14. Adaline
What the fuck is he doing here? I whisper internally, the lack of an answer making mybody tingle and feel tighter than it should.
I rack the shelves in my brain, perusing through mental photo albums, trying toremember the last time I saw Asher. But the shock of seeing him again is too intense to deal with, too surreal for me to thumb-tack the day he was last in front of me.
“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hartford. You’ve done some pretty cool projects for a boyyour age!” Nigel says as he walks over to Asher, offering a hand to shake.
“The pleasure is all mine, sir. I and my father are huge fans of you, too.” Asher sparklesas he takes Nigel’s hand, his West Coast accent looming over his words, sharper than it did when he was seventeen.
That was the last time I saw him, I remember, the reading light in my brain shining onthe stills and snapshots from the final filming day of the coming-of-age movie we shot together—ones I’d forgotten were stored up there.
Before I could so much as blink, my head was a messy montage of dusty blonde hairand pacific eyes that frightened me more than lured me in. He’s grown into them, I suppose. Looking at them now doesn’t make my heart jumpy, so I guess he’s got that going for him.
As well as the dozens of award wins and nominations and a bank balance that is undoubtedly bigger than mine.
But Asher had never been my type. I’m not quite sure I liked him as a friend, to behonest with you.
In the beginning, anyway.
The second I stepped into the chemistry reading the day I met him, there was just anounce too much arrogance and charm for my liking. It was also blatantly obvious he liked me, and my sixteen-year-old little heart wasn’t sure how to handle something like that.
I never did tell him how I felt, come to think of it. I always seemed to be able to sneakmy way out of conversations that started with a friendly smile and ended with a not-so-innocent hand on my thigh.
He was a confusing person, Asher Hartford, and his on-and-off attitude with me theday I met him was just the beginning.
Nine Years Ago
“Adaline, darling! How lovely to see you again!” The soothing English tones ofSusan’s voice welcome me into the room I desperately don’t want to be in, but I’ll take the added ease where I can get it.
Anything to get me through another day of chemistry reading hell.
“Hey, Susan,” I chirp, and my body saunters into the room, my eyes beingreacquainted with the sad beige walls and no windows that are borderline terrifying.
Another reminder that I’m yet to find a way to escape this life.
“I’m sorry to have to call you in again. It’s just… we felt the last three boys you readwith weren’t quite right for the role, you see.”
I nod slowly at her.“I completely understand, Susan.”
I wonder if she can see that I’m almost dead behind the eyes. And shock-horror, it’snot because I fell asleep at four in the morning from writing all night after yesterday’s seven-hour chemistry read.
Which was pointless, considering I’m back in this room again for the fourth time thisweek because Susan here is beyond picky with her casting options.
Except when it comes to me. She likes me.
“You’re a cherub; you know that, right?” she asks, standing up from her chair andwaltzing over to embrace me.
‘You may have mentioned that, yes.” I say into her chest, trying to suck in someprecious oxygen as she squeezes me.
She eventually lets go of me and grips my shoulders, her warm brown eyes soothingmy soul.“I promise to let you have first dibs on the off days on the schedule. I’ll send it over to your parents later on. You can fill it out together before the rest of the cast gets their hands on it.”
“That’s really kind of you; thanks, Susan.” I smile back at her, knowing full well that Iwill never have a say in what days I have off. Or how I spend the days when I’m not assigned to a project either. Not until I’m eighteen, anyway.
Only two more years of listening to my dad dictate my life, while my mom sits by witha pleasing smile and no objections before I can cash in my royalties from ten years of soul-sucking acting jobs and move somewhere far away.
New York sounds good. It is the furthest place away from them in the country, afterall.
Far away from Nate, too, I remind myself, hating the way my heart aches at thethought of being thousands of miles away from him.
“Well, he should be here soon. Come take a seat while we wait for him, and you cantell me all about—”
Her words are cut short by the creaky door I just walked through creaking again, bothof our attentions falling onto the noise.
“I’m sorry I’m late, Su. You weren’t kidding about L.A. traffic.” A low, charming voice calls from the door as a body that makes me pathetically gulp slinks in from behind it.
Holy fuck, I had no idea she’d cast an actual Greek god to play my love interest. Ifshe had told me that little nugget of information I would have brushed my hair.
Shades of sandy blonde hair swept over his forehead, a small ache invading my neckfrom the sheer height of him. I would say his height is his best feature, but I seem to be caught in a tractor beam his sapphire eyes are casting on me. And if I focus on how they kind of remind me of the ocean, I can bypass how intense they are.
Somehow, I manage to shift my gaze down his face, where they land on a smirk that isthe definition of cheeky. And… Oh God, he has dimples too. That wasn’t fair on my little heart or overactive imagination.
Susan has outdone herself. Truly.
My shaky feet waltz me over to where Achilles himself is standing in the open door, myhand outstretching, ready for him to shake with hands that… Oh, dear God, his hands have actual muscles.
My head falls forward as a tiny laugh slips past my lips before my eyes zero in on thetips of his shoes, making my head jerk right back up to meet his powerful gaze.
My balmed lips pry open with a pop.“Hi, I’m… uh, Adaline, pleased to… meet—”
“Susan?” His low voice interrupts, a more than unimpressed look playing across hisface. “Is this a meet-and-greet or a chemistry read? Why is she nervous? I thought you said she was a professional.”
Oh, my mistake. He’s an asshole.
I freeze on the spot as the prick himself steps around me and wanders over to Susan, I’m presuming. I’m still staring at the spot where his body once was, too taken back by his godly facade for his asshole attitude to register in my head.
“Oh, no, Adaline isn’t a rooky. She’s one of the best in the game at the moment.” Susan chuckles, clearly affected by his looks, as I’m sure the rest of the people he encounters are. “Adaline, darling?”
I spin on my heels, turning towards the two of them, both staring at me like I’m ascience experiment.“Yeah?”
“You get a little nervous there?” She asked, in a tone that was too condescending for my liking.
I snap out of my thoughts.“Nervous? Me? Does that sound like me, Susan?” I askwith a head tilt.
“No, no, it doesn’t. But you—”
“I was trying to figure out who he was, and when I couldn’t place him, I couldn’t helpbut giggle at the thought of working with a newbie. They’re always so… interesting… to work with.”
A scoff comes from Achilles.“Am I the newbie in this little scenario in your head?”
“Well, who did you think I was talking about?” I take a step closer. “It’s just that I’venever seen your face before, or know your name to connect the dots. But because you so rudely interrupted me as I tried to introduce myself, we never got to that part.”
Achilles licks away a smile, clearly trying to hide the frustration that is no doubtbubbling inside of him.“I’m Asher,” he says in a whisper, too sultry for a boy of his stature. “Asher Hartford.”
I try not to let my legs buckle beneath me as he steps closer.“Well, Asher Hartford,I’m Adaline Mo—”
“I know who you are, Miss Moore.”
My silly little heart did nothing but thump ten times the speed it was ever meant towhen his confession reached my ears.
“Oh,” is all I can muster up as he reaches the tips of my shoes, before lifting ahand for me to shake, but for the life of me, I don’t know whether I should shake it or attempt to shatter it. “Well, Asher, I would say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but I think I’ll wait until this reading is over to make my final decision.”
I ultimately lift my hand and meet his as we shake it, his head leaning down ever soslightly to whisper. “Likewise.”
Seventeen-year-old Asher was a cocky little thing, which was probably why I hatedthat shoot more than I had any other, to begin with. He was pompous, arrogant, and the definition of entitled…
But there were times when he’d drop that mask, and for the minute that he did, I likedhim. I liked the person he was letting me get to know.
He’d do little things, like bring me my favourite breakfast on Mondays, because heknew not having them to myself was eating away at me. He pulled that little nugget of information out of me when he’d somehow convinced me to sneak away from the set for an hour to go get ice cream from the parlour around the corner.
There were times when, coupled with his height and pacific gaze, I felt drawn to him.The blue in his eyes would lighten and when I’d notice the change… I’d melt.But, like something would switch in his head, after being sweet, he’d pick up thatasshole attitude and carry it around with him until the next time he felt the need to whisk me away.
I couldn’t tell what caused it at first. What made him morph back into the asshole who I’d met before knowing how sweet he could be… until one day, when I finally plucked up the courage to ask him where the attitude came from, he sunk his head in his hands and told me what had brought him to L.A. in the first place.
Like me… acting was his parent’s idea, never his. And when he’d told me that he’d bedragged away from his hometown, in one of the Carolinas, away from all his friends and everything he knew, just to live the life that his parents could never have for themselves… I’d never felt more understood in my life.
Sure, Nate was there as my shoulder to cry on. He was there to pick me up and wipeaway the tears. But Asher knew what it was like to live a life where all you wanted was nothing more than to set it alight.
That was what made me hold onto the times when he’d flash me a smile and a headtilt, dragging me from the set and sneaking me away for ice cream. When I’d watch that smile fade and that cape of anger and frustration strangle him, so much that he had to walk off set… I’d remind myself that he was new in town and his attitude was a front for how he was trying to fit in, trying to deal with the cards he’d been dealt.
That was probably why I introduced him to Nate.
I thought that, maybe, if he had a guy friend who was almost his age, it would ease him into theintensity of L.A., and that with Nate being as sweet and understanding as he is… was…I thought it was a foolproof plan.
But I get the feeling that from the way Nate’s eyes are burning a hole through the sideof Asher’s head, like he’s hoping if he stares at him long enough he’ll burst into flames, his opinion of him hasn’t changed in the years since they met.
“Hello, stranger.” Asher’s words pull me away from Nate and onto him. Up close,he’s even more devastatingly handsome than he was from afar.
Was he always this hot? Or has he just gotten taller?
I shake my head, focus my eyes on his and slide out from the booth I was gettingtoo comfortable in. “Hi, Ash. God, I can’t remember the last time I saw you.” I rush out the lie, like my mind hadn’t been possessed by that moment just now, those nerves he naturally brought out in sixteen-year-old me bubbling for the first time in years.
Before I can steady my nerves, I feel Asher bend down to embrace me, his armssnaking around my shoulders and tugging me into his chest. The collar of his shirt brushed the top of my head, washing waves of sandalwood and earthy musk all over me.
He doesn’t pull away as quickly as I thought he would, his arms lingering on my backand brushing the tips of my hair, which I can only assume is making Nate twitch like crazy.
Keep hugging me, Achilles.
Soon enough, he’s straightening away from me, his smile even wider when he stepsback. “I think I spotted you at that Defenders Two premiere last year.” he admits, his eyes sweeping over my face.
“You were there that night?”
“Oh yeah, I snagged a last-minute invite. Which I am pretty glad about considering it’sprobably my favourite movie ever.” He steps around, causing me to spin and find Nate still tucked away in the booth. “You were personally my favourite performance, though, Nate. You were awesome, man,” he beams, his cheeks glowing with a certain starstruck wonder.
Nate, on the other hand, still looks like he’s plotting how to murder him, as I knockmy head to the side to watch him. “Oh, thanks,” he grits out, before catching my pointed stare, one he’s seen a few times when we interacted with Asher when we were younger.“Yeah, I um… loved you in that new period drama. It was… a performance.”
I act better than that, right?
Asher still looks like sunshine as I flick my eyes back over to him, that perfectlywhite smile not budging or clocking the sarcasm that coated Nate’s compliment. “Why thank you, Nate.” he beams, before turning his focus to me. “And that’s not to say I didn’t like your performance.” His smile becomes a smirk. “You were a close second, Miss Moore.”
In a move that would have made sixteen-year-old Addy want to punch him, Asher runs a hand through his hair, the strands of blonde that lay over his forehead falling perfectly back into place, before his eyes subtly drop to my lips, making them part, as though he made them do it with his mind, before holding my gaze again.
I didn’t like the way my heart liked that. Not one bit.
“Asher, there are some people I’d like you to meet!” Sebastian’s voice filters into thetension between us before Asher tips his head of sandy waves at me before turning on his heels to find Seb.
I have to catch my breath, stupidly trying to pin down the smile that, for whateverreason, won’t leave my face.I used to despise this man. I willingly spent a portion of my teen years trulyplotting the downfall of his career, with the boy sulking behind me, too. So why was I now urging my legs to stop following after him like a little puppy?
I absentmindedly turned on the balls of my feet, immediately feeling the burn of Nate’sstare, before pinning my eyes to him.
“What?” I question, hating the way he looks like he wants to murder me now.
A scoff pushes through his tight-lined smile as he slides to the edge of the booth.“You know he doesn’t remember me?”
“What do you mean? He just said he loved your performance in—”
“He knows Nate Patricks, Addy.”
“Well, that’s your name, isn’t it?”
“Yeah but—”
“Well, then what’s the issue?”
His head drops, before springing back up in a heartbeat. “He sees the actor, the guywho’s won a fuck-tonne of awards and been on every fucking chat show there is. But what he doesn’t see is the boy he made fun of when we were sixteen, Addy. He has no idea that I was the one you introduced him to, the one who he asked to leave so he could spend time with just you that night.”
He stretches his legs to stand himself up, towering over me in a way that makes myknees almost cave in on command, his olive skin glowing under the stage lighting. “And what hurts more is the fact that you’re standing there grinning like you don’t remember that we both admitted what an asshole he was the second he left.”
“Nate, we were teenagers; we didn’t know any better. We didn’t really mean anythingwe said—”
“I suppose that makes sense then.” He says, deadpanning his face.
Our conversations were like a temperamental faucet, running hot, then cold, burningyou alive, then turning you into ice. There was never any warning when the words would flow with ease, then become pointed, deadly, and always with a layer of venom dripping off every syllable that left either of our mouths.
I shake my head at him, the curl that I hid behind my ear falling in front of my face. Ipractically turn to stone the second I see Nate’s hand fly up and put it back in its place. My cheeks shiver from his touch, and my eyes shoot to his, green gems which are gazing at that piece of hair like it’s a gold bar.
You mustn’t find his presence that unbearable if you let him touch you like that.
“You said you loved me when you were seventeen.” His stare fell to my lips. “Isuppose the fact you never did would make sense if you never meant anything you said back then.”
He steps away from me, an ache invading my neck from how he towered over me,before his hand falls to my face, and his eyes trail down and back up my body.
Like he has no idea who I am.
I try to catch the breaths I didn’t realise he’d stolen as he strides off in the direction ofthe wall of dressing room doors, but out of nowhere, he stops, his head angling over his shoulder and his attention crashing down on me like a landslide.
“Just so you know, Add”s: I’ve meant every word I’ve ever spoken to you.”
And with that, he leaves me.
Without his judgement, I let my eyes trace every inch of him as he sulks off into thedepths of the set, my hands wishing they had the script I’d abandoned before still in my grips—anything that could distract me from the way I want to run after the other boy who once had his name carved on my heart.
For the rest of the day, I tried to avoid figuring out whether I meant Asher or Nate.