Chapter Kingston
Kingston
Have his lips always been that red? That full? Jesus, I’m losing my mind here.
I want to kiss him so damn bad, but he’s kept his decision in place, just like I knew he would, so I don’t cross that line.
Even though I’m convinced I might actually die from blue balls. I looked it up, and it says you can’t, but I’m still unconvinced.
Lying next to him and not touching him is total bullshit, for the record. I’d have used every last second we have before he has to leave to make him come and scream my name over and over. But this is what he wants.
And I guess it makes sense. He has experience now, like he said. And he’ll use it on some smart, fancy college guy.
I rub absently at my chest from that thought and then look over at Camden, who’s working on homework while he sits on his bed. “You think you’ll fuck someone the first week of school?”
Why did I ask that?
I don’t even know if I want to know the answer. And he looks at me like I’m totally insane. “Uhh . . .”
I try to play it cool, even though I feel sick at the thought. “I mean, you should. You’re experienced now. You deserve to have all the gay sex you want to have. You’ll be like eight hours away from here.”
He studies me cautiously, and I feel like even more of a dumbass. “I don’t know. I don’t plan to just fuck the first guy I meet who’s into it. I’d like a little connection.”
Oh fuck, he wants a connection with these fuckers? Like talking and maybe dates? Not just fucking, but a real, solid connection. Maybe even love?
That really doesn’t sit right inside me. I feel like I’m going to hurl but manage to keep the smile on my face. “Ah, so no one-night stands for you then?”
God, shut up, Kingston. He looks uncomfortable as he shifts on the bed, staring at me. “I don’t think so. I’d want to get to know them first, I think.” He cocks his head to the side. “What about you? You have your confidence back. You have your eye on anyone?”
He sounds like he’s in physical pain when he asks this, and I want to delve more into that. I want to know why it hurts. But I don’t push him. “Nah, not really. I’m ready to start at the landscaping company though.”
Oakley’s dad owns it. It’s the only landscaping company around here, and while it’s mostly just mowing lawns for local business, they also plant trees and flowers and shit. It may sound weird, but I love the idea of making the world more beautiful. Maybe just my part of the world, but still.
No more weeds overtaking the bushes in front of the high school and overgrown lawns on my watch.
“Yeah, I’m sorry I’m going to miss that.” He smirks, the fucker.
“Hey, I’m going to be the best damn landscaper around.” I toss a pencil at him, and he catches it easily.
“I have no doubt. You’ve always been good with your hands.” He looks surprised that actually came out of his mouth, and my eyes widen because is that flirting? Is he flirting with me?
“You miss my hands?” I try. Because again, blue balls. And I’m all-in for using my hands on him and anything else he’ll let me.
He seems to be at war with himself, though, nibbling on his lip with his eyebrows bunched together. He wants to. I can see it, but he won’t let himself have it. Why? I honestly don’t know. School is almost over. It’s not that much of a risk, and I don’t think he should hide who he is for anyone.
Fuck them all if they can’t see how beautiful he is, inside and out. I’ll gladly go to battle with all of them if I need to, but I see the moment he closes off.
His head shakes from side to side and tosses the pencil back at me. I let it fall to the bed instead of catching it. “You need to finish your homework. And study for the anatomy test. If you fail, you’re getting benched, and you’re our best hitter.”
I want to make a joke about studying his anatomy, but I decide against it.
He wants to keep it this way, so I’ll do it.
I’ll do anything for him. Always.