CHAPTER 41
Lila
M y leg bounces with anxiety as I glance around my dad’s tattoo shop.
This isn’t the last time I’m going to come here, but it feels like it. Because I might have found my self-worth in the past eight months, but my dramatic tendencies will always be part of me.
I try to let these feelings go, but one look around me is enough to bring me down again—I’m blaming that “ Happy retirement, Cal and Trey! ” banner hanging at the back of the shop.
Despite how hard I’ve tried to ignore it, the day of my dad’s retirement comes anyway. On this sunny August day, my heart breaks a little as I watch my family, friends, and longtime clients of my dad’s celebrate a career of success. A legacy.
As if she can sense I’m about to burst into tears, my mom breaks away from the group she’s talking to and sits next to me in the tattooing chair. She wraps an arm around my shoulders and kisses the side of my head.
“Why are you here all alone?” she asks.
Another thing I’ve learned from my time away is to be generous with my feelings by not concealing them for the sake of other people’s comfort. Maybe I would’ve pretended everything was okay for my dad’s sake if we’d been having this conversation last year. But the new Lila doesn’t want to hide anymore.
“I’m sad about Dad retiring,” I confess. “I don’t know what comes next.”
“I’ll tell you what comes next.” My mom hugs me closer to her side. “First, the three of us are going on that cruise your dad wants. I booked it as a surprise, and he doesn’t know it yet, so shh.”
That makes me smile. “He’s going to freak out.”
“That’s the goal. Then, when we come back, he’s going to stop by the shop to check on things because he can’t help himself, and I’ll have to scold him for it a million times.”
My smile widens. “A million times won’t be enough.”
“Right?” She chuckles. “And then, he’s going to do whatever he wants because he deserves to take a break. He’s been talking about updating the patio for months now. He might just discover his new passion.”
I can’t help it—my chest caves in. “I don’t want things to change,” I admit quietly.
“Because it’s scary?”
I nod. “What if what comes next is bad?”
My mom pulls away so we’re looking at each other. Whatever she’s searching for in my gaze, she finds it a moment later.
“You’ve gone through many changes this past year,” she starts, her voice soft. “It’s normal to be scared. But be honest with me, sweetie. Would you rather be who you are now, or who you were last December before everything happened?”
It’s not a difficult answer.
“I’d rather be who I am today,” I admit.
“Why?”
She knows the reason, but I still tell her, “Because I finally feel like myself.”
I’m aware that I’m still a work in progress, and that bad habits can’t be shed overnight. But I no longer feel that anxious pull to hide my discomfort, to please everyone but me, to ignore what I want because I’m scared others will find it out of character for me.
And in a messed-up way, it’s all because of what Karla did to me. To us . If she hadn’t sent those pictures, if she hadn’t spread the rumors, if I hadn’t been catapulted out of my comfort zone so brutally and forced to face my worst nightmare, I wouldn’t have found this new version of me I love so much.
Now I know that, even if the worst happens, I have what it takes to rise from the ashes.
“You had to go through very uncomfortable changes to be who you are today,” my mom continues. “But that shows that not all changes are bad. Look at you—you’ve never glowed brighter. We’ll always be proud of you no matter what, Lila.”
She kisses the side of my face again. “Did you know Dad tattooed me in this very chair?”
“What? It’s this one?”
How did I not know this?
She hums, smiling. “Notice how all the other chairs are different? It’s because he refused to get rid of this one when they updated the furniture years ago. He usually keeps it at the back and doesn’t let his clients use it.”
I find myself smiling too. “Totally sounds like something Dad would do.”
I’ve heard the story of how my parents met a million times, but I never get tired of it. How my mom wanted to get a tattoo to resemble her strength but freaked out at the last second. How my dad watched her hesitate right outside the shop, not understanding why his heart had just started beating again when he had never met that girl before.
He turns to us then, and he promptly excuses himself from the group he’s talking to.
“What are my girls chatting about?” he asks before kissing my forehead, then my mom’s lips.
“I was just telling Lila about our chair,” she says.
He touches the worn-out fabric. “I’ve had this thing for thirty-plus years. It’s a miracle it’s still standing.”
A sudden lump clogs my throat. “What happens to the chair now? Are you leaving it here?”
“No way,” he says immediately. “This is a relic—it’s coming home with me.”
Why is a chair about to make me cry?
Dad ruffles my hair. “Are you okay, little sunshine?”
I don’t know what does it for me. Maybe it’s his nickname for me, or maybe it’s that I’m finally allowing myself to be openly vulnerable. All I know is that a single tear rolls down my cheek, and then another one, and I don’t stop them.
My dad pulls me into his arms. “It’s okay, Li.”
My mom starts rubbing comforting circles on my back.
“I know.” I sniffle. “I’m happy for you, Dad.”
“Thank you.” He kisses the top of my head. “This only means I’ll have more free time to pester you.”
I chuckle against his T-shirt. “Can’t wait.”
And I mean it wholeheartedly.
The retirement party goes on well into the evening, in which some more tears are shed. This time, from my best friend.
Over the past few months, Dad had brought up the future of the shop to me again. So, I told him what I’d been about to say when we first discussed his retirement.
“Nobody deserves to get the shop more than Mariah,” I told him, feeling every word in my heart. “Tattooing is in her veins, and she’s beyond talented. She’s so smart, too; give her a two-month business course, and she’ll be running the place like no other.”
My dad confessed he and Trey had considered Mariah before, but they wanted to make sure I was okay with it.
“I’m still signing you as a co-owner because Inkjection is my legacy, and I want you to be part of it,” he said. “If you agree.”
My answer was sincere. “It would be an honor, Dad.”
We agreed that Mariah would run the place when the time came, and she’d have to consult with me about any major changes, such as if she ever wanted to sell the shop. Once Uncle Trey agreed—he knew Mariah would freak out in the best way—we decided to break the news at their retirement party.
Just like we predicted, she starts crying tears of joy as soon as we tell her.
“You won’t regret it,” she says, emotion clogging her throat.
I laugh as I hug her tight—not because I think her tears are funny, but because the fact that she hugs me first, even before she hugs her dad, sure is.
“Nobody deserves it more than you,” I tell her. “You’re going to do an amazing job. And if you ever need help, you know I’m here.”
She plants a loud kiss on my cheek. “I love you, Li. Sisters forever.”
“Sisters forever,” I echo.
The tattoo parlor clears out a while later, but my parents and I stay behind to tidy up.
They stay at the back while I take care of the front, straightening the cushions on the leather couch and sweeping the floors.
I shut my eyes and breathe in deeply, taking in the moment. Far from feeling sad, a new sense of purpose fills my veins now. Because just the thought that this place that means so much to me now belongs to my best friend and I is something so special, so meant to be , I can’t find words for it.
I picture myself walking through the door next year, in five, in twenty, and I only feel calm knowing my dad’s legacy will live on.
We’ll make sure of it.
When I open my eyes, I’m not expecting to see him on the other side of the windows.
I blink, just in case all the strong emotions from today are making me see things. But Reed is still standing outside my dad’s shop, hands in the pockets of his slacks, his eyes on me.
The world stops around us.
It hits me that we haven’t seen each other in person since December. I wonder what he thinks as he looks at me. If he can see the changes inside me being reflected on the outside.
This time, every part of my being is sure as I unlock the front door.
“You’re here” are my first words to his face after eight long, much-needed months of forcing myself to listen to my heart.
“And you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you,” Reed says.
My heart leaps. “Do you want to come in?”
He nods, not taking his eyes away from me.
I close the door behind us. He takes up so much space; I’d forgotten how imposing he is. Far from making nerves swirl in my stomach, though, his presence soothes me.
My heart recognizes its keeper.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him, my body gravitating toward him.
“Your dad told me I could stop by.”
My eyes widen. “He did?”
Dad told me about his conversation with Reed, but he didn’t reveal much, so I don’t know what went down that day. Reed doesn’t have a black eye right now, which I’ll take as a good sign.
He dips his chin. “Yeah.”
“Why?”
“You’re here.” Dad’s voice comes from somewhere behind me. When I look back, he and Mom are at the front of the shop. “You must be Reed Abner.”
Wait. What?
“Did you hit your head?” I frown in my dad’s direction. “Dad, you know him.”
But Reed doesn’t seem fazed. And judging by the smirk on my mom’s face, I’m definitely missing something.
He steps forward, holding out a hand in my dad’s direction. “It’s great to meet you, sir.”
Sir?
“Why are you being so weird right now?” I lose it a little when my dad shakes Reed’s hand. “What’s going on?”
My mom only chuckles, mirth dancing in her eyes. I officially don’t understand a thing.
“Pleasure is all mine,” Dad says. “My daughter has told me so much about you. You’re about to start a new position as a counselor at a local foster home, I heard?”
“All right. Enough.” I step between them, gently pushing Reed back with a hand on his torso. My gaze pinballs between the two insane men surrounding me. “Stop being embarrassing. If neither of you tell me what’s going on right now, I’m going to scream.”
It’s Reed who takes the lead. “I told your dad I wanted to start again when I talked to him last week. He agreed.”
“So, you’re what, pretending to meet for the first time?”
Dad shrugs. “He needs to win me over.”
When Mom chuckles, I turn to her. “Are you meeting Reed for the first time, too, or are you a normal person?”
She smiles. “Don’t worry, sweetie. I haven’t lost it yet.”
“So.” Dad ignores us, crossing his arms and looking at Reed again. “What are your intentions with our daughter?”
Kill me now.
“I give up,” I mumble, hiding my face in my hands. “I’m done with both of you.”
“For now, I’d like to take her out on a date,” Reed says as if I weren’t here at all.
And despite this situation being ridiculous, my heart melts at his words all the same.
“Are you asking for my permission?” Dad asks.
“I’m telling you what I’m going to do,” Reed says boldly, sliding his gaze to me. “If she says yes.”
I don’t miss the smile on my dad’s face, as if they just shared some kind of inner joke I’m not privy to. And honestly, I’m too scared to ask.
“What do you say, angel?” Reed asks, his full attention on me. “Would you like to go on a date with me tonight?”
It doesn’t even register that he’s just called me angel in front of my parents. I don’t care about what they think of him, of us, of any of this. Not anymore.
Reed and I are the only ones who matter right now.
And so I tell him, “I’d love to.”