The Desire

Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

ELOUISE

“ I t was the funniest thing I have ever seen, Tori.” I’m lying on my bed, FaceTiming with her after I got Blaise to sleep.

I don’t have to worry that Nic is in the background listening to us because the boys are on a Zoom call, and Rem and I agreed to have a late dinner together after they’ve finished.

Today’s little adventure—or misadventure for Rem—was probably the best thing that could have happened to us. We ended up laughing at each other in the car and could both see the funny side of Rem’s fear of the brazen lady who was trying to hit on him. I mean, seriously, he is a big tough-looking guy, but he just crumbled in the shop. I think it shocked him because I’m not sure it’s ever happened to him before. I didn’t say anything, but it definitely had to do with him being with Blaise, and instead of thinking about himself, his protective nature clicked in straight away and he was thinking about a potential danger to his son by this unknown woman. I’m sure he will work that out for himself soon enough, but for now, it’s my little secret.

“This woman must have thought she hooked herself a meal ticket. I mean, he did stand out, in his perfectly cut jeans, RM Williams boots, a white business shirt with a navy sports jacket that you can just tell is high quality and not something you would buy in a shop like that. And he had a cute kid with him, hot daddy bingo!”

“Oh my God, I can see it now. Maybe we could go and ask for the security footage from the store. It would make for a great video to post in the group chat.” Tori’s suggestion has us both laughing so hard that the tears start to run down my cheeks.

“Poor Rem, he was so out of his comfort zone that his only way to shake her off was to call me his wife. I mean, we all know that could never be the case.” In the back of my mind for a fleeting second it sounded great coming off his lips today, but it won’t happen, so I dismissed it with a laugh straight away.

“Absolutely not. Flynn would kill him for taking his girl, even though I would kill you if you ever became Flynn’s girl, so there’s that too. Safe to say, we need to find you a better candidate so my guys don’t kill each other over you. Plus, who’d want to be the person responsible for breaking up the dynamics of our friend group? The guys all love you like a little sister, which is kinda cute, don’t you think?” Tori has no idea the more she talks, the more depressed I feel. Yeah, yeah, I get it, he will never be mine. That’s why today was a good day. For the first time since I got here, I feel like we are slipping into the friend zone, finally.

“Oh yeah, adorable to have four successful, uber rich and protective men who see me as a little sister. Because that’s going to make finding a boyfriend so easy. I think it would be better if they didn’t care.” It’s okay for Tori, she already has her man.

“You are looking at this the wrong way. Think of all the friends that they can introduce to you. It will save you stalking men in Marks and Spencer like that poor woman today. I mean, the only bonus points I’ll give her is that it’s slightly better than trying to pick up in the vegetable aisle at the green grocers. I mean, it’s just pathetic to be looking for a guy while you are holding a very large… purple… aubergine. Nothing smells more desperate than that.”

“Far out, Tori, where do you come up with this shit? Seriously, our mothers raised us to be ladies… well, maybe… okay, let’s just say they tried.” I can only imagine what she would think if she knew that I was as far from a lady as possible on Christmas night, when I danced like a pole dancer on stage in a strip joint, just for Rem.

“Oh, please, I am such a lady, just ask Nicholas.”

I hear him walking up beside her where she is sitting on the couch. “I call bullshit. You are talking to the two people in this world who know you the best. There is not one part of an English lady in that body of yours, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.” His deep voice breaks the conversation, and I see him lean down and kiss the top of her head, and it tells me it’s time to end the call and go back downstairs for dinner with Rem.

“Ahh.” Tori’s gasp at his comment has us all laughing. “Lou, tell him he’s wrong.”

“Tapping out here, not getting in the middle of this argument.”

“Only because you know I’m right,” Nic’s voice booms through the speakers on my phone.

“Good night, my friends, enjoy the fight and what comes after that,” I say, knowing that these two fight then fuck. They can’t deny it, we’ve all been witness to the yelling, and then that look Nic gives her, and we all clear the room. I’m not as volatile as Tori, but God, I wish I had a guy that looked at me like he wants to pin me up against the wall right in that moment because he can’t wait.

“Well, it better be me that comes after.” Tori’s smile and answer just confirms my thoughts. These two are ridiculously in love, and she can’t hide that. It’s written all over her face as we end the call.

I need to stop thinking about Nic and Tori because nobody wants to be visualizing their best friend having sex. Ugh, my life sucks if that’s the closest I’m getting to sex these days.

Checking in on Blaise as I walk quietly past his room, I slowly make my way down the stairs when I hear Rem singing to himself over top of the noise of him making dinner.

Holy shit! This man can sing. Like, really sing. Not just an okay karaoke-grade voice but the smooth tones of a sensual ballad. Oh, that’s just not fair. I don’t need another reason to be fixating on this man. Standing just back from the door so he can’t see me, I let it wash over me, and it vibrates all the way into my loins and does things I have been desperately trying to turn off in my body.

Wrapping my arms around my body and closing my eyes, I picture dancing with Rem while his voice wraps around me, seducing me and doing things to my body that I have dreamed about for a long time. Like the way he could make me feel sexy and wanted just the way I am. I want it all, the romance of the moment, him showing the world that someone like me could be loved by someone like him. But that’s not all I want, I have never said it out loud, but I want more. Hot, steamy seduction to the point I’m begging for things I don’t even know exist yet, and then giving in to be completely dominated by this man. His power is something that I want to experience in all the best ways. I honestly didn’t know that desire was deep inside me until I got a taste of it with Rem. He is the only man I would ever trust to do those kinds of things to me. I grew up conservative and have never strayed too far from the edge, including my sex life, but with Rem, I want to jump off the edge of the highest cliff and let him make me scream… very, very loudly.

I don’t realize that the feel of his hands in my fantasy, moving up and down my body, are mine in reality as I snap my eyes open to the sound of Rem calling out to me.

“You don’t have to stand out there to listen.” His voice breaks from the song just long enough to call me out for being a weirdo and hiding in the hallway. If only he knew I was feeling myself up while his words were like sex on his lips. I take a quick deep breath to stop me from looking like I was panting and hope like hell I’m not flushed, but I doubt it.

His voice then continues with the song that is playing in through the speakers in the kitchen. One thing about this house, it looks like it’s old, but it has every bit of modern technology integrated into it.

I feel stupid, but I might as well just own it, now that he knows I’m here.

“Well, aren’t you full of hidden surprises?” I tease, taking my place on the stool at the kitchen counter. I watch him from behind, dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants and a tight, white t-shirt that is hugging his arm muscles just perfectly. What is it with guys and the gray sweatpants? I mean, seriously, they know the way we react to them. If he is trying to keep me in the friend zone, those sweatpants should be banned in this house. My brain almost slaps itself for thinking such a stupid thing. Of course, I still want Rem wearing them. If I can’t touch it, at least I can look at it and dream of what might have been.

That’s until he turns around, and yep, the gray sweatpants can definitely stay.

“Not really. I like to sing when I cook, it’s relaxing.” He leans against the counter next to the stove while something is frying away in a pot.

“Oh yeah, I like to sing in the shower, while I do housework, but that doesn’t mean it’s worthy of anyone else listening. Whereas you, my friend, could be on stage with that voice.” I’m not just saying it to make him feel good, it’s the truth.

“No, not my thing. Don’t like to stand out. I’m happy just to blend in. It’s why I love my job so much. I’m not the face of the business, just the one behind the scenes doing everything needed, but nobody really knows who I am.” Rem turns back to the stove, attending to whatever he is cooking which smells divine.

“Well, I’ll happily listen to you cook every night if it comes with a serenade. But I didn’t take you to be a Michael Bublé fan. ‘Always on my Mind’ is one of my mum’s favorite songs, but I haven’t heard him sing it. Her version is some old country star.” I watch him smile at me, totally gobsmacked at his little secret. “But can I just say, holy shit, you are almost as good as him singing that song.”

“Far from it,” he quietly replies, not liking the attention on him. For the first time ever, I see the tiniest bit of vulnerability wash over Rem’s face, only lasting a split second before he laughs it off, and I know the moment is gone, and I don’t want to embarrass him any further.

Not wanting him to feel awkward, I quickly jump up off my stool. “Can I do anything to help?” My body is full of nervous energy which seems to happen whenever I’m around Rem and it’s just the two of us. I need to be moving rather than sitting here.

“You can grab the cutlery and glasses for us. Thanks, that would be great. Dinner isn’t anything flash, just a quick pesto chicken pasta, and there is a bottle of white wine chilling in the fridge.”

Rem might think it’s just a quick dinner, but any meal that someone else cooks for you is as good as being taken out for dinner. Not having to do the preparation yourself and just having it placed in front of you is always so nice. Besides, just the smell of it is making me salivate and realize how hungry I actually am.

I spread everything on the counter and pour the wine as Rem places a plate in front of me. We both relax into our seats and start eating. As much as today was stressful for Rem in a funny way, it has been a definite turning point for us both.

The rest of the night we just chatted about nothing really. Finding out about each other’s families, lives before the upheaval of this week, and before we knew it, we had been talking and laughing until past midnight.

“Oh God, I need to get to bed. Blaise will be up before I know it, and I want to spend some time with him one on one tomorrow, starting on some basic English words.” Standing from where we are still sitting at the kitchen counter, Rem reaches out and tenderly grabs my wrist before I can move too far. The look in his eyes isn’t what I wish it would be. I know it’s all in my head and only one-sided, so I’m ignoring the feeling of sexual tension between us that is zinging up my arm from his touch.

“Thanks, El, I really enjoyed dinner and just getting to know you. It’s been rocky, but I couldn’t do this without you. I want you to know I appreciate you being here. I’m used to living on my own, so to sit and enjoy a meal and some laughs at the end of the day was nice.” Why can he be a total asshole one minute and make my heart melt the next?

“Thank you, I totally get it. I enjoyed the company too, and the food was yummy, thank you for cooking. My turn tomorrow night.”

Rem releases my wrist and stands too. He looks as tired as I feel.

“About tomorrow… I know I said I would be on leave for a while, but Flynn’s little sex tape has given me a problem that needs to get solved quickly. If you’re okay with it, I’d really like to head into the office in the morning. Hopefully not all day but just to get a handle on it, and to wrap my hands around his throat for being so freaking stupid.” The way Rem rolls his eyes at me has me giggling a little.

“Of course. I’ll be fine, and we both need to find our feet in this new role, so tomorrow sounds like as good a day as any. Will I see you in the morning before you leave?” I don’t know why I even asked that, but eating a meal with Rem is starting to become one of my favorite pastimes.

“Yes, I won’t go in super early so I can see Blaise before I leave.” It’s only been a few days, but that little boy has already buried himself in Rem’s heart.

“Okay. I’m off to bed, good night.” I walk away this time before he can see how much his soft side makes me swoon over him.

“Night,” I hear him say behind me as I make my getaway, thinking about what tomorrow will now bring, being my first day as a nanny on my own.

Really, it will be just like a normal day for me, but the truth is, it’s the part of me that is already thinking about how much I will miss having Rem around that I am trying to put a lid on.

REMINGTON

“I know we have been over this, but seriously Flynn, what the hell were you thinking!” Standing in Nic’s office, I’m staring him down, but I know it’s having no effect on him. It’s like I’m his father standing here, about to give him a lecture. Which makes absolutely no sense with him being older than me, but if you count age in maturity, then I’m old enough to be his damn grandfather.

“She was hot. We were having a drink at the bar, it became fun and flirty, and when she offered a night, I took the chance. Nothing different that any of you would have done in the same circumstances.” He huffs a bit at having to explain himself.

“Yeah, maybe so, but not with one our biggest competitors’ daughters, for fuck’s sake.” I shake my head at him, but he’s just smirking back. “Okay, well, I hope it was a good fuck because now we need to clean up your mess.”

“What’s the worst that can happen? People get to see these buns of steel pounding into her as I gave her the best night of her life,” Flynn remarks as he turns and slaps his ass cheek, punctuating his point.

“What is wrong with you!” Forrest growls at him. “How are we even brothers, seriously.” He’s standing to the side of Nic’s desk with his feet spread slightly, shoulders back, arms crossed, and all the body language that tells me he is pissed and trying to hold off from punching his brother. “Do you think Mum and Dad really want to see you plastered all over the tabloids and across the internet having sex with someone? Imagine them at the local pub having to cop that every time they go in for lunch. Start thinking about someone else for a change. Surprisingly this is not just all about you. And what about Felisha? How do you think she is feeling right now knowing that her naked body is about to be exposed to the world—assuming she had nothing to do with it, which I’m not entirely convinced of, but still, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.”

Flynn’s about to open his mouth to reply to his brother, but Nic doesn’t give him a chance.

“Enough!” He’s sitting in his chair, arms on the armrests and looking like he is the king on his throne. In a way he is, but we won’t let him know that.

“I don’t want to hear this crap. Rem, where are we up to with it?” All heads turn to look at me, and just like that, we are back to being four businessmen who are trying to solve a problem.

“Ian is on it, and Broderick touched down from Australia this morning. When I spoke to him, he said give him twenty-four hours and he will have it sorted. And we are not to pay any money to this bitch. So, we sit tight while my team sorts this. If she reaches out again, then we will send back an email, stalling. I’m about to meet with Felisha, her father, and the head of their security team to try to stop them from reacting. We need to portray a united front. I know their security guy, and I’m sure he will be on the same page as me. Paying them money will never guarantee that the video won’t be posted anyway. We need ammunition against this woman so her blackmail actually has no power, and instead she is the one who needs to watch her back. Everyone has a past, and if there are any secrets in her closet, Broderick will find them.”

Flynn falls back on the couch in his normal spot, with his head back against the leather. He lets out a sigh that tells me he finally understands the gravity of it now.

“I’m sorry, guys. I didn’t know.” He runs his hand through his hair, staring at the ceiling, which I think is so he doesn’t have to look any of us in the face.

“We know, Flynn,” Nic says, “and I’d be more pissed if you did. You were trapped and had no control on the outcome. Let the team handle it, and you just lie low until it’s sorted.” Nic is calmer than I would be if my company name was about to dragged through the mud. Although Flynn had nothing to do with the video being filmed, I still expected Nic to be ready to tear shreds off us all. Because we don’t know what angle they are going to spin this story, and no matter if it is fake news, people still believe what they read. So I just need to make sure it doesn’t make it that far.

“Better still, Flynn, call Felisha and invite her for dinner so you can talk. And before you say you don’t want to talk to her, if she is out with you, then she is not off doing something dumb and making this situation worse.” I can see the wheels in Nic’s head turning like he has an idea.

“Just don’t fuck her!” Forrest mumbles under his breath.

“You think I’m that stupid?” Flynn throws his arms in the air at his brother’s comment, and all of us look at each other and burst out laughing.

We are all replying at the same time.

“Yep,” Nic answers calmly

“Absolutely!” Forrest is the loudest.

“Totally.” I think of all the times he has let his dick lead him astray. The seriousness of the moment is broken, and the plans are ready to be put in motion.

After we all get over giving it to Flynn, I know I need to get moving.

“Right, I’m out of here. I need to get over to Kentwall’s office and try to soothe the old man down, and then I’m heading home to work from there.”

“I am sorry you have had to come into the office because of me instead of being with Blaise.” Flynn looks at me with guilt for pulling me away from home.

“It’s fine, I’m sure Elouise has it all under control.” Walking toward him as he stands, I hold my hand out and slap it against his and take him in a bro hug. “Besides, it’s what we do. We have each other’s backs.”

Flynn just nods at me, and with that, I give a chin lift to both Nic and Forrest and leave the office. All I can think about is how El and Blaise are and how much I’ve missed them this morning. Which is a shock to me because I’m not used to having anyone to think about. But today, it has felt so different to have my work brain invaded by the thoughts of my home life. I’m going to need to learn how to shut that out because I can’t be thinking about them when I’m trying to keep everyone around me safe.

Compartmentalizing at its best.

Pulling into the driveway, I have been away longer than I was expecting after the meeting with the Kentwalls didn’t quite go to plan. Felisha wasn’t anything like I expected, but her old man sure was. Full of chest puffing and raised voice trying to intimidate me, which of course didn’t work one bit.

Whereas Felisha was polite, strong willed, and not prepared to let anyone walk over the top of her. Much to her father’s disgust, she is in agreeance with us that she doesn’t want to pay this person. She wants them strung up by their toenails and made to pay for invading her privacy.

Her team is reviewing all the security footage from the past few weeks, trying to work out how the camera was planted without them knowing. Of course, if we can find who it was and have proof, then she wants the police involved. But none of us want to report anything yet and for there to be any leak to the media that the video exists. That just gives the woman who has it more power, and the price will increase dramatically.

Before I walked into the office with them, I was certain that Felisha had something to do with this and it was some scheme to tarnish our branding. But within five minutes of being in the room with her, I know she didn’t do it. Her body language was on the defense, and the way she stood up to her father was impressive. He is known in the industry for being an old-fashioned hardhead. Don’t get me wrong, Nic is stubborn as hell, and that’s what makes him so successful, but Ewan Kentwall is so tunnel-visioned with his thought process, it works against him when he won’t listen to other opinions. He is in his late sixties, having Felisha later in life from his third marriage, so that the two of them are not on the same page.

Their head of security, Sandon Bock, I can’t quite get a read on yet. I thought we would be coming at this from the same angle, but I have a feeling what he wants to do, as opposed to what he is being ordered to do by old man Kentwall, are two different things. But I guess money talks. In the end, I finally got them to agree with Felisha and me, allowing us to investigate this before we all react.

Opening the front door just after four pm, I hear Blaise’s little laugh coming from the living room, which brings an instant smile to my face. I could get used to having someone to come home to each day.

Slipping off my shoes at the door is something I love to do as soon as I get home, and I walk toward the voices.

“Fucccckkkkkk!” I scream as the piercing pain radiates up through the ball of my foot. Hopping a few steps, I turn to see what I trod on, and straight away I take back my thought of coming home to people in my house being great. Apparently, I have just been initiated into being a parent by standing on a piece of Lego in socked feet. Holy shit, that fucking hurts.

Then through her laughing, I hear El call out to me. “Watch the language, one pound in the swear jar.” And then she continues to laugh at me. I’ll give her a damn swear jar. That is going to be the least of the problems if I keep coming home to Lego on the floor in the doorway. It might be a simple but effective security measure, but I think I’ll take my very expensive, high-tech computer security system over the pain of the Lego barrier.

I compose myself even though my foot is still throbbing from the little sucker that is smaller than my big toe.

The moment I step into the lounge, Blaise is up off the floor where he was playing with El and runs for me. He leaps into my arms and hugs me tightly. He is making it hard to still be annoyed at my pain.

“ Bonjour, Blaise ,” I say as I squeeze him tightly and shake him from side to side, bringing out a giggle in him.

“Hello, Papa.” He looks at me after carefully getting out his first word of English he has ever spoken to me. The excitement on his face waiting for my reaction makes me smile with so much joy for him.

“Well, hello, Blaise, my clever boy.” I repeat his words back to him so he knows I understood him. His face lights up and he is already squirming that he wants to get down.

Looking at El, I can see that she is beaming that he has learned something today.

“Wait, there’s more,” she blurts out as Blaise runs back across the room, grabbing a car and holding it up.

“Car, Papa.” He drops it back to the floor, and then he has his favorite truck. “Truck, Papa.” Then he gives it to El before he reaches for another toy. “Ball.” He continues to point to a few more things, proudly rattling off the correct English for it in his proudest four-year-old voice he can muster. When he gets to the end of the words he has learned, he starts clapping for himself, which has both El and me joining in and clapping his big achievement.

“I’m so proud of you, Blaise.” I take both his hands and hold them above his head and slap my hands on to them, cheering him and teaching him how to show excitement. El jumps up off the floor and gives him the double high five too, which has him cheering again and jumping up and down on the spot.

All my dramas of the day seem to disappear from my thoughts at the innocence of the little boy in front of me who mastered a dozen English words today, with of course a very broad French accent.

His attention is quickly diverted to the television that is on, and the Australian kids show Bluey comes on. I had never heard of it before, but El insisted it’s a great show and all her kids at school love it. The theme song has him dancing in front of the television, and the excitement of Dad being home is now gone.

“Can I get you a drink or anything to eat?” Elouise is at my side, still beaming at the happiness that has rubbed off from Blaise.

“I should be getting you a glass of champagne to celebrate your first day of being an amazing teacher.” Placing my hand on her lower back, I direct her toward the kitchen.

“What, I wasn’t amazing all the other days I have been a teacher before I landed on your doorstep?” she digs at me as I step past her and head toward the wine fridge.

“But you weren’t my teacher, so I’m just celebrating you being mine.” I’m popping the cork on the bottle when the words start repeating in my head.

Looking up, her face tells me that I need to fix this. I start trying to clarify what I meant.

“You know, mine as in my employee, the person who is working for me and looking after Blaise, the nanny, no, I mean my friend… Oh fuck it, you know what I meant.” Handing her the glass, we stand there looking into each other’s eyes until the laughter starts falling from El’s lips, and I breathe a sigh of relief, laughing with her. Clinking our glasses together, we toast the beginning of her journey with Blaise and my relief at being able to communicate freely with my son.

A few sips later and El as usual is the one who is good at breaking the silence.

“How did your meetings go today? Do you think you will be able to stop the world from having to vomit up their meal seeing Flynn naked and having sex?” She leans her backside against the counter near the window and the afternoon sunlight surrounds her silhouette, softening her features and reminding me no matter how hard I try I can’t deny her beauty and how much I am attracted to her.

“Strange is the best way I can describe it. But one thing is for sure, there is something not right about this whole thing, and I can’t seem to put my finger on what it is. And that makes me twitchy, and I hate the feeling of…” My mind wanders back to Felisha and the way she reacted today.

“Feeling of what?” El asks.

“The unknown.” It’s the only word that can describe it.