16. Adaline
Nate’s words have been ringing in my ear ever since I left the lot an hour ago.Constant and deathly, like the chime of cursed church bells.
But I suppose his words always seemed to follow me when I didn’t want them to,stalking me until I finally started writing. Even then, I find myself injecting an argument between my characters that always seems to spark from whatever Nate says to me.
“I thought you would’ve been bored of playing this part by now.”
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
And the way he was glaring at Asher? Berating me for smiling at him?It was enough for my guilty conscience to loom behind me in my reflection, its bony fingers digging into my shoulder.
I would say I had no idea how much of a grudge he could hold… but that would be alie.
He knew I never felt that way about Asher. Sure, it was obvious to even the blindest of people that Asher wanted me like that, but it was never going to happen.
Until it did. Kind of. But what happened between us was make-believe, at least forme, anyway.
Just as I go to open my laptop, ready to distract myself from Nate and his newfoundlove for being cryptic, the buzz from my phone stops me. I slip the thing out from my jeans pocket, shuffling with excitement when I see it’s Goldie calling.
“Hey, Goldie!” I squeal, standing up from the bean bag I was becoming one with anddancing over to the floor-to-ceiling window of my office. My eyes hovered over the fierce sapphire sky, taking in how vibrant all the trees were starting to look across Central Park, as I waited for her voice.
As much as I loved New York in the fall, the springtime was easily my favourite wayto see the city blossom.
“Hey, Addy, how’ve you been?” Goldie asks, the familiar tones of her voice warmingme like the sun was.
“I’ve been… okay, I guess.” I mull, resting the phone between my shoulder and myear, picking at the lilac polish on my nails.
“Okay, spill it,” she demands.
“What?—”
“Spill. It.”
There was no point in holding anything back from Goldie. Even through the phone, shecould always tell when something was wrong, like I could with her.
I sigh and drag my eyes away from the sky. “It’s just the Forever and Always shoot.It’s draining me more than I thought it would.”
Her voice was coated with confusion. “But you’ve got Nate there, right? I thoughthaving him there like you had in Defenders would make the whole thing easier?”
Sometimes, I wonder if being honest with Goldie and telling her that Nate hates myguts would be easier than lying to her. But I can’t. Not yet. Especially not when we are due to fly to L.A. in a few weeks, where they’ll no doubt cross paths.
And I don’t have to tell Nate to pretend that we”re still friends; he thinks of Goldielike a little sister. He’d do anything to keep that sense of magic floating around her head all her life if he could.
“No, he’s great.” If great suddenly means that he whispers words into my ear like a sultry riddler, then yeah, he was great. “But someone showed up today, a new cast member. And I think he’s gonna shake things up a bit.”
Goldie’s gasp rattles through the speaker. “Oh God, is he an asshole?”
I chuckle at the curse word slipping so casually out of my little sister. “No, it’s notthat. I’ve just worked with him before, and I… I think he kinda had a thing for me.”
After a moment or two of silence, she finally asks, “It’s not Jacob, is it?”
I let out a gasp this time, spinning on my heels to face the wall. “Oh my God, no! He’slike my brother. It’s someone I worked with a long time ago, when I was your age.”
Gasping seemed to be her chosen reaction today, another one echoing through thephone, one that had my feet halting like she’d cracked a case she’d been trying to solve for years. “No… it can’t be him.”
“Him?”
The sound of her feet slapping against the tiles of her bedroom let me know she waspacing. “I can’t remember his name, but I remember you and Nate arguing about him. Oh God, what the frick was his name?”
“Goldie, you can say fuck; you just said asshole a minute ago—”
“Stop distracting me and let me think of this guys—Oh wait!”
“What?”
“Is it Asher Hartford? The blonde one with the scary eyes?”
I let out a sigh that only confirmed she was right.
“Oh God, you haven’t seen him in like… forever.”
“I know, I know.” My feet shuffled back towards the window, the sunlight maskingmy face. “But, to be honest, he seems to have grown up a lot. I mean, the last time I saw him was when he was seventeen, so I’d hope that’s the case. He’s sweet, in a way, and kind of charming, but not in a cocky way.”
“Oh, so you’re screwed, then?”
I blinked. “How am I screwed?”
I could feel her eye roll through the phone. “I was ten, Addy, not blind. Sure, you andNate called him names, but I saw the way you looked at him when he dropped you guys off.”
She took a breath. “There’s a fine line between love and hate, Addy, and I’m notsaying you loved Asher, but you’ve got to admit you had a little thing for him, too.”
She was right; the line between love and hate was scarily thin. I’ve learned that betterthan anyone over the past few weeks. But annoyingly, she was also right about Asher; even I fell victim to his god-like stance and weirdly powerful gaze. I was only a girl.
“Right, fine. I had, like, a minuscule crush on him. But not… now.” I stumbled on mywords, recalling how utterly helpless I felt existing under Asher’s stare this morning.
“Liar.” she giggled.
“I’m not!”
“Are.”
“Am not.”
“ARE!”
“Marigold Moore I swear to God—”
“Addy, it’s okay to like him! When was the last time you had a boyfriend, or went outwith someone? How can a woman of your social status not have men throwing themselves at you? Pleading to go on a date with you?”
I paused for a moment, my eyes blurring against the skyline in front of me, my mindflicking through a mental calendar, and almost fainting when I couldn’t pinpoint a single date I’d been on in… years.
Years?I hadn’t been on a date in years?
I remember being a heavy serial dater when I first arrived in New York. I wasnineteen, still getting over Nate and was free for the first time in my life. I was gullible and stupid, and living by my own rules. But when things took off with my career, taking me to places that I’d only ever dreamed about… I got lost in a world I was comfortable with, and stayed there.
Maybe it was time to give the whole dating thing a try again.
“Okay, first of all, if a man ever pleaded to go on a date with me, I’d laugh at them.Get real. And… to be honest, you make a good point about the dating thing. I think the last time I went on one was before I’d even auditioned for Defenders.”
Goldie hummed. “Interesting, so no dates in… what, four years?”
Oh God, had it been that long?
“Sounds to me like—”
“Don’t say it’s a sign.”
“It’s a sign. It’s the biggest sign ever, you dummy! What else does it mean when a boyyou used to have a crush on walks back into your life, who is even more handsome than he was seven years ago, and you need to get back out on the dating scene?”
“Stay in and write about the whole thing instead and eat a worrying amount of icecream?”
Her laugh forces a smile out of me. “No, Addy. It means you call him, and ask him togo for drinks.” She paused for a second. “And maybe wear something slutty.”
“Goldie!”
“What? You know I’m right.”
“As always.”
I fall back down onto the bean bag at my feet, a breath staggering out ofme as I settle back into the shape it had remembered. “Maybe some other time, Goldie. I’ve got a lot going on right now.”
I didn’t, but I knew she wouldn’t push me on it.
Besides, going on a date with Asher wasn’t on my wish list, and in some twisted way,it didn’t feel fair to Nate. I don’t know what was blocking me from picturing what a date with Asher would look like, but it was in the shape of Nate regardless. His brooding silhouette loomed over every word that flew through my mind, as I was considering doing this for myself.
We both chuckle before silence and static descend on us, which isn’t usual for ourconversations.
“You okay?” I asked, pursing my lips in a pout.
She takes a breath, like she’s preparing to recite a monologue she’d rather set alight. “Idon’t know why you and Nate won’t just get back together. You were so cute. I was convinced you’d be married by now.”
Me too, little sister.
A sigh falls so naturally from me. “It’s complicated, Goldie. Nate and I were justkids; we didn’t know any better. There’s a lot that a career like this does to someone, and Nate and I just aren’t the same people we were back then.”
“Oh, okay.” She barely sucked in a breath before she asked. “Isn’t he seeing thatblonde girl anyway?”
I didn’t answer at first, but my jaw started to tick in time to the beat of my pulse. Myback straightened and ached as I sprung up from my seat. “What girl?”
“She’s on your shoot… Ally? Amelia? She wears those cute dresses, and is like awalking advertisement for the colour pink.”
It was as if those bony, icy fingers quickly sharpened their claws and trailed down my back when I finally realised who shemeant.
“Amber Westbrooke?” I gritted out.
“Yeah, that’s her.”
Those fingers shot back up my spine and wrapped around my neck, stopping anyfresh air from seeping into my lungs. I could barely feel my legs when I asked her. “What do you mean by ‘seeing her’?”
She pauses for a moment, before my phone vibrates against my ear. “An articlepopped up on my phone right before I called you, I just sent it over to you.” I pulled my phone away, rapidly swiping to find what she’d sent and putting Goldie on speaker.
“Apparently, they were spotted leaving some production lot together and then went toan apartment block in the East Village.”
I felt my heart lodge in my throat. My pulse started dying.Goldie’s soothing tones paused, allowing me to focus on the words plastered on myphone screen, along with a picture of Nate and Amber sliding into a car together.
Here’s the latest from Entertainment NYC; superstars of the acting world, Nate Patricks and Amber Westbrooke, were spotted leaving the set of the up-and-coming movie adaptation ‘Forever’ and Always”, where the two are co-stars.
The picture depicts Patricks and Westbrooke sneaking out of the production lot in Lower Manhattan. The next photo shows the famous pair ten minutes later, sliding out of a car and entering one of the East Villages’ more well-known apartment blocks.
Fans lined the doorway, hoping the pair would return shortly after, but there has been no sign of them since.
Could this be a blossoming friendship? Could the movie gods be working their magic and making sparks fly both on and off-screen? Stay tuned for updates!
It was as if a storm had infiltrated the city. The sun wasn’t shining nearly as bright asit had done a second ago, and the colours of the sky had dulled, a boring dusky blue taking its place. Grey clouds bordered my vision, my screen blurring.
The only thing I could see clearly was his smile. The one I could write an entire novelon from memory.
He used to tell me I was the only one with the power to make them appear. Clearly,his smiles also had a taste for southern belles who make a colour their entire personality.
”I really like Nate.”
Amber”s confession rings in my ear, that whole encounter from the first day of filming replaying in my mind.
I felt my heart ache in a way that it hadn’t since the day he never came back for me.I didn’t understand Nate sometimes. Didn’t understand our relationship. One minute,we’d be silent; the next, he’d notice how I”d shut myself out from the lights and the set, we’d talk about how I was doing with this career that he knew I hated.
And then, as if his memory had been wiped, he’d urge me closer, whisper things thatwouldn”t make sense, reminding me that I was childish, when I had no idea what was wrong with us, what I’d supposedly done to make him neverwant to see me again.
I could see the fear in his eyes. He didn’t want to tell me, he wanted me to remember,and I think that my finally understanding why he never showed up that day scares him more than he’ll ever admit.
It means a conversation that is seven years past its due date.
It means dissecting a weird relationship built on lies and silence and secrets.
It means talking without wanting to kiss him.
My eyes hover over the image of him and Amber, absorbing every smile line, everyfleck of light in their eyes, every unspoken word floating between them.
It means nothing.
I’ve tried to reason with him. I’ve tried to find out what went wrong with us. I’ve triedto be his friend. I’ve tried not to let him get the better of me. I’ve tried to tell him that I don’t hate him…
But if all Amber has to do for him to listen is bat her lashes and smile, then what was the point?
We’re over.
I shake my shoulders, straightening my spine to regain the inches of my height I’d lostwhile in my thoughts. Suddenly the blue in the sky was bright again. The sun was warm. Not a fucking cloud in sight.
“Did you see it?” Goldie asks, sight concern in her voice.
I lick away a smile. “Yeah… I did.” Before she can question me about what I thinkabout them, my voice breaks through again. “You know what, Goldie? I think you might be right about the dating thing.”
She gasps. “Really?”
“Yeah… I do.” I delete the article from my phone, and swipe up my contacts. “Andluckily for me, I never deleted Asher’s number.”
Asher ??
Today 17:33 PM
Hey, Asher. It’s Adaline. I really hope you haven’t changedyour number since you were seventeen, but if you have,you won’t receive this anyway.
But if this is you, I have a question for you.
Why the hell would I change the number that I gave toAdaline Moore? I could probably sell this number fordouble my net worth just because you have it.
I don’t even know how you spend your networth right now. What on earth would youbuy with double?
A lot.
But now I’m curious what youspent that Defenders of Timepaycheck on. That was way more thandouble what I’m worth.
Have you seen the prices of books these days?I barely have any of that left.
Well then, I guess that answers your question.Looks like I’ll be buying books, too.
Can I ask my question now?
Or are you going to keep trying to buy me?
Ask away, Miss Moore.
Would you wanna get drinks sometime?
I know we”ve barely spoken since we were kids, and I don”t know, I though it might be nice to catch up?
Are you asking me on a date?
Because if that’s the case I mightjust have to sell this number to pay for it.
What do you do on dates thatrequires billions of dollars?
The last I checked, flights toAustria are hellishly expensive.
Are you already drunk? Why on earth would we go to Austria?
I think you forget how much you confessedto me during that shoot, Adaline.
Especiallythe part where you sat me down and gave me avery detailed explanation about why youneed to visit the Admont Abbey Librarybecause you couldn’t stop dreaming about it.
You remember that?
I remember everything, Adaline.
But to answer your question, I would love to gofor drinks with you. Are you free tonight?
Tonight sounds great.
Text me your address, and I’ll pick you up at eight.
Shall I pack a suitcase?
Only if you want to make your dreams come true.