Chapter 26
CHAPTER 26
NICOLE
The bathroom was my refuge. After Atticus’ speech, I needed a moment.
His niece found me staring at myself in the restroom mirror.
“Hey, Nicole. You okay?”
I turned, forcing a smile. “Yeah.”
Kenzie narrowed her eyes. “If you say so...”
I smoothed out the wrinkles in my dress. “You’ve been working hard.”
“It’s been nonstop craziness.” She sighed. “Since everyone’s eating, this was my first opportunity to use the bathroom.” Kenzie entered one of the stalls. “You sure you’re okay?”
I could hear her peeing. “I’m fine. I just needed a breather…”
“After my uncle’s speech, you mean?”
I stilled. “That didn’t help.”
“I nearly died when he mentioned you. Well, not directly, but you know what I mean.”
Yeah, that hadn’t been on my bingo card, either. I exhaled. “I think my coming here might have been a mistake, Kenzie.”
She exited the stall and came over to the sink. “Why?”
“Seeing him here today…under these circumstances…it’s just been a lot.”
She pumped some foamy soap. “Seeing him makes you realize how much you still love him?”
“It’s never been about not loving him.”
“The feeling is clearly mutual.” She smiled. “And gosh, Nicole, can I just say… You look beautiful. No wonder he couldn’t take his eyes off you during the ceremony.”
I smiled. While that didn’t surprise me, I hadn’t noticed because I’d kept my eyes fixed on Tristan and Emily to avoid feeling too much when it came to Atticus standing at the altar.
She dried her hands. “Gotta run.” Kenzie sped out the door.
I lingered for a few more minutes before forcing myself to leave the bathroom. Except instead of returning to my assigned seat at a table filled with strangers, I walked out another doorway, which led to a balcony. A set of stairs there led to the beach below. I took off my shoes and walked down to the shore.
Staring out at the ocean, I let the wind blow through my hair. I knew I couldn’t hide all night, but I wasn’t ready to face him.
A deep voice came from behind me. “If I didn’t know better, I would think you were avoiding me.”
I turned to find Atticus looking even more handsome than before, the ocean breeze tousling his previously coiffed hair. The sadness in his eyes brought down my guard a bit.
“I think I have been avoiding you,” I admitted.
“Why?”
“Because being here is overwhelming. And every time I look at you, I’m reminded of what I threw away.”
He took a step toward me. “You know damn well that I’m the reason we’re not together. Not the other way around.”
“Not entirely. If I hadn’t given up on us in the first place, we would still be together.”
“You had your reasons at the time.”
“Well, none of them make sense to me anymore. How the hell could I have let you go like that?” I shook my head. “Anyway, this wedding is just bringing out a lot of emotions in me.”
He sighed. “I’m glad you didn’t skip the reception. I was about to text you, thinking you went back to the hotel, or maybe you were already at the airport, headed back to New York. How long have you been out here?”
“Not long.”
“Where were you before then? I looked everywhere for you.”
“I was hiding in the bathroom after your speech.”
He nodded slowly. “So you did hear it?”
“Yeah. I did.”
“I wasn’t planning on going off the rails like that. It wasn’t part of the script or anything.”
“We’ve never really stuck to the script, have we?” I smiled sadly. “Nothing turned out the way it was supposed to.”
“Well, I do feel like you were supposed to be here with me at this wedding. I’ve felt it from the moment I first sensed your presence earlier.” His eyes traveled the length of my body. “You look incredibly beautiful, Nicole. I wasn’t prepared for how it was gonna feel to see you in the church. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
“I came because of you,” I admitted. “Sure, it was nice to do Emily a favor. But she could’ve gotten another stylist. This was an excuse. I’ve missed you so much.”
Atticus reached for me, pulling me to him. The smell of the ocean was quickly replaced by his woodsy scent. I let myself melt into the warmth of his arms as the waves crashed around us. “Please stop running from me tonight,” he whispered against my neck. His breath heated my entire body. “Feel however you need to, say whatever you need to, even if it hurts me—just stop running.”
“Okay, definitely not sneaking a smoke out here like I thought,” someone said.
I pulled away from Atticus, and we both turned to find Ronan standing there.
“Uh…” I muttered. “We were just—”
He held up his palms. “No explanation needed. I was only checking to make sure my dude was okay after his… demure speech and all.” He turned to Atticus. “Saw you leave, so figured I’d see what you were up to. Now I know.”
Atticus nodded. “I’m good.”
“I can see that.” Ronan smirked. “I’ll let you two be.”
As he walked away, I turned back to Atticus. “We should go inside. I don’t want them to think you’re being rude. It doesn’t matter if I’m not in there, but you’re a member of the wedding party.”
“Trust me, no one but Ronan is paying attention to my whereabouts. I’m happy to go back in, but I’m not going anywhere without you.”
I rubbed my arms. “It’s getting kind of chilly anyway.”
Atticus reached for my hand. “Let’s go inside.”
He led me up the stairs and back into the venue.
Rather than return to where the wedding party was seated, Atticus joined me at my assigned table of strangers. Thankfully, some of the tension had lifted, and we both enjoyed the food that had been served. We just ate it a bit late, thanks to me.
People were already dancing as we had our meal, and just as Atticus and I finished, the DJ played a slow song.
Atticus stood and held out his hand. “May I have this dance?”
Without overthinking it, I got up and let him lead me to the dance floor.
Atticus pulled me close as we began to sway to the music. As always, being in his arms felt all-consuming. With each second, the space between us narrowed until I fully surrendered and let myself relax into him. The heat of his body penetrated mine. His hands lowered to the small of my back as he brought us even closer, his breath caressing the back of my neck as he rested his head on my shoulder. A rush of warmth moved through my entire body.
After a few minutes, my heart stopped racing. Time slowed down, and even though I was vulnerable in his arms, being in them was like home to me. As we moved with the music, I wished we could stay in this safe place forever—locked here with no decisions to be made, nothing to forgive, just holding each other and dancing for all eternity.
When the song ended, the DJ transitioned to something faster, and Atticus led me to the edge of the dance floor. As we faced each other, his eyes fell to my neck. He reached out to touch the infinity charm he’d given me. I hadn’t taken it off since the day we’d left each other in New Jersey, not even to shower.
“You’re still wearing it…”
“Yeah, ever since you gave it to me.”
He let go of it. “It’s my wedding ring.”
“What?” My eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“I gave the jeweler my ring and asked if they could melt the gold and make it into that pendant.”
Wow. As we headed back to the table together, I was speechless.