The Desire

Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

REMINGTON

A ll night her words kept going around in my head.

At a time when I should be able to completely shut all thoughts out of my head and just be focused on the problem at hand, and instead, all I keep thinking about is her agreeing to a date with another man.

Her words repeating over and over, “I suppose it’s just one night, one dinner…”

This stupid little charade of hers has to stop. I’m not letting another man touch what’s mine or even think he has a possibility of it.

And if El thinks I’m letting her anywhere near Dr. Dropkick, then she can think again. From the first moment I met him, I knew he had a thing for her, and while I wasn’t in a place to make a stance then, I sure as shit am now.

I’m sitting in my office on my third strong coffee for the night. I’m pissed as hell at the situation we are all in now, scrambling to stop Flynn from being dragged down by a video that is already viral. Before I even made it to my office, I paid Ewan Kentwall a little visit and told him what I thought of him and his useless security team. His reaction to me was not what I wanted. In fact, there was no reaction at all. I was waiting for a screaming match or one of the guys he surrounds himself with to take a swing at me, because although I don’t like to fight like that, I was ready to release hell’s fury on someone.

All I could do was continue working all night, and even if it wasn’t on the Flynn saga, I found things that needed my attention at other hotels. I woke staff up with pointless calls at a ridiculous time of night, but I couldn’t give a fuck. I’m up, so they can be too. It’s part of the job you take on when you get involved in security. Especially in a business that runs twenty-four hours a day, three hundred and sixty-five days of the year. But all that has done is left me alone in the office after I sent the others home to get some sleep, because there is nothing they can do now. It’s my responsibility to fix this, and although I can’t stop that video from being out there forever, I’ll be damned if I don’t find the real fucker who uploaded it and make them pay, big time.

Broderick found the influencer who was paid a measly two thousand pounds to send the emails to both Flynn and Felisha from her account. She claims she never had the file in the first place, and the bank account listed for the blackmail money is some anonymous offshore bank account. She swears she didn’t upload it, and she has no idea who it was that contacted her. Through all the tracing Broderick and my team did, it just sent them in circles which just pissed me off more. But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up.

So now I’m sitting on my couch in my office at seven am after my team has managed to get as many sites to take the video down as we can and have the PR department preparing a statement to be released this morning. We need to be on the front foot with this and drive the narrative. I’ve had no sleep, and I just want to go home, but I know it’s not a good idea. I can’t face Elouise yet.

There is something I need to do first. Well, two things in fact, but the first is to take a session with Cherie to calm the adrenaline that is coursing through my body. Nothing good is going to come from seeing El while I’m this ramped up. I’ll say things I don’t want to and act in a way I shouldn’t, to El or in front of Blaise.

Going home and sleeping is probably the smartest option, but I know I won’t be able to do that either. Picking up my phone, I call Flynn to check in on him. As much as he is a thorn in my side, it’s not his fault, nor does he even know that now. And regardless of him having a thing for the woman who he doesn’t know is my girlfriend, he is also my friend and one I will protect no matter what. No woman will come between my friendship or the vow I took when I accepted Nic’s job. To protect all of us, it’s my job and my life’s mission.

“Hey,” he says as he answers my call. His voice is not like I’ve ever heard from Flynn before.

This has really hit him hard. All the bravado and cockiness he displays on a daily basis is gone, and on the other end of my call is the rawness of a man who is feeling vulnerable.

“Hey, buddy, how are you doing? Get any sleep?” Looking out the window across from me, I know while London is waking up, this is going to hit the papers and is about to get worse before it gets any better.

“I don’t know, maybe, I couldn’t tell you. I feel like I have just stared at my ceiling for a few hours, but there may have been a few naps in there. To be honest, I’m pretty numb right now.” And that is the voice of a broken man. We need to fix this. We can’t let him fall into the bottomless pit that is the repercussions of social media and the internet.

“Have you spoken to Felisha? Is she doing okay?” Because I know her father didn’t appear to be give a shit when I was there. I hope to hell that it was his poker face when he felt backed against a wall, otherwise he is an even bigger dick than I thought he was.

“Not good. Shattered, actually. We are meeting up this morning.”

“I don’t think that is a good idea, Flynn. Today you both need to just lie low at home, don’t leave your apartments, and avoid all chance of the media getting hold of you.” I’m waiting for Flynn to tell me to fuck off, but instead, the words I hear confirm what I was thinking.

“Yeah, okay, whatever you think is best.” Flynn is defeated. The world is completely off kilter because this is not normal. He should be yelling, objecting, and telling me he’s a grown man and will do what he likes.

I need to call Nic and get him over there. I don’t have time to look after him, and Nic knows him far better than all of us. He knows how to handle him.

“Alright, I’m going to let you try to get some more sleep. I have things I need to do. But like we told you last night, don’t answer the phone unless it is one of us. Don’t answer the door, and let the doorman downstairs deal with anyone who tries to get into the building. We have posted extra security on the door to help them, so there is no way some sleazy reporter can pay off the doorman to sneak in. We both know everyone has a price, and whoever this was will regret not asking for more, because no amount of money is going to be worth the hellfire about to hit them when I find them. And I will find them!” No matter how exhausted I am or how the rage I feel is coming up and boiling just below the surface again.

“Rem?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks, and I’m sorry. And for what’s it worth, I know I joked about this happening, but I didn’t think it ever would. I’m sorry you have to clean up my shit. You are a good friend.” This poor man is in the worst moment of his life, and he has no idea he has just made me feel like the lowest man on this planet. How can I be a good friend to him when I’m fucking the woman he has been infatuated with since the moment she walked in the door with Tori?

If I didn’t feel like I wanted to explode before, then I do now.

“I’ve got you, Flynn. You don’t have to apologize for anything. The person who took that video does, and they will be on their knees in front of you and Felisha when they do. Talk later.” Hanging up and laying my head back on the couch, I throw my phone down next to me and let out the biggest sigh.

I need to fix this.

All of it!

I didn’t quite time it right when I finally went home, and as soon as I saw El, I knew I made the right decision not wanting to talk to her yet. The hug from Blaise felt amazing, but I knew if I touched El I wouldn’t leave, and that wouldn’t be good for either of us. So instead, I left her standing in front of the house thinking I’m the biggest asshole after the way I spoke to her.

Pulling up out the front of Cherie’s studio in the Porsche is not ideal because it’s not in a good neighborhood, but that’s why it’s here. She is trying to make a difference with the kids who need her, and the reality is they come from the worst areas and live hard lives. Normally I bring the Range Rover which isn’t a whole lot better, but the kids are likely to think it’s an undercover cop car and leave it alone. The Porsche just screams wealth.

Getting out, I grab the bag off the front seat that I brought with me from home when I quickly threw some gym gear in it. My other bag is still in the back of the Range Rover because I haven’t needed to see Cherie since we got back from Scotland. My energy is being used in a far more enjoyable way than getting challenged in a boxing ring.

Standing on the pavement and looking back at the car, I push the lock and alarm system. I walk toward the door, but something doesn’t feel right. I hate that feeling because I’m normally right. Not seeing anything as I look around, it’s probably just the lack of sleep and being the most wrung out I have been in a very long time. My senses are off, and I just need to get back in control.

“I thought I’d finally got rid of you.” Cherie laughs at me as I pull the gloves on.

“Don’t want to hear it. Don’t hold back.” Shaking out my arms, I try and loosen them up.

“That shit doesn’t fly with me, big guy. Get your fists up and start talking.” The first jab hits me in the ribs just under where I had my arms up. My concentration is off, and I’ve got a reaction speed worse than Blaise. “Fuck, you haven’t been this useless since you first started with me years ago. Fucking hit me, or did she take your balls too when she screwed you over?”

The explosion I have been holding in since last night erupts at the words she just threw at me. “Don’t talk about her like that!”

Thump, duck, cross, duck, and this time she connects with me.

“Who, the girl you’re regretting letting in?” The more she yells at me, I’m struggling to hold it together.

“No! I didn’t let her in, she just pushed open the door, and I couldn’t stop her.”

Shit, that jab into the gut takes the wind from my lungs.

“So now it’s not worth it because the bitch has screwed you over. Is that it?”

“Not… a… bitch!” I grab her in a hold while I try to get my breath back. “She’s a precious jewel that I need to protect from people who want to steal her.”

Cherie ducks out of my hold on her and pushes me, trying to get me moving again.

“Why would they steal her?” Cherie calls as she stumbles backward from a few punches from me.

And I feel like I’m releasing a burning flame from my heart. “Because they don’t fucking know she’s mine!” I can’t hold back. Letting go of everything inside me, I unleash hellfire on Cherie.

Punch, punch, punch, punch. Repeatedly, and she just stands there letting me go until I’m slowing enough, then she whips her leg out around mine. I find myself on the mat on my back, looking up at one of the only people in this world who I’ve given every piece of me to, and she has taken good care of it.

“God damn it, she’s mine.” My voice a little less aggressive, just sucking in the air I need to even be able to get up.

Standing there just waiting me out, Cherie holds her hand out to help me up, but my stubborn ass won’t accept it. I need to pull myself out of this crazy mess, and it starts now.

“Okay, asshole, do it yourself.” She steps back from me, allowing me room but not walking away from me on the mat. “Now we are getting somewhere.”

I position my feet in the stance to balance myself because I know we aren’t finished.

“Now, what are you going to do about it?” Cherie starts pushing me again, a few jabs into the air that this time I manage to dodge.

“Don’t know. The timing is fucked up.” I’m moving quicker on my feet now, the more I start talking.

“Why?” It’s all she needs to reply, and it all starts pouring out. Everything with El and the Flynn problem that has just complicated everything. I keep going, and she doesn’t let up on me until I physically can’t do anything more. With the last kickboxing move she landed on me that has me face down on the mat, Cherie has her elbow in the middle of my back, and I tap out.

After I strip off my gloves and towel down my body from the sweat that is running after such an intense workout, I drop into the seat across from where Cherie is sitting drinking her water.

“Well, that exorcized some demons, didn’t it?” She laughs at me rolling my eyes at her.

“Too bad I’m still in the same situation I was when I arrived.” I gulp down water that my body desperately needs to replace what I just lost in sweat.

“That’s where you are wrong, and you know it,” she says, pointing her finger at me with a serious look.

Letting it sink in, she continues, “If you had tried to speak to Elouise before you came to me, it would have ended badly for you both. And if you found this internet scum, you would have beaten them within an inch of their life—if they were lucky. Instead, you can leave here and now go to her, talk rationally, and tell her how it made you feel to think of her even pretending to be with another man, just to keep some stupid secret.”

I drop my head into my hands in exhaustion. That workout would have drained me on a normal day, but without any sleep, I can feel the fatigue hitting harder than normal.

“And as for Flynn, when you find the fucker responsible for this, give me a call. I’ll happily have your back as you take them down like they need to be. But more importantly, send Flynn to me. I’ll make sure he doesn’t end up falling further than he already has. He might think this will break him, but I can show him that he’s got strength he didn’t know he had. Just like you did, and we both know that letting out your fears and anger in a controlled environment is far better than being a ticking time bomb, just waiting for someone to light that fuse.”

Chuckling out loud, I sit back up. “Not sure I could see Flynn in the ring with anyone, let alone you.”

“What do you mean with me, what’s that supposed to mean?” Cherie sits forward in her chair, getting ready to give me a mouthful of retort for whatever I’m about to reply.

“Only that he’d be shit scared of you, and I’m not sure the counselling session would work too well if he can’t talk from fear or in between the blubbering because you have hurt him.”

I’m picturing my friend, who is so bold and cocky but who’s never been into boxing, facing off against a woman who does this all day every day and never even looks like she breaks much of a sweat.

She smiles at me like a Cheshire cat. “All the more reason to get him in here, I’ll make a man out of him.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, he’s all man, and there are hundreds of women who can testify to that. He’s tall and built, but I just have a feeling behind the manly persona is a big softie.”

“You know I need to meet him now, right? Regardless of if it’s in here or not. Make it happen, Rem. He sounds intriguing, and I bet I could get him to agree after one meeting to take me on in the ring.” She loves a challenge, and Flynn must sound like one to her.

It must be the delirium from lack of sleep or the few beatings to the head I just had every time I hit the floor. “Do you own a dress?” I ask before I think this through.

“Fuck off, asshole, of course I own a dress. I don’t wear this all the time,” she says, waving her hand in front of herself. “Damn, I might not be rich like you, but I still have some class.” She huffs like I have insulted her.

“I didn’t mean that how it sounded, I meant a glam dress, or evening dress I think they call it,” I say, trying to dig myself out of the hole and not really succeeding.

“Oh, so you aren’t talking about the mesh one that just covers my ass, and you can see my nipples through the holes. A different one than that?” She throws her gloves at me to make her point.

“Okay, got it, you own an evening gown, then have it on and be ready at seven pm on Friday night. I’ll have my driver pick you up, and you can be my plus-one for the dinner. And if you can behave, I’ll sit you next to Flynn and watch you crash and burn. I’ll bet fifty quid he will never box you on this mat.”

Reaching out with my hand, she is quick to take it and shake on it.

“Challenge accepted. I’ll message you my address. But can I just say I’m not sure me being your plus-one is a great idea.”

In my head, I probably agree with her, but it’s too late now. Because part of me can’t wait to see two of the cockiest people I know meet up, and it may be just what Flynn needs right now. A distraction from all the crap that is around him.

By the time I reach my car, which is still sitting perfectly fine on the street where I left it, I hadn’t noticed how long I had been here. Two hours is a long time to be offline when we are in the biggest crisis for the company since Nic was falsely accused of drug possession in Rome. At least we had his innocence on our side in that one, but this is clearly Flynn and Felisha, and there is no getting out of that. He just needs to own it and hope like hell someone does something even more stupid in the next few days and his hairy white ass on camera becomes old news.

I sit in my car for another forty-five minutes answering messages, emails, and checking on how bad the media reports are, until finally, I’m on the road. Instead of going home, there is one more place I need to visit.

“Rem, I wasn’t expecting you.” Nic’s tired tone hits me as he stands in front of the apartment door.

“Yeah, sorry, I knew you were at home by the tracking for your phone.” Something I have had on all our devices since the beginning but have very rarely looked at them. But I needed to be able to talk to Nic on his own and away from the office.

“Must be serious for you to track me. And if it’s anything worse than last night’s drama, I’m not sure I want to hear it today.” Walking in his bare feet back to the large lounge that looks over the London skyline, I can tell he is trying to relax amid the chaos.

“Yeah, it is, but nothing like last night, although it does have to do with Flynn.” And the sound of his friend’s name leaving my lips has him stopping dead in his tracks and turning back to me, with tight lips and a look that tells me I need to start talking now. We might all be friends, but there is a special bond between Nic and Flynn that comes from years of friendship before we even knew them.

There is no easy way to say this, and I’m sick of holding it in any longer.

“Elouise and I are together and have been since Scotland. But if I’m being honest, I first slept with her on Christmas night in Rome.”

“Fuck, Rem, I fucking knew it.” Clasping his hands, he reaches up to the top of his head. The annoyed sigh coming out of his mouth tells me he’s not happy. “Why? I told you all she was off limits! Fuckkk!” he yells loudly in the air to nobody and turns away from me, walking to the window, and I can see his fists down by his side, clenched so tight, and the muscles in his shoulders and neck are now tense.

But as much as I’m trying to tread lightly, I’m not about to sit back and not stand up for myself or Elouise.

“Yeah, maybe so, but we are grown adults, Nic, who you don’t get to tell who they can be with. If I had told you Tori was off limits for any reason, would that have stopped you?”

He’s silent for a few seconds, and thankfully his shoulders drop slightly. He turns back toward me, but he is still pissed. Now I just need to find out if it’s with me or the situation I’ve just dumped in his lap.

“Not a chance, and you know it.” I can see the lines on his forehead are tight, and he is staring so intently that it’s like he is trying to read my soul. “Do you love her?”

“Yes.” And it’s as simple as that. I might not have told her, but in the center of my heart I know without a doubt that she is the only woman I have wanted to have more with, to be more, and can see me making a life with.

“Then sit down, we need to talk.” And although I can tell he still wants to kill me, he won’t, and I can trust that he will help me find a way through all this.

“Actually, fuck, what time it is? I need a beer, and if I’m drinking, so are you!” Storming toward his kitchen, he returns with two cold beers, passing me one and clinking his on mine.

“Here’s to the women who complicate life and drive us insane, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I can’t help letting a deep laugh escape me. “I’ll drink to that.” I take a long, deep mouthful of a beer that hits just right.

Nic has a few sips and has just been staring at me, and I can tell he’s thinking his plan of attack through before he finally starts the conversation.

“You can’t tell Flynn, not yet.” The protective friend already makes sure he lays down the ground rules.

“Obviously. He’s worse than I thought. Did you go over and see him?”

“Yeah, but don’t get off topic. So why now, of all times, why did you choose to tell me now?”

And that’s the ten-million-dollar question, isn’t it. I could make up some bullshit reason, but that’s not why I’m here. It’s time for the truth.

“Two reasons.” I take another gulp of beer, swallowing it and then taking a deep breath.

“I hated lying to you, but Elouise was scared of telling everyone, because of Flynn, our strong friendship group, Tori warning every one of us to stay away from her and forbidding Elouise to be with any one of us. And of course, she worried about what it would mean for the business if something went wrong. Plus, we didn’t want to confuse Blaise; he is only little and has had so much change, we didn’t want him to get even more attached to her than he is and then she walks away. Fat chance I would let her, but she didn’t know that then.”

“Christ, women are complex thinkers. Seriously, that’s a lot, and it’s only the first reason. What’s the second?”

I feel my adrenaline starting to rise again. “I’m a jealous fucker!” I admit it more aggressively than I should have and grasp my beer bottle tighter in my hand.

I leave the words just hanging in the air until Nic starts laughing a deep belly laugh. Putting his beer down on the coffee table in front of him, he continues to laugh.

“Victoria’s matchmaking,” he gets out between chuckles.

Not that I can see the funny side of it, I’m sure to him this is just a daily occurrence of the stupid shit his soon-to-be wife does.

“No way in hell Dr. Dipshit is getting anywhere near El, mark my words. If he even gets close to touching her on Friday night, then you will be bailing me out of jail for assault.” Standing, I walk to the window, just trying to calm my annoyance down again. Every time that guy’s name is mentioned it’s like something explodes in my brain.

“Take it from me, jail food sucks, and the steel seats are cold on your ass, so let’s avoid that if we can.”

“Don’t worry, I just plan on tying El to our bed and not giving her a reason to leave all night, and then the crisis will be averted. That work for you?” I need to lighten the situation up like Nic is trying to.

“Okay, firstly, El, is it?” The smirk on his face finally tells me this is all going to be okay, well, for now anyway.

“Yeah, that’s mine, and no, you can’t call her that.” I know it’s just a name, but a part of my personality that hasn’t really reared its head before now is that I don’t like to share.

“Noted. And secondly, don’t tell me shit like that. If you are with someone who has become like my little sister, never ever utter a word about your sex life with her, not even a hint. Got it?” He is a little more serious this time.

And it’s my turn to laugh at him, especially when Tori is the queen of oversharing their sex life or insinuating things we don’t want to know.

“Noted.”

My mind moves to what we need to sort out. “But now that you know…”

Nic cuts me off. “I already knew, or suspected and prayed like hell I was wrong. Not because I don’t approve, because fuck, I do, and I love you both. But just because it’s messy and you know how much I hate messy. Christ, I’m about to marry messy, and she’s enough for one man to cope with in life. And how Victoria hasn’t worked it out yet is surprising, but lucky for you both. Now continue.” He waves his hand in the air at me to keep talking.

“Understood. So now that you know, you can’t tell anyone, and especially not Tori, not yet.”

“See? Fucking messy, I told you.” He rolls his eyes at me.

“There is no way Flynn can take another hit right now, and there is also no way Tori can keep a secret, and let me assure you, you don’t want her to try. I’m watching it eat away at El, and not being able to talk to Tori is almost killing her. Those girls are so close, and she has never kept anything from her, so I can’t imagine it’s going to go down well when she does finally tell her. To be honest, I’m surprised she hasn’t suspected something yet too.”

“One word—wedding! She is trying so hard to find out what I have planned that she is missing the normal things that would trigger her nosy nature. You’re lucky, buddy.”

“So, we need to keep it between us, and I’m not telling El you know either. But I respect you too much to keep it from you any longer.”

“I appreciate it, Rem. That’s why you are one of my guys. I trust you with my life. Nothing says respect more than that. Got it?”

“Yeah, boss, got it.” I try to keep my face blank but can’t when he reacts straight away.

“Don’t you start that shit! That’s Flynn’s department to piss me off.”

“Speaking of Flynn, what are going to do with him?”

“Protect him as much as we can, that’s all we can do besides the obvious. Oh, and find that fucker and destroy them like they are trying to destroy us.”

You can see the moment both our brains click back into work mode by the body language, sitting up straighter on the couch, both getting ready to move and get on with the day.

We both stand and make our way toward the elevator like an unspoken end to our meeting.

But before I leave, there are two more things I need to say.

“I haven’t told her I love her yet.”

“Then don’t leave it until it’s too late,” Nic replies, talking from experience.

I nod to him before I drop the next thing on him. Pushing the call button for the elevators, the doors open in front of me.

As I step in, I give him the last piece of information I need to share. “Oh yeah, and I’m also bringing a plus-one on Friday night. And if anyone can fix Flynn, it’s my friend Cherie, you just wait till you meet her. Talk later.” The doors start closing, and his eyes tell me what he is thinking before he starts saying it.

“See? Fucking messy. I hate you, asshole!”

And I don’t know why, but that brings me a little joy for the day. Because it feels normal to piss off one of my friends.

Lord knows we could do with some normal today.

Now to go home and face the next problem.