The Desire

Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

ELOUISE

W hat right has he got to be angry at me and obviously jealous!

How did he even know that Drew called me today?

Of course, Tori!

I’m going to kill her. She obviously said something to him that has him acting like an idiot. He can be shitty with me all he likes, but putting his life in danger because of it and hurting Blaise is unacceptable.

I’m staring into the cupboard that I don’t even know why I opened. I can’t let him get away with being gutless. Growling, I slam the door. I need to tell him to man up!

I stomp back into his office, and the moment I see him, I see red! I blurt out what I can’t keep to myself anymore. “Why can’t you admit you hate that someone else wants me and do something about this thing between us.” I know it’s hypocritical because I was the one who told him we have to be friends, but it’s been boiling inside me, and his comments just fueled my fire. I couldn’t hold it any longer.

What I wasn’t expecting was for him to slam his lips onto mine without a word to deny it.

Oh God, how I’ve missed his lips.

They have a roughness to them, not all perfect and smooth but like what I hear them talk about what a real manly guy is like, and it’s got my lips tingling all over. His urgency to have me tells me what I already knew. We are fighting something that I’m not sure we will be able to stop from happening.

His hands are so tight, holding my head in just the right position. I can’t breathe, but I don’t want to stop. Any minute he is going to pull away, and it will all be over again. My gut’s churning with emotions, and I’m already dripping wet from the frenzy that’s thrumming through my body. I need to hold on for as long as I can. I wrap my arms around to his back and cling to him like I’m about to fall. Just like I knew he would, Rem starts to pull away.

No, no, no, no, please don’t stop.

The panic is obviously written all over my face when looks at me. My mouth is open and I’m panting like he has just kissed every bit of air out of me.

“Don’t worry, I’m just beginning.” That deep rasp in his voice has the electricity rushing through my body, and I feel like I’m back in that place of euphoria I was at Christmas.

Enveloping me in his arms, he kisses me roughly, this time claiming my mouth with his tongue.

There is no holding back now, and I’m all in too.

I want this more than I let myself believe, but now that it’s happening, I’m not letting my conscience get involved. This is lust-driven, and it’s what we both need. He walks me backward until the back of my legs hit his desk.

Our lips separating, I can’t tell if he is looking at me with desire or annoyance that I have put him in this position.

“You keep telling me no, yet you pushed us to this point. This is your last chance to stop it.”

I shake my head quickly. In my head I’m screaming, “Don’t stop!”

“Use your words, El, tell me what you want.” I love hearing him call me that. It’s something special just between us. I know what I want, but part of me is scared to ask for it.

My voice all breathy, I say, “Touch me… please, Rem, touch me.” A shiver runs through my body as his fingers find their way to my jeans button.

“Is that all you want, to be touched?” He nuzzles into my neck and kisses me behind my ear as he whispers to me.

The zipper on my jeans is pulled down, and he runs his fingers along the top of my panties. I can’t keep from shuddering as he starts to slide under the elastic and down my bare skin.

“Words, El,” he growls, nipping at my neck at the same time his finger skims across my clit and slides down the front of my folds.

“Fuck.” I’m groaning without control of what I’m saying.

“Are you telling me it feels good… or are you asking me to fuck you on my desk?” Lifting his head, he looks deep into my soul with his dark eyes.

“Both!” I grit my teeth as he continues to rub up and down over my clit, and every time he touches it, my body fires with the most intense sensation. “All of it, I want it all.”

The wicked smile that appears on his face tells me whatever I’m about to get is going to be good.

“Push your jeans and panties down.” His demanding voice has me moving quickly, but I’m desperate to feel him too. My hands jump to his trousers, and the faster his finger works me over, I can’t help but keep moaning. It makes me want his trousers on the floor, and his cock, that I can already feel is rock hard, in my hands right now.

“Don’t touch my cock.” His gruffness makes me stop dead and look up to his face above me. “I’m hanging on by a thread, and I’m not ready for this to be over.” Without warning, he thrusts his finger deep inside me, and he pushes his thumb hard down on my engorged clit. Curling his finger, he has me falling forward into him as my orgasm is building hard. I’m shamelessly riding his hand, and I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to.

“That’s it, let me take away that ache… because you ache for me at night, don’t you, El. Show me how much you want me.”

I can’t hold on any longer. I shudder all over his hand as my body explodes, knowing he’s right. The ache is so deep that I don’t how to get rid of it.

But before he lets my body come down from my huge high of indulgence, he spins me on his desk and pushes my face down into the dark timber.

The loud slap of his hand landing on my ass echoes along with my noisy gasp. No one has ever slapped me on the ass before, and if you’d asked me before if I wanted it, I would’ve said absolutely not.

But instead, it just makes my pussy wetter than it already was, and I’m craving another one.

“That’s what naughty vixens who tempt me get.” His fingers are back working over my entrance and dragging the moisture all over my pussy. “Oh, you liked that, didn’t you. You are so wet. Just like my cock that’s leaking from seeing my red handprint on your pale and supple ass.”

I can feel my body chasing his hand as it withdraws from me.

His hard cock is lying in the crack of my ass as he leans over my body to whisper in my ear again. “Keep quiet because we don’t want my son to hear me fucking his nanny on my desk, do we. You scream, I stop.”

And without warning, he is upright, and his cock slams all the way inside me. The surprise and the sting of his size has me about to scream, but instead, all he can hear is a whimper as I almost draw blood on my bottom lip from biting so hard into it.

“Take it, El.” His hands are on my hips, gripping me so hard I’m sure I will have fingerprint marks tomorrow. Pounding into me hard over and over again, all I can think is that I never want this to end. Use me to take away the frustration you feel, Rem, because I feel the same .

It’s what we both need.

Not sweet lovemaking but a good hard fuck to release everything we have both been fighting.

“You drive me fucking crazy!” His mumble of exasperation is loud enough to be heard over the noise of our skin slapping against each other, hard!

The position he has me pushed onto his desk has his cock hitting all the way to my core, and the pressure of the corner of the desk right on my clit is enough to make me want him to keep pounding me as hard as he can. I’m gripping the desk with every bit of strength I have, making sure that I’m not flying over the table from the force of him hitting me from behind.

I can’t hold my body off as his cock hits me in the most tantalizing way, and before I can even say a word, I’m coming hard, but it doesn’t stop Rem. If anything, he steps it up a notch and lets me take everything he needs to let go of. Finally, his orgasm rips through him, and he grunts as he empties inside me. I can still feel his cock, deep down, pulsating inside me.

My muscles now soft, I mold to the desk. I could stay here for the rest of the night, exposed to the world but feeling oh so satisfied.

My top is shoved halfway up my body, and Rem presses his lips softly on my back, his hands caressing my side. It feels so different than the way he kissed me a moment ago. It spreads a warmth through me I wasn’t expecting but makes me feel so treasured.

The only noise that can be heard in the room is our breathing coming back under control, but it’s broken by a sigh from Rem that makes me nervous because his touch is gone, and I feel him pulling out from inside me.

That empty feeling is already in my gut, and I don’t know what I’m about to encounter when I stand and face him. Not even giving me a chance to clean myself up, Rem has dropped down to my feet and pulls my jeans back up, covering me, which is my sign to move, without him even saying it.

Slowly pushing myself back up to standing and buttoning my jeans, I pull my shirt back down and have the disgusting feeling of Rem’s come running out of me. By the time I turn around he is already dressed and just looks at me like he is unsure what to say.

The feeling of the come reminds me. “Shit, I just realized we didn’t use protection.” The look on his face is the beginning of him panicking which I need to stop from happening. “But don’t worry, it’s the wrong time in my cycle for anything to be a problem.” Watching Rem start to calm a little, I’m not sure he is actually paying attention to what I said anyway.

“I trust you, and I’m sorry,” Rem says to me quietly. But in my head, I know that I’m not sorry. That was so amazing, and that’s all I want to think about.

This super-confident man seems to lose the certainty when we are in the same room.

Taking a step toward him, I touch his hand, and it’s like it jolts him back into the room.

“We need to talk.” Back now is his calm soft tone that I’ve seen him use with Blaise too.

He’s right, but I don’t want to admit it. Talking is going to lead to pushing this back into the closet, and although I know that’s what needs to happen, I’m desperate to tell him how I feel. Not just this insane lust that we both obviously share, but there is something more. I don’t know what, but I just wish I could explore it.

But at my core, I feel like he is about to remind me that we can’t be doing this, and I will have to agree.

Taking me by the hand, he leads me to the couch, sitting, and then pulls me into his lap which takes me off guard and is the last thing I expected.

“Rem!” I let out a little screech as I land on top of him.

“What, you didn’t think I was going to fuck you and then send you on your way, did you?” Laughing, he wraps his arms around me and kisses me so sweetly on the lips. Nothing like we have kissed before.

The kind of kiss I didn’t think I wanted, but oh, how it makes my heart ache with longing for more of this.

Putting my hand up and wrapping it in the hair on the back of his head, I sense him leaning more into the kiss. This is not where I saw this going, but my whole body is so on board for more of this. He rubs up and down my back, and I’m just melting into him the more he does it.

My brain is racing like crazy.

I want this, but I can’t have this. There are too many reasons why. All of them flash though my head one after the other.

Hurting Blaise, Flynn, Tori and her friends, working together, Rem and his fears, not that I know what they are, but I can tell he has them. Lastly, because I always put everyone else first, my heart. I know I am already too invested, and if I take this any further then I will be free falling, and that will just end in disaster and heartbreak.

This time, it’s me that’s reluctantly pulling away from the kiss. I need time to get the words in my head right before I try to articulate my fears.

I lay my head on his shoulder and just breathe him in. His hand is still rubbing my back, and for a moment, I just relish the feeling of contentment that being in his arms gives me. I could stay here forever, but it’s just not in the cards for us.

“Rem, we can’t do this.” I can’t even look up into his eyes when I say the words that feel like a knife’s point poking into my chest. Not quite piercing my heart but just enough that I start to feel the pain that I know will only get worse if I let it.

His deep sigh tells me that he realizes it too. “I know, but we have to work out how to ignore it.” The slight laugh tells me that he isn’t sure it’s possible, and neither am I, but we have to try.

The laugh is enough to break the seriousness of my emotions, and I sit up so I’m still close but not nuzzled into him like a girlfriend would be, and I’m far from that.

“I know it isn’t fair, but I think we both agree there are too many reasons why we can’t be together.” Starting the conversation is what I do, it seems to be a pattern with us both.

“Agreed, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want you…” He runs his hand through his curls that are now damp from exertion. “Ughhh, this is so fucked.”

“Really, you use that word to describe this thing between us.” I can’t help but start to giggle, even when we are trying to be serious.

“You’re the one with the dirty mind, young lady. If I was describing what we just did, I would have used a lot more adjectives, I can assure you.” The hand that was in his hair drops and rests on my thigh.

“Like what?” I can’t help but wonder.

“Amazing, spine-tingling, breathtaking, hot as fuck, I know the perfect one… orgasmic!” To which we both start laughing, but deep in my bones, I feel a sense of peace that it’s not just me feeling that this could be much more that a quick fuck to relieve some of the sexual tension between us. There is something real beneath the surface.

“Okay, moving on and back to the real world.” Looking at him, I can see determination in him.

“Don’t you ever doubt how real that was, El… I mean it.”

My hand moves involuntarily to his cheek, and my thumb traces across his lips that are a part of his body I wish I could get more of. “I know, I truly do.” I finally drop my hand to take away the temptation to start something again.

“There are just too many roadblocks.” We both nod in agreement with his words.

“Flynn.” The word comes from both of us simultaneously.

“He would kill me,” Rem says with a smirk on his face, knowing too well that he could beat him in a fight any day of the week. Something I would never want to happen, especially because of me.

“Tori would kill me for breaking up the wolf pack, and I couldn’t bear losing Tori either.” I exhale with exasperation.

“Wolf pack, hey?” He’s looking at me with his head tilted.

“Yeah, can’t you see it? Nic is the alpha wolf, the leader or boss of the pack. Flynn and Forrest are the middle pack, the advisor’s beta/deltas depending on the situation, and you are the omega of the pack.”

“What the hell is the omega wolf?” Rem asks, intrigued by all the names.

“The one in the group who is always on the lookout for danger, the protector of the pack.” Which is Rem all over. Without the others knowing sometimes how much he is circling them and putting his own life aside to make sure they are safe in theirs.

“Makes sense, but in this house, know that I’m the alpha, beta, delta, and omega wolf, and no other man will ever step into any of those roles where Blaise and you are concerned, El.” There is almost a growl in his voice when he is referring to me.

I want to believe it, but I know I don’t have the right to hold that place with him. I can’t say that right now though, so instead I throw up a left-field question that I know will make him laugh. “Where do you think Tori fits into the pack?” I smile at the thought of it.

“Is there an alpha woman who has the alpha male’s balls in her hands and who runs the whole pack, with the rest of them all bowing down to her and just saying yes ma’am? Because I feel like that is the truth of this group, not that I would ever say that out loud, and never to Tori or Nic.”

“I think you might be right there. And it would be safer if you kept those comments to yourself, for sure.”

Even though we are breaking the tension, he still leans down and kisses me on the top of the head.

“There is so much knowledge in that beautiful head of yours, isn’t there.” Rem watches my reaction.

“Pfft, yes, but it’s all useless.” The reality is that the knowledge comes from liking to read about social behavior, and that reading feeds my yearning to study psychology. So many of the traits in children fascinate me, where they came from, is it environmental or hereditary. I just wish I could read Rem a little better and know what makes him the way he is.

“Don’t do that, put yourself down. I’ve heard you do it before, and I don’t like it. You are an amazingly talented and beautiful woman. It’s about time you start believing it. Is there a man I need to teach a lesson to, that makes you be so down on yourself?” This man’s loyalty knows no bounds.

“Steady on, Rambo, unless you want to go back in time and find a group of twelve-year-old girls who made me feel worthless then I wouldn’t be too worried.” I shock myself with the memories that are flooding into me that I must have buried a long time ago. I haven’t thought about that stage in my life for a very long time, and obviously how harming it was on my self-confidence. God, that’s not something I want to talk about now.

“Let me fire up the time machine I keep through that secret door over there.” He points to the closet door that I’m sure has nothing behind it except files and random crap like most office cupboards do.

“Let’s go.” I pretend to stand up, only to have his strong arms pulling me back to exactly where he wants me and a place I’m loving being right now.

“We have gotten off track here.” I need to get us back on track because we can’t walk out of this room tonight without finally putting this to bed. Well, let’s not talk about the two of us and a bed, but instead, sorting out how we are going to get through this.

“Your fault with all your wolf pack knowledge.” I can feel his body tensing a little under me, and I know neither of us want to talk about this, but it’s time.

“Yes, well, now I’m bringing up the hard things. It’s obvious we have a thing for each other, and we have both agreed we can’t pursue it. What just happened on the desk can’t happen again.”

“Right, so next time we can try the kitchen counter?” he mumbles to himself.

“Rem, be serious.” I slap my hand on his chest right above his heart by accident, and his big hand quickly lands on top of it, pressing my hand even tighter against his heart. He’s not saying anything but just looking at me and speaking to me without words to tell me how torn he is.

“One year…” The way he is looking at me has me frozen, and I feel like I can’t breathe. “Can we put it on hold for one year? See where both our lives are then. You won’t be working for me anymore.”

I wish that was our only problem, but there is a small glimmer of hope in his words.

Taking in what he’s saying, I just don’t think he has really thought about this. “It won’t work, Rem. Remember what you told me.” As much as it hurts, I have to protect my heart. “You don’t do relationships.”

The look of disappointment registers on his face, and a small whisper escapes him that makes me want to cry for both of us. “But you’re the first woman in a long time who has made me think about trying again.”

Oh, Rem, what happened in your life, why are you so closed off? I wish I could dig deeper but that will only pull us further down into the vortex that we are both trying to fight from falling into.

I just let us both sit in that moment of silence until he could get through the feelings that he is battling against.

Sitting up straighter and readjusting me on his lap, I can tell the walls are back up, and he is about to say what he needs to and then shut this off.

“No restrictions, we live our lives, but in a year’s time, if we are both still single, will you agree to let me take you on a date? Start this properly. Out in the open, to hell with all the reasons not to.” Rem is serious, and the look of hope for my answer has me unable to say no to him like I probably should.

Instead, the only answer I can give him is one that I have lived my adult life by.

“If it’s meant to be, it will happen.” I pull my hand out from under his on his chest. I need to move away from him. Attempting to stand up, sadly this time he lets me.

“Oh, it’s meant to be, my little vixen, because no woman has ever made me come so freaking hard in my life. And I don’t intend to miss out on feeling that again.”

“Rem, stop it! Boundaries, we need them.” I cross my arms to let him know I’m serious.

“Okay, list them, but I get to veto the ones I don’t like.” He lays his arms along the back of the couch like he has all the control, and the reality is that he probably does.

Then I start listing them off the top of my head. “No sex! In any form.” Why is he smiling at me?

“No kissing.”

“Mm-hm,” is all he replies while I continue.

“No flirting, because you are an expert at it.”

He pretends to gasp and holds his chest like he is saying “who me?”

“You let me do my job and don’t give me any special treatment.”

“What makes you think I would?” The smirk on his face tells me he knows full well that the two hundred thousand pounds that is now sitting in my bank account blows that answer out of the water.

“I’m not even bothering to answer that. And you will get on with your job and working out how to fit Blaise into your work/life balance.”

“Easy.” Rem is so smug with these answers.

“Always put Blaise first, before me and before yourself.”

“A given.” Not that I’m sure he understands what that really means yet.

“Treat me like your friend, and let’s get to know each other, no expectations, just two housemates who are friends. I repeat, friends, do you hear that? Repeat after me.”

“Friends, or friends with…” He thinks he is hilarious.

“Don’t you dare say that word.”

“What word, El? Friends with… a working relationship.” He smiles in satisfaction at being such a smartass.

“We both know that’s not what you were about to say, and let me assure you, that word is off the table. I told you, that’s not me.”

“Mm-hm.” I hate when he doesn’t answer properly, because I know he is just saying it to make me happy when in fact he is ignoring what I said.

This will be the hardest one for him to accept, but it is non-negotiable. Getting ready for the reaction, I take a deep breath and start with the extra confidence I’m pulling to the surface to stand my ground.

“We can date if we choose to.” I know full well I won’t, but I need to make sure he has the opportunity.

“No, strike it off.” There is no casual tone in his voice. It’s blunt and to the point and forceful. Just like I expected.

“I won’t back down on this one. This is one of the most important ones. There is no way you can go twelve months without sex, I’m not stupid. That thing in your pants is a beast that will need release, and don’t try to deny it. You need to be able to have your normal one-night stands or find a woman who satisfies you.”

My words are irritating him as he stands slowly but with purpose and goes toe to toe with me in a few steps. He drops his face so close to mine that our lips are almost touching, and I can feel his breath as he replies, “Just watch me, baby. But thanks for the compliment.”

My legs almost collapse beneath me, and if I didn’t know before that statement that I was in trouble with this man, he just confirmed it… loud and clear.

I have never met such a sexual man that is so possessive of me, even though he can’t have me.

“Rem, please, you have to accept, we aren’t together.”

Oh God, my whole body is reacting to him being so close.

“Keep telling yourself that, El. In the meantime, I’ll be getting off with my hand every night with you in the room next to me, while you are doing the same. And don’t keep quiet… I want to hear you cry out my name.”

He smashes his lips onto mine and takes what he wants before he pulls away smiling and leaves me standing in a puddle in the middle of his office.

Oh. My. God!

I’m in trouble.

Big trouble, but I’m so here for it!