Chapter 27
The rain arrived, just as Agnes had predicted it would.
Gabriel frowned up at the heavy sky as his carriage drew close to her home.
The clouds hadn’t broken yet, but he was sure they would, and he was not eager to see the ensuing weather.
A part of him wanted to change the plan for this evening, to just stay at home in front of the fire.
But then, of course, there would be no time spent with Agnes.
There would be no dances, no moments when she was in his arms, no soft glow of pleasure at the knowledge that the others in the room were watching them.
When had he become so enamored with those moments? Why did he find it so difficult to let go of the idea of an evening spent with her? It shouldn’t have mattered this much. It was going to have to come to an end soon enough anyway.
It was something about that proposal. He cursed himself for handling it the way he had—he should have known better.
Because now the problem wasn’t that she might have said yes—of course, she was never going to agree to a marriage.
No, the problem was that he had to deal with the fact that a part of him had actually wanted her to agree. He had wanted a yes.
That’s madness. Of course, I don’t want that.
He shook off the thought and hurried up to the front door.
Agnes was standing there already, waiting outside for him, dressed and ready for the ball in a very becoming blue gown that brought out the color of her eyes and the soft lights in her hair.
For a moment, he allowed himself to simply stop and admire her.
I don’t wish to marry. Certainly not. But if I were ever to marry, I think she would be someone I’d consider…
Then he looked at her more closely.
Her beauty was marred by unusual flaws. Her skin was more pale than it normally appeared, her cheeks bright red in a way that suggested illness. She had dark circles under her eyes. He frowned, scrutinizing her. “Agnes, are you unwell?”
“I’m fine,” she said, but her voice was low and rough.
“You don’t look like yourself,” he said.
“We have a ball to go to,” she said, starting around him toward his carriage. “Unless you find my appearance displeasing in some way, we should make our way there before it gets too late.”
“Will you stop?” He caught her arm. “Listen to me. Something’s the matter. You’re not well, and that makes me think we should stay at home.”
Her eyes were bright. “I had a feeling you would want to stay at home,” she said, her voice tight. “I had a feeling you were going to say that. And you proved me right.”
“What are you talking about?” He frowned. “I wasn’t going to say that until I saw you looking like you were about to collapse.”
“I’m not about to collapse. Don’t be dramatic. Let’s just go.” She tried to free her arm from his grip.
But he held on. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he said firmly. “I don’t know how you found out it was going to rain, but you’re right. The sky’s going to split open at any moment.”
As if responding to his words, thunder boomed and the first drops began to fall.
She blinked the rain out of her eyes. “You don’t want to go to the ball,” she said. “Why not? Is it that you’re ready for the arrangement to come to an end?”
“Our arrangement?”
“I know people aren’t pursuing you the way they once did,” she said. “You don’t need this sham of a courtship anymore. I don’t know why you’re keeping it going, but you certainly don’t need to do so for my sake.”
“And what about your list?” he asked her. “I know we can’t have finished it. We’ve only completed three items. How many are there in total?”
“We don’t have to finish the list,” she said. “Let go of my arm.”
He let go of it. “But this is what we said we were going to do,” he told her.
In the distance, lightning flashed.
“So that’s the reason?” she asked. “That’s why you’re still around, even though you don’t need a show of a courtship anymore? You’re trying to finish the list?”
“I…”
“If that’s what you want, let’s do it,” she said, squaring her shoulders. “The next item I had written down was to dance with someone in the rain. There’s never going to be a better opportunity for it than right now.”
He stared at her. The situation reshaped itself before his eyes.
“Is that why you wrote me the note saying that you thought it was going to rain?” he asked. And now, in spite of himself, a small smile was quirking the corners of his lips. “You were thinking about this.”
“I can’t predict the weather,” she said, which wasn’t an answer. “I didn’t know it was going to rain. I was guessing.”
“And you guessed right.” He took her hand, gently this time. “You thought I was going to cancel our outing because you were worried you’d miss the opportunity to check off a list item—is that right?”
“No.” It was little more than a stammer, but he was already pulling her into the steps of a dance. “I didn’t—it never occurred to me that we would be doing this. I didn’t think the rain would really come.”
“But I think you hoped it would,” he murmured, turning them slowly.
Her eyes dropped, raindrops clinging to her long lashes.
She was beautiful in the rain, and Gabriel couldn’t help it—his heart beat faster.
He picked up the pace of the steps a little bit, pulling them out from the house and into the grass.
She came willingly, her gaze fixed on his, falling into the absurdity of the moment.
“You should have said something. You should really start telling me in advance what these list items are going to be so that we can plan more effectively. I wouldn’t have insisted that we go to the ball. We could have stayed here and done this instead.”
“But why?” she whispered, her gaze searching his. “You want to make an appearance. That’s what you asked me for in return for helping me with this list. It does you no good if we stay here. I don’t understand why you keep saying things like that.”
“Do I keep saying things like that?” He pivoted slowly, bringing her along with him. “When?”
“Always,” she said. “Every time I so much as mention the fact that we need to be more intentional about what we’re doing, you say we can throw caution to the wind. You want to make an impression on society, and so we should be out doing that. But instead, you want to waste time here.”
“Agnes,” Gabriel said, “don’t you want to finish your list?” He didn’t understand her objections. “I thought you said that was what was most important to you. You said that you wanted to complete every item on the list. And now you ask me why I bother?”
She bit her lip. “I understand,” she said. “You want to finish the list as quickly as possible, because then we can be done—”
She didn’t finish her sentence. A sneeze cut her off.
He frowned. “You are ill,” he said. “You need to go back inside at once. This was foolish.”
“I’m not ill,” she protested.
“Don’t even try that,” he said. “I could see it in your face when I arrived, and I can see it now.”
She sneezed again, which only served to reinforce his point.
“We’re not going to stand out here arguing about it,” he said firmly.
“You’ve had your dance in the rain, so we can check that off the list and move on to whatever the last item is.
But not right now. Right now what matters is getting you in front of a warm fire so that you can dry off.
I should never have kept you out here this long. ”
“You didn’t keep me anywhere,” she said.
“Yes, I know. No one ever tells you what to do, do they?” He shook his head. “And I suppose you’re not going to listen when I tell you to go into the house, either.”
“If you didn’t want to go to the ball, you could have just said that from the beginning.”
For some reason, that was the final straw.
“For heaven’s sake,” he snapped, and scooped her up in his arms.
She gasped. “What are you doing?”
“If you won’t go inside on your own, I’ll take you there myself,” he said firmly, and before she could put up a fuss, he was striding through the front door and into the foyer, both of them dripping on the floor.
A maid came hurrying over. “Is something the matter?” she asked, wringing her hands.
“Lady Agnes has caught a chill,” Gabriel said.
“I haven’t caught a chill! Put me down.”
Gabriel ignored her. “We’ll need a fire in the sitting room, please, and some warm blankets.” He looked at Agnes appraisingly. “I don’t suppose there’s anything to be gained by asking you to go to your room to change into something dry?”
“I’m only a little damp!”
“I didn’t think so.” To the maid, he asked, “Will you have some hot tea sent in for her as well? Thank you very much.”
He walked off toward the sitting room, Agnes protesting in his arms, and settled her in a chair beside the fireplace.
Of course, she stood up at once. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Do this for me,” he said. “I don’t know why you think I’m so out of line here, but do this one thing for me.
I’m asking you. Just sit here and dry off for a while.
Drink some tea. Talk to me, since we aren’t going to be going to the ball.
Or is an evening in my company really such a dreadful thing? ”
She closed her eyes for a moment. “I wish I understood what you wanted from me.”
“I don’t know why you don’t. My desires have never changed.”
“Well, that much I can believe,” she said.
He didn’t know what she meant by that. He didn’t know how to ask, either.
It was a strange thing to have said, and he wanted to follow up, but now the maids were coming in with the tea and arranging it in front of them.
Gabriel sat down and accepted his cup, sipping slowly, watching as blankets were wrapped around Agnes.
She wouldn’t have accepted that sort of thing from him, but she allowed the maids to see to their duties without argument. When she was wrapped in warmth with a cup in her hands, she regarded him quietly.
“That’s four list items down,” she said.
“One more to go,” Gabriel agreed, and wondered what it was going to be.