The Desire

Chapter 6

Chapter Six

ELOUISE

W atching the way Tori marched into the room and walked straight up to Rem, slugging him in the arm, made me laugh probably more than it should have. She waved her finger at him and gave him her thoughts on the whole situation in a whisper, but that didn’t stop her from giving it the same emphasis that she would have if she was screaming. I couldn’t hear a word she said, and although I made her promise me not to say anything, I knew there was not a chance in hell she would be keeping that promise. All I was hoping to achieve was to save Rem a little and hope she wouldn’t go full ham on him… not sure it worked, but at least I tried.

I have been watching Blaise all afternoon. It’s been a big day for him, telling him Adeline is leaving and now meeting everyone, and with the increased noise in the room when we are all together. I wanted to tell Rem it was too soon, but I’ll have to learn it’s not my decision to make. I can’t tell him he has to be the father and be involved, then criticize the first decisions he makes.

Flynn is on the floor playing with Blaise and has him laughing even though Blaise has no idea what he is saying. This week I need to help him understand a few basic English words so he can start to not feel so confused in a crowd.

The guys are standing around watching and laughing at how ridiculous Flynn looks when he is pulling faces at Blaise. I don’t know why I’m not attracted to him. As someone who wants kids and spends every day with them, coming home to Flynn would be just more of the same. Ahhh, yes, that’s it in a nutshell. I don’t want to marry a kid when I put up with them all day long.

It's time for us to feed Blaise some dinner and for the guys to head to the office for their meeting. They have ordered some takeout to pick up on the way there, and Tori and I will order something for ourselves later. To be honest, we will be starting with a drink before that because I can’t wait for the guys to get out the door. I desperately need girl time with Tori. I had already discussed with Adeline earlier that I think it’s a good idea for her to spend some one-on-one time with Blaise tonight before she leaves in the morning, which she was actually thankful for. But deep down, part of it was me being selfish, wanting time on my own with Tori before my life changes tomorrow, when I have a four-year-old glued to my side every moment of the day initially.

After dinner, it didn’t take much convincing for Blaise to want an early bath and story time with Adeline. He was tired from such a busy day.

Walking back into the kitchen after getting them settled upstairs, I stop momentarily, looking at Tori. She opens her arms wide, and I walk into the biggest hug from my best friend.

Standing there for a few minutes, I just take the strength she is offering, but finally, we pull apart.

“How are you holding up?” she asks, pouring the first glass of wine and pushing it toward me. Tori looks concerned for me.

“I’m okay, it’s just a lot to take in. Friday night I was exhausted, school was done for the year, I was all dressed up for your dinner, and then I had plans of doing nothing but lying on my couch for at least a week, reading and bingeing on Netflix. Then boom, and here I am about to move in with Rem for a year and be a nanny. This is just ridiculous, and what is even more crazy is the obscene amount of money that he is paying me to do it.” I take the first sip of my wine, when I really want to down it in one go. But the responsible person in me tells me to pace myself. I might be needed by Blaise, and right now, he is the most important person in this house.

“Don’t do that. You are worth every penny he’s paying you. And if he wants to have you work day and night, then he can pay for it. But enough about that. Let’s talk about the best part of this arrangement. I get my bestie back close to me, plus when we travel as a group, you will be with me too!” She claps her hands together as she settles next to me on the stool at the kitchen counter.

“Hold your horses, missy. You travel for business, and Rem is not going to want Blaise there when he is working. Plus, you are paying him to be on the ball to keep you all safe, so you don’t want him distracted,” I remind her, trying to pull Tori back before she makes too many plans in her head. Truth be known, I’m probably too late.

“Pfft, he has people to do that work for him. I’m sure that’s what Nic is telling him right now. It’s not like they aren’t going to make changes in his role to make his life easier and more flexible.” Tori thinks she’s telling me good news, but I know that’s exactly what Rem doesn’t want. I can read him like a book. He thinks that with me here he can continue to work the same as before Blaise arrived. He’s delusional, but I haven’t bothered to voice my opinion on that.

“I’m sure they have a lot to work out,” is all I can reply, my mind picturing Rem in the boardroom arguing with them all about how he thinks this is going to go down.

“You haven’t seen these guys in action in meetings. They will have a plan sorted quickly, there will be arguing and smartass comments flying across the room, and then in the end, Nic will put his foot down and it will be decided. The rest of the night will be used to eat and have a few drinks while they all joke about how the one man in the room who never wanted to have children is now a father. Poor Rem, I can just imagine how he will be coping tonight.” Tori laughs to herself as she is picturing it in her mind.

“I’m pretty sure Rem can handle it. He never seems short of an answer for anything.” I think back to the conversations we had over the last few days. Every time I brought up a problem, he would have an answer to the issue that usually just involved throwing money at it in some way.

I can already tell that will be a problem between us going forward, but it’s early days yet.

“You seem to be becoming friends quite easily. I mean, I know you have known him for a few months now but nothing more than a group friendship. But for him to trust you with his son is huge.” Tori looks at me, questioning how friendly we are. Shit, does she suspect something or is she just fishing? I need to make sure I don’t show anything on my face because this woman knows how to see right through me and read me like a book. I need to deflect as best I can.

“Do you think, or am I just the solution to a problem? He has no idea about communicating with a child, let alone one who doesn’t speak any English. The moment I opened my mouth and French words came spilling out, I became the answer to his situation. Sure, we get on just fine, otherwise I never would have taken the job. But I have a feeling it will be a long year.”

“I’ve known you most of my life, and if anyone can handle an arrogant man who has no clue, it’s you. Just kill him with kindness. Not like me, I would put him in his place with a mouthful of words, telling him exactly what my opinion is and where he could shove his wrong opinion.”

“We all know I’m not like you, Tori. Plus, he isn’t your boss. I need to tread carefully,” I say, giving her a nudge with my elbow.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sleeping with the boss, but that doesn’t mean I can get away with being a bitch. Nic is the first one to tell me to shut up and get back in my place. But I still tell them what I think regardless of that, and the guys are used to it by now. And surprisingly, sometimes they even listen.” We look at each other and start laughing, knowing that what Tori just said is funny. Not sure they listen to her or just humor her to shut her up half the time. Either way, I could never stand up to them like she does, but I guess I’m going to have to learn with Rem. It’s going to be a balancing act of trying to help him settle into his new role as father, trying to cope with him being my boss, and keeping him in the friend zone like we promised each other when I agreed to do this.

I haven’t even realized that I polished off the first glass of wine before Tori is topping my glass back up.

“Well, here’s to your last night of freedom for a while. Let’s get smashed!” Holding her glass up to mine, we clink them together and giggle.

“We both know I can’t do that.” I take the next sip of wine and am already feeling more relaxed than I did before Tori got here.

“Bullshit, I already told the boys that’s what’s going to happen and that Rem can deal with Blaise and Adeline when he gets home. You aren’t on the clock yet. She’s still here and speaks some English. Rem needs to stop being a big wuss and step up. So tonight, we are free to do what we like.”

“I don’t think that is a good idea. I mean, Adeline is still here tonight, but what about in the morning? Trust me, hangovers and little kids don’t work well together.” I remember one of the nights I agreed to go to a mid-week charity dinner with Tori and we had a few too many drinks and not enough food. Oh man, the next day in class was hell.

“Oh, stop being a party pooper. Toughen up, girlfriend, we are only twenty-six, not forty-six. Plus, he is only one child and seems pretty quiet. You can handle one kid with a sore head, I have faith in you.”

“Good for you, I don’t. But you’re right, I’m not sure when we are going to do this again for a while. So, bottoms up, baby.” Gulping down the wine, I place the glass on the counter for another refill, knowing this is a big mistake but to hell with it anyway.

“What do you mean you told Tori they could drink as much as they liked tonight?” I hear Rem’s voice coming in the front door and Nic’s deep laugh after him.

“Give her a break, man. You kind of dumped this on her with no warning. She deserves one night to break free a little from your cage you are about to put her in.”

Hearing Nic’s comment makes Tori and I both start to giggle again. There has been a lot of that tonight, and I don’t even know what time it is. We set ourselves up on the floor in Rem’s front lounge with the bar, built a nest of all the pillows and blankets we could find, and just drank, talked, and laughed like old times. It feels like forever that we have just had a girls night in. Well, not really in, because we aren’t at home. Well, technically, I suppose this is now my home for the next year, so yeah, a girls night in. Except this time, instead of Tori just crashing on my spare bed, Nic will take her home, and I will sleep off this spinning head upstairs in the fluffy cloud bed.

“Don’t let him put you in a cage… that sounds kinky as fuck.” Tori is lying with her head on the pillow next to me, both of us giggling at her comment and then we turn and look toward the two men standing in the doorway of the room staring down at us.

“Victoria.” The sound of Nic’s deep growl fills the room and bounces off the walls.

“Uh-oh, I’m in trouble. Maybe I’ll get a spanking when I get home.” Tori laughs at herself as she says it.

“Ughhh,” Nic groans.

“Still think letting them get smashed was a good idea?” Rem slaps Nic on his shoulder, but his eyes are almost piercing through me the way he is staring at me, making me hot all over. Down, girl, he is officially off limits to you, he is now my boss man.

“Time to go, I think you are done here.” Nic leans down to help Tori to her feet. I should get up and hug her goodbye, but I decide I like it down here more. Plus, I don’t want Rem to see how drunk I really am. I wish I could handle my alcohol better, but I just can’t. It gives me way more confidence than I have normally, but it’s the head spins that are the danger.

“You too, Elouise.” Rem holds his hand out to me.

“Nope, I’m good… comfy right here. I’ll head to bed a bit later.” Truth be known, I’ll probably just nap here and sleep it off.

Tori giggles because she knows exactly what I’m doing.

“Not happening. I’ll be back for you.” Rem looks down at me, and I can’t tell if I’m turning him on or disgusting him at how drunk I am.

He turns and walks away from me toward the front door, with Nic attempting to get Tori to follow him, hooking his arm around her waist and pulling her close.

As she is stumbling with him, she looks back over her shoulder and mouths, “Sorry I made your daddy mad,” pointing toward Rem, to which I can’t help but burst out laughing. Oh yeah, he can be my hot daddy anytime.

“Love you, Lou,” she calls from the front door, only to have both Rem and Nic shushing her so they don’t wake up Blaise.

Ughhh, that reminds me I can’t be thinking about him as a sexy daddy to me when he is a real papa to Blaise.

What the hell was I thinking saying yes to this job?

Closing my eyes, I can feel myself wanting to drift off to sleep to the sound of the boys’ quiet murmurs at the door. But the sound of the solid wood door closing has them popping open wide, knowing it means he is on his way back to me.

Shit, deep breath, you can do this.

As I try to push up to a sitting position before he arrives, it already sends the room spinning around me, and my stomach feels funny and it’s not in a good way. The rolling tells me that I need to get to my bathroom sooner than later. I’m not sure I really ate tonight, and that’s coming back to bite me on the ass now.

“So, drunk El, we meet again.” He’s wearing the smuggest look all over his face as he stands in the doorway with his hands in his trouser pockets.

“Nope, we agreed, we aren’t meeting like that again, ah-ah, not happening. Bed, yep, going to bed, my bed, the fluffy one, lonely.” I slap my forehead. “I mean alone, not lonely.” Finally I manage to stand, but only with the help of the couch where I am hanging onto it like it is going to save my life. I’m leaning my body weight to the side so my leg is resting on the arm of the couch.

“Let me help you.” Rem now moves toward me, and I panic that if he touches me, I might do something stupid. I start stumbling backward to get away, but instead, I just make a total fool of myself. My feet get all caught up in each other, and the next thing I know, I’m falling and sprawled out along the couch. I hear Rem laughing with the deepest belly laugh.

“Very elegant.” Now standing over me, I can picture him just lying down on top of me and pounding me into the couch, and it would be magnificent.

“Now, don’t try to move because we both know that would be a big mistake. Let me get you up.” Before I can even say a word, his arms are under me, and he lifts me much easier than I was expecting, but of course, the movement has my stomach rolling again.

“I can walk,” I protest as we start toward the hallway that leads to the stairs.

“I beg to differ, El. I think this is a far safer option, don’t you?” That stern voice is back, like he doesn’t need me to answer because it wouldn’t matter what I said anyway. He would ignore it.

My body was rigid against his, but to be honest, after his words, I just give in and snuggle into him. Oh, he smells so good. What is it about men’s cologne? It’s like a spell being cast over you as soon as it hits your senses. Well, not every guy, but whatever it is that Rem is wearing has me wanting to lick up his neck and nibble on his ear, tangling my hand in his hair, then letting him kiss the hell out of me. Then his mouth would start sliding down my body and devouring me in all the best ways.

My eyes close as I start living my fantasy, hearing my name on his lips, and I want to let out a moan, telling him to keep going.

“El… Elouise, are you still with me?”

Shit, it’s not in my fantasy.

Trying to push my eyes open, his are staring straight back at mine with such power behind them.

“Mhmm,” is all I can manage.

“Are you sleeping in your clothes or am I helping you undress?”

“Clothes, all clothes, lots of clothes.” I stumble over the words that are pouring out of me while my body shivers at the thought of him stripping me naked.

Fuck my life!

This is going to be torture on a daily basis, and no amount of money will be worth it.

I wonder if he will be angry if I change my mind.

I feel my body being lowered, then the comfort of the mattress under me, and thankfully Rem starts putting distance between us. Sleep starts to claim me, or the alcohol is taking over my body, one or the other.

The blanket from the end of my bed is tucked in around me, and all I can hear as I drift off is Rem’s voice.

“Trouble, fucking trouble.”

Same, Rem, same.

This morning was a lot.

My head was pounding, and I wasn’t letting on to anyone. Rem kept checking, but I refused to admit to him that my hangover was as bad as it was.

I sent a message to Tori telling her how much I hated her, but it just came back with several laughing emoji and the words that she hated me too. She was struggling through Monday-morning meetings, but at least I got to be here.

But then we had to go through Adeline leaving and Blaise crying. Although he handled it better than I was expecting, but then again, it is probably a novelty at the moment, meeting his papa and all the toys and flashy things. When the reality that she isn’t coming back sinks in, then I expect things to get harder.

He has just woken up from a nap, and now Rem has sprung on me that we are taking him to see a pediatrician this afternoon to get a checkup. Which I would have waited a few days to do, but of course, I shut my mouth and just agreed. He is only four years old, not an adult, and too much in one day is overwhelming. I guess that will be my problem later when he starts acting up because he is grumpy and tired.

Sitting in the back seat with Blaise, we pull into an underground parking garage not far from the Darby Hotels office. The building looks posh, and knowing Rem, the doctor is probably the best that money can buy. Probably how he got an appointment so quickly.

Getting Blaise out of the car and taking his hand, he looks a little frightened. The parking area is dark and I think very daunting to him.

“This way.” Rem points, not aware of the anxiety that Blaise is feeling, and starts to walk beside us. His long legs take big strides, and Blaise’s little ones are struggling to keep up. In the end, it was easier to pick him up and walk with him on my hip. He snuggles his head into my shoulder, and then I feel him relaxing a little with the comfort of being so close to me.

I start talking in a whisper to Blaise in French, explaining to him what is happening and trying to put him at ease. Rem just looks at me, and I can see him getting frustrated that he isn’t part of the conversation, but I don’t care now. My job is to look after Blaise, and that’s what I’m doing.

The ride in the elevator is silent, and to be honest, my head still hurts too much to use the energy to fill the void with useless chatting.

Walking through the glass doors, the waiting room looks bright and cheerful, just like you would imagine a pediatrician’s office would look. The walls are painted like a forest, with of course animals, fairies, and elves. Blaise finally lifts his head off my shoulder and looks all around him. I take him to the corner of the room where there are toys, a small table with coloring set up, and books to read. I can hear Rem talking to the receptionist behind me, but I’m too busy helping Blaise choose a picture for us to color together.

We were still busy trying to stay in the lines in our picture when I hear a male voice calling us.

“Blaise Elders.”

Picking up Blaise into my arms again, I turn, and Rem is standing with his hand outstretched to the doctor.

“Dr. Keats, I’m Remington Elders, and this is my son Blaise.” What is with all the hot-looking men in this town, seriously.

“Nice to meet you.” His voice seems kind, which I suppose goes with the job.

Before Rem even has time to strike up a conversation, Doctor Keats turns to me and talks to Blaise.

“Hi, Blaise, I’m Dr. Keats, but you can call me Dr. Drew.” He smiles softly at Blaise then lifts his eyes back up to me. “And you must be Mrs. Elders?” He holds out his hand to me, and I almost choke on my spit.

“No, sorry, no, I’m just the nanny,” I say, fumbling over my words, and I’m already annoyed at myself for saying it, although to be honest, it’s what I am, and I need to get over that and move on.

Rem breaks the awkward moment as he steps closer to me. He sets his hand on my back, and I’m not sure if it’s for comfort to stop my embarrassment or to stake some weird claim on me.

“My apologies, this is Elouise Patterson, a good friend of mine who is helping me with Blaise until he gets settled in. Did your secretary pass on the details?” I can tell in his voice that Rem is a little frustrated.

“I have been fully booked all day, sorry. All I know is that you have just taken custody of Blaise, but I have a feeling you are about to tell me there is more to it than that.” He turns to his side and directs us with his arm toward the door he came from. “Please, come in and we can chat.”

I’m waiting for Rem to start walking, planning to follow him, but his hand doesn’t drop from my back, and instead the slight pressure is telling me to go first. Different to when we were in the parking garage, where he just walked solo to the side of us.

Following Dr. Keats into the room, it is again a very calming place, with a mural behind his desk with stars and rainbows and cartoon animals all dressed as doctors and nurses. This guy cares about his patients, and you can tell that he wants them to feel at ease in a scary room.

Rem pulls the two chairs closer to each other and takes my forearm, helping me sit down with Blaise now in my lap.

“Okay, let’s get to know each other,” Dr. Keats says while looking straight at me, with eyes that shouldn’t be that suggestive in an appointment with a child.

I swear I hear Rem growl under his breath, but I’m sure I’m wrong.

But one thing I do know is that today can’t end soon enough.

I can’t handle the situation I’m in, so what makes this guy think I can handle him too? I mean, who hits on a patient’s nanny!

Even if he is super-hot, and in another life, I’d be down to play doctors and nurses. But right now, I just need to learn how to play the nanny for my boss.

Fuck, what is wrong with me! My life sounds like the kind of train wreck you’d see on a damn rom-com.

I didn’t think I’d be saying this today, but someone bring me more alcohol, and make it snappy.