Chapter 12
Twelve
“Why doesn’t he like me?” Olivia asked as Thalia tucked her into bed.
“What?” Thalia pulled back, caught by surprise at the question. “Who?”
She scrunched her face. “His Grace. I don’t think he likes me very much.”
Do not ever think that, Olivia. Of course he likes you.” She felt her chest tighten at what she suspected to be a lie. She hated lying to her daughter. “His Grace is just… he is a man who likes to be left alone. It is not personal, I promise you.”
“But why?” She was in bed now, the covers pulled up to her chin, but her blue eyes were watery and always curious. “Being alone is not fun.”
Thalia laughed softly. “It is for some people.”
“But why?” she asked again, unable to fathom the concept.
Thalia sat down on the bed, stroking her daughter’s face. “He has simply lived alone for so long that he has come to enjoy the value of his own company. That is all.”
“I think he is sad,” she said.
“Why do you say that?”
Olivia opened her mouth wide in a yawn, wiggling herself beneath the blankets to find comfort. “I just think he is. Lonely too. Nobody likes to be alone.”
“Maybe you are right about that.”
“And he is not alone…” She yawned again, her eyelids starting to droop. “Not now. We… we are… we…” She drifted off to sleep before she could finish her thought.
Thalia smiled with love at her daughter, utterly taken by how adorable she was. And how perceptive, at that.
All this time, I assumed the duke either hated me or was so used to his own company that he wanted nothing to do with us. But what if Olivia is right, and he is simply lonely? And that is he too afraid to say so?
But did that make a difference? Thalia extended the invitation to supper earlier on a whim, feeling a sudden need to offer an olive branch because she could not stomach living beneath the same roof as a man who refused to say more than two words to her.
He turned her down sharply, proving without question that he did not wish to spend any time with them.
Lonely or not, the duke was set in his ways, and Thalia wasn’t about to try and change them. She still could not say if she wanted to.
In truth, except for this evening, it was easy enough to forget that the duke even existed.
He did not join them for supper. He did not join them for breakfast. And throughout the day, where he might have been home, Thalia never saw or heard so much as a peep from him.
The castle was large in size, and he was an expert at keeping to himself.
The only reason she might have wanted to change that was for Olivia’s sake. She could not understand why or how, but for some reason, the little girl had taken a keen interest in the duke. And to think that interest would not be returned hurt and angered her.
She spent much of the night thinking about this, her frustration growing with each passing minute. She did not care what the duke did or said to her, but where Olivia was concerned… she deserved better.
For that reason, on the following morning when Thalia was walking to Olivia’s room to wake her, she spied the duke turning down the end of the hallway, and decided to do what she would ordinarily never dream of doing. She went after him.
“I hope you are happy with yourself!” she called after him.
He was halfway down the hallway, but he froze mid-step when he heard her voice chasing him. Pausing for a moment, it was as if he did not believe what he heard, and she thought he was about to continue forward.
But then he turned and saw her, his usual scowl taking his face. “Excuse me?”
“I said I hope you are happy with yourself.” Thalia ignored the trembling of her limbs and the thumping in her chest as she stormed down the hallway.
She no longer feared Ronan as she once did, and it was time he understood that he couldn’t treat her and Olivia as he had been doing.
“Are you?” She came within a few feet of him pulled up, hands curled into fists by her side, eyes wide and fixed upon him so he could see her anger.
“I…” He leaned back slightly. “I have no idea what you are—”
“Do you want to know what Olivia asked me last night?” she spoke over him. “Do you?” Her eyes opened further. “She asked me why you hated her. She wanted to know what she had done for you to… to treat her as you did.”
Ronan’s brow tightened and she thought she saw what might have been regret. But he was quick to smother it, the scowl returning. “That has nothing to do with me.”
“Of course it does!”
“No,” he said firmly. Having overcome his initial surprise, he stood taller and leered over her as if to intimidate. “I told you clearly what I expected of this relationship. It is not my fault if you were not able to relay such a thing to your daughter.”
“She is three years old!”
“And she is not my problem.”
Thalia found that she was shaking. “So, that is how it is to be? For reasons I cannot understand…” A shake of the head. “Olivia has taken to you—she likes you. Why she does, I can only imagine.”
“She… she does?” Ronan’s scowl softened.
“Hard to believe, I know.” Thalia scoffed. “And it is not as if you have done anything to deserve it.”
“I never meant to… I did not try to make her like me. I would prefer it if she wanted nothing to do with me.”
“Oh, you have made that perfectly clear,” she scoffed again.
“If you wish to ignore me and treat me as if I do not exist, that is fine. I am an adult. And I understand well enough that you…” She flicked her eyes over him, letting him see her disdain.
“That you prefer to be left alone. But she is just a child, and she doesn’t understand why her father—”
“I am not her father.”
“Which she does not understand!” Thalia cried.
“I am not saying you must pretend to be that. Truly, I think it is best if you don’t.
” Again, it was subtle, but she could have sworn she saw a hint of what almost looked like shame cross his face.
“All I ask is that you do not spurn her entirely. That if she… if she speaks to you, that you at least try and be kind. Do you think that you can do that?”
Thalia didn’t know what she was expecting.
Now that the confrontation was done with, she supposed it had been more for her benefit than anything else.
Days of being ignored and treated as if she did not exist, and she was at her limit.
If Ronan wished to keep treating her like this, so be it.
But Olivia… she deserved to live in a house that felt like a home.
Shockingly, Ronan softened under her glare. “I am sorry.”
“You—you are?” she stammered.
“You are right,” he continued. “I was not kind to your daughter, and she deserves better. The next time I see her, I will do my best not to be so…” He clicked his tongue as he considered.
“Cold?” she offered.
“I was going to stand-offish.”
She laughed softly. “That will do. And I did not mean to attack you like this either…” With her anger gone, Thalia realized suddenly that she and the duke were alone for the first time since the day of their wedding.
Alone in the empty halls. Standing a little too close…
“I am just protective where Olivia is concerned.”
“Understandable,” he said. Then he licked his lips, his eyes flicking over her. “And I admire that about you. What you are willing to do, to put yourself through, for her. A girl who is not your—” He caught his tongue, eyes widening. “I am sorry. I did not mean…”
“That is fine,” she said. “You are right, she is not my daughter. Not technically speaking. But that hardly makes a difference.” She found that she was trembling, nervous again, not quite knowing what to say or how to say it.
Not knowing where to look. “As far as I am concerned, she is my daughter, and there is little I will not do for her.”
“Again, that is admirable.” He nodded, a smile tugging at his lips which he worked hard to keep hidden. “No doubt, the last thing you wanted was to marry someone like me. That alone…” He laughed awkwardly. “Proof again of what you are willing to do.”
She grimaced, the guilt striking her like a slap across the face.
Thalia was not stupid. She had known how little Ronan wanted this marriage. But what she hadn’t considered was what he thought about her own views. That he might even pity her for the way she was forced to marry a man like him.
Worse that I am the one who is responsible for all of it.
“It is not so bad…” She smiled and the urge to reach out and touch his arm in comfort came upon her.
She did not do so, as that felt entirely too familiar.
“Truly, you have done more than I could have hoped. And the fact that we hardly have to see you…” She laughed, only to see him grimace.
“I am joking, Ronan. If anything, we might even like to see you more.”
He scoffed. “Doubtful.”
“Not at all,” she said, meaning it. “We are set to live together for the rest of our lives. And while I don’t expect us to ever become friendly or…
” She looked away, finding her cheeks flushing at the implication.
“I know what this marriage is,” she said, speaking into her chest. “And I am happy with that. But there is no need to pretend as if the other does not exist. This is a large home, I agree. But it is not so large as that.”
Ronan said nothing at first. She was not looking at him, but she could feel his eyes upon her, studying her, searching for the lie.
The silence between them grew thick, and she had the urge to step back as if to shake it off.
But she stayed where she was, sensing that this right here was a moment too important to run from.
“I… I am used to living on my own,” he said finally, his voice a low growl. “And some habits are hard to break.”
“I know they are.”
“But if you… if you see me in the halls, if Olivia does come and see me again. Maybe it won’t be such a bad thing if the next time, we don’t look the other way.”
It was such a small thing, but in the context of their relationship, it was huge. “I will remember that. Speaking of which, I was about to wake Olivia for breakfast. If you like…”
His eyes widened and he looked away. “I am busy.”
“Of course,” she said just as quickly. “I just thought… I thought I would ask.”
“And I appreciate it. Perhaps… perhaps next time?”
“I’ll hold you to it,” she laughed.
The laughter died slowly between them. This time, the silence which followed wasn’t nearly so awkward.
Olivia looked up at Ronan, no longer feeling the need to shy away.
And he looked down at her, his scowl finally gone.
Their stare held, eyes locked, and something passed between them that hadn’t been there before.
An understanding, maybe? Or better, an acknowledgment that this marriage, whatever it was, had room to grow.
“I—I’ll see you later,” Olivia stammered, tearing her eyes free.
“I am sure you will.”
She gave an awkward smile, cheeks flushing, and she turned and scurried down the hall. As she went, she could feel the duke watching her, and this caused her smile to grow. What felt suspiciously like excitement rippled through her body, the sense that she had just turned a corner in this marriage.
Where that might lead, she could not say. But for the first time yet, she was eager to find out.