Chapter 20 Eleanor #2
Allowing myself to be completely vulnerable, I explain, “Honestly? My boss knows my mother. I’ve been a disappointment to her my whole life, with my curly hair, my bigger body, so many different things.
The only thing she’s been proud of was me becoming a lawyer, and after that, hearing positive things about me from my boss. ”
I was making so much progress on Starry Hill.
There, on that tiny island with its warm community and welcoming embrace, I feel like I can truly be myself, wear clothes that make me happy, set my curls free, speak my thoughts, and laugh at whatever volume I want.
But when I stepped back into my workplace, it’s like my brain rewound itself, erasing my confidence, and stripping away my personality until I once again became a husk of myself—another cog in their machine.
“Toxic, gaslighting bitch,” Audrey hisses.
Tilly asks, “What does your mother do to make you proud?”
“I…” A couple of seconds pass as I give that some thought. “Nothing.”
Pulling my hand into her lap, Lucille asks gently, “My dear Eleanor, what do you really want? In your heart of hearts? What would make you truly happy? Not what’s expected of you, not what you think anyone else wants you to do, but you, as Eleanor Landry, what do you truly want?”
I’m so tired of living up to my mother’s expectations. I’m so tired of her voice in my head and feeling like an eternal disappointment. I want to be free. To leave behind my job, the city, and everything holding me back from living the life I want for myself.
But most of all, I want to be with Beck, to build a future with him, maybe even start our own family, in Starry Hill. Of that, I am absolutely certain. Everything else I’ll figure out.
Tears well in my eyes and my voice cracks. “I want to be happy. With Beck.” Pushing past the tears choking me, I keep my confession going. “I want to live in Starry Hill. I want to work at The Dancing Daisy. And eat lots of bread every day.”
Lucille reaches up and wipes a tear rolling down my cheek. “I was going to discuss this with you yesterday when you came to the shop, but maybe you weren’t ready for it then. Maybe fate brought us to this moment for a reason.”
Around the room, everyone is silent as they wait for Lucille to continue. Tilly dabs at her eyes and Maisie gives me an encouraging smile. Even Audrey seems riveted, her glass paused halfway to her mouth.
Lucille’s grin turns watery. “It’s time for me to hand over The Dancing Daisy into someone else’s capable hands. Someone who has loved that shop just as much as I have, someone who will continue the legacy that my Lochan’s family started so many years ago.”
I suck in a shaky breath, tears streaming down my face. “Lucille, that’s incredibly kind of you, but I don’t think I have the type of capital to buy it from you.”
Shaking her head, Lucille explains, “You’re not allowed to buy it. It’s a gift. It’s the tradition of the island, to hand over businesses when the time is right to the creature most suitable for that place.”
“Lucille…”
She reaches up and wipes away another one of my tears, her own now making their way down her weathered cheeks.
“I’ll add that The Daisy and your relationship with Beck aren’t mutually exclusive.
I can say that it has helped me with the decision to know you have him on the island, a solid support system for you and The Daisy, but even if things don’t work out—which we know isn’t a possibility—the shop is still yours. ”
An ugly sob makes it way out of me and Audrey hands me a tissue, quickly dispensing some to all of us.
Lucille continues, “I love that boy almost as much as you do, but that didn’t sway my opinion of you. Your dedication to the community, your love for books, your care for our Daisy, your kindness and big capacity for love, those all convinced me. So what do you say? Ready to start a new job?”
Audrey scowls at me through her own tears. “If you don’t say yes right now, I’m going to punch you in the tit.”
A couple of watery giggles resound around the room, then I choke out, “Of course. Yes. It would be my honor. I promise to take such good care of her.”
I wrap Lucille in as tight of a hug as I dare, whispering my thanks over and over again, vowing to do my best and make our Daisy a pillar in the community.
Maisie raises a hand, her cheeks still streaked with tears. “Now that the job situation is taken care of, what’s the plan with Beck?”
I look at the women as courage takes root in my heart. “Is it too soon to plan a big gesture to show Beck how much I love him? How much I want us to be together forever? Like, I want to sell my apartment and move in with him and start our lives together. Is that too weird?”
Audrey’s eyes widen to a comically large degree and she visibly presses her lips together. Thankfully she knows this question wasn’t directed at her and stays silent, waiting for the other ladies to give me advice.
Tilly shrugs and shakes her head. “It took me less than a week to know with Bodin.”
Maisie gives her shoulders a little shimmy like she’s recalling a particularly fond memory. “Ren had me from the first day I saw him. I just didn’t know it yet.”
Lucille bumps me with her bony elbow. “It’s never too soon when you’re sure. Lochan and I met, that night we made love, and we never spent a day without each other again after that.”
Gaze hopping between the women, a chuckle bubbles up from me. “Holy shit. I’m slow by your standards.”
Audrey takes a long swig from her glass. “The dick must be really good in Starry Hill.”
Wiggling her eyebrows at Audrey, Maisie teases, “Damn straight, it is. Want to come over and find out for yourself?”
“In all seriousness though,” Tilly says, nipping that line of conversation in the bud. “It’s different with nonhuman guys. Once they decide on you, that’s it. Game over. Surrender your heart right then and there. Consensually, of course.”
I think back to how things were when Shinsu and I were just friends, even though I had long harbored stronger feelings for him.
The moment he kissed me though, I was done for and everything snowballed fairly quickly.
We were on this trajectory to our happily ever after, until I had to ruin it.
I only hope it’s not too late to win him back.
“Okay, so big gesture,” Maisie says, rubbing her hands together. “Do you have any ideas?”
My smile comes easily as I remember the bracelet sitting in my keepsake box. “I have a little something I’ve been saving for twenty-two years and I think it’s time to show Beck how long I’ve kept him in my heart.”
“You packing your bags too?” Audrey asks.
“I’m packing everything.”
Right after I’m handing in my resignation letter tomorrow, I’m setting sail for Starry Hill, and never looking back.