Chapter 25
Nick
T he next morning, Gavin was still getting fluids, but the doctors were pleased with how he was doing. He was eating his breakfast like he was starving. I wondered how much he’d been fed in that place, but he hadn’t talked about that. I was sitting on the chair beside his bed where he was trying to offer me some of his breakfast even though he was obviously hungry as hell. I’d just told him no, I’d grab something for myself, when there was a knock on the door frame. The door was open, so we both looked up curiously to find Collin standing there.
I recognized him immediately. He was hovering in the doorway hesitantly, as though not sure he’d really be welcome in the room. “Hey,” he said, looking at Gavin, but then giving me a polite nod. “Caden told me you were here. I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”
Gavin glanced at me, making sure I was ok with it. I never would have stopped him, but I fought back all my insecurity, because the dude was as hot as all his fucking pictures. Any hope he was using filters or altering his photos was gone. He was hot as fuck. I just gave Gavin a little nod.
“You can come in,” Gavin said softly.
Collin stepped into the room and held out a little basket that had obviously come from the gift shop. It was full of toiletries and candy and a pair of socks. Well, he tried. “I got you that, just so you’d know I was thinking about you,” he said awkwardly. He walked over and sat down on the makeshift bed I’d slept on. “I…uh, I’m sorry about all of this. I had no idea you were going through anything like this, or that your dad was that big of a piece of shit. I hope you know I was really worried about you. I never would’ve given him any information. I just wanted to make sure you were alive and safe.” He paused. “It seems nowhere was safe, though.”
The story had been all over the news. We’d seen it but had quickly changed the channel because Gavin almost panicked when he saw the outside of the building on the TV screen. Caden sent me the link, and I watched it after Gavin went to sleep.
The news told the story but left the victim’s names and faces out of it. They did name the people who’d been involved in running it, though, along with Gavins’s dad, who was not only being accused of kidnapping and plotting against his own son, but Morris had found even more dirt on him from the time he was still in office. He'd purposely dug deep. He’d also discovered that former Sheriff Crossley had been extorting the pastor to cure Gavin, since he was aware the pastor had been stealing from the church. The amount they’d uncovered so far was close to a million dollars. They were all in deep shit, in so many ways. Morris was determined to lock them up for a long time. Prison wouldn’t fare well for a former sheriff, and we all knew it.
The general public didn’t know who the victims were, but some people who knew them were able to piece things together. Gavin had already received an apology through the FBI from the gym he’d worked at. They’d discovered the plot to frame Gavin after everything came to light and had already given the information to Morris to add to Gavin’s dad’s charges.
“I know you didn’t know,” Gavin said to Collin. He took another bite of his food, because his meal was obviously not going to be interrupted by his former friend-with-benefits. “By the way, Collin, this is my boyfriend, Nick. Nick, that’s Collin.” He waved a hand between us. My heart got a little lighter when he straight-up called me his boyfriend to Collin, though.
Collin smiled and stood, holding out a hand. “Hey, man,” he said as I shook his hand, “Nice to meet you.” He paused, then added, “Gavin is a good guy. Treat him right, yeah?”
I started to nod, but Gavin spoke up. “He tracked me from Florida to a secret conversion therapy scheme in North Carolina, came up here on a moment’s notice, infiltrated a secure building and rescued me. I think we’re good.”
Collin looked impressed, if a little amused. “Well, damn. It seems you’re in good hands, then.” He gave me a grin that I managed to return. “I’m glad you guys found each other.”
I wasn’t sure what to say, so I said, “Me, too.” Gavin beamed at me. I wanted to say something nice, just so they’d both know I was cool with all of it, and for some reason I settled on, “You do amazing tattoo work.”
It was maybe not the best thing I could have thought of to say, especially with the way Gavin had paid for them and some of the placement. Gavin burst out laughing. He stabbed a piece of fruit with his fork and as he brought it to his mouth said, “Yeah, the poison ivy is his favorite.” He took a bite as he looked at me.
He visibly enjoyed the blush he’d earned. And he wasn’t wrong. I sputtered, though, as they both grinned at me. “I was just saying,” I tried to save myself, “He’s a really talented artist.”
“Thank you,” Collin said graciously, but he was still grinning.
We were all quiet for a few minutes, Gavin never pausing his breakfast. My own stomach rumbled loudly enough for him to hear, and he looked at me as though asking why I’d refused to share with him even though he obviously needed the food. Collin scratched his face like he wanted to say something but was afraid to.
Gavin noticed. “You can speak freely,” he said to Collin, “I don’t have any secrets from Nick.” He looked Collin in the eye, and with that Collin was aware that I knew exactly who he was to Gavin.
Collin nodded. He obviously thought that if he wanted to talk to Gavin, he’d have to do so with me in the room. He looked a little uncomfortable but said, “Look, I’m not trying to cause any problems. Really.” He looked at me, then back to Gavin, “I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I never meant to…” he cleared his throat, “I know I used you, and I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to fuck with your feelings if I did. I just want you to know that. I hope we can still be friends. I’m really glad you’re ok. I was worried about you. You’ve been a good friend to me, and I feel like I fucked it up.”
Gavin looked at Collin, then at his tattooed arms. “I mean, it was kind of a mutual using, Collin, I don’t think you need to apologize. I’m ok. We were friends, and it’s a thing that happens sometimes. Yeah, it probably always fucks with the head of the one who isn’t straight, but trust me, you couldn’t hurt my head any more than it already was, and I knew what was up when I let it happen. We’re cool, man.”
Collin looked away. “Yeah, I think I’m bi, actually, not so much straight,” he admitted, then looked back at Gavin. “I appreciate a safe place to figure it out. I know that’s terrible, I know what kind of person I am, but I needed it, to come to terms with myself. I never wanted or meant to hurt you, though.”
Gavin turned his gaze to me. “Trust me, I’m fine.”
I smiled at him, but I could tell they needed to have a real conversation, and I felt like I was in the way . He’s not Gabriel . And I knew it, and for the first time, I realized I wasn’t worried that he was going to leave me for someone better. That he wouldn’t leave me. I stood up. “I’m going to go grab some breakfast from the cafeteria.”
Gavin grabbed my hand faster than I even saw him move. “You’re leaving?”
I smiled. “No, just getting some food. I’ll bring it back here to eat it.”
“They’ll bring you a tray,” he tried.
I squeezed his hand and leaned down to his ear. “You’re safe,” I whispered, “I promise. I think you two need to talk without me. I trust you. I’ll be right back. Nothing will happen to you.” I knew he was afraid and not quite all the way back to himself yet. But I also knew he was safe there, and they needed to be able to speak more freely than I was sure Collin wanted to speak in front of me.
Gavin said, “I know I’m safe. I just don’t want you to be away from me for even a second right now.” Well that made my heart swell, especially since he’d said it loud enough for Collin to hear.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, “I’ll hurry.” He pulled me down for a kiss that I gladly reciprocated. Then I headed out of the room. Collin caught my eye and nodded to me as I left. A testament that he wasn’t trying to come between us, and a thank you for letting them talk.
By the time I got back, Collin seemed relieved, and Gavin reached for me like I’d left the country for weeks. I hugged him and he squeezed me. “I love you,” he said.
“I love you, too.” I sat down with my food.
Collin stayed a while longer, and they talked about mundane things. Gavin impressed him when he told him he was working on a yacht that belonged to a model/hockey player. Collin told Gavin about some guy they’d gone to school with crying when he got a tattoo. Collin left with a shake of both of our hands, and a look of respect for me.
◆◆◆
Gavin was released that afternoon. His bloodwork looked good, and he’d finished the fluids. We went back to Caden’s parents’ house with our friends, because we hadn’t been able to get a flight home until the next day.
Caden’s mom hugged Gavin for a long time. “I’m so sorry,” I heard her say, “I wish I would have known what you were going through back then. We surely could have done something.”
He hugged her back. “You couldn’t have,” he replied, “My dad would never have let you. But thank you for being there for me every time I was here. This place felt like home.”
We stayed in the living room all evening, all of us just hanging out together and watching TV and trying to be normal. His parents even brought us dinner so we didn’t have to leave the room. Gavin and I stayed cuddled on the couch, only separating when one of us had to use the bathroom. Honestly, for a second I thought he was going to ask me to come in the bathroom with him. Even while we ate, his legs were over mine and my arm was around him.
Caden and Jamie insisted we take Caden’s room that night. They thought it would be better than Gavin sleeping out in the open on the first floor. He slept in my arms and as far as I could tell, he didn’t even have a nightmare. He slept soundly until the morning without waking.
We flew home the next day, but before we left I thanked Caden’s family graciously for letting us crash there on such short notice. They told us we were all welcome any time. They were good people.
We barely managed to get through security at the airport because Gavin didn’t want to let go of me. If he couldn’t literally hang on to me, he was holding my hand. He looked like they’d torn his lover away and threw me from a cliff when they made us go through security separately. I understood how he felt, though. I never wanted to let him out of my arms again.
We had two seats by the window to ourselves. Our friends were all seated near us. We moved the armrest so he could practically lay in my lap. We got a few weird looks, but neither of us cared. I held onto him tightly the entire flight. I would never let anyone pull him away again. He was mine, and my arms were where he belonged.
◆◆◆
Gavin was treating me like his hero even though it had been a group effort. He knew that it had, and he’d thanked our friends plenty and still seemed awed that they’d been willing to drop everything to help him, but Caden smiled as he told me I deserved the title.
Gavin was going to testify from Florida. It would be a closed testimony, as would the testimonies of most of the kids and adults who’d ever spent time there. They’d all been traumatized, and though some of the older ones were more angry than anything and wanted to face their tormentors, most did not. Morris and his colleagues had dug up a lot of evidence and many witnesses, and they were confident that no one involved would bother us again. We had their numbers, just in case we ever got worried.
Nadia met Caitlin at the airport, and she not only gave Caitlin an excited hug, but me and Gavin, as well. She told him she was so glad he was ok. They all followed us home and made sure we were safely inside the building, then headed to their own homes to presumably get some rest. The past few days had been a lot.
We walked into the apartment and Gavin looked around like he truly felt he was home. He was , it was our home, and that he visibly felt that way, too, made me happier than I could even put into words. Right after his look of relief, though, he scrunched up his nose. “What’s that smell?”
My eyes widened. “Oh, shit.” I walked into the kitchen with Gavin following right behind me. All of the pizza ingredients were still sitting on the kitchen counter, rotting.
“Our pizza,” Gavin said softly from behind me. I could hear tears threatening in his voice and turned to look at him. “We were going to make pizza.”
“We still can,” I said, touching his hair as I tried to stop any tears that might come, “we just have to get new ingredients.”
He fell back into my arms, squeezing me. “When I was on that bus and Kolders was sitting next to me, I was thinking about how I wasn’t ready to go back yet. I was thinking that we were supposed to make pizza and that I’d upset you that morning because I knew they were coming but I didn’t want you to worry, and I didn’t want you to get hurt for me. I made you worry, anyway, and I ruined what I thought would be our last morning together. I didn’t want to leave you like that.” His breath hitched in a quiet sob, “I thought I’d never see you again, Nick.”
I hugged him tight. “I was worried about the same thing,” I whispered, “But there was no way I was giving up on you, Gavin. I never would have stopped looking.” I pulled back and he managed a smile. “Give me one minute,” I said, because I suddenly became aware of the pungent odor again. I swiped everything that had gone bad into a trash bag and tied it. “I’ll be right back,” I said, taking it out to the hall and chucking it in the garbage chute.
He was scrubbing the counter when I came back in. “Can we make pizza tonight?” he asked me hopefully, and I was glad to see he’d cheered up some.
I grinned, walking over and putting my arms around him from behind. “Of course. We’ll run to the store in a bit. Maybe we can still get a redo of the night I had planned.”
“What night was that?” he asked me, a smile spreading across his face because he already knew what the night would include.
I propped my chin on his shoulder, still holding him around the waist. “Well, I was hoping to make our pizza, eat it while we watched a movie, since we were both off work the next day, then I was hoping we could maybe have sex without the crying.” I grinned sheepishly.
“I’m sorry I upset you,” he said again, turning in my arms to face me as he draped his over my shoulders.
“Well…” I said, “You know, since our respective bosses just gave us a few days of PTO to recuperate, you could always make it up to me tonight.”
He growled, looking at the late morning sun coming through the kitchen window. He caught my lips with his own, pressing his erection into my hip to let me know that he was not in the mood to wait until tonight.
“Damn, sweetheart,” I laughed, “We haven’t even started anything yet.”
He traced my jaw with his lips. “ You said the word sex, and if I think about you and that word together, this is what happens. I mean sometimes you don’t even have to say it. Have you not noticed?” Good God he went to my head. Gabriel had acted like I was revolting. Gavin acted like I was the most desirable human being on the planet.
Fuck it . I grabbed him around the waist and picked him up. He laughed in surprise that I could do so that easily, and I took off toward the hallway. “Seems you want to go ahead and start making it up to me now,” I said.
“Hell yeah, I do. And later, too. I was really bad. I have a lot of making up to do.”
I laughed and kissed him. I ran into the kitchen doorframe and three different walls trying to make it down the hallway with our mouths attached. I put him down in the bathroom and he looked at me questioningly. “I need a shower,” I said simply.
I pulled my shirt off and turned on the water, and by the time I turned back around he was completely naked, his poison ivy covered cock standing proudly at attention. I laughed again at how eager he was. As steam started to fill the room, I pushed all my insecurities away and removed the rest of my clothing. He’d made it very clear he loved me and was attracted to me just as I was.
I walked over to him, but I paused. “I don’t want to ruin the mood, but I need to ask. It doesn’t matter what the answer is, I just have to, ok?” I knew that fucker had sedated him to take advantage of him, but I still wasn’t clear. Gavin looked concerned but nodded. “Did he touch you this time?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “No. He wanted to. He kept telling me he’d break me down eventually, that you’d move on and didn’t need me, it was always me who needed you. But I called him out on what he did in the past, right in front of the others. I turned them all against each other.”
“I’m so proud of you for being so strong,” I said softly.
“Don’t be too proud,” he said, looking down. “I wasn’t going down without a fight, but I knew he was right. I knew it was always me who needed you. I thought I’d never get back to you, that they would never let me, but I knew you’d find someone worthy of you, because you’re everything. I was ready to go if it came down to that, if I pushed them to their limit. I wasn’t going to let them break my soul again, not after you fixed so much of it. I knew if I pushed them far enough that I’d stop it. I’d stop it for me, and for all the kids there and the ones who would be there later. So I fought them with all I had.”
Well, fuck . I’d ruined the mood. He wasn’t even hard anymore. “I’m sorry I brought it all up again,” I said, “But I am proud of you. You were willing to give yourself up to save them. You were thinking about the kids there, even with everything you were going through. You’re so brave. You always have been. I wish you knew how amazing you are. Maybe someday you will.”
“I love you,” he whispered.
I kissed him gently. “I love you, too. But you are wrong about one thing. I need you as badly as you need me.” I pulled him gently toward the shower. “We don’t have to do anything but take a shower right now. You don’t have a time limit on making it up to me. I have you back and that’s all I care about. All I need is you in my arms. We have all the time in the world. I love you so much.”
We just kissed under the spray for a few minutes, our tongues reuniting properly, our mouths as in sync as the sun and moon, our bodies belonging together and nowhere else. He washed me reverently like he had that day in the shower that seemed so long ago. Even though I’d lost my own erection when I realized I’d upset him, it came back as his hands roamed over my body like he couldn’t get enough of it. He spent a little too long on my dick, kissing my neck as he moved his soapy hand up and down its length. I laughed a little bit, but it ended on a moan. “Teasing me?” I whispered, smiling into his shoulder.
He backed up, and I realized he was hard again, too. “No,” he said, “Not teasing. I told you my sex drive has always been a problem for me, but it doesn’t feel like one anymore. All I have to do is look at you and I’m ready to go.”
I grabbed the soap and started running my hands over his body. His eyes closed. “Mmm.”
I didn’t spend too long on his dick, to his apparent dismay. “What do you want?” I asked him, because fuck if I was going any further if he wasn’t all the way in. We had time, I could wait, and I didn’t want to hurt his body or his mind.
“You,” he moaned, “I want you. Take me, Nick, please.”
I would never in my life be able to turn him down when he asked me like that. I bit his neck gently and he let out a desperate whimper, his hands sliding over my wet sides. “I need to get you ready for me, then, sweetheart. Turn around and bend over for me.”
His pupils blew wide, and he immediately did exactly as I asked, turning around to bend all the way over to touch the shower floor in front of his feet. Holy fuck . Even I hadn’t known what I was really asking for. I almost blew my load right then. I had to talk my dick down a little bit in order to maintain my composure. I ran my hand from his balls all the way up his crack. His dick twitched. “ Nick …”
I looked around but didn’t have any lube in the bathroom. I couldn’t leave him like that to traipse around my apartment dripping all over the place while searching out a bottle of lube. I grabbed my conditioner. It was all natural, good quality. I was pretty sure it would work fine. I squeezed some onto my finger and teased his hole for a minute, rubbing around the outside of it as I tried to make sure it wouldn’t burn. I watched it flutter until he tried to press up into my hand. “No patience,” I said with a smile, finally slipping my finger in. I easily found his sweet spot at that angle. Damn, I could get used to seeing him like that.
He let out a moan, his fingertips trying to grip the tile floor. I worked that one finger in and out for way too long, letting his sounds turn slightly desperate and watching him start to squirm. I used the conditioner to lube a second finger and pressed in, hitting his prostate over and over, leaning back slightly for a full view of his dick leaking between his legs and still listening to those little sounds that were making me as crazy as I was making him. His hands were shaking slightly on the floor. I scissored my fingers a few times, giving one more hard thrust to his sweet spot and drawing out a grunt before pulling out to lube a third finger.
I pressed inside and scissored them again, then firmly held them there, against his prostate, barely wiggling them until I had him pressing back desperately, arms shaking, and I thought he was actually going to cry from desperation. “Nick…fuck…please.”
“You ready for me, sweetheart?”
“ Yes. Fuck.”
I laughed a little bit but pulled my fingers out and said, “Ok, stand up for me. Seeing you like this is doing so many things to me, and we’re definitely going to come back to this sometime soon, but right now I want to look at you while I’m inside of you.”
He stood up and turned to face me. We were mostly rinsed by that point, besides the conditioner. I turned the water off and grabbed a towel. Gavin looked a little confused, but I dried him off a little bit and pulled him out of the shower. I put the towel on the counter by the sink and patted it.
He hopped up on the counter without further prompting, scooting to the edge to give me access, and spreading his legs so I could stand between them. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me in for a kiss so full of love that it said more than words ever could have. I could feel his thoughts. I love you. I missed you. I’m so glad you’re right here. I’m so glad that I’m here.
He put one foot up on the counter, spread open in invitation. He still had his arms around my neck. I lubed my cock with more conditioner. We’d probably need another shower, but that was fine with me. I slid inside of him and his eyes closed. I gave one thrust and he moaned. “Mm. Nick, yes. Like that. More.” It encouraged me enough to move and I sped up a little bit.
His eyes had opened, and we were so close as I thrust inside of him, his body feeling like everything I’d thought I lost. Everything I’d ever needed. Our breaths mingled as we panted together in silent ecstasy. I had an arm around him, holding him up at his ribs, and my other hand found his damp hair. “How does it feel, sweetheart?”
He let out a moan and his dick twitched, telling me everything I needed to know. “Nick, it’s…it feels…”
I moved forward and started sucking and nipping at his neck and he shuddered. His dick leaked a stream of precum and I said, “That’s it. You don’t have to say anything, Gavin. Just show me.”
“Nn,” was the only sound he made, and he tried to move even closer to me, but his foot slipped off the counter. “Fuck,” he said, trying to put it back up while I continued without slowing down. He leaned back, letting go of me and landing against the mirror behind him, trying to pull both feet up as I sped up even more, my hands dropping to the counter near where his own were holding him steady.
His feet kept slipping, so I slowed, grabbing his legs and putting them up on my shoulders. “Fuck yes, Nick,” he panted, his hands gripping the counter so hard his knuckles were white. He obviously liked the new angle. “Harder.”
At that point I realized I wasn’t really recreating the whole, “making love without crying,” thing, but he was so beautiful and so desperate, I would have given him anything in the world that he wanted. I pounded into him, hitting his prostate with each thrust and he cried out with a sound that made my dick twitch inside of him. “Oh, God. Nick.” I felt my orgasm building, but I was determined to get him off first.
He was pressing back with each thrust, holding himself up with his hands to do so, his legs shaking where I held them in place on my shoulders. His lips parted and he panted as he watched my dick disappear into his body over and over. He looked back at my face. “Nick…so good…I need…I need…” he couldn’t seem to form a full coherent sentence. He tried to reach up and grab his dick, but he slipped a little when he did, which pressed him even further onto my thrust. His legs jumped and his head fell back to the mirror as he let out another moan.
I was getting too close, so I grabbed one of his arms to steady him and grabbed his cock with my other hand. He was leaking all over the place and I used that as lube to pump my hand in time with my thrusts. My legs were shaking as I steadily approached my climax, and my thrusts were getting rougher for my own pleasure as much as his. “Gavin. Damn .” He looked up at me again, laying back against the mirror as I tried to get him off before I came.
It was almost as soon as our eyes met that his legs went stiff. I could see his toes curl behind my head in the mirror, and damn if that didn’t make me proud. He cried out my name, body shuddering as ropes of cum shot from his dick. Some of it went far enough to hit the mirror beside him.
“Oh, fuck, Gavin, you’re so hot.” I released his dick and grabbed his other arm, pounding into him even harder as he watched me, sated. It only took a few more seconds before I finally lost it and cried out as I came, shuddering and dick pulsing inside of him as he grinned lazily beneath me. When I finally stilled, he moved his legs from my shoulders back to the counter, and I fell forward, landing on top of him in a kiss that I hoped told him exactly how much I needed him and how badly I’d missed him when he was gone. He returned it with fervor.
“Fuck, I love you,” I said against his lips, and he smiled.
“Back at you,” he whispered.
We got back in the shower to clean off the conditioner, because as much as it worked as lube, it had kind of a gross texture that we were not leaving on and in our bodies for the rest of the day. We still kept interrupting our second shower with kisses. He cleaned off the mirror after we dried off, even though I told him we could get it later.
We walked into our bedroom and grabbed some clean shorts, not really worried about fully dressing. He pulled his on without turning away or even looking embarrassed, and I left my shirt off without feeling self-conscious.
We headed into the kitchen to make lunch. We could go out that evening and get the stuff for pizza. We could do whatever we wanted, because we had each other, and we were safe. We had something we’d always wanted- to be normal. Right then I just wanted to be close to him, because that was all that mattered.