Chapter 21
Beck
Lavender pierces my senses, but I must be mistaken. Maybe it’s the plant from upstairs that I’m scenting in my melancholy haze.
Since Friday’s phone call, I’ve not moved from this chair. I’ve hardly slept or eaten.
It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.
I shift into a slightly more comfortable position and pull the soft pillow more snuggly against me, a poor substitute for the feel of Nori in my arms, but it does quell the strongest ache for her.
Loneliness has always been a familiar companion, yet, it feels different now. I feel empty, a cavern now sits where my heart once was.
But I deserve this.
I abandoned Nori when we were young, and now it’s only fair that she gets to abandon me. That’s been the pattern of my life. The ones I love never want to keep me.
My ears ring in the quiet, and I almost imagine I hear Nori’s footsteps outside, but I quickly shove that thought down.
Time has blurred together, sunlight the only markers telling me of its passage as I remain in what was supposed to be Nori’s reading corner.
At some point over the past few days, I heard the guys outside and I realized it must be Saturday, but thankfully they left without any further questions.
I know I have duties to return to for Starry Hill, but never has a Monday looked so bleak.
I can’t even muster the energy to go to Lucille’s, scared of the pity she’ll have in her eyes when she sees me.
A sharp gasp alerts me to someone’s presence but I don’t turn around to see who it is. My dragon doesn’t react either, still burrowed away deep where I can’t sense him.
“Shinsu,” the voice says quietly as a hand lands on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Slowly, recognition dawns and I lift my head to see Nori’s tear-filled eyes. “Nori?”
“Hi, my love,” she whispers and with shaking fingers brushes hair out of my face.
I frown, not knowing if this is a hallucination or reality. “You’re here?”
Nori swallows and nods with a trembling smile. “Yes. I’m so sorry for not coming earlier.”
“How did you get here?” I ask, my voice hoarse after days of disuse.
“Viggo brought me,” Nori says cautiously.
At this admission, my dragon peeks his jealous head out the tiniest fraction. It’s a relief to know I haven’t lost him forever, but I’m still nervous that this is all a dream and Nori isn’t really here. I can’t afford to hope.
Nori lowers onto her knees in front of me and cups my face so gently it’s like a butterfly landing on skin. “Shinsu, when’s the last time you’ve slept or eaten?”
“I don’t know.” My brain still feels hazy and nothing makes sense.
A lonely tear rolls down Nori’s cheek. “Have you gone for a swim to settle your dragon lately?”
“No.” Instinctively, I reach forward and wipe the warm tear away.
Nori folds her fingers around mine and presses my palm to her cheek. “Let’s get you fed first and then in the water. I’ll explain everything after.”
“I’m sorry if I stink,” I croak.
Huffing the tiniest laugh, Nori says, “I don’t care, my love.”
I swallow hard. “Are you really back? You didn’t… abandon me?”
Nori’s composure cracks. She shakes her head furiously, her mouth rumpling, her words an emphatic declaration. “Never. Not in this lifetime or any that follow. I love you, Shinsu. You’re my forever. My happily ever after.”
“Really?” I rasp, fighting back my own tears as I catch hers.
“Would I lie to you?” Nori stands and points toward the dock. “Look. My bags are outside. If it’s okay with you, then I’m here to stay. For as long as you’ll have me.”
I take her hand in mine, halting her before she goes too far. “You brought clothes?”
“I brought everything,” Nori whispers. “I quit my job too.”
“You quit?” Somewhere in the back of my mind I know I should say something more eloquent, ask her better questions, but my brain is having a tough time catching up with my emotions.
Nori’s smile is small as she tucks my hair behind my ear, but there’s a lightness in her that has my dragon curiously creeping forward to witness everything.
“Yup. I’m not going back to Cape Easton.”
True hope sparks in my chest and scales ripple under Nori’s touch. “You’re really, really here?”
“I am.”
“Can I hug you?”
“Please.”
I pull Nori into my lap and bury my face in her neck, breathing her in deeply.
Tears roll freely down my face, my back shaking with silent sobs, as I try to process everything while Nori whispers over and over again, “I love you, Shinsu. I love you.”
Slowly I come back to myself, my dragon returning too, though weaker than before. “I’ve always loved you, Nori, and always will.”
Nori presses her forehead to mine. “I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.”
“I love you,” I whisper again, also never tiring of saying it.
She pulls back and gives me a faux stern look. “Now, go jump in the shower quickly and then let’s get you fed while I explain everything that’s happened. After, we can take your dragon for a swim.”
I do as Nori says, and by the time I get out of the shower, I feel a little more like myself.
When I enter the kitchen, there’s a bouquet of bread waiting on the table, one from each of her visits over the last couple of months surrounded by an array of spreads.
My stomach grumbles at the sight of my favorite food group and my heart flutters at the thoughtfulness of the gesture.
“You prepared all of this for me?” I ask, already reaching for the cranberry orange sourdough from Nori’s first visit. The aroma of the freshly baked bread fills my nostrils, my body relaxing into a seat at how familiar this feels with Nori here.
“I did,” Nori says brightly from her spot against the counter. “I brought all of your favorites, but there’s a new one I thought we could try. If you want?”
“Please.”
Nori moves to the side and reveals a round container that reminds me of one my grandmother used to have. I sniff the air, my brain slowly placing the sweet scent. Nori bites her bottom lip as she brings it over, waiting for my reaction.
Not even looking down to check, I ask excitedly, “Is this jjinppang?”
“Yes. I’ve been craving them for years and finally found a bakery who has the perfect ratio of sweet red bean filling to steamed dough, just like your grandmother used to make.”
Unable to resist a second longer, I lift the lid and bring the container to my nose, the aroma bringing so many memories from my childhood with it. I bite into the still-warm bread, savoring the sweet taste in my mouth before swallowing it down.
“You remember eating them with me?” I ask around my next mouthful.
Nori’s mouth curls up into soft smile. “I remember everything about you. All our dances, all the snacks under that big old tree in the backyard, the chess games, waiting every year for you to arrive, and dreading the end of summer when you had to say goodbye.”
Guilt rips through me at still not having told her everything. “I remember everything about us too. Can I explain why I didn’t say goodbye that last time?”
Nori shakes her head, but her smile doesn’t move. “Soon. First, I’m going to explain what happened this weekend while you finish eating. When you have your strength back, then you can have a turn to tell me whatever you want.”
I wolf down three of the big steamed buns while Nori talks.
She explains why she couldn’t come, apologizes multiple times, tells me about how Lucille gifted her The Dancing Daisy, and finally how Maisie, Tilly, Lucille, and Audrey helped her pack up her belongings to move to Starry Hill to start her new life here.
Though still weak, my dragon hangs onto every word and flits scales down my skin whenever Nori needs encouragement to continue.
My heart beats faster as I realize this is really it, that there are no more goodbyes needed between us, and that fate has truly smiled down on me, letting me keep my Nori for the rest of my life.
“I have one more thing for you, my lovely Shinsu,” Nori says as she reaches into her big tote bag.
Body stilling, breathing shallow, I gape at the handmade bracelet in Nori’s hand. “It’s just like the ones you used to make me. When did you make this one?”
Nori fastens the bracelet around my wrist, and I admire the intricate patterns as she explains, “I’ve been holding onto this bracelet for twenty-two years.
I remember working on it for hours every night, weaving together the orange, blue, and white threads over and over again until I got it perfect.
Just like I did every year for your birthday.
I’ve always loved you, Shinsu. And a part of me never gave up hope that I would see you again. ”
“Wait here.” With speed summoned out of pure desperation to show Nori how long I’ve loved her too, I rush up the stairs and dig into my nightstand drawer for the old box I’ve not opened in years. I race down the stairs again and place it in Nori’s hands.
Slowly, Nori lifts the lid. “Shinsu,” she breathes, her eyes wide as she traces the remnants of bracelets, her fingers gliding over the frayed threads of each one she made me since we were seven years old. “You kept them all?”
I pull my chair closer to Nori’s and let her read the truth in my eyes.
“I wore them every day until they were frayed. When they couldn’t stay safely on my wrist any longer, I saved them in here, waiting for the next year you’ll give me a new one again.
” I brush my thumb across her quivering lip.
“I’ve always loved you too, Nori. Have you noticed the color of my front door?
When I moved to Starry Hill, I was told to pick a color.
Any color. I had to pick my favorite—the shade of your hair when it catches the brightest rays of the sun.
Even the chairs in The Dancing Daisy I picked out for Lucille are inspired by your hair. You’ve always been a part of me, Nori.”