CHAPTER 40
Reed
L ila and I speak on the phone every July night.
With Ginny sleeping on my lap, I revel in the sound of her calming voice as she tells me about her day, her friends, and her pottery classes.
She teases me that I mostly stay quiet and let her ramble, and I tell her I just missed her voice too much. That I will never get tired of hearing her talk so passionately about the things she loves.
Just the fact that I get to talk to her every night is enough to get me through the day.
I send her a picture of Ginny every other day, and she sends me the occasional picture of a mug-in-progress. I tell her she can text me anytime if she ever needs me, and she tells me to do the same.
During one of our late-night calls, I confess I visited my parents’ graves back in May.
“Why did you do it?” She sounds curious, not judgmental.
My fingers tangle with Ginny’s short fur. She’s peacefully snoring on my lap under the faint glow of the lamp illuminating the living room.
“I owed it to myself to close that chapter,” I say.
“And did you?”
I ponder her question and come to the conclusion that, no, I haven’t. Not fully.
“I’m almost there,” I tell her, mirroring her words from when I asked her if she had found herself.
A comfortable silence stretches between us. We do this a lot during our calls, just sitting in silence. Knowing she’s on the other side of the line, breathing, so near me yet so far, brings me a sense of comfort I’ve never known before.
Until, in the last week of July, she says, “Reed?”
“Yeah?”
“I want to see you.”
Her voice comes out as an unsure whisper.
My heart starts beating faster. “Now?”
She giggles. That laugh . “I mean… if you want to. I’m in Warlington.”
My body and my soul beg me to say yes, to get in my car and drive to her house if that means I’ll get to breathe her in again. But I can’t ignore the string of regret pulling at my gut, and I know I have to do one last thing before I see her again.
So, I tell her. She says she understands, although the slight hint of disappointment in her voice pierces through my heart.
The next morning, I send him a text.
Me: Hey. Can I stop by the shop today at closing time?
It takes him two hours to answer.
Cal: Don’t make me regret it.
***
The bell chimes above my head as I step inside the tattoo parlor and spot a lone figure at the back of the shop—a man I haven’t seen in too long.
“Hey,” I call out, my hands in the pockets of my slacks.
I don’t sound like I’m freaking out, even though that’s the only thing happening on the other side of my relaxed facade.
Cal turns from the station he’s cleaning up. “Just a minute.”
His voice sounds neutral, which amps up my anxiety levels. Cal is a good friend—he never sounds neutral with me.
Was my good friend before I hurt his daughter . Now, I’ll be lucky if I don’t become his target.
I don’t move a muscle as I wait for him at the front. He takes his time clearing everything up, or maybe I’m just on edge. Either way, I don’t breathe too normally for the next five minutes.
I sure as hell don’t feel any better when he finally makes his way toward me, a serious expression on his face, and the first thing he says is, “I should probably kill you.”
I swallow back the tension rising in my throat. “You probably should.”
He crosses his arms, frowning. It’s the most defensive and pissed-off I’ve seen him look. “Tell me why I shouldn’t.”
I’m honest when I say, “I can’t think of any reason.”
We stare at each other for what feels like a torturous eternity before his shoulders sag with a deep sigh. “Why are you here?”
“I want to apologize to you,” I say, not beating around the bush. “The last thing I wanted was to hurt any of you, and I could never regret it enough.”
He looks at me like he either doesn’t believe me or doesn’t want to. And I’d rather be anywhere else than under the stare of one of the most intimidating men I’ve ever met, but I’m doing this for Lila.
“Lila told us she’s speaking to you again.” His words sound like an accusation.
Hearing her name makes my chest crack open. “She did?”
His nod is slow, measured. For a moment, he doesn’t speak.
“I’ve had eight long months to think about this whole situation,” he finally says. “But I’m not sure how I feel about it yet.”
“I underst—”
“My daughter , Abner? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Cal—”
“It’s sir from now on.”
I give him a flat look. “You’re joking.”
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
He looks one second away from tackling me to the ground. So, no, playful isn’t an adjective I would use on him right now.
“All right. Sir .” Is it me, or are his lips twitching? “I came here to apologize. Grace told me you needed time, but if it hasn’t been enough, I’ll leave. I’ll understand if you don’t want to see my face ever again.”
“Let’s not get dramatic,” he surprises me by saying. “Do I want to kill you for hurting my daughter? Absolutely. Do I think you’re scum of the earth? No. I’ve met real scum of the earth before, and you don’t deserve to be put in that same box, no matter how mad I am at you right now.”
I don’t know what to say to that because I don’t think I deserve this level of understanding, so I stay silent.
“What are your intentions here?” he asks me, his voice serious. “Aside from apologizing, what do you want? Because I know you want something, and I’m not sure I’ll like it.”
“Lila wants to see me, and I can’t promise to never see her again unless she asks me to.”
Cal narrows his eyes at me. “Are you asking for my permission to date my daughter, Abner?”
“No,” I say. “I’m telling you I’m going to.”
A deafening silence falls over the tattoo shop.
I can’t read his face. My own stays blank.
I don’t move. Neither does he.
“You’ve got balls telling me you don’t give a fuck about what I think as long as Lila is happy, I’ll give you that.”
I swallow. “I don’t mean to disrespect you.”
I don’t add sir because he might kill me for real this time.
He sighs, shaking his head. “Look, man. All I know is that you hurt my daughter, and she went through hell because of it. But I also know she needed the wake-up call.”
I frown. “What are you getting at?”
“I’m saying what happened, happened, and what matters is that you came out of it. And Lila is happier now, more herself. Now that eight months have passed, I can see the little good in this situation. Talking to Lila has also helped. She isn’t lost anymore.” His stare is hard on me. “You’re a good man who fucked up. It doesn’t mean I’m thrilled to see you with my daughter, but I won’t hold any grudges if she forgives you.”
“What would it take to earn your forgiveness?” I ask. “To earn Grace’s?”
“We’ve talked about this, Grace and me. With Lila, too. I’ve always trusted you with her, and a part of me still does. Maybe I shouldn’t, but gut feelings never lie to me. I need some time to get used to…to this whole thing, but Lila is smart—more so now that she’s finally living for herself. If you choose each other, her mom and I have nothing to say about it. But if you ever hurt her again, Abner, consider yourself dead.”
“I will never hurt her again, Cal. I’d rather hurt myself a thousand times before I let her feel a second of pain.”
His face remains stoic, but approval shines in his eyes. “You’d better.”
“I want to start again,” I tell him. “Whatever I have to do to get your trust again—and Grace’s—I’ll do it.”
He looks at me for a moment too long. “All right. We’ll talk about this some other time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I want to close up and go home to my wife. It’s been a hell of a day.”
“One last thing.”
I don’t know what takes over me when I open my mouth and say the next words. All I know is that it feels like the final puzzle piece has just clicked into place.