Zach Chapter
Zach
“Wake up.” I open my eyes, but just barely, already wanting to close them again despite the sound of my best friend’s voice in my ear. His sexy, deep, low voice and his breath against my skin.
Yeah I need to wake the hell up before my normal wood turns into something so much more. I turn to look at him and see that the crazy guy is already dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. His boots already on his feet. “Oh God what time is it?”
He chuckles at me and tosses me a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt that is definitely his. It’s washed, but it still smells like him. “Five am. Time for chores.”
“You’re fucking crazy you know that?” I ask as I sit up and then force myself to stand and get dressed. It’s something I’ve done in front of him many times, but I can’t help but worry that it’s weird now. Now that I’ve said the words out loud.
Oh God. I told him.
I finish buttoning up my shirt and then force myself to look over at Adam who is watching me cautiously. “And why am I crazy?”
His deep rumble just does something to me.
Something that I’m ashamed of, but not because he’s a man and not a woman, but because he’s my best friend.
My best friend that was incredible last night.
Who I was certain would kick me out and never speak to me again—but I shouldn’t have ever thought that way about him.
Nothing he’s ever done pointed to that kind of behavior.
But I was still terrified.
It’s been so engrained in my life that being with other men is wrong, that something was wrong with that, that I just couldn’t trust it. Trust him.
And that fills me with the most shame.
Because I’m starting to see that it’s not wrong. Not at all. That love is a beautiful thing and it doesn’t matter if it’s between two men, two women, men and women, it doesn’t matter.
But this town is stifling. My home life is fucking stifling. And everything got so damn messed up in my head.
“You look happy to be awake this early.” I finally force myself to answer his question before I sit back down on the bed and tug my tennis shoes on.
I can hear his grin, “I like chores. I like working hard and keeping this place going.”
I smile at that and finish tying my shoes before I look over at him, “Yeah. I know you do. And I admire the hell out of you.”
“I admire you too.” He says it and I swear I believe him, although I have no idea why. He slugs me in the shoulder, “Let’s go. We’re already behind.”
I chuckle at that but I don’t argue with him. I nod a greeting to his mom who is already working on breakfast and then we head out to the barn. It’s hours of backbreaking work, but he’s not totally insane because it does feel good.
Kind of like right after practice when I’m sweaty and my muscles are sore. It’s a good tired feeling. One I can actually stand.
But then I find myself watching Adam a little too closely as he shovels out the barn, his sleeves pushed up and his forearms flexing with each movement. I look away quickly but it must get his attention because he stops. “You okay?”
My entire mouth is dry and I want to run away from this. Does he think I was checking him out. I mean, I kind of was, but it wasn’t on purpose. Is he mad? He has to be mad.
He leans the shovel against the wall and walks closer to me, “Zach, are you okay?” He repeats and it feels like my heart might beat right out of my chest.
“I’m fine. I am.”
He’s watching me carefully and I know my breathing has picked up just from him standing this close to me because I’m so damn ridiculous. Who the hell falls for thier very straight best friend?
Who does that?
Especially when I couldn’t even say the damn words “I’m gay” only yesterday. But I’ve felt like this for a really long time. I’ve tried like hell to push it down and away, but I can’t. And now he’s even more perfect.
Because he didn’t make me feel bad for being different from him.
For being different from what this entire town expects.
No. He went and said all the perfect things.
All the things that makes my heart race and my palms sweat.
My attraction to him multiplying when I didn’t think it was possible to want him even more.
“Talk to me.”
God. Damn. Him. Those words. Those simple damn words make me swoon like a total idiot.
“I wasn’t checking you out.” I blurt loudly.
His eyes widen and thank fuck his brothers and father are checking on the cows out in the pasture and no where near us right now.
I want to curl up in a ball and wait for him to leave me alone in my misery but my best friend is stubborn.
“O-okay.” He says, raising his eyebrow and staying put as he watches me.
“I just…” I start and then huff, running my hand through my hair.
My cheeks are blazing from embarrassment.
“I just didn’t want you to think that I was checking you out.
You know. I mean, you’re hot.” His eyes widen at that and oh my god, I might actually die from embarrassment, but I can’t stop talking.
“I mean, obviously. You know you’re hot.
You’re like the best looking guy in the school.
Hell the town.” He cocks his head to the side and watches me, not saying anything.
And unfortunately I can’t stop saying things.
“And you know that I’m gay now. Because I told you, but I’m not like checking you out constantly.
Even though you’re well…” I wave my hand in his direction. “Hot.”
Kill me now.
Finally his lips curl upward and he’s grinning, but I still want to die. “You think I’m hot?”
I roll my eyes at that and shove him gently. “You know you are.”
He chuckles at that, but he shakes his head and I guess that makes sense.
Despite all of the girls in our school having crushes on him and flirting with him nonstop, he probably doesn’t even know just how gorgeous he is.
Adam just isn’t like that. He’s the most humble human I’ve ever met.
“Yeah, look…” Now he seems a little uncomfortable and I swear I notice a slight blush on his high cheekbones, but I can’t be certain.
“I don’t care if you check me out or if you don’t.
I just don’t want you to hide anything from me again. Not ever.”
I think my jaw just hit the barn floor. “You don’t….”
“I don’t what?” He asks, all seriousness back.
“You don’t mind me checking you out?”
He laughs at that, not cruelly in anyway, but seems surprised by me asking. “Of course I don’t. Nothing has changed Zach. Except for now you don’t have to hide from me. That’s all that matters. I don’t care that you think I’m hot or whatever.”
Yeah he’s definitely blushing now and I can’t help smiling at him, feeling every single bit of love I always have for him. “Or whatever.”
“Shut up.” He chuckles and nudges me in the shoulder with his big hand. “Nothing changes.”
“Okay.” I say it and I want to believe it even if I feel a little skeevey for checking him out.
Despite him saying he doesn’t mind, it still feels like a betrayal of sorts knowing he isn’t into me.
Not like that. But I know Adam well and I know that he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. He’s not really capable of lying.
I don’t think there’s a better human on this planet. I really don’t.
Adam Bates is just fucking golden.