The Darkness Consumes

Chapter 7 Trauma bonding

It was Viv's ninth day in the psych ward, and he wanted out more than anything.

He didn't care about the therapy or the rules or whatever "progress" he was supposed to be making.

He didn't care that he'd dropped out of college or that he hadn't gone to class in weeks.

College had been bullshit anyway. It was just another place full of people pretending they were fine.

What he missed was his phone. God, his phone.

The silence here was brutal, like his thoughts had nothing better to do than circle around and punch him in the skull every five minutes.

He missed doom-scrolling until his eyes burned.

He missed blasting music through shitty earbuds so he wouldn't have to hear himself think.

He missed texting Matteo dumb stuff at two in the morning, even if he was still mad at him.

He missed his bed. His real bed, not this thin, plastic-covered mattress with a blanket that felt like cardboard.

At home, his sheets smelled like cheap detergent and safety.

His room was his. Dark and messy and quiet.

No one made him get up for breakfast. No one forced small talk in group therapy.

And most of all, he didn't have to share a room with some quiet, nail-polish-wearing mystery like Ash who said things that made Viv feel weird and off balance without even trying.

Here, everything was scheduled. Everything was watched. He couldn't even piss without someone knowing where he was. And the worst part? It was starting to feel normal. Like the numb routine was sinking into his bones.

He hated that.

Viv was currently sat in the circle for group therapy, arms crossed tight over his chest. His scowl was practically permanent these days, especially now.

The droning voice of the therapist was just noise, and every word bounced off him like it wasn't even there.

He barely cared about what anyone else was saying.

Well, except for Ash and Ava, who were laughing and joking like they were best friends or something.

His jaw clenched when he caught sight of them whispering and nudging each other, their easy smiles cutting through the dull fog that kept Viv stuck in a dark corner of his own mind.

It wasn't fair. He didn't want to admit it, but the sight hit him harder than he wanted to admit.

Ash, with his weird nails and quiet ways, looked like he actually belonged in this world.

Like he was okay here and okay, that he wasn't angry or whatever the hell he was in here for.

He shoved the feelings down deep where they wouldn't break loose. He wasn't jealous. Not really. Just annoyed. And tired. And wishing he could disappear.

"Viv?"

He jerked his head up.

The circle around him felt tighter all of a sudden. He realised that everyone's eyes had sharpened focus and locked onto him. Viv blinked.

His sliced over to the therapist stood in the middle of the circle. She was new. He name was Dr. Julie, a woman with calm eyes and a patient tone, but there was steel beneath it, like she wasn't going to let him slip away this time.

"What?" His voice was rough, defensive.

She didn't flinch. "Anything to share?"

"Uh, no."

Dr. Julie tilted her head slightly, the kind of look that said she was done playing games. "How about your successes?"

Viv blinked. "My what?"

"You know, things you're proud of since you started here."

"Started here?" he asked with an accidental scoff. "What, like we're in school or something?"

She gave him a steady look. No cracks, no backing down. "What are you proud of since you got here?"

Viv's eyes narrowed, his scowl deepening. "Absolutely fucking nothing."

"There has to be something."

Viv's gaze flicked to Ash across the circle. Their eyes met for just a second, quick and tense, but enough to feel the silent challenge hanging between them.

"Like I said, nothing."

"Okay, how about friends? Have you made any?"

Ash's eyes caught his again, curious, maybe a little hopeful. Viv looked away, jaw tightening. "No," he mumbled defiantly.

Dr. Julie smiled slightly, undeterred. "I'm sure you've made a few. How about you just answer one more question, and then I'll leave you alone for the rest of the session, huh?"

Viv sighed, barely able to suppress his irritation. "Shoot."

"Have you come to terms with why you're in here?"

The silence stretched between them like a chasm. Viv didn't answer, because no, he still didn't understand why he needed to be here. Ash gave him a quiet, curious look, but Viv refused to meet his eyes again.

Viv swallowed hard, feeling the tension knotting tighter inside his chest. The question lingered, but instead of answering, a sudden decision crystallised in his mind.

Maybe... maybe he'd let Matteo come back for visitation after all.

Not because he wanted to see his brother or make peace.

No, fuck that. but just so he could stare him down and tell him exactly what he thought, loud and clear. Yell at him some.

He looked around the room, the other patients chatting quietly or shifting in their seats, but Viv felt like he was miles away, locked inside his own storm.

Ash caught his eye again, but this time Viv barely registered it.

He was done playing the quiet, broken kid.

If Matteo wanted to show up, he'd be ready.

Ready to say everything he'd been holding back since day one.

Hours later, Viv found himself slumped on the worn-out couch in the rec room, the same spot he'd been avoiding but had nowhere else to go. Ash and Brad had taken over his room for the next hour or so, leaving Viv feeling more like a ghost than a roommate.

He stared blankly at the peeling paint on the wall, wondering if this was how long stretches of nothing were supposed to feel.

No phone buzzing with messages, no familiar bed to sink into, no quiet mornings without forced routines.

Just him, the silence, and that nagging ache of being trapped in a place that wasn't his.

Viv didn't like to think about it too much, but since Dr Julie had called him out in front of everyone, he had been thinking about it non-stop. Was he finally ready to acknowledge why he was in here? Was Matteo right?

He probably had some kind of depression.

Not the dramatic, falling-apart kind you see in movies or hear about on the news.

More like the quiet, dragging-down type that makes getting out of bed feel like climbing a mountain every morning.

It wasn't like he was constantly crying or yelling at the world.

No, it was more subtle, just this heavy weight that settled in his chest and made him want to disappear into his room, shut the door, and not deal with anything or anyone.

He'd catch himself lying there for hours, staring at the ceiling, feeling nothing and everything at once.

Sometimes it was just easier to stay quiet, to avoid talking, to avoid the noise that came with people trying to fix him or ask what was wrong.

It wasn't that he wanted attention or pity.

He just wanted to be left alone until the fog lifted, or at least until it wasn't so thick.

But even in those moments, part of him hated feeling like this.

.. like he was stuck in a bubble, cut off from the rest of the world.

It made him restless and irritable, even though it also made him want to do nothing.

The weird thing was, he didn't think it was "bad" enough to call it depression for real.

Just enough to keep him locked away in his room, away from everything that felt too loud or too much.

"You can come back now."

Viv blinked out of his daze.

He looked over and saw Ash stood in the doorway of the rec room, hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, the usual calm expression on his face. He hadn't even heard him walk in. "Huh?" he mumbled, sitting up a little, realising that he had been zoning out a lot today.

Ash gave a small shrug. "You can come back to the room. My brother's gone."

"Oh. Okay."

Viv stood slowly, dragging his feet a bit as they made their way down the hall in silence. When they reached their shared room, Viv didn't say anything, just beelined straight for his own bed and collapsed into it face-first. He didn't even bother to kick his shoes off.

Ash lingered for a second, hovering awkwardly by the door. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.

Viv didn't answer. He stayed still, curled up under his blanket like the question didn't deserve a reply.

"Do you need anything?" Ash tried again, voice even quieter now.

"I'm fine," Viv muttered into his pillow.

"Food?"

"Not hungry."

"Again? You never eat."

"I said I'm not hungry, Ash," Viv snapped, lifting his head slightly to glare.

Ash held up his hands in surrender, backing off without another word. He crossed the room and sat on his own bed, folding his legs underneath him as he glanced toward Viv cautiously, trying not to come off like he was hovering.

After a long pause, Ash's voice cut through the silence again. "How come your brother hasn't been for a while?"

"He's not fucking invited," Viv mumbled tiredly.

"Oh? Why?"

"Because he's an asshole."

"Why?"

"He just is."

"But why?"

Viv let out a groan and rolled onto his back. "Is that all you're gonna ask?"

"Maybe," Ash replied sheepishly.

Viv heaved a sigh. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Ash sighed too. "Oh, come on. I'm bored. I'll tell you my trauma if you tell me yours."

That got Viv's attention. He turned his head to the side, eyes narrowed with cautious curiosity. "Why are you in here?" he asked, voice slow and suspicious.

"No, you first."

Viv sighed and stared at the ceiling. "Mine's not a big deal. You sure you wanna know?"

"Yes."

"My brother thinks I'm depressed."

Ash snorted. "Well yeah, I kinda got that."

"No, I mean, he forced me to come here. I didn't wanna come."

Ash laughed. It was a small, genuine sound that made Viv's chest twist with something unfamiliar. "You think any of us actually had a choice in coming here?"

Viv frowned, turning his head. "You... you don't wanna be here?"

"Fuck no," Ash barked out a bitter laugh. "I wanna be at home."

Viv frowned. "Oh."

"Nobody chooses to come to a psych ward, Viv. Well... apart from that weird guy from down the hall. Pretty sure he thinks this is some kind of holiday club."

That pulled a laugh out of Viv. Not a big one, just a small breath of a chuckle, but it was real. Ash looked over sharply, almost like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"You should smile more," he said after a beat, still grinning. "You have a nice one."

Viv's smile vanished instantly. "Fuck off," he muttered, turning to face the wall again.

Ash only grinned wider, flopping back onto his bed with another small laugh.

Viv didn't say anything else, but the silence between them felt a little different now.

Not warm, exactly, but not cold either. Just..

. less jagged. Almost like they were finally learning how to share the same space without setting it on fire.

The air in the room had turned soft and heavy, like the static before a storm. The dim overhead light buzzed faintly, casting a sleepy glow over the two patients lying on their beds, one staring up at the ceiling, the other curled toward the wall like he wanted to disappear into it.

"So, why does he think you're depressed?" Ash asked after a long stretch of silence, his voice low and even, like he already knew the answer but wanted to hear it anyway.

Viv didn't move. "Because I sleep all day," he muttered, eyes locked on a crack in the ceiling. "Barely smile. And sometimes think that it's okay to not wanna live."

Ash let that sit for a second, no gasps or pity, just a quiet nod. "Makes sense."

Viv shifted onto his side, facing Ash across the gap between their beds. "Your turn."

Ash tensed, just barely. Viv noticed it, the way his hand twitched, the way his eyes darted away.

"You made a deal," Viv pressed, trying to sound impatient but coming off more curious than anything.

"Technically, I didn't say the word 'deal' or 'promise,'" Ash replied with a faint smirk.

Viv rolled his eyes. "Don't be a dick."

"You gotta learn how to compromise better," Ash teased, stretching out like this was no big deal.

"Just tell me," Viv insisted. "All I know is this isn't your first time here."

"I..." Ash started, but whatever he was about to say vanished in his throat.

Before Viv could push again, there was a sharp knock on the door, followed by it creaking open.

Ava poked her head in, eyes immediately scanning the room. "Is Brad still here?" she asked, too eager to hide it.

Ash chuckled. "No, he went home."

"Get out," Viv snapped, bolting upright. "We're talking."

Ava blinked, caught off guard. "Excuse me?"

"He's just being grouchy because he doesn't know how to make a proper deal with somebody," Ash said with a grin, clearly amused by the whole thing.

Viv shot him a glare so sharp it could've sliced drywall. Ash only raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying himself now. Ava stood frozen in the doorway, watching the two of them. Then she narrowed her eyes at Viv, like she was deciding whether to throw something at him or storm out.

She settled on an eye roll and a dramatic sigh. "Whatever. Have fun with your little trauma bonding or whatever the hell this is."

The door clicked shut behind her before Viv could say anything else.

Ash sat up a little straighter, legs crossed beneath him, and turned toward Viv with a lazy frown. "That wasn't very nice."

Viv flopped back onto his pillow. "She was annoying."

"She just asked a question."

"She barged in."

Ash raised an eyebrow. "So? It's not like we were having a secret meeting."

Viv didn't answer right away. His jaw clenched, eyes on the ceiling again like it had all the answers. "I don't like being interrupted."

Ash let out a slow sigh. "Still doesn't mean you have to be an asshole about it."

Viv glanced over, his expression unreadable. "Why do you care so much? She's not your girlfriend."

Ash scoffed. "No shit. But she's still a person. And you've been here long enough to know that kindness is kind of in short supply around this place."

Viv didn't respond, but something in his shoulders sank a little.

Ash leaned back on his hands. "You really don't have to act like everyone's out to get you, Viv."

"I'm not acting."

"Right. Then you're just naturally exhausting."

Viv looked at him sharply, ready with a comeback, but... didn't say it. Instead, he let his head fall sideways on the pillow, staring across the room at Ash in tired silence.

He hated that Ash had a point.

"Please tell me why you're in here," Viv asked again, softer this time, like he actually cared about the answer.

Ash sighed. A deep, bone-heavy kind of sigh.

Then he stood up and started pacing across the small room.

Viv assumed this is what he did when when he was anxious or whatever.

He watched as Ash rubbed the back of his neck, his fingers twitching slightly at his sides.

Viv just stayed there on his own bed, watching him carefully, not pushing too hard.

"My childhood wasn't all that great," Ash finally said, voice low and strained. "And I guess I... it created some... I mean, I'm not..."

He trailed off. Words failed him. Viv didn't say anything, just waited, letting the silence stretch.

Ash stopped pacing, eyes flickering toward the window even though it was small and he couldn't see anything. "I guess my past caught up with me," he muttered. "Things I thought I buried deep within my brain have come back to haunt me, and it made me go a little crazy."

"'Oh?'" Viv mumbled, his brow furrowed. "Stuff like what?"

"Dark stuff," Ash replied quickly, too quickly, like his guard was going back up.

"Can you tell me?"

"Probably not," Ash forced out.

"Why?" Viv blinked.

Ash hesitated. "It's... hard."

"Right."

"Yeah."

There was another silence.

"...It's okay," Viv said finally, voice barely above a whisper.

Ash blinked, caught off guard.

"I'm sorry," Viv added, awkward but honest.

Ash gave a small nod, his voice quiet. "Thanks."

"You said Brad's your stepbrother, right?" Viv asked, his voice still low but carrying that familiar edge of nosiness he couldn't quite mask.

Ash had gone back to sitting cross-legged on his bed, fiddling with the edge of his sleeve. "That's a story for another day," he said, not unkindly, just tired.

"Why?" Viv pressed, raising a brow.

"Because it'll be lunch soon."

"How do you—"

The door swung open before Viv could finish, slamming against the wall with a sharp thud. The grumpy male nurse stood in the doorway like he was itching for a fight. His arms were crossed tight over his chest, and his eyes swept across the room like they were a pair of misbehaving children.

"Let's go. It's lunch time," he barked, voice clipped and irritated as usual.

Viv's face fell instantly, his stomach twisting as he sat up on his bed.

His mood, already thin on patience, snapped in half.

He glared at the nurse, lips pressed into a firm line, fists clenched at his sides.

The guy had never even introduced himself, just stomped around the place like everyone owed him something.

He watched in anger as the nurse left without another word.

"Don't let him get to you," Ash said quietly, eyeing Viv with concern as he stood up slowly. "He's always like this."

"He's such a fucking dick," Viv muttered under his breath, his voice tight with restrained fury.

"I know," Ash replied with a small nod, "but it's not worth it."

"It'll be worth it when I shove my fist into his face," Viv snapped, already halfway to the door, shoulders tense.

"Please don't do that," Ash said quickly, stepping in beside him.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because they can move you somewhere else if you're a problem."

Viv froze, his jaw tight. "What? What does that mean?" he asked, though part of him already knew.

Ash hesitated. "Just... they have stricter wards. Harsher rules. You don't wanna end up there."

Viv's glare softened slightly. The thought of being moved somewhere worse, somewhere colder and more locked down, tugged at something heavy in his chest.

"Whatever," he muttered, pushing past the nurse with a rough shoulder bump on the way out.

Viv barely made it two steps into the hallway before the nurse's thick arm shot out across his chest, stopping him cold. It wasn't violent, just firm enough to send a jolt of warning down his spine.

"Watch it," the male nurse growled, his eyes narrowing like Viv was a wild animal that might bite. "You wanna try that shoulder crap again, I'll write you up."

Viv froze, heat rising to his face. He stared straight ahead, jaw clenched so tight it hurt.

He didn't say anything. Didn't trust himself to.

His hands were balled into fists at his sides, and his body buzzed with adrenaline.

Part of him wanted to yell, to shove past, to just do something that would get the rage out of him.

But Ash's voice echoed in his head—they can move you somewhere else if you're a problem.

Ash stepped up quietly behind him. "He didn't mean it," he said carefully, tone flat but diplomatic. "We're going."

The nurse stared Viv down for another moment, then gave a short grunt and moved aside. "Then move."

Viv pushed past him again. The hallway felt colder somehow, more suffocating, and the dull fluorescent lights above buzzed like they were mocking him.

Ash walked beside him in silence for a few seconds before glancing over. "You okay?"

Viv didn't answer. His fists were still clenched. His head was pounding.

He wasn't okay.

But that was nothing new.