Chapter Zach
Zach
“Ifigured it out.”
Adam’s voice has my attention as I pull on my shirt over my head and look around at the emptying locker room. I’m on cleanup duty tonight so knowing I had to stay behind anyway I took my time in the shower.
The hot water felt damn good on my aching muscles.
“Figured what out?” He’s dressed and sitting on one of the benches by my locker. The final guy walks out, leaving us alone besides Coach who is in his office with Coach Leighton.
He stands up, “Let’s go clean up and I’ll tell you.”
I grin at that. It doesn’t matter whose turn it is to clean up, the other one always stays behind to help. I nod my head and go with him curious as hell about what he has to tell me.
Maybe he did more research after what I told him in the barn a couple of days ago, but I’m not sure. He doesn’t seem to concerned with an actual label, but he did seem damn happy to find out he’s not the only one who doesn’t seem obsessed with sex.
A sense of pride flows through me as I think about the way his eyes lit up when I read the definition of demisexual to him. Even if my mom or Elliot saw my search history, despite me checking many times that I deleted it all, it would be worth it.
We start picking up the practice field. There isn’t too much of a mess, but it’ll give us a minute to chat in private before we go to put a load of jerseys in the wash and head out.
“So what did you figure out?” I ask.
“How to get you laid.”
Shit. I almost trip over my own damn feet as I walk closer to where he’s picking up some of the footballs used at practice. “What?”
He’s grinning from ear to ear now, standing tall and proud. “I did. It’s not fucking fair that you can’t hook up just because you have to keep your secret.” His face has turned serious now and I can’t help but think about which look is more attractive on him. Happy and excited or stern and excited.
They both work for him.
But also—I’m not sure where the hell this is going.
“You deserver to have all the normal experiences, Zach.” He touches my shoulder gently and holy fuck my brain short circuits for a moment. He really can’t talk about this why he’s touching me.
“Experiences?” I barely squeak out. Willing my brain to come back online.
“Yeah.” He lowers his voice and leans a little closer to me, “Sex. WIth someone other than yourself.”
Holy fuck, my dick jolts at his words. His deep voice saying the word sex is just too damn much, but I can’t get myself to move away. And what exactly is he trying to say here?
Sex? With someone other than myself?
“Uh…” Shit. My brain is officially broken. He knows that I can’t hookup with anyone here. Is he saying… no. No way is he suggesting that we…. Nope. Can’t let my brain go there. It’ll never ever work again if I let my brain go to Adam and me having…
“Zach?” Oh yeah. Words.
Words would be good. But I cannot seem to form them as I stare at him, into those big blue eyes I know so well. That are so familiar to me that I feel instant comfort any time those eyes are on me. “Um. What?” I manage, but my voice breaks on the question.
“Look, we don’t have a game this Friday. It’s our one week off. So I booked us a hotel.”
Holy fucking shit. My cock is rock hard in my jeans and I hope like hell that the denim is strong enough to hold it in and hide my predicament. He can’t mean what my stupid ass brain is hoping he means.
Hotel room. Me and Adam?
“A hotel?” Jesus Christ Zach, get it together.
But Adam must not notice my complete lack of cognitive function because he goes on excitedly. “Yeah. But not here. I got it in this town three hours away. It’s a good sized town and no one will know who we are. I booked it for Friday and Saturday night.”
Phew. That is a whole lot of alone time. He can’t mean this though.
I have to get myself to focus. He’s demisexual or quite possibly asexual. He said he doesn’t obsess about sex or really think about it all that often. So, him doing this for me? What would that mean?
I want Adam. There’s absolutely no denying that anymore, but I don’t want him to do something like this just for me. And God knows he would. He would do anything for me. Even if he didn’t want it or enjoy it.
I can’t let him do this. “Adam.” I force myself to speak up. My voice sounding strangled because every single part of me wants to let him do this. My body is screaming. My heart is yelling. My brain even wants this, but I can’t do it.
“No listen, I know you worry about your sisters.”
Oh my God my sisters. What kind of monster am I that I didn’t even think about them at all during this conversation? Of course I can’t leave them for an entire weekend. My grandma can handle one night, but two? There’s no way. “I can’t leave them.”
This is good. It’s an excuse at least to why I’m turning down my number one fantasy. Two whole nights alone with Adam when he’s trying to get me some sexual experience.
My dick jerks again in my pants and I try to steady my breathing, telling my body to calm the hell down. “I know that. Who do you think you’re talking to?” He’s grinning wide and happy. I love it. And I hate it.
Because I can’t let him do this.
“Your sisters are going to stay with my mom for the weekend. She’s even going to pick them up from school on Friday. And then we’ll be back Sunday evening.”
“Your mom?”
He nods exuberantly. “Yeah. She’s excited. She said they can have popcorn and watch movies without explosions for once. Maybe paint their nails. Have a total girls weekend.”
I can’t help smiling at that because his mom had four boys and all four boys are very damn loud.
Not one of them likes anything without explosives or lots of cursing.
I don’t think they’ll let their mom paint their nails.
My sisters like romcoms and Disney. They’d love manis and pedis. Maybe even baking. I know Mary would.
“All weekend?” I ask because that’s a lot.
“Yeah. My mom is practically giddy. She can’t wait. She loves her boys, there’s no doubt, but she’s pretty damn excited about this.”
I frown, “My mom. Elliot.” I shake my head. “They’ll never go for it.”
He grins surely at me. “I already asked.” His shoulders slump slightly now though, “Your mom sounded almost relieved.”
I think that over for a moment. I don’t talk to my mom that much. I’m too damn mad at her for making us put up with Elliot, but I always hope that deep down she knows that he’s not good for us. That if push came to shove she’d be on our side.
“A hotel.” I let myself think about it. “Three hours away.”
He’s back to full on smiling now. “Yeah.” He lowers his voice, “And there’s this club close to our hotel. Like three blocks away.”
“A club?”
He nods his head, his eyes going bright, “Yeah. It’s a gay club. You can find someone to hookup with. And it’s three hours from here. You’ll have a hotel room. You can get as much experience as you need.”
My stomach dives and my boner is officially gone now as I stare at him. “A gay club? You want me to hookup with someone….” Shit. Of course he didn’t mean him. I can’t believe I let myself think that he would want me like that.
He’s frowning now, but his shoulders remain pulled back and his head is held high. “I don’t know, but I don’t want you to think you don’t have any options. I admire the hell out of you wanting to be there for your sisters, but you can still have a life.”
A life. Right.
Hooking up with strangers in a club.
Fuck. My stomach actually aches at the thought. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex. And it’s also not like I haven’t had sexual attraction to anyone else before, but after thinking for the briefest moment I could have Adam…anything else is just a letdown.
I can’t tell him that though.
He’s done so much for me already. He’s been there like I never expected.
“So you aren’t going with me?”
“Of course I will.” He answers quickly. “I’m going for sure.”
“And what are you going to do when I’m at the club?” I’m not sure he’s thought this through.
“I’m going with you there too.” It’s a stern exclamation. One that says there’s no room for argument. And god damn does my dick like that.
“To a gay club?”
He shrugs, “Sure. It’ll be fun. An experience.”
“And if I hook up? Where will you be?” My throat is dry and lick my lips when I realize they are too. I swear for a moment I think he’s watching my mouth, but I’m sure that’s just wishful thinking.
“Um….well we’re sharing a room.”
“You aren’t going to stay in the room if I bring someone back.” I say it firmly, but I think there’s a part of me that is trying to push him to think about me with someone else.
I’m a glutton for punishment. I want him to tell me he doesn’t want anyone else to touch me. No one but him.
“I’ll stay out in the hall then.”
Not what I wanted to hear, but I still smile because his protective side wouldn’t let him leave me alone with a stranger.
Still, the thought of going out of town with him. Of sharing a hotel with him and even going to a club—maybe convincing him to dance with me—it’s all too great to turn down.
I’m a selfish, stupid son of a bitch.
But I nod my head in agreement because I can’t say no.
I can’t ever say no to Adam Bates.