Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
REID
‘Increased brain activity. Vital signs improving. One of the nurses saw her move her hand earlier.’
Those are just some of the things the doctor told Sadie’s parents before we got here, and they have now relayed that information to me.
Or at least Sadie’s mum did. Sadie’s father is still giving me the silent treatment as if this is all my fault, but if that’s how he is choosing to cope with the angst of his daughter’s situation, then so be it.
I cannot imagine the hell he is in and I never want to contemplate my own daughter fighting for her life like his daughter is fighting for her own.
At least I have an update on Sadie’s situation, and her prognosis certainly sounds far more positive than it has done at any point previously.
Sure, she’s still in a coma.
But for the first time in months, there is genuine hope, and almost expectation from the medical staff treating her, that she will wake up.
Of course, that has totally transformed the outlook for my family, because now there is a chance that Arthur and Ruby don’t have to spend the rest of their lives trying to fill the enormous hole that their mother has left in it.
‘Why are her eyes still shut?’ Arthur asks when he sees Sadie. ‘I thought she was awake.’
‘She’s not awake yet, but there is a good chance she might wake soon,’ I say, trying to explain the situation as best I can to my young audience.
But it’s complicated enough for a doctor to explain it to a fairly well-educated adult, so it’s pretty tricky trying to tell a child about the inner vagaries of the human brain and its recovery from trauma.
‘I’m proud of you, Mummy,’ Ruby says then, and just hearing her voice reminds me of how little I have heard it over the past few months.
I’ve missed hearing my daughter sing and shout and chatter away endlessly to me in the car.
I figured she might never return to being that happy little girl if her mum didn’t wake.
But Ruby is showing signs of her true self again, at the exact moment Sadie is showing signs that she might be coming back to consciousness.
I leave my children to sit by their mother for a little while and return to the corridor just outside the room.
That’s where Luna stands with Jude in her arms, and she has been lingering out here ever since we arrived.
I didn’t expect her to want to enter the room where Sadie lies.
I didn’t even expect her to want to come to the hospital at all.
But she insisted, so here she is, although she looks very pale, and I’m wondering if she regrets coming with us now.
‘You really didn’t need to come here,’ I say to my partner as we look through the glass at Arthur and Ruby beside their mother’s bed. ‘It’s nice that you wanted to be with us, but this must be so hard for you. Would you like me to take you home? Sadie’s parents can stay here with the kids.’
I dread to think how much all these trips back and forth from our new house to this hospital are costing me in fuel, but it’s hardly important in the grand scheme of things.
‘No, I’m fine,’ Luna replies, but she has done a bad job of lying and I wish she would just tell the truth. Then again, I can hardly claim to be truthful myself based on what I have been keeping from her over these past few weeks.
I still haven’t spoken to Luna about the man who came to see me outside my office.
I still haven’t discussed with her how he passed on a message from Gemma in which, once again, that woman is claiming that Luna framed her for the fire.
I certainly haven’t mentioned anything about how it was suggested that Sadie was not fully in the wrong on the night of her accident and that Luna is hiding what really happened between those two women.
Why haven’t I brought it up? Why do I feel the need to keep it to myself?
Is it because I think it’s ridiculous, so doesn’t warrant discussion?
Or is it because I’m scared there might be something in it?
I keep telling myself it’s the former, but maybe only because that’s scarier than contemplating the latter. But it is ridiculous, right? Luna did not frame Gemma and she is not hiding anything about what happened with Sadie that night at our old house.
I have to look at the facts. The police are satisfied from the evidence that Gemma was the arsonist and, as for Sadie, she slashed at Luna with a knife, not the other way around. She was also in our home. Luna didn’t go to her. That means Luna is innocent.
So why can’t I just talk about this with her?
‘I’m glad the children are happier,’ Luna says then. ‘They don’t deserve to go through what they have been through.’
That’s a nice sentiment, but I can also detect what is being left unsaid. Luna is acknowledging the children’s happiness now that Sadie might wake up, but at the same time, it’s drawing attention to the fact that she is unhappy.
‘If she does wake up, we will deal with it together,’ I tell Luna, putting an arm around her shoulder as Jude nestles into her chest. ‘Whatever the police have to do and whatever course the investigation has to take when Sadie can contribute to it, we will face it as one and get through it, and eventually, this will all be over. Then we’ll be able to focus on our family and raising Jude in our new house with all the fun things we have to look forward to.
Our first Christmas. Our first holiday. Hell, our second holiday even, because I sure need more than one break from this place. ’
I laugh then, hoping Luna might do the same, or at least show a smile. But she doesn’t. She just keeps staring through the window at Arthur and Ruby, who are each holding a hand of their mother. Or is she staring at Sadie? It’s impossible to tell.
‘I don’t feel well,’ Luna suddenly says, turning away from the window. ‘Can you hold Jude?’
‘Yes, of course,’ I say, quickly taking our son from her so she can have some breathing space.
As I feel my son’s weight, the little boy already packing on a few pounds despite still being so small, I notice how weak and fragile his mother looks.
Luna has gone even paler than she was when we arrived at the hospital and now she is reaching out for the wall as if to give herself some support.
But she doesn’t reach it in time and I’m unable to try and support her myself because I’m holding Jude.
That’s why I can’t stop her from falling to the floor, and as she hits the ground, I see that her eyes are closed and, a second later, she is lying still, totally unmoving, as if she wasn’t even just talking to me at all.
Has she fainted?
Has she suffered a sudden drop in blood pressure?
Or is it something else?
I have no idea.
But we’re in the perfect place to find out.