Chapter 12 #2
For a few seconds, there was no response to his question, but then Henry appeared by his side, propping an arm against the windowsill as he peered closely to the pane and observed Catriona.
Joseph noticed when Henry looked at him, then at Catriona, then back at him, but his attention remained solely on his wife and her odd behavior.
“It looks tae me like she’s pacin’ back and forth,” Henry said at last.
“But why?” Joseph stopped, frowning at her. Catriona was completely unaware of their observation. She moved to one end of the small path, paused, did a dramatic turn, and began marching to the other end. “She’s been at it for nearly ten minutes now. Surely there must be a reason.”
“Ah, so ye havenae been listenin’ tae a word I’ve been sayin’ for the past ten minutes, have ye?” Henry sighed. “Perhaps we should just reconvene this meetin’ another time. Ye’re clearly quite busy.”
The sarcasm in Henry’s voice was apparent, but for once, Joseph couldn’t find it within himself to care.
It had been days since his late-night conversation with Catriona in the library.
Two days and thirteen hours to be exact though he wasn’t quite sure why he was counting.
And he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her until now.
It wasn’t intentional of course. He was a busy man. He didn’t have the time to coddle his wife when she had a fleet of servants at her beck and call ready to assist her with whatever she needed. She would be fine, especially once she had settled in.
At least, that was what he’d been telling himself. His actions told a completely different story.
Catriona persisted in the back of his mind at all times.
He found himself distracted, his mind wandering to places it shouldn’t go.
He wondered where she was, what she was doing, if whatever plaguing her mind still ailed her.
Too many times in the past two days he’d found himself on the verge of going to find her himself.
Immersing himself in his work didn’t seem to be working because all he could think about was her.
God, what was happening?
Joseph watched as Catriona spun on the balls of her feet and continued her trek back to the other side of the path, tapping an impatient finger on his arm.
He didn’t like this one bit. Marrying Catriona was meant to be nothing but a formality, one that was expected of him in his role.
He needed a wife and a female figure for Dorothea, not a constant distraction.
And that was exactly what Catriona had become these past few days.
“What do ye think?” came Henry again. Joseph didn’t miss the whisper of humor in his voice, but his attention was still too focused on Catriona. “Should we go down there and ask her what she’s doin’?”
Joseph turned away from the window, annoyed by how much effort it took. “There’s no need to do such a thing.”
“Ye’re clearly curious,” Henry drawled.
“Curious, yes. But not so much that I would let it disturb what I am doing.”
“Ah, only enough for ye nae tae hear a word I’ve said.” Henry chuckled as he followed Joseph to his desk. “I daenae ken who ye think ye’re foolin’. Anyone with eyes can see that ye—”
“That is all you wanted from me, yes?” Joseph cut in. He didn’t need to hear where Henry was going with this. “If so, then you may take your leave. I’m busy.”
“Ye, I’m sure ye are.” Henry chuckled, clearly unperturbed by Joseph’s sudden iciness. “I’ll take me leave then. Do tell me if ye ever get tae the bottom of the mystery.”
Joseph ignored him, picking up the ledger that he had been in the middle of balancing before he’d gotten distracted by Catriona’s odd behavior. But the moment Henry was gone, he dropped the ledger, glaring at the window as if his wife was standing right there to receive it.
Enough. What she is up to is of no concern to me.
He attempted to focus again, but minutes later, he came to the daunting realization that he would not get very far.
Muttering a curse, Joseph shot to his feet and marched back over to the window. Catriona had disappeared.
“Good,” he mumbled to himself. “She must have decided to do something productive with her time.”
Or perhaps she had gone to another section of the garden to continue her pacing?
What did she do with her time while here?
As the master of the house, he supposed it was not such a bad thing to wonder about that, was it?
Especially since he had promised to teach her how to act like a proper duchess.
A proper duchess certainly didn’t mill around aimlessly like that where others could see her.
What would the servants say? That he had chosen a madwoman to be his wife?
He swiveled on his heels, marching to the door.
He was only going to find her and talk to her, that’s all.
This sudden change in decision had nothing to do with his curiosity, nor with the fact that he had not seen her since that night in the library and had been constantly thinking about her ever since.
Joseph made his way to the garden, stopping at the path where he’d last seen her. One quick glance around told him that she was not nearby, but he continued all the same, delving down a stone path that would take him to the gazebo on the other end of the garden, just in case he found her there.
And he did. Catriona sat with her back ramrod straight, hands folded elegantly in her lap, ankles crossed and tucked behind her and her head hung at nearly a ninety-degree angle.
Panic sliced through him at the sight. Joseph inched forward, heart hammering all of a sudden. She didn’t move upon his approach, and he was almost afraid to say something, not knowing what to expect.
Suddenly her head shot up. Her eyes landed on him and went wide, a sharp squeal flying from her lips. “What in heaven’s name are you doing?” she gasped, hand flying to her chest.
Joseph released a slow breath, his panic and worry dissipating as his chest deflated. Why had he gotten so worked in the first place? Clearly, she was fine.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he began.
“Well, you did a terrible job of it.” Looking a bit flustered, she pulled her shoulders back, visibly putting herself back together. When she did, she fixed him with a bland look. “How may I help you?”
Joseph cleared his throat, moving to the other end of the gazebo. It was only a couple feet of distance, but he needed it. There was something about the way she looked at him, about the persistent flutter of his heart, that made him feel unlike himself.
“I saw you just now, pacing back and forth for minutes on end. I came to see what could have caused you to act in such an unusual manner.”
“You don’t know what is unusual for me,” she pointed out.
“Am I to believe that you do that often then? If so, say so now so that I may inform the servants that you are still within your right mind. Mostly.”
He meant it as a jest, hoping to lighten the mood. God knew why. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cared to do such a thing, but when Catriona’s lip twitched and her eyes lightened just a fraction, he was happy that he had.
“I assure you that you are too late to stop the servants from thinking that I am odd. I have done quite a number of unusual things that would make my pacing just now look like child’s play.”
He raised a brow. “Including hang your head as if you’d fainted while sitting up?”
Those beautiful lips of hers twitched again. How hadn’t he noticed how perfectly they were shaped with a gentle cupid’s bow and a full bottom lip that had fit perfectly against his—
“Yes, including that,” Catriona responded.
Joseph blinked, forcing his mind to focus.
“But I have done quite a few other things as well. I’ve walked the entire perimeter of the property.
I have entered every room though I have no reason to.
I even ventured down to the kitchen to take a long, good look at the fire in the oven.
I gave the cook quite a fright, I’m afraid. ”
“I can just imagine. And why are you doing such unusual things?”
Catriona lifted one shoulder. “I’m bored.”
Joseph blinked at her. He waited for her to continue, but she said nothing more. “You’re bored? That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
He blinked, eyebrows slowly lowering in confusion and a hint of amusement. She looked back at him with such seriousness that the urge to laugh grew overwhelming. “And… you did not think to read a book? To play the pianoforte or any other instrument you fancy? To paint? To embroider?”
“Yes, I thought of it all and grew bored while doing it all.” Her eyebrows scrunched in obvious consternation. “Nothing seemed to get rid of this lackluster feeling.”
“What of your dog? I’m surprised to see that she isn’t sitting by your feet.”
Catriona glanced to the side. “Nina?”
Nina came bounding out of the bushes, panting, with eyes that seemed far too wise for a dog fixed on Catriona.
“I think she’s bored too,” Catriona said with a sigh.
Joseph couldn’t help himself any longer.
He burst out into laughter, and when Catriona’s eyes went wide with surprise, it made him laugh harder.
Catriona looked at her dog in alarm, and damn if that didn’t make him double over, tears pricking his eyes.
He laughed until his stomach started to cramp, until his laughter became a wheeze.
It felt as if years and years of somberness had caught up to him and all the laughter he had neglected came upon him at once.
It was a while before he was calm, and even then, he still felt remnants of his humor and found himself on the verge of descending into another fit.
“That was… interesting,” Catriona murmured. “I don’t know if I should feel offended or flattered that I manage to get the stone-cold Duke of Irvin to laugh.”
“I’m surprised by it myself,” he admitted, forcing back his chuckles. “I just did not expect you to be so… so… ”
She raised one brow. “So what, Joseph?”
“So… peculiar.”
“Hm.” She thinned her lips, her chin raising just a fraction. “Offended, then.”
“Don’t be. It was meant in the best way possible, I assure you.”
“I fail to see how it possibly could be,” she murmured, but that wary look in her eyes lifted.
Then, Joseph did something he knew was foolish.
His mind and body were at war, the former telling him that he should stay where he was.
Maintain the distance. But his body moved of its own accord, and before he could think twice about it, he was sitting next to her on that little stone bench, so close that their arms nearly touched.
Catriona’s eyes widened slightly at the sudden proximity, but he pretended not to see, pretended as if sitting so closely together was normal. Because it was.
At least, it should be.
What wasn’t normal was how at ease he felt, how easily he forgot about his duties which had been his main focus since the day he inherited the dukedom.
He forgot the main reason behind this marriage of convenience, forgot that he was meant to maintain a reasonable degree of distance between them so that she never entertained the notion of love or affection.
He forgot far too many things at that moment, and the only thing he could focus on was Catriona.
For that moment, he didn’t particularly care.
“You are in quite the dilemma, Catriona,” he said, continuing as if nothing were amiss.
As if he did not notice the thrill that went through him when their elbows briefly brushed.
“And something must be done about it. Not for a second did I imagine that, of all the things you could be enduring, this was the most pressing.”
“It is because I am unused to being still,” she explained on a sigh.
“Usually, moments of peace are rare when one resides under the same roof as my sisters. And my uncle, I quickly learned, was more inclined to join in on their madness rather than stop them. I have always had something to do, something to occupy my time. And only then do I cherish the peaceful moments even more. But now that I know nothing but peace and silence, I feel… restless.”
Catriona nodded as if coming to a sudden realization.
“That’s what it is,” she went on. “I am not bored but restless. I am so accustomed to being busy with something that I don’t know what to do when I am not.”
“Perhaps this is your chance to relax a bit then,” Joseph began to suggest, but she was already shaking her head.
“Of all people, I would think you would understand what I am feeling,” she told him.
Catriona shifted to face him, piercing him with those beautiful green eyes that seemed to see right down to his core.
“You have been holed up in your office for days now. I would not be surprised to learn that there is where you sleep and eat as well. You seem to crave being busy.”
“I am only busy because I have no choice. My position gives me no choice.”
“And does my position mean that I must lounge around doing nothing? Is that what duchesses do all day?”
Her bottom lip jutted out into a slight pout that pulled another smile to his lips. “A duchess can do whatever she wishes.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Which does not surprise me,” Joseph responded easily, earning him a sharp look. “Tell me, Catriona, what do you want the most?”
“Pardon me?”
He met her stare, not backing down even though the warning bells blaring in the back of his mind told him that he should. “What do you want the most in this moment? Don’t think about it. Just tell me.”
“I…” She trailed off as her eyes drifted to his lips.
Without thinking, Joseph licked them, feeling hot all of a sudden.
He swallowed as the memory of their kiss flashed in his mind, pulling at something deep within him.
For a moment, he considered throwing caution to the wind, considered ignoring everything in him telling him that what he was about to do was a terrible idea.
Catriona stood suddenly and took two large steps away from him. She kept her back to him for a few seconds, and when she turned, she wore her usual look of cool indifference. “I know exactly what I intend to do.”
Joseph didn’t stand. He didn’t dare let himself get close to her again. “What is that?”
“I intend to find the only other person in this manor who surely must be as bored as I am.” Then, with only a small nod of farewell, she turned and left the gazebo, Nina happily bounding after her.
Joseph stared after her, tempted to follow.
He knew who she meant. At this time, Dorothea must be having a break from her lessons, surely drawing in her nursery like she usually did whenever she got the chance to.
Joseph knew his daughter well enough to know that she might not welcome the interruption.
But he was beginning to know Catriona well enough to sense that Dorothea’s coldness wouldn’t serve as a hindrance to her. She just might get his daughter to warm to her, just like she got him to do the same.