Chapter 25
Lucy was done.
She had tried, and no one could claim differently.
While this marriage might have started off on shaky ground, once Lucy had realized her own feelings and what she wanted, she had done everything in her power to try and make this marriage work.
She had been patient. She had been forgiving. She had been hopeful…
Marcus was given more chances than anyone deserves. And even though I know in my heart what he really wants, I see no point in fighting for it anymore. To do so will only bring more pain, more misery, and I am quite done being made to look like a fool.
Not to mention… I am done being hurt.
As for what her life might look like now?
To that, Lucy had no answer. She would stay married to Marcus, of course.
She would continue to raise James as if he was her own.
In time, she hoped that she and Marcus might find some middle ground to tread, a way of being in the same room together so that they did not have to avoid the other for the rest of their days.
It would not be a happy marriage. It would not be love filled. It might, at best, be companionable, and that would have to do.
So it was that she found herself sitting in the back garden the day after her confrontation with Marcus. The sun shone brightly overhead. Birds sang from the trees. The weather was warm without being aggressive. And James crawled about on the grass, giggling to himself as he always did.
She smiled as she watched him, taking joy from little moments like this one. Yes, a large part of her wished that Marcus was here so that he could see with his own eyes how happy and at peace James was… maybe one day he will do, and maybe one day he and James will even form a bond of their own.
For now, that she had James would have to be enough.
Marcus had avoided her since yesterday, just as she avoided him. And she would continue to do so, not wanting to be the one who tried to bridge that gap… for the hundredth time, it felt like. No more.
Alone in her thoughts, Lucy did not notice the valet hurrying through the garden until he was almost right on top of her. She saw him coming and frowned, just as she waved him over.
“Your Grace!” He stopped short and bowed deeply. “I am so sorry to disturb you, but you have a visitor.”
“I do?” Lucy blinked in surprise. “Who?”
“It is Lady Amelia Whitcombe, Your Grace.”
Lucy’s stomach dropped. “And my stepmother, no doubt.” Wonderful, this is just what I needed.
“No, Your Grace,” the valet said. “She has come alone, and she has asked that you see her, although she also made sure to tell me that she will understand if you do not wish such a thing.”
“Truly?” Lucy blinked. “It might sound like a strange question but how did she appear?”
“Your Grace?”
“Did she appear angry? Upset?”
“Oh.” He blinked a few times. “Sad, Your Grace, if I might speak frankly. She looked nervous, as if she did not want to be here at all.”
Lucy considered these words.
She and Amelia had never been close, but they had never been true enemies. In fact, it was always Lucy’s stepmother that was the cause of their fighting, and Lucy often wondered how their relationship might be if they were not so often pitted against each other.
A shame that Amelia was so thoroughly under her mother’s influence that such a circumstance was as good as wondering how life might be if one had wings so they could fly.
But she is here alone, something my stepmother would never allow. Is this a trick? Or… perhaps she has come alone for good reason. What if… Lucy’s heart fluttered with hope. What if she has finally seen her mother for what she is?
“I will see her in the morning room,” Lucy said as she came to a decision. “Please, have her wait for me. When she asks, tell her I am putting James to bed and will be with her as soon as I can.”
“Your Grace.” The valet bowed deeply and hurried away.
Were times slightly different, Lucy might not have been so eager to see her stepsister.
But with all that had happened of late, she felt alone in this world, without allies, without a path forward to walk.
So, if there was even a chance that she and Amelia might put their past behind them, it was a risk worth taking.
As such, Lucy hurried back inside with James. She took some minutes putting him to bed, as it was a touch earlier than his usual nap time. But he fell asleep eventually, at which point she made her way downstairs to the morning room.
And all the while, she tried to puzzle out what her earth her stepsister might want…
“Lucy!” Amelia stood the second when Lucy entered the morning room. Her eyes were wide, her movements rushed, and anyone with two eyes could see how nervous she was. “Oh! I mean, Your Grace. I am sorry, I should have –”
“Not at all…” Lucy hovered by the doorway, unsure what to make of the way her sister was behaving. And that she called me Your Grace… “We are sisters, Amelia. Such silly expectations are beneath us, no?”
Amelia looked relieved. “I am so glad to hear you say that.”
Coming to a decision, Lucy crossed the room where she took her sister’s hands in greeting. She was sure to wear a warm smile, wanting to appear happy and pleased for this random visit.
What had happened just the other day was unfortunate, but if they could put it behind them, all the better. Plus, if there was a chance that Lucy might change Amelia’s mind concerning her future husband, that would be a victory worth fighting for.
“I must admit, I was surprised to hear you had come to see me,” Lucy said once she released Amelia’s hands. “And without your mother…” A raised eyebrow.
Amelia grimaced and looked down as she took her seat. “She does not know that I am here.”
“Oh?”
“Nor would she be happy to learn of it,” Amelia added with just the hint of a smile, as if she was pleased by this notion. “She has not been very happy with anything, of late.”
“You don’t say…”
Amelia looked different, somehow. It had been just three days since they last spoke, but she appeared more confident and sure of herself. She sat taller. Her cheeks glowed. She looked more like a woman, to Lucy’s eyes, one finally out of her mother’s shadow.
Is she finally freeing herself from her mother’s indomitable control? Is she finally seeing the light, as I have wished that she would for so many years?
“Tea?” Amelia offered suddenly.
Beside where Amelia sat was a saucer of tea, likely offered to her when she was brought into the room to wait. Without waiting for Lucy to say yes, Amelia picked up the saucer and hurriedly poured a cup for Lucy, her hand trembling the entire time.
Lucy did not want tea, truth be told, but she saw this simple gesture for what it was. It was a peace offering, an attempt by Amelia to show that she was here in good faith.
“I would love some tea,” Lucy said with a warm smile as she took the cup. “Thank you.”
“It is good,” Amelia said, eyeing the cup. “Try it.”
Lucy chuckled, finding the whole thing rather adorable. Rarely did the two sisters spend any time alone together, and so awkward was Amelia that she was behaving strangely. Again, all done with an eye toward forgiveness… or so Lucy needed to believe.
She had a sip of tea. “You are right.” She then had another and placed the cup down. “Thank you.”
Amelia looked visibly relaxed, those two sips seeming to confirm that Lucy was willing to listen to whatever it was she had to say. Which, Lucy was, so very much.
“So,” Lucy began. “You are here alone…”
“Right.” Amelia gave her head a quick shake and sat up straight. Her hands were folded on her lap, but she continued to fidget. “My mother cannot know I am here, and if she ever found out…”
“I won’t be telling her, if that is what you are worried about.”
Amelia laughed awkwardly. “Of course you will not, and I was not accusing you – I am sorry,” she grimaced. “I am just so nervous.”
“You have no reason to be, Amelia. Why don’t you start by telling me why you are here.”
“I have been doing much thinking these last two days… about when Mother and I were here, and how I spoke to you. Truthfully, I have been thinking about how I have always treated you…” She bowed her head with shame.
“You and I, we should be so much closer than we are. And try as I might, I cannot think why we are not.”
Lucy resisted the urge to point out the obvious reason. “There is no reason we still cannot be.”
“Truly?”
“I have always wanted to be close with you, Amelia. That you are here now, it means the world.”
“Thank you,” Amelia said with a grateful smile. “I know you have never meant me harm, Lucy. Deep down, I have always known that. So, when I thought about what you said, concerning Lord Wembley, I wondered if maybe you were speaking more of the truth than I was willing to believe.”
“I –” Lucy went to speak, but her stomach suddenly turned. She took a deep breath, her hand moving to her belly. “Sorry… my stomach.”
“Is something wrong?”
“No, no,” she laughed, as the strange sensation left her.
“It must have been something I ate earlier.” She shook her head to dismiss it.
“Now, where were –” Again, her stomach turned, and again she had to move her hand to her belly as if to tame it.
“That is…” It continued to turn now, as if something had come alive inside of her.
“Lucy…”
“I…” Lucy’s body suddenly turned warm… too warm. Sweat started to bead on her forehead and the light from the window shone so brightly it burned her eyes. “I do not know… something is…”
“What is happening?” Amelia took her hand. “Are you feeling unwell?”
Lucy’s head turned… or was that the room? Her stomach played havoc with her, sweat poured from her skin, and it was all she could do to stay seated because the energy in her body fled from her so that she started to feel terribly sleepy.
“I… my head…” Her eyes started to close. “I need to sit down.”
“You are sitting down.”
“I am… I am fine…” Her body slumped. “I just need… just need…” Her eyelids closed, the final vestiges of energy left her body, and before Lucy could do or say anything else, she fell from her chair.
“Lucy!” Amelia cried. “Lucy! Help, somebody, help!”
Lucy barely heard her stepsister screaming. On the ground now, eyes closed, darkness took her, and it was the type of darkness from which there was no escape…