Chapter 15
“Ireally do not understand the question, Your Grace,” Helga said in her typical affable style; a warm smile that was just impossible to be angry with.
Marcus sighed, the frustration he felt having nothing to do with Helga and how little help she was.
Rather, the frustration, even the anger, was on account of his own failings.
“It is a perfectly simple question, Helga. And I thought that having spent as much time with her as you have, you would be able to answer.”
“I wish that I could,” Helga said with complete sincerity.
She stood on the opposite side of his desk, her hands folded before her, looking the same as she always did.
“But mostly, when we are together, we speak of James. She is eager to learn, I will give her that. And she does not shy away from asking questions. Most will be too stubborn to do so, not wanting to see a fool. But Her Grace always asks what she does not know.”
Marcus had known Helga his entire life. In fact, when he was just a child, she’d had a huge hand in raising him. His parents were never going to, and his sister was too close to his own age to help, so the task fell on Helga.
For this reason, Marcus felt a close affinity with the elderly nanny, a woman who he might trust with his life, did it come to such a thing.
Right now, it was not his life that concerned him. Rather, what he needed of Helga was an answer to what should have been a simple question… although, if it was that simple, then why can I not answer it myself?
“You must have spoken about something other than child rearing,” Marcus asked calmly. “Did she at any point tell you what her interests were? What she liked to do in her spare time? Anything at all!”
Helga considered. “She may have…”
“Well?”
“Careful now,” she spoke to Marcus in a way that only a mother might be able to get away with. “My brain is not what it used to be. Give me a moment to think.”
He grimaced. “Sorry, Helga. Think away.”
It was yesterday when Honoria visited Marcus and had given him a severe talking to. One of her better ones, in fact.
Marcus had done his best to push it from his mind since then.
He did not want to think about Lucy, and he certainly did not want to think about how bored and alone she must have felt while married to him.
Until Honoria spoke to him, Marcus was happy to pretend that all was well, blissfully ignorant because that was easy.
He knew now how wrong he had been. And not just where Lucy was concerned, but his own failings, and that which he wanted from this marriage.
He was not ready to concede that this marriage might be more than what it was.
And he was certainly not ready to admit that he wanted it to be such.
But he knew too that this marriage was still in its infancy, and that to hope things continued to work the way they were from now until forever, was destined for failure.
This marriage might be a business contract, but is a part of business not keeping your partners satisfied and content? If they grow restless, that is a recipe for disaster than any good business would do well to avoid.
So it was that he had a brainwave… or he meant to have one. That was where Helga came into it.
“Come to think of it,” Helga began carefully. “Her Grace has mentioned horse riding quite a few times.”
“Horse riding? She enjoys horse riding?”
“She might do,” Helga said. “From memory, she said something to the effect of how freeing it was. Yes, that’s right…” She started to nod her head. “Nowhere else, she said, could one be truly free as they were on horseback.”
“Horse riding…” Marcus nodded along, an idea slowly forming in his mind’s eye. “Yes, that makes perfect sense.”
The fact that he had to ask for help was a perfect example of his own failings, how little he knew of his wife, and how distant this marriage was. But that he was willing to try and fix that failing… surely, that counts for something?
So it was that one hour later, not long after midday, Marcus asked Lucy to see him outside. He waited for her on the front driveway, and by the time that she arrived he was shaking with excited energy.
For all his talk of not caring about how Lucy, what she wanted, or even her feelings in general, it was all too clear that this was no longer the case.
“Lucy.” He greeted her with a slight smile. “Thank you for coming.”
“Coming to where?” She looked at him curiously, no doubt noting how strangely he was behaving. “It is just the front driveway.”
“On first appearances, perhaps. But…” His smile grew. “I have a surprise for you. Let us call it a gift.”
Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Is that so?”
“You sound surprised.”
“Just cautious. What is the reason for this gift?”
“Does there need to be a reason?” he asked. “Other than a desire to see my wife happy.”
“Now I know there must be a reason.”
He laughed, and it was an alien sound. “I just wanted to do something nice for you and after much consideration, I think… I hope that I came up with the perfect means to do that.”
Still, she watched him as if unsure. That look in her eyes, one would think that he was a stranger pretending to be her husband… with the way he was behaving, he practically was.
“All right then,” she spoke carefully. “Let us see this so-called gift.”
Marcus turned and indicated at the stable hand who stood waiting by the side of the house. Although they were in a townhouse, it was still large enough to have its own stable, and the pathway that wound the side of the home led to where this stable was located.
The stable hand walked forward, leading behind him a pristine white mare with a golden mane. The sun shone bright overhead, it caught the white of the horse’s hair, and it made the magnificent creature glow as if God Himself was blessing this gift.
Lucy’s mouth fell open.
“Do you like it?” Marcus asked eagerly, his heart skipping a beat when he saw the look on her face.
“I do not even… my gift is a horse?” She looked at him.
“The horse’s name is Beauty and she belongs to me,” he explained. “The gift, however, is that she is now yours to do with as you want, when you want it. I know that you like horse riding and –”
“How do you know that?” she cut him off.
He smirked. “I have my ways…”
She narrowed her eyes. “What is this? Really. What do you want?”
It spoke much about the state of this marriage that Lucy just assumed Marcus wanted something from her. That he could not give her a gift for the sake of it, that there must be some underhand reason.
But that would not be the case for much longer, and the thought of that brought Marcus much joy.
“I promised you freedom,” he explained as he walked forward and took Beauty’s reins.
“And it occurred to me today that I haven’t fulfilled my side of the bargain.
You have been so busy with James that you deserve an afternoon to yourself, and what better way than on horseback?
Unless…” He raised an eyebrow at her. “I can send her back? If you would rather stay here –”
“No!” she hurried, even rushing forward and taking the reins. “That won’t be necessary.”
“You like it?” he asked hopefully.
She studied the horse, her eyes glimmering. Then she fixed herself on Marcus, that same glimmer in her eyes, with a smile to match. He knew then that he had done the right thing. And oh, how good it felt.
“I love it,” she said. “Will you be joining me?”
“Maybe next time…” He stepped back. “Today is for you. If you follow this road north, it will take you to the city’s outskirts, from where you will find miles of fields and farmland to explore. More than enough for you to get lost it.”
“Is that a hint?” she joked. “Hoping I might get lost and never come back.”
“Not even a little bit.”
She side-eyed him, still smiling, still trying to figure him out. Marcus gave nothing away, save for how thrilled he was that his gambit had paid off.
Soon, she was atop the horse. A moment later she was steering it down the road.
Marcus stayed to watch her leave, utterly satisfied and content with what he had achieved here today.
It was a small gesture, but wasn’t that exactly what this marriage required?
Wasn’t that the key to happiness, as Lucy had claimed?
Stranger still, once she was gone, Marcus felt something else.
He walked back inside, looked about the large foyer, and his stomach sank with a sense of loneliness. He was used to being alone, he wanted to be alone, yet now that Lucy was out of the house, he felt it like never before.
How very strange….