Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
They were halfway down the hall when they both heard it.
Penelope was surprised by the fact that she did, as her mind was thoroughly fixed on where she was going and what she was doing. It was her heart that thundered in her chest, blood that pumped through her ears, and the fact that she was able to hear anything beyond that was startling.
But there could be no mistaking it. The sounds of someone crying.
“What…” Penelope slowly came to a stop, pulling Dorian with her. “What is that?”
Dorian looked about, brow furrowed as he listened and heard it too. A moment as the sobbing grew, and then his eyes widened with fear. “Barbara!” Without another word he released Penelope’s hand and fled down the hallway.
Penelope was quick to follow, able to hear it clearer now, realizing that Dorian was correct and that the crying she could hear was coming from Barbara’s room.
“Barbara!” Dorian rushed to where his younger sister lay face down on her bed. Head buried in her pillows, the sounds that escaped her lips were heartbreaking. “What happened? What is wrong?”
Penelope hesitated by the doorway, not certain if she should go to the young woman’s side. This felt like a family matter, but then again, was she not also family? And to see Barbara in such pain, not knowing the cause, it was all Penelope could do to stay where she was.
“I’m… I’m… fine…” Barbara sobbed, her face still buried.
“Who did this?” Dorian sat beside her, hands on her shoulders, looking caught between pulling her into an embrace and tearing from the room to find whoever had hurt his sister. “Tell me.”
Barbara shook her head. “It… it doesn’t… leave me alone!”
“Barbara, please,” Dorian pleaded. “Tell me what has happened. I can’t help you if –”
“I don’t want your help!”
Dorian winced and leaned back, unsure what to do, while still not willing to let it go. Then he looked at Penelope, his expression pleading because he seemed to understand that she might be able to help where he could not.
It was a small moment. Their eyes meeting, recognition that despite what might have happened between the two of them, they had come so far and she was now a part of their life. For better or worse…
“Barbara…” Penelope walked deeper into the room, approaching the bed and then sitting by the head. She reached out and stroked Barbara’s hair, keeping her voice gentle. “Clearly something is wrong, and all we want to do is help.”
“You can’t help,” she sobbed, still refusing to lift her face from the pillows. “You can’t!”
“Maybe so,” Penelope cooed softly. “But sometimes it helps just to talk of it. Please, Barbara, tell us what is wrong. We hate seeing you like this.”
“Tell us,” Dorian pressed, squeezing his sister’s shoulders. “What happened? Who did this to you?”
It was a few more seconds of strangled sobbing before Barbara finally nodded her head.
And a few more before she lifted that head from the pillows to reveal a face drenched in tears and swollen from all the crying she had been doing.
Beyond that, and what broke Penelope’s heart the most, was the look in her eyes. She wasn’t sad, but terrified.
“I… I did not think… I did not want to say anything,” Barbara stammered as she shifted closer to Dorian who wrapped his arm around her. “I never meant to get anyone in trouble.”
“No one is in trouble,” Penelope said. “Just tell us what happened.”
“It was Lord Kenbrook,” Barbara said, and Dorian stiffened when he heard the name. “He approached me after supper and… and…” She sniffed and wiped her nose. “He wanted to know why I wasn’t…. why I had no interest in Nicholas.”
“And then what happened?” Dorian growled through a clenched jaw. “What did he do?”
Barbara shook her head. “He didn’t do anything. He just… he just said that… that…” She sniffed again. “That it would be in my best interests if I did as I ought to.” Her chin started to wobble again and she looked away as if from shame.
Penelope shared a look with Dorian.
“Is that all?” Dorian asked. “He didn’t threaten you or… or touch you or… he –”
“He didn’t have to!” Barbara cried over him. “Not…” Her chin started to wobble further and more tears streamed down her face. “Not after last time.”
“Last time?” Dorian asked, frown deepening. “Barbara…” Slowly, he peeled himself back so he could better look at her. “What do you mean by last time?”
She bowed her head. “I never wanted to tell you – I didn’t think… I thought if I said nothing it would…” More sniffing. “That I could just pretend it didn’t matter. But that’s why I never wanted anything to do with Nicholas…”
“Why?” Dorian’s gaze hardened. “What do you mean?”
Barbara looked at her brother. “It was Lord Kenbrook, Dorian. He was the one who…” Her chin started wobbling.
“When you were away, after mother died, he was… he tried to… he attempted to court me. And when I said no he… he… he…” She shoved her head into Dorian’s chest, unable to finish what she was trying to say.
Not that she needed to, as her meaning was clear enough.
Again, Penelope looked to Dorian, and she was unsurprised to see the rage building behind his eyes.
All this time, he had wondered what was the cause for his sister’s isolation, why she had no desire to join the ton and seemed terrified by the very idea of being social.
And now, with the answer given, Dorian’s fury seemed perfectly justified.
“Lord Kenbrook…” Penelope gasped. “He…”
“He didn’t do anything,” Barabra hurried. “Not like that. But he threatened me and promised to ruin me if I ever… if I told anyone… I was so scared.”
Dorian was shaking. Eyes aflame. Jaw clenched. Face turning a dark shade of red. “Lord Kenbrook is the reason. He… all this time… and now…” He was struggling to put two words together. “And now he thinks to… his son…”
Penelope reached for Dorian’s hand. “Dorian, now is not the time for –”
“I’ll kill him!” Dorian was on his feet.
“No!” Barbara cried after him. “Dorian, please!”
Halfway toward the door, he turned back and snarled. “What do you mean no? He can’t get away with this – he will not get away with this.”
“Please…” Barbara appeared terrified.
Penelope looked between Dorian and his sister, coming to a quick decision. “You’ll only make things worse,” she said as she stood and swept to Dorian. There, she rested a hand on one shoulder and took his arm with the other. “And this entire weekend will be marred –”
“And I care?!”
“It is all anyone will talk about,” Penelope pressed on him. “You might have your revenge but the effect will be felt by Barbara. You know how this town is, how its people are. Even if they understand what happened, some will still lay the fault of it at her feet.”
He was still shaking, seething through his teeth. “I can’t… he cannot get away with this.”
“Leave it for tonight,” Barbara implored him. “Have him removed from the estate tomorrow – quickly and silently. Have the staff do it. There is no need to make a scene from which you can’t come back.”
“Please, Dorian,” Barbara added. “Don’t…”
Thankfully, Dorian understood the logic of Penelope’s plea. He still looked as if he might explode from anger, but he forced some sense of calmness. “He will not get away with this. I promise you that, Barbara.”
She smiled through the tears. “I know he won’t, Brother.”
Dorian nodded his head as he came to a decision.
“I will speak to the staff now, have the arrangements made.” He pulled from Penelope’s grip and swept toward the door.
It was only once it was opened that he seemed to realize what he was doing, wincing as he turned back on his sister.
“Barbara, I… I will be return as quickly as I –”
“It is fine,” she assured him, sniffing back the tears. “I will be fine. But Penelope…” She looked hopefully at Penelope. “Might you stay with me for a while?”
“Of course I will,” Penelope said. “Anything you need.”
Dorian left quickly after that, at which point little was said between Penelope and Barabra. It felt like that was for the best, as Barbara lay her head back on the bed, as Penelope snuggled in beside her and stroked her hair, and as Barbara slowly drifted off to sleep.
Where the moment was startling and revealing in one, it further confirmed for Penelope that she was doing the right thing.
How hard Barbara’s life had been so far, how unfair, and the last thing she would want to do was make it worse.
The young woman needed all the help she could get if she had even a tiny chance at being happy, and Penelope was glad to help in any way that she could.
Even if it means giving up my own chance at happiness.
It wasn’t until Penelope heard Barbara snoring that she felt comfortable leaving her alone. Slipping quietly from the room and closing the door behind her, she thought to return back to her own room and go to bed. It had been a long day and a longer evening and she needed sleep.
However, the time for that was not quite upon her. There was still one thing she had to do… and that was to say goodbye.
It was a minute later when she found herself outside of Dorian’s bedroom. The door was cracked open, and she could see movement coming from the other side.
A soft knock and she gently pushed open the door. “Dorian…”
He was pacing the room, fury still burning through him. But when he heard her voice and saw her step through the door he came to an abrupt halt. “Penelope, I –” He grimaced. “I meant to come and find you. And to check on Barbara. Only…”
“It has been a long day for all of us,” she agreed.
“How is she?”
“She is asleep,” Penelope assured him. “Nothing more to be done until tomorrow. And Lord Kenbrook?”
His lips curled into a snarl. “I have informed the staff to escort him from the property as soon as the sun rises. To do so quietly, and without incident or explanation.” He laughed bitterly. “Let us see him puzzle out exactly why he is being asked to leave.”
“It is the right move,” Penelope agreed. “For Barbara’s sake, if nothing else.”
Dorian winced and shook his head, body still shaking, it would be a while before he found any sense of calm or peace. He cares so deeply for his sister, and I know he would do anything for her. We both would…
“Dorian…” Penelope stood purposefully back from him, nearer the door, needing the distance so she could get through this. “We need to –”
“Oh, yes,” Dorian cut her off. “Right, I forgot…” He bit into his lower lip, the sense that he was surprised by what he assumed she was here for, and not nearly so interested as he had been. “But I made you a promise and…” He took a step toward her.
“Wait.” She held out a hand to stop him. “There is something I need to say. That you need to hear.”
He came to a halt, almost appearing relieved.
It was at that exact moment when Penelope decided that she was doing the right thing.
It was so obvious that Dorian’s heart wasn’t in it any longer.
That all this could ever be to him was a business transaction.
And where once that was exactly what Barbara had wanted, that time had long since passed her by.
She cared deeply for Dorian, too much to be used like this once and then leave here without looking back. Too much to carry and then raise his child, a constant reminder of what she might have had and what she had left behind.
A part of her wanted this final night – was desperate for it. Something to remember Dorian by because it was all she would have. But the other part knew how dangerous that was, and that was the part she listened to.
“I am going to leave tomorrow,” she said. “First thing in the morning.”
“Yes, I…” His expression hardened. “You told me that already.”
“And because I am, I have decided that this… us… whatever it is we are meant to do, is perhaps not the best of ideas. I know we had a deal, and I appreciate so much that you meant to keep it. But in this instance, I think it is better if we…” She found her chin wobbling. “If we simply walk away.”
“What…” Dorian gave his head a shake. “But the child? You don’t –”
“I don’t,” she cut him off. “Not anymore.”
He looked at her across the room. A hard gaze.
Confusion present behind his eyes… and that same sadness she had come to know him for.
Likely, he knew why she was doing this, just as he knew it was the right thing.
But like her, she wondered if he had wanted this final night together as a means to remember what might have been.
“If that is how you feel,” he said finally, his voice low.
“It is,” she said. Then, a soft smile. “And thank you, for everything.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
She laughed. “You did. More than you can possibly know.”
A beat then passed between them and Penelope felt that familiar pull.
The urge to go to him and kiss him a final time.
A kiss that would say everything words could not, a kiss that would give her something to remember on those cold lonely nights that were sure to become a feature of her life from here on out.
And he wanted it too. His eyes flicked to her lips. Hunger and desire ever present behind them. But like her, he stayed back, self-control working at an all-time high.
That was the last Penelope saw of Dorian.
She smiled a final time and slipped back through the door. From there, she went to her room where she tried and failed to sleep. When the sun rose, she rose with it, sneaking through the manor as it slowly roused, quick to have her carriage packed and directed back to her home.
My home… once, that was the only home I knew and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Now, it feels like… I cannot say. Not so much a home as a prison. One that I am doomed to be kept in for the rest of my days.
The carriage pulled from the estate and started down the drive and as it did she turned and looked out the window as Dorian’s home, the life she had almost had, sunk into the horizon and was gone.