Chapter 26
Noelle
We drove in silence, with the heater blasting.
Despite the heat, every muscle in my body was rigid, my fingers curled into tight fists, fighting the pain flooding through me.
I desperately wanted to go back in time.
I wanted to find a way through that conversation that produced a different outcome. One where we stayed together.
What should I have said?
I knew he wanted to be with me. He didn’t want this to be over.
But he was right. I wasn’t over Spencer.
I was carrying wounds that stood between us, making it impossible to give him the reassurance and commitment he needed.
And maybe he needed more of it because of his past. His wife had chosen someone else and somewhere else.
That had to hurt. It must have eroded his confidence.
We each had our own scratches and distortions, like those old VHS tapes.
When he parked outside the bookstore, I halted, turning to look at him. “Come inside. I want to show you something.”
“What?”
“Please?”
I expected him to refuse, but he killed the engine and followed me to the door.
Cold wind whipped us with snowflakes that melted on my neck, mixing with the cold sweat I was already producing.
I didn’t want this to end. I didn’t want to lose the connection between us.
But I couldn’t promise him something I wasn’t sure about.
I’d already broken a promise, and it still haunted me.
Was there any way around this?
Despite having no plan, I took his hand and pulled him into the store, all the way to the armchairs. I was desperate, improvising.
“You put everything back the way it was,” he noted, browsing the store. “Except for the doorbell.”
“I’ll do that, too. I just need to get Jackson—”
“Don’t. I like the new one.” His eyes softened, and it gave me hope.
I took a step closer. “If you’re sure?”
He nodded. “What did you want to show me?”
I took a breath, meeting his gaze. He’d called my bluff. “Nothing. I just wanted to hold onto you. I know it’s wrong, but I don’t know anyone else in this town. Not really. I need you to be my friend.” My voice came out shaky, alarmed. “Please.”
I was losing him, and I couldn’t handle it.
He swallowed. “Of course.”
“It’s true. I’m scared of Spencer. I know I have to face him at some point. But I can’t do it yet.”
“So you’d rather… sail away?” The hurt in his voice made my throat tighter.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”
He grabbed my wrists. “Don’t go. Move in with me. We’ll lock the door and…” His words faded to uncertainty, and I saw the doubt in his eyes.
We couldn’t keep hiding. Not here. Not together.
“I know,” I said quietly. “Whatever we do in this town is everybody’s business. But I don’t want to lose you. Not when I’m still here. It’s too painful.”
He frowned. “What do you propose we do?”
We stood for a moment, examining each other with a mix of hope and fear.
Was there a way forward? Could we go back to being friends?
Just friends, nothing more? My arms ached to touch him again.
How hard would it be to keep my hands off him?
I already missed him even though he was right here, breathing the same air.
I stepped so close my hands landed on his chest, and my mouth was an inch from his. I could feel he wanted me, even if he was fighting himself. “We go back to being friends.”
He drew a quick breath. “Just friends?”
I was standing so close to him now, and memories of every touch and moment we’d shared flooded my mind. I wanted his hands on me. We were good together. So good, that never touching him again felt inconceivable. Absurd.
“Yeah. Very close friends,” I said, my heart pounding. “Bosom buddies.”
If I didn’t act now, I’d lose him. I peeled off my sweater and threw it over the armchair, then tugged off my undershirt and unhooked my bra.
“Bosom,” he repeated, staring at my bare chest, his mouth ajar.
I bit back a smile. “I think it’s the safest. Since you don’t want to get involved with someone… temporary. This way, you won’t have to.”
“O…kay.” His breath was heavy, his gaze lingering on my skin, barely visiting my eyes. “This bosom buddy thing… what exactly is involved?”
“We spend time together.”
He was pressed flush against me now, regarding me with cautious wonder. “Can I spend the whole time between your legs?”
My clit pulsed in response to his words, and my back curved. We held there for a moment, his erection pressing into my thigh, his hot breath on my neck. He was arguing with himself, holding still. Would he leave me here, naked and alone?
“Fredrik,” I whispered. “I know I’m playing dirty, but I don’t want to give you up. I can’t. Please don’t leave me here.” My throat tightened at the thought.
He pulled back, running his fingers through his messy hair, his eyes full of conflict. “You’re going to break my heart.” I held my breath as he swallowed, then exhaled in surrender. “But I can’t say no. My dick would never forgive me.”
His rueful smile made my heart melt into a puddle. The words might have been crude, but they felt like the sweetest thing. The hottest thing. A promise.
“I think my pussy would hold a grudge, too. It’s quickly becoming your biggest fan.”
“Fuck, Noelle. You talk dirty.”
He helped me out of my pants and pushed me into the armchair.
I reached to unbutton his jeans and freed his hard-on, but he wouldn’t let me go on.
Instead, he lowered between my thighs again.
As his lips found my sensitive flesh, I let out a shaky whimper.
His touch was magic. Soft, teasing, and surprising.
It ebbed and flowed through me like a current, accumulating sensations that I could barely handle.
He teased me through my panties, then pulled them aside.
With each lick and stroke, I shivered from head to toe.
I wanted to hold on, but I couldn’t. The sensation built and built until I grabbed the chair, letting out a broken gasp as my body dissolved under a crashing, hot-sweet wave of pleasure.
I held there for a moment, letting it wash through me.
“Should we test how sturdy your chair is?” I asked, getting to my feet.
“It’s pretty sturdy.”
He gave me a sly smile and helped me to sit on the back of the chair. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tight as he drove into me. I was teetering on the edge in more ways than one, and each thrust built more pressure in my core, taking me closer.
“Harder,” I grunted, and he complied, his hands gripping my buttocks as he pushed into me, again and again.
He needed this. I could sense the immense relief as he came. I felt his release pumping inside me, and it sent me over the edge. I came apart, my arms tight around his neck, holding on to him in more ways than one.
Staying friends made sense. We could protect ourselves and avoid complications.
But I couldn’t keep away from this man. He made me feel better than I’d ever felt with anyone.
Other people could keep their babbling brooks.
My happy place was right here, with my legs wrapped around him, his heartbeat pounding through me.
How could I ever be happy again without him?