the girls, and I waited for the van to pull out before I left for the cafe. I didn’t want any more awkward conversations. I just needed not to see him for the rest of the weekend.
I glanced at my watch for the third time since I’d arrived. If it got any later, we’d be eating lunch instead of breakfast.
My phone vibrated.
Penny: I’m so sorry I didn’t see your message last night, Tal. I fell asleep early. I can’t make it to breakfast. Lucas and I have a cake tasting this morning and a meeting with the DJ in the afternoon .
Ellie: I just saw it too. I’ll be gone all day with Cooper, but I can FaceTime you later tonight if you want.
Me: It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.
Ellie: Are you sure? You never use 911.
Me: I’m OK.
Penny: We’re about to head out, but I’ll call you later to talk. Love you.
Ellie: Love you, Tal.
I didn’t reply. Normally, I would have. Normally, I would’ve been anxious if I left a text message open-ended like that. I liked everything resolved and happy and wrapped up with a pretty little bow. The worst thing in the world was if I thought someone was upset with me for any reason. But today, I didn’t care.
Jake and I had fought. Nothing else seemed to matter.
The door jingled, and in walked Jessa. She had probably rolled out of bed and come right over, but she still looked like a supermodel. So annoying.
“Hey!” She plopped down and grabbed the menu, even though she ordered the same things every time.
Our favorite waitress, Vonda, showed up at our table seconds later with a cup of black coffee for Jessa and a cup of tea for me. She knew us so well.
“Good morning, ladies.”
“Hi, Vonda,” I replied with a half-smile.
Jessa was already taking a swig of her coffee, so she simply waved in reply.
“The usual?” Vonda asked.
Jessa nodded .
“I’m not that hungry. Just the tea for me.”
“Alright, sweetie.”
Jessa eyed me. “You never say no to Jimmy’s hash browns. Something must really be wrong.”
I shrugged.
“Start talking.”
“Last night, Jake took me to a singles Christmas party at the church.”
“You’re going places with him now?” Her words were heavy with disapproval.
“It was part of this whole dating coach thing. He was trying to teach me how to improve my small talk skills and meet some new people.”
“You actually agreed to that?” She frowned.
“I’m ready to meet someone.”
“And the night didn’t go well, I take it?”
“It went okay. And I did it. I started up a conversation with someone I didn’t know.”
Jessa gave me a little smile. “That’s great, Tal.”
“But the guy ended up being this weird creeper dude blatantly looking for a new wife who needs a lot of work on his own communication skills.”
She snorted. “Men are weird.”
“If it hadn’t been for Ethan, I might have been forced into an engagement by the end of the night.”
“Ethan was there?” Her brow furrowed.
“Yeah, they go to the same church. He was so great. He took me around and introduced me to people. We pretty much spent the whole night together. That part was fun.”
What little smile she’d had left on her face fell. “So, what? You and Ethan are a thing now? That doesn’t seem like an emergency. ”
“What? No. Ewww. I’m not with Ethan. The emergency was because of Jake. He got all angry with me because I didn’t go along with his plan and—”
“I would’ve too,” Jessa interjected.
“What?” I gave her a wide-eyed stare.
“He brought you there to help you, and you ditched his plan for Ethan.”
“I didn’t ditch him. I tried his way, and it didn’t work out. I didn’t really want to do this in the first place. I don’t know why I went.”
“I told you not to.”
I ignored that comment. “Besides, he was off flirting with Miss Knight the whole time anyway.”
“Who’s Miss Knight?”
“Ava’s teacher.”
“Are they an item?”
“He says they’re not, but that’s not what it looked like.” I told her what Nora had said she’d seen.
“So, you think something’s going on there?”
“It doesn’t matter if there is or not,” I said. “What matters is we got into a fight in the car on the way home. We were snapping at each other, and I yelled at him and honked Rudolph’s nose, and I was so upset, I was shaking.”
“Honked Rudolph’s nose? Is that a euphemism?”
I frowned at her. “You’re disgusting. He was wearing an ugly Christmas sweater with Rudolph on it.”
She laughed.
“That’s not important. I yelled at him, Jess.” I anxiously stirred some milk and sugar into my tea. “Like, I said the words in my brain without any forethought. I didn’t filter myself with him at all. I just blurted everything out. I never do that with anyone other than my family or you guys. And it’s got me freaked out.”
“Why?”
“Because it means I’m comfortable enough around him to do that.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Maybe I’m too comfortable. He’s my boss.”
Jessa tapped her temple. “I think you’re starting to see the light. What did he do when you yelled at him?”
“He followed me to the guest house and apologized. And then he stared at my mouth like he might kiss me again.”
“Again?” Jessa’s eyes widened. “You kissed him?”
“No. We didn’t actually kiss before, but the night of the ice storm, I think we might’ve had an almost kiss moment.”
“It’s a huge mistake to get involved with your boss.”
“I know. I’m not getting involved with him. It was just a weird moment.”
“It’s career suicide. You’ll never be taken seriously for future jobs if people hear about it.”
“I know, Jessa.” I set the spoon down on the table with a loud clink. “I didn’t come here for this. I was very upset last night when I got home. I was crying and shaking, and I needed the three of you to help me get through it. I was confused and overwhelmed, and all I wanted was to go home to my parents’ house and hide in my old bedroom. And I needed someone to help me figure out what to do about that. I felt really alone.”
She set her coffee cup down and looked at me thoughtfully. “I’m sorry. You know I’m not good at advice. All this relationship stuff isn’t my thing. But I think your emotions were normal. Someone in your life was upset with you. I know you don’t like that, but it’s bound to happen if you’re around someone long enough. Us girls have had times where we’ve been upset with each other before, and we got through it. You’ll get through this too.”
“I’ve never felt so overwhelmed by my emotions before.”
“I’d say that means you feel strongly about Jake.”
“I guess I do.”
“Don’t be like me, Tal. Don’t hold stuff inside. It only makes things worse.”
This serious side of Jessa was unexpected.
“Talk to him about it. I’m sure you’ll clear things up in no time.”
“Yeah, you’re right. But I don’t know what to say.”
“Just honk Rudolph’s nose again.” She cackled.
“Funny.”
“But seriously, Tal, I think you’ll meet someone when the time is right, not when your boss takes you out to play wingman for you.”
I’d always felt the same way. That the right person would come into my life at the perfect time, when I least expected it.
We didn’t talk about my situation after that. I ended up ordering some hash browns after all, and we talked about work. She shared about some design jobs. I told her things were going better with Nora after helping her get dance lessons. Then we said our goodbyes.
I was thankful at least one of my friends had come. And I did feel a smidge better after talking to Jessa .
As I drove home, I realized Jessa was the one I needed to hear from today. The other two would’ve romanticized the situation or tried to read things into it that probably weren’t there. They couldn’t help it. That was just who they were. And while daydreaming about Jake did give me all the feelings, I needed a dose of reality to bring me back down from the sky.
I was still disappointed that they hadn’t been there, though. We always told each other everything.
I went about my day, keeping to myself, praying Jake would not come to the guest house, which he didn’t. I just needed some time to think and process, and I got plenty of that on my own because Penny never called and Ellie never FaceTimed.
That left me to go over the whole situation again and again in my mind. I didn’t understand why Jake had gotten so upset. Why was he so invested in this? And why would he try to hurt me by sending me to Harvey when he knew what a disaster that guy was? That stung more than the thought of him being involved with Miss Knight. And why did it always feel as if there was something more between us? These were the kinds of things Penny and Ellie were so good at figuring out.
I let the questions go and focused on how the rest of last night had gone. I did meet some new people, and though I didn’t make a connection with anyone, I felt sure I could do it again. I’d said yes to Jake’s help for a reason, and our fight hadn’t changed my objective. I still wanted to meet someone. I was ready to get married and start a family. And while I liked what Jessa said about meeting someone when the time was right, I disagreed that having Jake’s help wasn’t the way to go. Who’s to say now wasn’t the right time? My dreams just needed a little push.
I ended the day lying in bed, unable to sleep, glancing over at my phone every ten minutes, annoyed with Penny and Ellie. The four of us had gotten into disagreements in the past, but only over stupid little things. This was different. This was the first time I’d ever felt abandoned and heartbroken by my best friends.